"A merchant" my father said dryly, munching on stale bread, "what you want to be in this life is a merchant". It was just another one of his morning rituals that I had grown accustomed to. He would eat his breakfast with a far away look in his eye, and mumble about how being a farmer was a waste of his intellect and how if he had been a merchant, then things would have been different. Everyday as long as I can remember, as we would prepare to feed the animals, he would share with me his dream of my becoming something greater than himself. "Be a merchant", he would say again. "Travel, make all of the money and then retire when you like... That's the life, don't doubt me on this, boy." I didn't really care... I liked being on the land, I liked taking care of our animals and I feel somehow that they liked to take care of me. But I wanted to please my parents, I know they had given much for me go to school and receive a higher learning. I was afraid deep down. What if I displeased my family and I was unable to fulfill their hopes for me? This was a question I constantly wrestled with. I didn't feel smart enough to be a merchant, merchants are keen and sharp. I liked to go slow and watch things happen. Whereas, people with a mind for business don't do any watching, they push and create and move! But I will do what is expected of me, at least for now. l know I won't be able to keep it up forever, I know there is an expiration date on how long I can go along with this plan. It hurts my heart to leave the land and the animals. I will sail to the big city, be an apprentice and eventually be a merchant. I just wish that vision of the future didn't make my soul feel sad. Well, I can't help but think that perhaps... While I'm working towards being a merchant... I can try my hand at other things as well.
