Desu Vult

(( Uruks fw halflings update laws

I've awakened from my two year slumber to tell the dark shamans to sod off.I WON'T LET YOU HURT OUR BABY

Laklul's more actively worshiped by players than any spirit at this point, even Krug, he shouldn't be treated like a 'lesser spirit' after half a decade of diligent roleplay. And staff teams shouldn't go letting a small handful of spooks sneak in behind closed doors just to kick over the Orc's sandcastle and feel like special 'godslayers' for a week. It's not conflict RP if only one side is able to show up.

(please don't make folks comb the whole map for a lockpick shop just so they can roleplay)

Name: Turnip Sodov

(( MCName: )) DesuVult

Race: Dirt Peasant

Gender: Vegetable-kin

(( Timezone: )) CST

Write a little about why it is you wish to serve the Aengul of Order:

"Why I want to be a paladin", in limerick form: 
by Turnip Sodov II, 
son of renown terrorist and sexual deviant Turnip 'the Bloody Awful' Sodov I

I hail from a long line of lynchers,
For ages we put spooks in the pincers,
But something went wrong,
Now my wallet's like a eunuch's thong,
Empty, in need of adventures.

In all seriousness though i'm in deep with the Burglars' Guild and in crippling dept, please give me a job,

Will fight evil for food.

Also a witch gave me some rock that's made of baby souls and heresy. It won't stop staring at me and frankly I haven't a clue on how to go about lynching the bugger. Please help.

*the application stinks of tears, cheap liquor, and mediocre poetry*

1 hour ago, NotEvilAtAll said:

I still can't tell if this is a meme or if it is serious, it's just too silly and non-formal

((Thank you for summing up the Halfling race.))

Burglars' Guild
'Carpe Aurum!'

*Fliers posted in Mellsbury, Reedsborough, and Rivershire*

Founded earlier this morning by part-time International Criminal Mastermind Cabbage 'bit of a *****' Took III, the Extremely Exclusive and Fashionable Guild of Burglars, Kleptomancers, and Squid Fanatics boasts a long, lucrative history of organized crime, underfooted deals, and premeditated debauchery. Operating out of a top secret evil lair beneath the Mellsbury communal outhouse, this mysterious gang of exceedingly handsome villains fights tirelessly to free the good citizens of Axios from their plague of material possessions and unneighborly hoarding habits.

Employment Opportunities
Gang☆Star - Squid Pope Cabbage 'alcohol was involved in this decision' Took III

Burglars - Honest, hardworking salarymen licensed in the ancient Halfling art of burglary.

Muscle (Bigguns*) - Burgles things on high shelves.

*(in accordance with the Burglars Guild's diversity outreach initiative we are currently trialing Bigguns as 'honorary burglars', consisting of whatever impressionable young bystanders that happen to be around at the moment's convenience)

Solicitors - Oversees door-to-door loitering and insurance sales, and SPREADS THE GLORIOUS WORD OF SQUIDGOD TO HEATHENOUS KNOXIST SWINE.

Getaway Driver - Drives the boat.

Burglars' Insurance 
For just nine easy payments of 9.95*, you too can be protected from burglars by burglars. Guild sponsored Burglars' Insurance packets protect unsuspecting pigeons like you from the unscheduled home intrusions of licensed burglaring professionals. While we can't stop the unlawful actions of unlicensed burglars, we can provide much needed moral support in the aftermath of their devilish crimes.

Act now and we'll throw in a luxurious Harian-catskin rug! Our gift to you (while supplies last).

*all transactions must be conducted using approved Burglars' Guild currency i.e. suggestively-shaped turnips, amusing hats, fancy tea sets, bitcoins, and industrial grade mustache wax. All contracts are final, no take backsies.

Rules: 
#1: Don't tell the sheriff
#2: Always wipe your feet before entering a client's home.
#3: Lift with your legs.
#4: Arugula Wills It
#5: Have Fun!

Diplomatic Relations
Sheriff's Office - Enemies
Cobblers' Guild - Enemies
Cephalopod Appreciation Club - Friendly
Church of Arugula - Splits the rent

Upcoming Events
Pantry Raid Panty Raid
also pantry raid
Company Picnic

To-Steal List: 
paint for the posters
new getaway boat
the Krug Fried Chicken szechuan sauce secret recipe

Application Form: (Halflings Only!)

Codename: 
How tough are ye?: 
((wanna take this rp to skype??)):

Please address all applications, inquiries, fan mail, love confessions, and solicitors to the Secret Lair Beneath the Loo, Piss Room Ln. Mellsbury, Haysend.
 

1 hour ago, _Jandy_ said:

Can halflings breed with the other races? I've seen too many bad 'original' jokesters running around on ologlings or dark halflings and it is repulsively dumb and doesn't really seem logical.

Fun Fact: Halflings actually reproduce via 'Cabbage Surrogate', and are grown and harvested in their fields from heads of lettuce, thus why, as Dovahkiin touched on, inter-species relationships would be biologically impossible.

Source: This is how my character Cabbage was born. He's actually just a really really tall, improper halfling. No meta pls.

1 hour ago, xDK said:

 

 

Lord knows i'd Purge

Quote

 

Nothing stopped you from emoting an over the top death of your own. 

 

So, i'm no GM, but i'd argue against this. If John simply emoted an attack on Tom's arm, wouldn't it be rather unrealistic for Tom to claim he got cut clean in half? And wouldn't that also go against your other point?* I mean, what if John was trying to take Tom alive?

Quote

 

*However, you cannot force an action on behalf of how the swordsman cuts.

