Brokencrowe

Moved to Denied Forum

Denied. Your definition of meta-game is somewhat short, please expand upon it and demonstrate clear understanding of the term. Your definition of power-gaming is incorrect, a forum search should clear up any confusion. Please have an extensive answer that demonstrates clear understanding of the term. Your biography meets the minimum length requirement, but does little to give a clear image of where your character is, or where she is going. The physical description was nice, but I have a very vague sense of who she is, and what her personality is. What are her faults? Where did she live? You need to incorporate more lore-related information into your biography, to demonstrate you've read and understand the lore. The first and second open response questions are about the length we are looking for in each of them, however your scenario seems slightly over powered in the first, but it is a stealthy arrow attack so I am uncertain. The rest feel oddly off center, and far too short. The open response questions are your opportunity to give a clear depiction of how you are going to roleplay your character. I just want to thank you for using both the proper format and prettying up the application with colored sub-headings and nicely spaced text, it made it an easy read; most applicants just copy and paste the form without so much as separating the questions from the answers which results in a perilous journey; so I much enjoyed your application for this reason alone. Reach for something great and amazing, you should have fun making your application as it is your chance to clearly define your character! I wish you the utmost of luck. You will be allowed to reapply in twenty four hours, if you have any questions regarding your application feel free to drop a PM in my inbox. Good luck! -Brokencrowe

Moved to Denied Forum

Denied. Please look up and define meta and power-gaming, do not guess, put the effort in and research the terms. You will not be allowed onto the server unless you have clear understanding of both. Your definition of roleplaying could also be expanded upon. In your biography I am not sure if Aegisorun is a real town in Lord of the Craft, if so I am sorry, but this denial still stands. I do not think putting redstone in one's eye allows for sight. Computers do not exist in Lord of the Craft. Your biography is good, needs a bit more expansion at the end, but very brief. You need to edit and remove the bits above, and it'll be one of the better one's I've read. Very clever idea. Please post a proper image of your skin, not the texture, but an image of the skin. Open up your game and hit F5 and snap a screenshot. Your open response questions need to be expanded, they are too short, and do not clearly show your off your character or your ability to roleplay. Open response questions are your opportunity to show off your skills as a roleplayer, but not only that they give us, the application team, a first taste of your character and how he will react to these situations. Take advantage of that. You will be allowed to reapply in twenty four hours, if you have any questions regarding your application feel free to drop a PM in my inbox. Good luck! -Brokencrowe

Moved to Denied Forum

Denied. Your definition of roleplaying is very vague, please add more to it, and demonstrate clear understanding of that term. Your definition of metagaming is an example and not a proper definition. Your example of powergaming is underdeveloped and unclear, please flesh it out. Your biography is brief, does not contain any lore-related material and does not give me a clear image of who your character is, why she is that way, and where she came from. Please add more to this, and make the character come to life! You skipped one of the open response questions. Your open response questions need expansion, at least one detailed paragraph is what we're looking for in each. Also please try to give a clear depiction of who your character is, and how she'd act in a full roleplay manner. This is your opportunity to show her off to us, the application team, and give us a first taste of your roleplay skills. You will be allowed to reapply in twenty four hours, if you have any questions regarding your application feel free to drop a PM in my inbox. Good luck! -Brokencrowe

Moved to Denied Forum

Denied. Please edit your application for grammatical and spelling mistakes. Your definition of roleplaying could use some expansion and is somewhat unclear. Your definitions of meta and power-gaming could use some expansion and are unclear as well. You do not demonstrate clear understanding of either. Your biography has many grammatical errors which makes it difficult for to figure our what goes where. Depending on how you read it, you have several different things going on here. You display mild signs of villainy, but I am not sure if that is you, or the bad grammar. Regardless, any villainous action is against the rules unless you have applied for and have an accepted villain application. Which you are not allowed to apply for until one week after being accepted into the server. If you didn't mean to display any signs of villainy and this was just a simply miss read on my part due to your lack of punctuation in some areas, I apologize, but the denial still stands. Your open response questions need expansion and should be written in full roleplay. You need to clearly express who your character is and how he will act in these situations, this is your opportunity to give us, the application team, a first taste of your character, and how you will roleplay him. One final thing, your application is somewhat messy and appears as a wall of text, I had to take extra time to read it because of the poor formatting, and what I mean by that is, your headings aren't bolded, your text kind of runs together, you have no spaces in between questions and answers.. An so on and so on. However, not vital, makes me and other application teams happy, and far less grumpy while reading your application. You seem to be on the right track, just push yourself a little bit more, and aim for greatness. Make something spectacular, you cannot just slip through the cracks doing the bare minimum. Make something worthwhile, and prove that you have what it takes to be a roleplayer and a part of this server. Thank you for applying! You will be allowed to reapply in twenty four hours, if you have any questions regarding your application feel free to drop a PM in my inbox. Good luck! -Brokencrowe

