Nefarious Aus Shitpost

Based Hiebe +1 possibly one of the best and most dedicated manbearpigs for the job.

 

You're a horrid troll and you're not a good role model for new players.

 

Sums up my opinions on the man.

+1, Skippy for GOD AT.

Urguan looks like an upside down Ottoman Empire from EUIV.

John Vilcan sits back in his chair after hearing the news, wondering why house Vilcan was not in the poll, or even that no-one mentioned a vote to him

"Heartlander filth can make stay in heartlander filth. Leave Raev alone!" yells Boleslaw out the window to no one in particular.

"Vote for anyone that isn't an Irongrinder."

"Ah for one agree with the Grandaxe, go sodomize yourself with a cactus.

A large one."

"Ah'd vote for you kinsman, but me first priority is to keep certain traitors off the throne..."

Place an X next to the candidate of your choice.

Your Name ((RP and MC)): Bael Tunnelsmasher [[bipolar_Juice]]

Race: Dworf

Balek Irongut ((Hobolympic)): X

Zahrer Irongrinder ((Josh3738)):

Ognar Grandaxe ((Meanking)): 

Dizzy Irongrinder ((Dizzy771)):

However, should there be a tie between either Ognar and one of the Iron-filth, my vote goes to Ognar.

"Ah'll die before ah see a treacherous Irongrinder on the throne again!"

^^^this^^^ Please. Everyone. Stop. This has turned into Borat 2.

Naw come on guys, let the children have their fun.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rY0WxgSXdEE

"...what is a Khaz'O'Khentrumm?" asks Bael, seeking the spellchecker. "But on the other 'and, we be down another king and another 'eretic; pfft; atleast 'e lasted longer then Kjell's brat, ah'll give 'im that."

"Indeed, which **** stated we reformed in Kalos?"

There appears to be a clan missing, a certain Nastrada Clan

The "Nastrada Clan" has no genealogy and has no known descent from Urguan. Post your descent and it gets put up.

That being said the Tunnelsmasher line is looking pretty empty.

Bryk Tunnelsmasher, son of Sorkvild Tunnelsmasher [zevandir]

Carth Tunnelsmasher, son of Ralor Tunnelsmasher [italian_assassin]

Idius Tunnelsmasher, son of Bael Tunnelsmasher [taito999]

Kienherst Tunnelsmasher, son of Sorkvild Tunnelsmasher [spiritoftheram]

Kevo Tunnelsmasher, son of Ralor Tunnelsmasher [xiryks]

Gigolo Tunnelsmasher, son of Bael Tunnelsmasher [_snowshovel]

and also Kairn Irongut, currently listed as a son of Morkas Irongut, is actually the son of Bael Tunnelsmasher (although he uses the Irongut name).

Bael Tunnelsmasher would like to request an urn for him to keep his sons yimmya in :(

[[ Bipolar_Juice ]]

"My clan is not even listed... racist..."

High Elven Genocide

So elfski can be free

Make grab of them by nipples

and string them from a tree

To be sung to the tune of "In My Country There Is Problem"

"By the Gods, that prestige scroll is slander..." says the shady dworf.

" 'E started 'oot as a king until 'is conquest which formed tae Urguan Empire, an' 'im gainin' 'is title as emperor. Still one reign hooeva'."

"walkin' frew an abandoned town an' claimin' it is 'ardly a "conquest"" says shady dwarf

a mysterious bael flies in dropping a magical copy of some book he obtained way back when which is sort of but not really relevant before he flies off from lotc again to locate some cajna

"been sittin' on that one a wee bit too long" states the magical dworf before he disappears in a eye-opening array of fireworks and salami

<10:06:39> "Cracker": (you find this journal by Hildr Dawnsworn, the archbishop who made Kjell a Paragon. )


*Most of the pages are worn out and burnt, making them illegible and useless. One entry remains fairly clear however. You turn to one page*


( If you need more entries, just let me know. Just some RP evidence that Hiebe can stumble upon, since the map is wiped the book is lost. )
<10:06:53> "Cracker": ( Rply if they didn't destroy Asulon map, it would be found in the old Dawnsworn keep in Dawnstead (Tyrion's old mead village). If Hiebe is trying to incriminate Kjell, you can just RP remembering that Hildr was the priestess who made Kjell a paragon, and go searching through her abandoned stuff in dawnstead)


*Hiebe flips through the journal, scanning intently trying to find more clues. He stumbles on some older entries*


______________________________________


To de' Holy ones,
<10:06:59> "Cracker": This bleedin Kjell tiring me soul. He calls himself a paragon when he acts as a tyrant and meddles the dwarves, bringing them back to the stone they came by killin em and workin' em to death....