 

Lemme give you another example of some actual roleplay I once saw:

Some mate emotes pushing some lady away.

The lady responds with the following:

*gets thrown against the wall, hits head, falls unconscious, bleeds heavily.*

(*alerts every white knight within emote range to come to her aid*)

It's certainly possible to 'overplay' an injury to the extreme, even to the victim's own benefit. Sure some folks wouldn't file it under their own personal definition of powergaming, but some would, and at the very least it's unladylike and doesn't convey good family values.
Regardless, if someone ever tries blowing your emotes out of intended proportions like this, simply explain to them in /looc or PMs that they're not being very cash money and ask them to re-emote.
Unless of course in this context John wanted Tom cut in half, then by all means, you do you, ignore everything I just said.

"God is Just." A boy named Cabbage offers, hoping Ser Emery Hall might finally find rest among the Seven Skies.

Cabbage stares hopelessly out his window towards his late mentor's now barren home.

"Blood for Ashford."

Hello! I'm a vegetable human, and i'll start this off with a shoutout to cookedporkchops_ who's been super friendly and helpful (kept me off the cold streets with a job and a home) And also to the boys at Drusco and the Brotherhood of the Golden Crozier who've all been so welcoming this past week. Thanks all! I'll be doing what I can to watch out for my fellow ducklings.

Out-Of-Character Information
Please do your best to correct spelling and grammatical errors, this is an RP server and writing is the main form of communication!
 
What’s your Minecraft Account Name?: DesuVult
How old are you?: 19
Are you aware the server is PG-13 (You won’t be denied for being under 13): Yep
Have you read and agreed to the rules?: Totally
What’s the rule you agree with the most?: 'Players found guilty of meme trafficking can and will be persecuted to the furthest extent of the law' (gotta keep these sickos off the streets)
Are there any rule(s) that confuse you or don’t make sense?(If so we can help clear it up! You will not be denied for having a question on the rules): Nope
How did you find out about Lord of the Craft?: Friends
 
Definitions
Feel free to Google the answers or browse our forums, but make sure that you write the reply in your own words, not those of another website or person!
 
What is roleplaying?: Acting through a fictional character with other players' fictional creations. i.e. Playing pretend with strangers on a fantasy minecraft server.
What is metagaming?: Using OOC information your character wouldn't be aware of in roleplay for personal advantage. See 'Meta Team 6' and 'Dwarven Mechanized War Pigeons' for further readings.
What is powergaming?: Playing one's character up as unrealistically powerful and/or invulnerable. Also, forcing unreasonable actions on other characters. e.g. *Saucy'K-senpai easily catches the guard's mace, disarming him. He then proceeds to stick a perfect double tuck backflip!*
 
In-Character Information
Now you actually make your character - be creative but stay reasonable! Make sure they make sense and that they follow lore. Try to come up with a character that you actually want to play.
 
Character’s name: Cabbage
Character’s sex: Male
Character’s race: Human
Character’s age: 18
Biography  (Please make it a decent two paragraphs long. Remember to add server lore, and events that happened to your character so that they don’t contradict history.): 
 

Once upon a time, there toiled a certain lackluster pair of unsophisticated farmers within the Holy Oren Empire. This couple would come to name their son 'Cabbage', ruining his life forever.

As far as tragic backstories go, that was about the worst of it, Cabbage and his siblings lived in relative peace and mediocrity, his parents managing to, against all odds, actually survive the origin story in no less than perfect health.
 

A young Cabbage was duly brought up proper amongst the other stereotypical imperial posterchildren, fanatically devoted to the Church of Canon, to his Holiness, the High Pontiff Lucien III, to his Imperial Majesty, Emperor John I Frederick, and, of course, to the general and inevitable ruination of all filthy heretic scum.
 

Classic Orenian childhood.
 

As such, Cabbage holds close dreams of knighthood, all so that he might join his childhood heroes in the splendid crusade cultural enrichment of infidels. Which, in most other circumstances, would be a reasonable ambition for any Orenian lad. Just not for any would-be Ser Cabbages. 
 

When describing him, others might use words like 'forgetful' or 'absentminded' or 'clumsy'. 'An idiot'  his parents would clarify. Unfortunately, Cabbage was the sort of child who, if left to tying their own shoes, stood a better chance of  misplacing a whole boot in the process. Understandably, he wasn't the sort of child you'd leave in reach of the cutlery, much less the family sword. Thus, any talk of 'knighthood' was, rest assured, taken out back and shot. At least, for a while.
 

It was, coincidentally, around the time Cabbage accidentally lit the barn on fire (for, rest assured, neither the first, nor last time), they quickly came around to the idea of a 'structured military environment'. "After all," they reasoned "Even he can't screw up as trebuchet fodder." 
 

And so began the riveting tale of Cabbage's military career!

Personality Traits: An almost fanatical devotion to the Church; a well-trained allergy to heresy, magic, and all things of a 'spooky' persuasion; and a certain xenophobic ignorance that just screams country hick. (Really quite likable though once you get past the whole 'HERESY IS MY TRIGGER' vibe.) An idiot.

Ambitions: To become a splendid knight of the most Holy Empire. Then the *******.

Strengths/Talents: Good family values, good core strength, good effort.

Weaknesses/Inabilities: Painfully clumsy and not particularly 'good' at anything. He's also named after a vegetable, if that's not a handicap, I dunno what is. Fire hazard.

Appearance (List the extra details of your characters appearance, IE; height & weight): Blonde hair, blue eyes, 5'6'', 130lbs, scrawny build, unsettlingly large ears.

Appearance, please provide us a screenshot of your character’s skin (If you need help, see our screenshot guide here):