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Josie_Exotic
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Posts posted by Josie_Exotic
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Who is your favorite U.S. president (alive or dead)?
1 -
[!] A formal letter is stapled to the bulletin board. The edges of the thick paper are neatly scalloped and have been carefully decorated with flowers and lace. (( See https://gyazo.com/ea456ef5646f8d9ffe8731dd90070272 ))
It is with great pleasure that I invite you all to the event of the season.
A grand dinner party will be hosted at the Peregrin estate.
May all halflings come to enjoy a carefully curated 5-course meal experience,
complete with drink, music, and laughter.
The dinner will begin in the afternoon ((3 PM EST)) on the upcoming Wee Tuesday ((March 5)) and will carry on well into the evening hours.
Please arrive in your best formal attire and leave shovels at the door.
Each course will be paired with a wine/ale/Peregrin lemonade!
Bigguns are "welcome" to attend as servers and busboys. All bigguns worth their tremendous weight
will be compensated with a meal and a bottle of ale,
((All are welcome. Feel free to pop in the burrow any time between 3 PM and 6 PM EST))
Signed,
Jo Peregrin
8 -
Jo encounters the article somehow, her brows furrowing as she scans the page. "Ah, I know ah use fer this," she nods and shuffles out of her burrow and towards the village outhouse, paper in hand.
9 -
A sleeping Onelia lays in a flowerbed, flask in hand and drool trailing down the side of her cheek. A pamphlet flutters in the wind, landing open on the wee lass' face. She jumps up, flailing in a sort of fighting response before catching the pamphlet and pulling it open in front of her. She grunts, her slanted gaze trailing across the paper, "Some wee folk ough' ter be pu' downnn..." she groans before crumpling the paper up and clumsily moving to her feet. "Ah can't 'ave 'is trash litterin' me garden," she lazily grumbles, taking a swig from her flask before turning to stumble through the doorway of her burrow, where it can be presumed that she would throw the trash writing into her fireplace.
7 -
[!] A new flyer hangs across the noticeboard, a poll box nailed neatly below.
Nominate
-Knoxville's-
First Sheriff!
With Knoxville's new boom in population, I find myself unable to keep up with the growing rate of crime.
Nominate a sheriff, today, who will enforce the laws of Knoxville, moderate shogging tournaments, and keep a select few wee criminals from messing my lawn.
The responsibilities are as follows:
- Enforces the laws of Knoxville in a peaceful, non-biggun way. The wee way.
- Follows the laws of Knoxville without fail
- Works with the mayor to devise re-education curriculum
- Arranges a jury for any wee folk requesting trial
- Is a proper wee person with outstanding respect for my lawn
Please drop any and all nominations in the box below.
With appreciation for the folks that have built this village,
Signed,
(( Please have all nominations in by the end of June 10th ))
8 -
Knoxville Laws
Notice: Failure to abide by these laws may result in consequences including, but not limited to, jail time, community service, or even public shaming.
1. Biggun weapons are strictly forbidden unless they are used for day to day tasks, such as cooking or building, and not ever used in a violent manner.
Shovels are allowed, as they do not carry a history of biggun violence.
2. Stealing from other members of the community is not allowed.
3. No locks on doors or chests. Our community is built off of trust between neighbors.
4. It is mandatory for wee folk to bathe at LEAST once a week. If your neighbors can smell you, it's time for a bath.
5. Bigguns may not acquire a home in the village. The village is for the wee.
6. Murder is strictly forbidden amongst ALL individuals.
7. Assault is forbidden unless used in defense of a biggun.
8. Trial will be held for any wee criminal that feels they have been wrongly accused.
9. A mayor will act as the figurehead for Knoxville happenings and will be elected once every 8 years ((2 months)). Mayors are not all-powerful and are implemented specifically to deal with foreign relations and to uphold the standards set forth in this list.
10. A sheriff will be elected once every 8 years alongside the mayor. Sheriffs are the leaders of the sheriff department and act solely to enforce these laws.
11. Mina must never be used in the village.
12. Improper wee folk will not be tolerated. Impropers will either be shunned or re-educated to better integrate into halfling society. Improper behaviors include wearing shoes, living with bigguns, carrying biggun weapons, using mina in or outside of the village, and disobeying the law.
13. Change must never, under any circumstance, be acceptable.
A drawing, for the wee folk who cannot read.
