Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'joke'.
Found 2 results
-
Oh no, a satire post, please don't ban me from life, mods. I swear, I'll get the money to you by frid- *incoherent gagged screaming* Have you been wronged by someone? Has life treated you unfairly and you now want to take it out on a poor innocent person who doesn't deserve it? Are you a toxic idiot who just wants to see people die for ooc reasons? Got straight up rekt because you're a noob who called pvp default but can't mineman click? Well if there's an answer to any of these questions, today's your lucky day! For the low low price of your mortal essence, five hundred dollars, your firstborn child, and the will to live of whoever's closest to you, you can now make that happen! Call me at 5-800-GET-GOOD to order a professional hit on anyone's characters! If you're really just that salty, you can hire me to do the good ol' stabby stab on whoever dared wrong you! Gen's murder emporium is not responsible for any failed assassionations, post-murder pugsying, gamer rage, lack of satisfaction with our services, or dragon queens swooping out of the sky and attacking as a result of you purchasing our products
-
Are you a lonely and desperate individual seeking human attention? Well you are in luck with the all new LOTC service, “Rent A Friend.” Now what exactly is “Rent A Friend?” Well it is just as it sounds, it is for lonely fucks lovely people such as yourself who need a friend to talk to. Want to vent about your Mineman spouse cheating on you? Rent a friend! Just got robbed and lost all of your hard earned loot? Rent a friend! Don’t want to take our word for it? Then here are some reviews from past customers. “I paid for “Rent A Friend” and let me tell you I have never had a more phenomenal conversation with another human being.” -Anonymous “One of their “friends” said that we should ERP or something. I didn’t know what they were talking about, but I agreed and it was the best decision I have ever made!” -A Recent Customer “I’ve been using this service for a while and all the “friends” who work here are such good listeners. I told them about how my husband (a human) cheated on me (a dwelf), and they never interrupted me. They didn’t even say anything to me. Not even once. If only my husband was as good a listener as them. -A Happy Customer “At first I reluctantly paid for this service, but after my first appointment with one of their “friends” I was delightfully pleased. At first I was nervous and afraid no one would show up, but then a really handsome man approached me. He took me by the hand and we went to a nice bakery where we talked about life until he had to leave. He was a real cutie. I was sad when he left, but he said he would pay me back for the meal whenever we saw each other again. It’s been a month and I can’t wait to meet my knight in shining armor, again!” -A Lovely Lady So stop being a ***** and buy yourself a “friend” NOW! (P.S. No actual ERP involved)
