First and foremost I enjoyed how you set up your post. It was very clear to read. However, I thoroughly disagree with a telekinesis mage using "energy barriers". I agree that a telekinesis mage should be able to move objects with their mind, but how can they create energy shields. Moreover, it seems like there is more of a focus on these barriers/shields than it is on mental the mental pull of objects.
Whats wrong with the idea of the energy barriers?
When I read about energy barriers, I thought it was a great idea, when I read the telekinesis part, it was a great idea. But then when I pieced the two together, it felt like a combination of two branches of magic. One being telekinesis, the other (forgive me for saying this) alteration from Oblivion. Though I know alteration in oblivion also had telekinesis in the alteration tree (I think), I also disagreed with that.
Whats the difference between telekinesis and energy barriers ?
To me, I feel like telekinesis is the ability to mentally manipulate physical objects. Meaning, the mage is able to mold and move objects to their needs. However, Energy barriers is a completely different idea. This one being a shield of pure energy (no physical manipulation, but rather "energy" manipulation). I feel as though someone could spend their entire life studying the ability to create a shield, and one could also spend their entire life around the concept of manipulating objects.
Further explanation of why the two are incompatible (in my mind at least)
Most magics operate on energy, or physical; though it is interesting to combine the two, I feel that it needs to be separated. If a telekinesis mage needed to create a shield, why wouldnt he just take a chunk out of the earth and bring it before him and his opponent. It also would probably require less energy that creating an entire wall of pure energy between you and your opponent. Take for example a meeting between a mage and a rober.
Robin Hood's evil twin jumps out of the trees and demands ALL the mages money
The mage declines
Evil twin readies an arrow and prepares to take aim on the mage
Stop here now, this is where a mage can go multiple ways. A telekinesis mage has a few options, while an ... alteration mage has a lot of choices as well, let me give you a few possible scenarios
The telekinesis mage responds by quickly locating a pebble and attempts to fling it towards the arrow, in hopes of breaking it.
OR
The telekinesis mage decides to attempt to wrench to bow out of the persons hands using their mind powers.
OR
The telekinesis mage attempts to form an earthen shield from the ground, and place it between him and his target.
Right there, the mage just chose three paths, each according to agression styles (Passive, normal, agressive)
Now, same scenario, but now with a mage that is only but for wards and shields (alteration lets call it for the moment)
The mage starts to form a U shaped shield. The arrow flies towards the mage, but the mage bends his shield and the arrow loops around in the semi-circle and starts to head towards the archer.
The mage forms a wall of energy between him and his target, hoping that when the arrow is shot, it will merely bounce off and no one will be harmed
The mage encases the man in an energy box, preventing him from getting out, or shooting the arrow.
So what was the point of all that?
It was to demonstrate that a telekinesis mage already has the tools he needs to get by, and doesn't need that additional energy barrier. In fact, I think you already have the premise to create a second branch, completely devoted to energy barriers. However, I feel like that as of right now, the mage would have an extremely diverse set of paths, that, compared to other mages, might seem overpowered. Take all those scenarios, now what you are proposing, is what should be given to one mage. I feel that your style of telekinesis, is denying what could possibly be an entire new branch of magic. And thus, preventing more depth from being developed.
All in all, it was a great idea, its just when put together, its not like the glorious combination of: toast and butter, PBJ, or meat and cheese. It felt more like you were putting bbq sauce and mustard on a nice piece of steak. Sure each one may taste good on it by itself, but together it ruins it.
Solutions?
I believe that you should actually create another branch entire devoted to the ability to create shields (believe it or not, I think it has tremendous depth... look at the choice of scenarios. I only named three, and each one also appeared logical. If you need help with the U shield, just think it out before pm'ing me). While also keeping your current telekinesis branch, just remove the idea of energy shields.
I too have spent time outlining this, hopefully you guys can see what I'm getting at. (Instead of having a reduced amount of depth in one branch, expand it out into two branches, and thoroughly explore it)
Replying to you Q and A questions:
Can't move the ground, ocean, etc (earth, water); due to too many particles
I disagree, because I see no difference in removing a chunk of the earth, than picking a shield off the ground with your mind. Sure the mage might have to expend more energy carving out the earth before using it as a shield. But it would also allow the attacker to gain a slight edge when attacking. It also would cause the mage to get more drained, than supposing to pick up a decent sized rock, and not carve it out.
Can't stop moving objects
There are a few things wrong with this statement, first of all, that means when you start to manipulate an object, you lose control. For the moment you start bending it or moving it... well, exactly. I think higher mages should be able to stop faster objects, at the expense of more energy. Perhaps the mage can also "redirect" the arrow, instead of completly stop it. Think of catching a baseball with your hand. It hurts a shitload to try and stop it straight up. However, if you absorb some of the energy by drawing your arm backwards after catching it, it reduces the pain by a lot. Thus, the mage can redirect the arrow, for only a little energy (change the course of it by a little)
This would provide the solutions to create the two branches as stated earlier, sorry for posting it later.