9 -
(( "This was only made worse by Onelia’s pro-Haelun’or stance. For as much as she disliked bigguns, she didn’t seem to have any problem with hopping into Haelun’or’s pocket." Any Haelun'or RP I had at that time was voided other than one meeting Onelia and Kerra had, where she told them she didn't need biggun help. Onelia dislikes all bigguns and never blatantly said anything about Haelun'or to you or the other halflings. I did say things OOCly about land offers if that's what you're talking about? This seems kind of like meta-game and I'd appreciate that you edited it or at least quoted the RP that gave Greta this impression. :) Thanks. ))
3 -
{ Fire Department Application }
((MC Name: josie_exotic))
Name: Onelia Peregrin
Age: 60
Mailing Address: 1 Cherry Lane
Why do you want to be on the Fire Department?: I would like to join the Fire Department to keep our grass green and untouched by fire.
Any other comments?: I've seen some fire safety violations throughout the village that may be worth addressing.
1 -
[!] A new poster is pasted across the village noticeboard, announcing that there is a new fire chief in town.
OFFICIAL
~FIRE CHIEF~
PERRY OVERHILL
1815
It is with great honor that I announce that the winner of the fire chief elections is none other than Mister Perry Overhill.
From here on out, the fire chief elections will be held immediately after the announcement of the new elders, as not to interfere with the elder elections.
Along with this, in the future elections, polls will be open for 2 elven days before the announcement of a new fire chief.
Anybody who wishes to apply for a position on the fire department is welcome to fill out an application and place it in the fire department mail box!
{ Fire Department Application }
((MC Name: ))
Name:
Age:
Mailing Address:
Why do you want to be on the Fire Department?:
Any other comments?:
Mister Overhill will now be in charge of accepting and arranging the positions on the fire department. May he achieve great success with this new position.
Signed,
((Respond to this post with Fire Department applications and I'll force ChefMiguel (Perry) to look at it!))
8 -
5 hours ago, teawithbee said:
The Ballot:
((MC Name: josie_exotic ))
Name: Onelia PeregrinVote for Elder:
James Peregrin (X)
Greta Goodbarrel (X)
Filibert Applefoot (X)
Jordan Applebottom ()
Winter May Gardner ()3 -
+1 Don't stop a race that you would have fun playing from being made just because you think it ~might~ die off. I would relive MANY of my good experiences even if they had tragic endings. Also maybe just play the race and it won't be an issue? lol. Also shelve humans.
3 -
2 minutes ago, Rioling said:
bread
^Rio posing for their year-book photo. Say yeast! *Snap*
Rio embodies strawberry bread because pink.
Pros:
-Strawberries are the best berry, right next to raspberries.
-Is sweet in bread context
-Nommy af
Cons:
-Diabetes
-Looks like they oppress poor people
1 -
[!] A new poster is pasted across the Bramblebury Noticeboard, directly above a new, much shinier ballot-box!
Fire-Chief
Elections of 1811!
![Dia de muertos - Cempasuchil divider [F2U]](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/4e8cf8a4-d644-4157-bb2b-35a30b56b2d1/dbsjoiy-a0dc5a12-726e-4fc9-9f6e-325ac868c4bf.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOiIsImlzcyI6InVybjphcHA6Iiwib2JqIjpbW3sicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvNGU4Y2Y4YTQtZDY0NC00MTU3LWJiMmItMzVhMzBiNTZiMmQxXC9kYnNqb2l5LWEwZGM1YTEyLTcyNmUtNGZjOS05ZjZlLTMyNWFjODY4YzRiZi5wbmcifV1dLCJhdWQiOlsidXJuOnNlcnZpY2U6ZmlsZS5kb3dubG9hZCJdfQ.0PRdbrZu5zTM3JTcdKjgCQnm50DE5VUXTsKmYWTqVa4)
The Fire Chief of your choosing will remain in position for the next four years! If their position is not contested with the nomination of another Fire Chief in four years, they will repeat the term until a new nomination is brought forward. Likewise, the Fire Chief reserves the right to step down and hand their position off to another member of the Fire Department.
Once elected, a Fire Chief will be in charge of managing the intake of new members of the fire department, assisting in crime scene investigation, and, most importantly, putting out fires.
~
Nominees:
James Peregrin
Perry Overhill
Orlando Otterbowl
~
((Vote here! ----> https://forms.gle/TQCVY8DBN4VPeVcV9 ))
Signed,
8 -
[!] A poster is nailed to the Bramblebury noticeboard, directly above a poll-box.
The Official
-Bramblebury-
Fire Department
1810
As elders of Bramblebury, it is our duty to ensure the safety and well-being of Bramblebury's wee.
With this in mind, we have commissioned the building of a fire department, to protect folks from the devastation
and destruction caused by accidental fires, wildfires, and fires caused by reckless bigguns.
We are proud to announce that, as of the 13th of the Snow's Maiden, 1810,
the fire department stands complete on #2 Raspberry Row!
With the creation of the Bramblebury Fire Department, the village will need a group of valorous wee folk
to act as a team against the flaming infernos (of doom.)
