𝓐𝓷 𝓞𝓹𝓮𝓷 𝓖𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓗𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓝𝓮𝔀 𝓞𝓻𝓮-𝓚𝓮𝓮𝓹𝓮𝓻 𝓸𝓯 𝓝𝓾𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓲𝓵
To whomover may heed this errandwrit,
I, Camulos Goldaer Brúnor, Poet of The White Court of Númendil, beckon the folk, fyrdmen, and kingkin of the boroughlands to hear out my gripes with the newly-alloted accountant and ore-keeper of our kingdom, who is called naught but by his ekename, CLARK.
Though Clark has (somehow) managed to fulfill his duties as an accountant, such thriving has been greatly overshadowed by his dreadful, uncouth misbehaving that has caused much ado not only in The White City, but to the lands where he has fared.
In sooth, I have known Clark since I was a knapling, for he is kindred to me—a family member, though even I am not quite certain how....
Nonetheless, he would come to stay at my folk's house when his own parents were out on business. It was awful! Refusing to clean his dirtied boots before coming inside, moaning about my mother's cooking, throwing my father's pipe to the dogs for them to fetch with. And that is not to even speak of his worthless quips on anything from the mating cycles of mosquitos to near-sacrilegious speeches on how "GOD really could've designed this world more efficiently!"
I was once hopeful this misbehaving could be explained by youthful immaturity, or a cry for help. But I was wrong. For Clark has only gotten worse ever since he's reemerged here in our kinsborough. He has been a thorn in the side of everyone, from the everyman to members of The Royal House of Arthalionath, and more lateward, the folk of Koyokuni, who I am told were most offended by his boorish demeanor.
I can no longer sit idly by as one who shares my bloodline continues to mar the reputation of all that our hallowed kingdom stands for, and thus, take it upon myself to teach Clark the misbeholden and callow errors of his ways. Not long ago, Clark himself challenged me to a onewye...a duel. To quell the worries of the many who already know this, I will make it clear I have no hopes to kill the man, for I strongly oppose the sin of kinslaying (no matter how distantly related said kin may be....)
With that, I say this: Ready yourself, CLARK, for you will soon learn a lesson from this bookman.