Illyriant

Born and raised south across the river from Haense as an only child my family lived in a state of isolation rarely entering into contact with society and individuals of the world except in the cases of a need of supplies/resources. My father was a cold man rarely showing me a sign of compassion or love and preference himself to be away from home. In the times he was home he was often taken by the mistress of liquor and in his disdain for the life he had would take to hitting me. Rarely would my mother intervene yet afterwards she would always attempt to be some comfort. He would consistently remind me of my failures, of the mistake of my birth and of the pointlessness of my existence. In time I would only grow more rebellious of my father and would fight back and only enraged he would only strike fiercer. I hated the man for who he was. A father who could never love his only child. A man who was too weak to be better for his family so enthralled in liquor and disdain for his mistakes. His toxicity lived even after his death in my life evident from the failings he predicted at the loss of my second and true love. I was a young man when he passed and even on his deathbed he disowned me. From that point, I cared for my mother as she was frail until her death a few years later. With no blood to tie me to my home and a hope for a better life I burned my home and took to Markev where I enlisted in the military and served a twelve year period until I took leave. I spent some time afterwords remaining in markev falling into an abusive relationship with a woman. I would remain with her for two years until I finally had enough and left markev returning to the countryside to live in solitude with depression. In time I would come to meet a woman called Lucy who was also depressed. I would be with her often and try to comfort and help her in her depression ignoring my own dark thoughts and issues. In time we would come to fall in love and I felt truly happy as a man. As though all the world was good. My depression seemed gone with her. Like she was my cure and I hers... yet my condition would soon decay and I would take to abusing her. It came natural and for a time it felt like I was justified. How wrong I was... she ended her life. I truly felt alone. Helpless and powerless in that moment. I begged and pleaded to the maker. I wanted this nightmare of life to end. I asked the maker to take my life but he would not tend. So alone I have spent my life in isolation to this day... maybe in my suffering, I can be forgiven? I feel that hope of my youth still in the darkness, however. Perhaps I should re-enter the world and do some good.