Moved to Denied Forum

Denied. Your definitions of roleplaying, meta and power-gaming are too short, you need to clearly demonstrate your understanding of these concepts. Although you have cleared up a lot of the confusion in your biography it still feels off in some areas, but that is probably due to the punctuation. Your application overall needs to be edited for grammatical errors, please put effort into this. You said yourself in your application that you tend to forget periods, and such, well you are conscious of it, so fix it. Your open response questions need to be expanded upon, and edited for grammar. Please don't hold back on these, these are a chance for you to show off your roleplaying abilities, and gives us the first taste of your roleplay and your character! You will be allowed to reapply in twenty four hours, if you have any questions regarding your application feel free to drop a PM in my inbox. Good luck! -Brokencrowe

Moved to Denied Forum

Denied. However correct, and not overly vital to your applications acceptance, your definition of roleplaying is somewhat awkward. I'd like to see it fixed, but again not overly vital. Your definitions of meta and power-gaming, again seemingly correct, but you fail to demonstrate true understanding; perhaps give examples along with your definition. Your biography breaks lore somewhat, and overly doesn't have enough lore-related material. You mention one city, and one race; and I don't find it realistic for that race to be teaching you the way of archery, but that isn't what I am focusing on. You need to explain how you got from Aegis to Asulon if you started in Malinor, as well as, sprinkling in more lore-related material to prove to me that you've read the lore. Your biography is also a tad bit confusing to read, I can't tell what you're saying about your character in some instances. For example, is your character the hero, or continual mistaken for the hero? Either way, it needs to be expanded upon and fleshed out, and I need more information on your background. Your open response questions are rather short as well, and do not give a clear depiction of who your character is, how he'd react in this scenarios and how you are as a roleplayer. The open response questions are a fundamental part of the application, it is done to show off your prowess as a roleplayer, and it gives us, the application team a first glimpse of who your character is, and how you will portray him. Please be in depth! Also please remember to incorporate a certain amount of realism into the open response questions! You will be allowed to reapply in twenty four hours, if you have any questions regarding your application feel free to drop a PM in my inbox. Good luck! -Brokencrowe

Moved to Denied Forum

Denied. The application feels somewhat rushed. The grammar, spelling and word choices in some areas can be improved upon heavily. Your definition of roleplaying leaves me slightly confused, I think I know what you mean, but more clarity would be much appreciated. Your definition of power-gaming can certainly be expanded upon. Your biography is mixed, and leaves me again slightly confused, you weren't very clear about certain events, and ideas about your character. You could also certainly add a bit of lore-based material into it. Your open response questions albeit written in full roleplay, lack a certain amount of realism. You seem to be a bit over powered in the first one, and hobbits do not exist in Lord of the Craft. You can also improve upon the grammatical and spelling aspects here, as well. Your open response questions could do with some expansion as well. You seem to be on the right track. Good job so far, we just need a bit more from you. Overall, your application lacks a lot of the fundamental elements that define you as a roleplayer and a storyteller; my advice: read over the lore and incorporate it into your application, as well as making your open response questions more fluid, and realistic. You will be allowed to reapply in twenty four hours, if you have any questions regarding your application feel free to drop a PM in my inbox. Good luck! -Brokencrowe

Moved to Denied Forum

Denied. Your definition of roleplaying doesn't show true understanding, it needs to be fleshed out a bit more. You're nearly there! Your definition of powergaming could use some expansion as well. Your biography breaks lore, and breaks realism. I don't think turning into part tree is viable. Your application lacks a screenshot of your skin. Your open respsonse questions are lacking in depth and extended examples of how you would roleplay, and you just don't answer some of them, outright. You will be allowed to reapply in twenty four hours, if you have any questions regarding your application feel free to drop a PM in my inbox. Good luck! -Brokencrowe

Moved to Denied Forum

Denied. You did not define roleplay at all where you were asked for a definition. Your definition of power-gaming could be stretched further. You tie no lore-related information into your biography, and show minor acts of villainy, however they are quite mild. Your open response questions are sorely under-developed. You need to write these answers in full roleplay, and should aim to show off your character to his deepest details. Show us all his faults, and weaknesses, as well as all his strengths. You should make him feel real and offer us a glimpse into his life, and his way of doing things. This is your opportunity to show us your ability to roleplay and get a feel of who your character is and what he will do in these scenarios. Take full advantage of it. You will be allowed to reapply in three months time, if you have any questions regarding your application feel free to drop a PM in my inbox. -Brokencrowe