The team will consist of 1 elected position, the Fire Chief, and 5 volunteer positions.
The responsibilities of the Bramblebury Fire Chief are as follows:
-Evaluate and accept new volunteers
-Assign roles and duties to teammates
-Arrange firefighter meetings and practice drills
-Save kittens [or wee folk] that have gotten themselves stuck in trees-Determines the source of the fire once it has been extinguished
-Extinguish fires throughout the village
The volunteer roles, assigned by fire chief, are as written below.
Bell-Ringer
-Rings the bell to alert the village and the rest of the fire department of a fire
Fire Inspector
-Inspects the scene to confirm the existence of a fire
Fire Expecter
-Examines the trends and similarities in past fires to predict future fires.
Bucket Boy
-Fills up buckets in preparation of the next fire
Fire-Peacer
-Establishes first contact with the fire via words of affirmation and support, politely asking it to leave.
While these roles will define day to day duties, it is the entire team's responsibility to extinguish fires and evacuate survivors. Drop any nomination for Fire Chief into the box below, as voting will begin in approximately 3 Elven days. Positions for volunteer fire-fighters will be filled after.
Signed,
12 -
The Ballot:
((MC Name: Josie_Exotic ))
Name: Onelia PeregrinVote for Elder:
Burt Hassenfort (x)
Onelia Peregrin (x)
Kerraline Goodbarrel (x)
Cyris Collingwood ()((Dunno if I'm supposed to vote because I'm a candidate but HERE.))
2 -
On 12/17/2020 at 3:02 PM, Spoons said:
hi
^A picture of Spoons staying organized with their Toast-It notes.
Spoons is the crouton because croutons are nommy.
Pros:
-Can eat in handfulls
-Excellent snack for the financial struggle
-Cronchy
-The only part of a salad worth eating
Cons:
-Will kidnap your family for no reason
2 -
5 hours ago, MyNameIsMason said:
How many types of bread are there?
^You bread my mind Mason! Here's a portrait I made of you.
Mason is cornbread and you cannot tell me otherwise.
Pros:
-Corny
-Easy to make
-Tastes pretty good
Cons:
-Corny
-Can be hard to swallow
2 hours ago, Devdog said:JOSIEEEE WHAT BREAD AM IIII
^I'm on a roll with these bread puns, Dev. Here's your yearbook photo!
Dev embodies the croissant because croissants are magical and so is Dev!
Pros:
-May contain chocolate!
-Light and fluffy!
-Will make you seem ~fancy~
Cons:
-A lil flaky but it's okay
-Expensive
4 -
8 hours ago, LATTE said:
hi what kind of bread am i
^A real photo of Latte that I took yeast-erday.
Latte embodies turtle bread because turtles are cute and bread is cute!
Pros:
-Loved by all
-Smol
-Thoughtful af
Cons:
-Hard to eat because I don't want to kill lil turtles
-Beady eyes that will stare into the depths of your soul
5 hours ago, Shoalstone said:pls
^A picture of Shoalstone getting popped by a boar. Butter luck next time!
Shoalstone embodies the belgian waffle which I have now classified as a bread!
Pros:
-Sweet and fluffy!
-Easily customizable and ~very~ interesting
-PRETTY
-Better than pancakes, which are not bread
Cons:
-Capable of murder
3 -
8 hours ago, SunnyBee said:
Alright josie im ready to be cyberbullied
Bless me with the knowledge of my breadness
^A real picture of Sunny thinking my bread puns have grown stale.
Sunny embodies cheesy breadsticks because I vibe with cheesy breadsticks!
Pros:
-Business on the outside, party on the inside
-Kinda cheesy
-Very satifsying
Cons:
-Sold at Pizza Hut
-Incapable of loving the lactose intolerant
1 -
3 hours ago, Roguechaotic said:
WHAT BREAD AM IIIIIIII!?
^Here is a picture of RogueChaotic rising to the occasion.
RogueChaotic got biscotti because I said so!
Pros:
-May contain chocolate!
-~Fancy~
-Offered in a wide variety of different styles/flavors!
Cons:
-Hard to bite into sometimes
-Could potentially kill somebody with a nut allergy
1 -
3 hours ago, frill said:
ask me what kind of threads should stop being made
^A photo of Frill at their latest child crustody hearing post-divorce.
Frill embodies the communion wafer!
Pros:
-A symbol of religion, sometimes
-Jesus skin
-Skinny legend
Cons:
-Caution: May ruin fun for the girls and gays!
3 -
4 hours ago, AccioRed said:
Bread poggies?
^A picture of AccioRed; a legend in the baking.
AccioRed embodies anpan because of their cute aesthetic and gooey, red insides!
