YHVH

Yahweh was born at the beginning of time, or time was born out of him; he hasn't puzzled that out, yet. Anyway, it happened with a bang. A really big bang. Like, the loudest bang you've ever heard, except for your neighbors when they leave the windows open at night. He floated in the Void for millions of years getting used to his body of physics and entanglement-senses. First, he asked: "Why do I exist?" Quickly getting bored of this question, he then moved on to more pressing matters, such as, "What is the meaning of life?", "Where is everyone else?" and "Why is it so hot in here?" He decided to solve the latter two, and take a good shot at the former. Wielding the adze of probabilities, he chose the closest spot he could find for carbon-based life to survive, and by collision and cooling formed a wet rock. Then he looked upon this rock, smiled at his face moving upon the surface of the water, and said, "Let there be light." And there were Aenguls, designed in his own reflection. Seeing that light would not last without dark, he said, "Let there be dark." And there, upon the face of the world, spawned not the Daemons; who had been formed as lyrical counterpoint to the Aenguls, and were a rowdy bunch; but the first empire of Man. Oren. Now Iblees, who was foremost among the Daemons, saw this empire and thought, "Usurpers. They wish my place as the ruler of darkness, and the outside limits of objects. But nobody is edgier than me." So Iblees raised his cloaked hands and said from his cloak of flame, "I will bless these Men, but they will think it a curse. They will not long suffer in filth, but there will be swift release." Yahweh was irked by Iblees' interference, and so he said, "I will curse these Men, to even the playing-field. They will have many offspring, to extend the suffering of their ilk, and they will always reach for the Seven Skies in vain hope of ascension." The time had come to populate the world with plants. It was a largely boring affair that dragged on for days. Yahweh blessed and sanctified the seventh day, which we now know as the Sun's Smile. It was the smile of well-earned rest. Hence is the birth of the Aspects: that in Yahweh's bored stupor, he entered the state of flow, and a portion of himself was instilled in the wilds. The Aspects took it upon themselves in the nature of life to create new life while he slept, and thus were born the creatures that stride the world. Then a lot happened, and pretty much, tons of people got made by Aenguls, Daemons, the Aspects, evolution (Yahweh's least favorite of these methods), and the Void. Fast forward a few hundred years and you are met with the first true Age of the world. In those days, the globe was called Aegis. Dwarves excavated precious minerals from under roads, and Men constructed relatively unsophisticated architecture. It was good. But that all changed when Iblees attacked, and with them, the Undead. You see, the Aenguls and Daemons had a bit of a familial dispute. They resolved to use Aegis as their chessboard. It was then that in his wisdom; wishing not to favor any child; Yahweh took the form of an elderly wizard named Blunderless, for he made no mistakes in the advising of the mortal races in the Undead wars. He led them to safety through a magical gate that in secret he wrought in the night. Through fire and flames they eventually emerged to what they believed was a new Realm, but was actually Yahweh's desperate attempt to cobble together a few hills and rivers so the peoples would not depart the Universe on their own accord. Many incarnations have been taken by our Lord, but none so important as the great Pugsy, our grace and savior, who outshone Blunderless in his life. Pugsy, known as Guraim, was an unassuming dwarf. Mad, some would say, but with a spark of intelligence and clarity that belied an inner lucidity. Of course, with a dinosaur for a pet, could he be anything but terribly, terribly sane? On one perfect autumn evening, when Guraim was walking his dinosaur in the fine city of Alras, he noticed a strange sight indeed inside of Dawn's Bakery. A crowd of the Undead! A moral character, this Guraim donned his gleaming iron armor, took up his simple wooden sword, and laid about him within the corrupt place. His dinosaur bellowed to distract his foes. Unfortunately, after a count of at least ten slain foes, he was felled. The name of Pugsy now rings across the ages in the annals of history. Yahweh has decided recently to take a step away from the world, and just relax. He probably won't be back any time soon. The cosmic bar he designed is rather attractive.