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yourmother
  • Rules: Yes
    Referral: Other
    How do you avoid powergaming in roleplay?: /
    How does metagaming disrupt fair roleplay?: /
    Status: Denied

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Character Name: Saya Minatsuki
Character Race: Human
Character Gender: Male
Character Age: 0
Physical Description: .
Screenshot of Skin:



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took me 3 hours to make before i make my account,and 1 hour waiting my dump internet to come back after i broke something in the ligh of the room,so the light of the house turn off,sounds funny?,thronescraft took me 4 days just evry time i look up the forum a staff member say change that,and there is 100% same as here,but im going to try to stay in this server more than 3 years if i can

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This is a really confusing app to review, and while it might seem like I might be poking holes – I know people are protective over their writing, I’m here to try and help.

  • Overall, I’m going to start with one big point – your grammar. Spelling mistakes aside (we all make them), you app has little to no grammar to it, and it makes for difficult reading. It’s a main point, when you consider roleplay is all about reading.
    • Sentences have beginnings and ends. Capitals and periods. You simply continue with commas, and it’s very difficult to read, as it makes each sentence run for so long. In fact, I can’t actually see a full stop/period in the biography at all.
    • You also over use capitals – you don’t need to capitalize every other word and, in some cases, you don’t use grammar at all. It’s, overall, very inconsistent.
  • Another key pointer is that, in your bid of spending hours on your app, you failed to read the guidelines above. It states quite clearly that you need to include two pieces of server lore in your biography.
    • This could be city names, map names (Arcas, Atlas etc) things about server based religions- there is a wiki available [Here] to help you.
  • There really isn’t much wrong with having a story so long, or one with that context, but you need to make it server appropriate, despite writing it outside of LOTC, you need to make an effort to adapt it to follow the application guidelines.

Now, to the rest of your app.

  • It is entirely fine to have a character that dresses like a girl, but is male – entirely fine but, you have to consider a few things.
    • The skin you have looks perfectly female. A man passing as a female wouldn’t look so perfect- no one is a master of disguise. Details such as face shape, and voice, are things that you can not display on a minecraft skin, but at a character age of 21 – He would look very, very manly, and so would likely be attacked for it. There is no way, unless he was a younger, skinny man, that he would pull off pretending to be a girl. (Remember that looking like a girl will not change his voice- he could make it higher, but it would still not sound female.) Consider also, that in this world, people might even execute him for being different. Anything could happen- this fantasy time period doesn’t take kindly to humans who act different.
  • So you /can/ keep this- you /can/ have him dress as a woman, but it is down to you as a player to not power-game. Make sure that you write in your description in the server that he is male, because it would be something so, so obvious to another character.
  • Because he was injured with an arrow, does not mean that he would then have a hole in his arm. Wounds heal- so he would have a scar instead.
  • Your interesting facts should be something trait based instead of random bits of information. There should also be a positive, a neutral, and a negative.
    • Being afraid of something is your negative.
    • But your other two need altering.
  • Finally, even though I have touched upon the skin, I will mention it again. It looks perfectly female, and that is a bit of an issue when you have a man dressing up as a woman. But I also know it would be difficult to make it look like anything else, so if you intend on keeping it, make sure you specify in your character sheet when you make it in game that he is male, or even if you do not specify a gender, you elaborate on his not-so girly build and voice.

As a side note, we ask you change things to suit the guidelines that are listed right above the application.

 

Please, make your changes in your own time! Any questions, feel free to PM me on the forums or on discord, Laurelin#0797

And, feel free to join us on the new player discord too: https://discord.gg/eySYjqw

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There are quite a few reasons for denying this application.

  • The only thing you actually changed was adding the word Arcas to your story, in a context that makes no sense. A well known place? Arcas is the land we live on. You need to spend a bit more time researching the server, and realizing that while your story is viable, it needs to be adapted. You can’t just bring your manga into another fantasy realm.
  • From having a bit of a google, I stumbled across  your Hypixel post from April this year. While I can’t say for certain, I’m fairly convinced that you aren’t 21 – as the post says 16. Either way, I’m not too sure.
  • You’ve made no attempt at the appearence issue I listed. Your character still looks like a perfect female, and still you remain with ‘a hole in his arm.’
  • Overall, you need to re-write your application, and you need to decide on your age, as silly as that sounds.
  • And finally, patience is a virtue. Allow for a 24 hour turn around with your review- staff on the server have lives to attend to, and BUMPing your post changes nothing.

You are welcome to PM me if you have any queries, or wish to debate this choice.

 

You are welcome to reapply in 24 hours.

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