I
Name: Tyler “Juicebox” Reynolds
Title: The Slightly Important One
Tyler was born during a power outage at a Chili’s. Not in the hospital. In the booth. Booth 6. The sizzling fajitas were apparently “symbolic.”
As a baby, he refused baby food and would only eat Goldfish crackers sorted by emotional vibe. The green ones made him “think about taxes.” No one knows why.
At age 7, he accidentally saluted a substitute teacher and the fire alarm went off. Ever since then, mildly dramatic things happen when he makes confident eye contact.
Examples:
He once tripped in Walmart and a store announcement immediately said, “Cleanup on aisle 4.”
Every time he says “watch this,” something breaks.
When he microwaves pizza rolls, one always explodes in a perfect circle.
There’s a rumor in his hometown that he is “The One Who Almost Does Stuff.”
He:
Almost joined student council.
Almost made varsity.
Almost started a YouTube channel.
Almost learned guitar (he knows one chord and plays it aggressively).
One time in 8th grade, he sneezed during a quiet test and three people dropped their pencils at the same time. Coincidence? Scientists say yes. His grandma says no.
The prophecy was written on the back of a Taco Bell receipt:
“When the Boy Who Says ‘It’s Not That Deep’
Faces Something That Is Slightly Deep,
He Will Lock In.”
No one knows what he’s locking in for.
Tyler believes:
Ducks are plotting.
The moon follows him specifically.
His left shoe has better character development than his right.
He once tried to start a movement called “Bring Back Vines.” It got 14 likes and one confused comment from an aunt.
He is not the main character.
But sometimes… when the wind hits just right and his hoodie strings blow dramatically…
He feels like he could be.
Until he forgets what he walked into the room for.