Moved to Denied Forum

I am deeply sorry for this but your application has been: Denied Your application has many small grammatical errors riddled about, but that is hardly the reason you were denied. Your powergaming definition is still wrong; where as your examples are extensive, but a bit confusing. Powergaming is subjecting others to roleplay scenarios that break realism. Powergaming is about the realism. For instance if I stab you in the stomach, and slash upward along your chest and you still go fighting strong without taking into consideration your wounds, that is power-gaming. If you can sprint long distances while wearing heavy iron armor, and not get fatigued that is a form of power-gaming. It goes far beyond that of a combat scenario. Where as if it lays inside of the combat scenario you cannot just assume your actions will one hundred percent successful or vice versa, you must take into consideration your character's faults and missgivings, and assume you won't succeed all the time. Your biography is mixed, you should definitely describe how you got to Asulon if you started in Aegis. And of course include more lore related material that ties into your story; for instance where you ended up in Asulon, and how you got there. Your open reponse questions are sorely under-developed. You need to write these answers in full roleplay, and should aim to show off your character to his deepest details. Show us all his faults, and missgivings, as well as all his strengths and good traits. You should make him feel real and offer us a glimpse into his life, and his way of doing things. This is your oppurtunity to show us your ability to roleplay and get a feel of who your character is and what he will do in these scenarios. You will be allowed to reapply in three months time, if you have any questions regarding your application feel free to drop a PM in my inbox. -Brokencrowe

Moved to Denied Forum

Denied. Please fix up some of the grammatical issues that lay across the application. Your definition of metagaming is somewhat skewed, perhaps do a forum search to clear up any confusion. You seem to be quite close, but still somewhat clunky. Your definition of powergaming is mixed as well, and I found it difficult to pull the definition out of your text. You biography needs more fleshing out, and lore-related material; also I cannot tell if you are roleplaying, or simply have bad grammar. Your open response questions are far too short! Please flesh them out and write them in full roleplay. The open response questions give you the opportunity to show us, the application team members, that you have what it takes to be a part of our server. You show off your roleplaying skills, and give us a clear depiction of who your character is and how he would act in the given scenarios. You will be allowed to reapply in twenty four hours, if you have any questions regarding your application feel free to drop a PM in my inbox. Good luck! -Brokencrowe

Moved to Denied Forum

Denied. Your definition for roleplaying seems a bit awkward, perhaps more clarity is in order. Your definition for meta-gaming albeit correct could use some expanding upon, provide detailed examples on top of the definition. Your definition of power-gaming seems rather mixed. Perhaps a forum search, and a re-wording is in order. Biography appears as a wall of text, and is painful to read. Please break it up some, with paragraphs. Please bring in more lore related information into your biography, prove to me you read the lore. Your open response questions are far too short, please expand upon them and write them in full roleplay. Show off your character, and his personality, show us how you would roleplay in these scenarios. The open reponse questions are there for you to leave an impression of who your character is and how he will act. Don't pass up such an oppurtunity. You will be allowed to reapply in twenty four hours, if you have any questions regarding your application feel free to drop a PM in my inbox. Good luck! -Brokencrowe

Brokencrowe's Guide to writing a meaningful and lore-based Biography: The biography is probably the second most intimidating thing to tackle when writing your Lord of the Craft white list application. The open response question coming first, of course. The biography should be at least two paragraphs long, but often times would benefit from being much longer, I find it hard to contain all there is to know about my character in two tiny paragraphs. The first step is getting to know your character, perhaps brain storm many ideas that surround your character; or my method just start writing. Organization can come later. By no means go into the application writing process blindly, you should have fairly strong grasp on who your character is, and where you want to take him prior to even reaching the biography writing step. The next step is to write the actual biography, which should include a history of your character, which should be a highly detailed account of his life, and mostly his personality. The biography is basically telling us, the application team, why your character is the way he is going to be upon entering the world of Asulon. You should also include your characters faults and quirks, and a reasoning behind them. For example: Tomas has a nervous habit of biting his nails, this resulted from when his parents fought openly in the household, when he was a mere lad. Okay, we can go deeper, why were they fighting? They were fighting over Tomas' future! The mother wants to send him off to trade school, and the father wants to have him work at the family farm. Suddenly you went from nothing, to Tomas living on a farm. This is a common way of building a character working off existing ideas, and bouncing them back and forth.This is when we reach another important aspect of your application, the lore incorporation. This step is done to show us, the application team, that you have read and understand the lore of the realm. This lore can be found here: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/wiki/wikka.php?wakka=HomePage This is the Lord of the Craft Wiki, it contains all the information regarding the lore and rules and places inside of Asulon, you should read this in depth, and thoroughly and apply these factors to your application. Now, what better way to wrap this up than by ending with an example. I am going to write Tomas' biography from his perspective to add a spin to it, to show off the various way you can write a biography, not simply just in the third person. Notice how I brought random bits lore and places in throughout the entire biography, do note that it doesn't have to be in this format, it doesn't have to be done in journal entries, or first person. In fact it can be done in third person. I was just find it easier to dive into my character somewhat when I speak from his voice. The point being, I've brought in seemingly useless tid-bits from the world of Aegis and Asulon and ended up making a more powerful biography, because I have a clear image of the world I am entering and the feel of my character in this said world. I hope this helped! And good luck! With much Love, -Brokencrowe