I tried to implement the changes you requested to the best of my ability, but I’d like to clarify two things:
The part of “...disrupting the four great elements” is purely hyperbole, and not literal. Just an over exaggeration for the sake of comedy, but I did remove it since it may have been confusing. Additionally, “Coun-Vean-Eine-Ance” is another joke, as it’s meant to a tongue-in-cheek reference to “convenience”. Hence, his ideals and actions change for “convenience”. Also, I apologize for not clarifying that the character is not actually cursed nor magical. Him being a “curse” is just a piece of deprecating humor. I meant to convey that the word “cursed” is being used similarly to how someone may say that the streets of New York City are “cursed” with traffic. However, in the aim of reaching clarity I removed that as well. He’s also human, as stated in the Character Race section below the biography, and I changed most instances of the words “being” and “creature” to “person” or “him” to better clarify his race. The aim of my character is that he is equivalent to the poor comedy relief characters often seen in sitcoms, so if there’s anything that might indicate him possessing a serious power/advantage, it’s most likely not the case.
I tried to adhere to your comments as best as I can, so please notify me if there’s anything more you’d like me to do, or if you’d just prefer me to scrap the whole backstory and write it in an extremely straightforward manner. I personally would prefer not to have to do so, as it could detract from the main theme of the character, but if you deem it necessary, then I will do so.
Ghostnn
in Accepted
Posted
Hello Aquaquean,
I tried to implement the changes you requested to the best of my ability, but I’d like to clarify two things:
The part of “...disrupting the four great elements” is purely hyperbole, and not literal. Just an over exaggeration for the sake of comedy, but I did remove it since it may have been confusing. Additionally, “Coun-Vean-Eine-Ance” is another joke, as it’s meant to a tongue-in-cheek reference to “convenience”. Hence, his ideals and actions change for “convenience”. Also, I apologize for not clarifying that the character is not actually cursed nor magical. Him being a “curse” is just a piece of deprecating humor. I meant to convey that the word “cursed” is being used similarly to how someone may say that the streets of New York City are “cursed” with traffic. However, in the aim of reaching clarity I removed that as well. He’s also human, as stated in the Character Race section below the biography, and I changed most instances of the words “being” and “creature” to “person” or “him” to better clarify his race. The aim of my character is that he is equivalent to the poor comedy relief characters often seen in sitcoms, so if there’s anything that might indicate him possessing a serious power/advantage, it’s most likely not the case.
I tried to adhere to your comments as best as I can, so please notify me if there’s anything more you’d like me to do, or if you’d just prefer me to scrap the whole backstory and write it in an extremely straightforward manner. I personally would prefer not to have to do so, as it could detract from the main theme of the character, but if you deem it necessary, then I will do so.
Thank you,
Ghostnn