First and foremost I enjoyed how you set up your post. It was very clear to read. However, I thoroughly disagree with a telekinesis mage using "energy barriers". I agree that a telekinesis mage should be able to move objects with their mind, but how can they create energy shields. Moreover, it seems like there is more of a focus on these barriers/shields than it is on mental the mental pull of objects. Whats wrong with the idea of the energy barriers? When I read about energy barriers, I thought it was a great idea, when I read the telekinesis part, it was a great idea. But then when I pieced the two together, it felt like a combination of two branches of magic. One being telekinesis, the other (forgive me for saying this) alteration from Oblivion. Though I know alteration in oblivion also had telekinesis in the alteration tree (I think), I also disagreed with that. Whats the difference between telekinesis and energy barriers ? To me, I feel like telekinesis is the ability to mentally manipulate physical objects. Meaning, the mage is able to mold and move objects to their needs. However, Energy barriers is a completely different idea. This one being a shield of pure energy (no physical manipulation, but rather "energy" manipulation). I feel as though someone could spend their entire life studying the ability to create a shield, and one could also spend their entire life around the concept of manipulating objects. Further explanation of why the two are incompatible (in my mind at least) Most magics operate on energy, or physical; though it is interesting to combine the two, I feel that it needs to be separated. If a telekinesis mage needed to create a shield, why wouldnt he just take a chunk out of the earth and bring it before him and his opponent. It also would probably require less energy that creating an entire wall of pure energy between you and your opponent. Take for example a meeting between a mage and a rober. Robin Hood's evil twin jumps out of the trees and demands ALL the mages money The mage declines Evil twin readies an arrow and prepares to take aim on the mage Stop here now, this is where a mage can go multiple ways. A telekinesis mage has a few options, while an ... alteration mage has a lot of choices as well, let me give you a few possible scenarios The telekinesis mage responds by quickly locating a pebble and attempts to fling it towards the arrow, in hopes of breaking it. OR The telekinesis mage decides to attempt to wrench to bow out of the persons hands using their mind powers. OR The telekinesis mage attempts to form an earthen shield from the ground, and place it between him and his target. Right there, the mage just chose three paths, each according to agression styles (Passive, normal, agressive) Now, same scenario, but now with a mage that is only but for wards and shields (alteration lets call it for the moment) The mage starts to form a U shaped shield. The arrow flies towards the mage, but the mage bends his shield and the arrow loops around in the semi-circle and starts to head towards the archer. The mage forms a wall of energy between him and his target, hoping that when the arrow is shot, it will merely bounce off and no one will be harmed The mage encases the man in an energy box, preventing him from getting out, or shooting the arrow. So what was the point of all that? It was to demonstrate that a telekinesis mage already has the tools he needs to get by, and doesn't need that additional energy barrier. In fact, I think you already have the premise to create a second branch, completely devoted to energy barriers. However, I feel like that as of right now, the mage would have an extremely diverse set of paths, that, compared to other mages, might seem overpowered. Take all those scenarios, now what you are proposing, is what should be given to one mage. I feel that your style of telekinesis, is denying what could possibly be an entire new branch of magic. And thus, preventing more depth from being developed. All in all, it was a great idea, its just when put together, its not like the glorious combination of: toast and butter, PBJ, or meat and cheese. It felt more like you were putting bbq sauce and mustard on a nice piece of steak. Sure each one may taste good on it by itself, but together it ruins it. Solutions? I believe that you should actually create another branch entire devoted to the ability to create shields (believe it or not, I think it has tremendous depth... look at the choice of scenarios. I only named three, and each one also appeared logical. If you need help with the U shield, just think it out before pm'ing me). While also keeping your current telekinesis branch, just remove the idea of energy shields. I too have spent time outlining this, hopefully you guys can see what I'm getting at. (Instead of having a reduced amount of depth in one branch, expand it out into two branches, and thoroughly explore it) Replying to you Q and A questions: Can't move the ground, ocean, etc (earth, water); due to too many particles I disagree, because I see no difference in removing a chunk of the earth, than picking a shield off the ground with your mind. Sure the mage might have to expend more energy carving out the earth before using it as a shield. But it would also allow the attacker to gain a slight edge when attacking. It also would cause the mage to get more drained, than supposing to pick up a decent sized rock, and not carve it out. Can't stop moving objects There are a few things wrong with this statement, first of all, that means when you start to manipulate an object, you lose control. For the moment you start bending it or moving it... well, exactly. I think higher mages should be able to stop faster objects, at the expense of more energy. Perhaps the mage can also "redirect" the arrow, instead of completly stop it. Think of catching a baseball with your hand. It hurts a shitload to try and stop it straight up. However, if you absorb some of the energy by drawing your arm backwards after catching it, it reduces the pain by a lot. Thus, the mage can redirect the arrow, for only a little energy (change the course of it by a little) This would provide the solutions to create the two branches as stated earlier, sorry for posting it later.