I spoke widda few udder clan-lords. Da grandaxes under Morgrim follow me whim, think that Kjell also be a looney-toon. Even wrote a lil' poster.


http://www.lordofthe...__1#entry404775


Hope we can crush det crazy and gain some freedom, otherwise da dwarves'll drive to da ground.


- High Priestess Hildr Dawnsworn


_________________________________________________


To da Holy Gods,
<10:07:05> "Cracker":

Piss'on em beards! We've got the other clans riling their arms to fight us off. This nae end well, they'll chop us by our beard n' breast calling us disloyal kin. First Kjell sides wid dem cheatin' Starbreakers who lead under a feckin brainless golem and now dis...


Kjell got us by de' pick, ruthless un. We've got nae a choice but to surrender.


But, da bloody bloke fake-Paragon Kjell says we can say we were just trying te stage a fake rebellion to see if any real rebellious ones exist, if I do as he say...


Holy Gods, give me strength. We'll see what he up to.


- High Priestess Hildr Dawnsworn


_____________________________________


To all de' Holy Ones,
<10:07:13> "Cracker": In return for making Kjell the Paragon, he's agreed to rid me of me former war crimes, and even give me a third of the dwarven lands to preserve de cult of Dawnsworn. Bloody bloke, greedy scum. Can't do nothing except suck up his offer, otherwise I'll be hanged along with me clan. The land helps us recover from tis humiliating attempt at rebellion.


Kjell nae even slew a dragon before or done any of his fancy pants ideas...bunch o' hogwash. Just wants te undeniably rule. But until me clan can recover from this loss we can nae do anything but grit our teeth at tis bastard. If I nae make him paragon, then me bloodline and the true gods'll be lost in the fire of war. If I make him paragon, at least me can later go and tell the truth in time to appease the gods and rid of his power.


Anywai, best keep a move on things.
<10:07:23> "Cracker":  other dwarves givin me a sickle-eye, thinking me's a traitor. The bog needs tendin' too


- High Priestess Hildr Dawnsworn

"Woman make say she is virgin to escape wrath of authority for making henoius crime of fornication! Child is not messiah, child is bastard of **** and village man. Woman make say of many dumb thing to make escape of punishment!" exclaims Boleslaw the Rvse.

*smirks and sends bird!

"On-ya Corbett, good to see the gang remembers its lessons!" says Old Wolvengard Officer Bael

Baal'Lur prepares. If he isn't absolutely trashed IRL after Saturday night...

"Man make hire of dwarf, yes?"

Bael writes note:

Government of the Dwarves lost much of its luster with the elections of a few weak, corrupt or otherwise inept kings. During this point the Lord-Electors of the Kingdom pushed to take authority from the King and it to themselves. Prior to this, the elective monarchy of the Dwarves was quite effective, with almost absolute power in the King, before the Crowns power was effectively curbed by its electors (it must be noted this was originally done to ensure an inept king would not cause damage to the kingdom, it only became a grab for personal powers and privileges later on).

Also should be noted that Oren has the most internal conflict as it has the largest aristocratic group of all the nations; and much of the time, the aristocracy has differing agendas to the reigning ruler, which would be a result of a great amount of strife. I believe Oren would have been at its strongest during the early stages of the Second Empire when the nobility had been purged for the most part, as perceived power is often the motivator to rebellion.

- Bael B. Tunnelsmasher

Bael looks at the promotions and smells nepotism.

Bael then looks at the bottom of the parchment... "COMIC SAAAAAANS!"