Pros:
-Sweet on the inside!
-Adorable!
-You can pretend the red bean paste is the blood of your enemies!
-Unique!
Cons:
-Probably hard to make
2 -
17 hours ago, CalZium said:
i cant take anymore of these posts im at my limit
^A pic of Calzium thinking my bread puns are crumby.
Calzium represents fruitcake because they show up around the holidays for no reason!
Pros:
-Probably can be sweet
-Is a silly goose
-Fruity!
Cons:
-The grocery store versions can be dry
3 -
17 hours ago, Larry Shortoak said:
^Larry staying up past his breadtime.
The Shortoak embodies shortbread due to his creativity and neat aesthetic!
Pros:
-Tasty
-Has the aesthetic of hot cocoa and warm blankets on a cold winter night
-Beloved by grandmas everywhere
Cons:
-Short
-Hard to find
3
FILTH DISCOVERED IN BIGGUN TAVERNS
in The Halfling Realm of Dúnfarthing
Posted · Edited by Josie_Exotic
WEE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND SAFETY
ANNUAL INSPECTION REPORT
Two health inspectors travelled across biggun realms to ensure compliance with the strict wee health codes. Health codes exist to prevent the spread of disease and miasma.
Published here are the findings of our wee inspectors. Please consider these findings when drinking at your next local tavern.
RANKING SYSTEM
W- Wee Approved
A- Absolutely Spotless
B- Biggun Worthy
C- Crusty
D- Don't Go Here
F- FILTHY
HEALTH CODES AND REGULATIONS ARE AS FOLLOWS
1. CRITTERS- ESTABLISHMENTS SHOULD BE FREE OF ALL LIVESTOCK AND INFESTATION. IF ANIMALS (barring bigguns) ARE TO BE FOUND IN AN ESTABLISHMENT, MEASURES SHOULD BE TAKEN TO RID THEM TO COMPLY WITH HEALTH AND SAFETY REGULATION.
2. GENERAL CLEANLINESS
A. DRINKS AND FOOD SHOULD BE PROPERLY STORED. FOOD SHOULD NOT BE LEFT OUT UNCOVERED OR IT MAY GO STALE AND YUCKY. FOOD LEFT OUT IN TAVERNS ATTRACTS CRITTERS AND CONTRIBUTES TO A LASTING MIASMA THAT WILL CAUSE DISEASE.
B. COBWEBS AND DUST SHOULD BE ELIMINATED TO AVOID THE CLOGGED AIRWAYS AND POTENTIAL ILLNESS OF PATRONS.
C. MEATS SHOULD BE STORED IN A FREEZER TO ELIMINATE POTENTIAL MIASMA. MEAT IS PARTICULARLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO MIASMA, WHICH MAY SPREAD FASTER IN WARM AIR.
D. COUNTERS, TABLES, AND ALL OTHER SURFACES SHOULD BE WIPED CLEAN. DIRTY TABLES ARE YUCKY.
3. FIRE SAFETY
A. FIREPLACES SHOULD HAVE AN AIR VENT TO ELIMINATE SMOKE WITHIN AN ESTABLISHMENT.
B. TO PREVENT FIRESPREAD, FIREPLACES SHOULD BE WELL SURROUNDED WITH FIRE-PROOF MATERIALS (NOT WOOD.)
4. PLANTS
A. PLANTS SHOULD BE CONTAINED IN POTS TO PREVENT BUG INFESTATION.
B. PLANTS THAT PRODUCE EXCESSIVE POLLEN SHOULD BE REMOVED.
Health inspectors reserve the right to add additional point eliminations based on extenuating circumstances.
Any establishment that has been ranked has been entitled to a posted sign, if so desired.
HEALTH INSPECTION REPORTS
The Fairweather Pub
The pub has stale food left out in the pouring rain.
The fireplace provides no protection from unsafe fire. Smoke builds in the hearth. Perhaps this is an error in building structure.
Rats climb along the bookshelves. Spiders build cobwebs by the staircase. A fox resides atop a counter. This pub is littered with critters.
RANK: D
OLD Haense Tavern- SHUT DOWN DUE TO POOR HEALTH RATING
Uncovered drinks and food litter the dining area.
The fireplace is well-contained and has proper ventilation!
The kitchen has been cleaned and has a freezer to store meats!
A lone rat scurries across the floor!
The upper floors of the building have unrailed, dangerous holes.
RANK: D+
The Tipsy Tarchar (NEW "IMPROVED" AFTER SHUTDOWN)
The seat placement next to the dart board creates a safety hazard.
Drinks are left out in the open and unattended.
The fireplace exercises excellent fire safety.
RANK: B
Da Hungry Howler
A pig resides in the dining area. The pig appears well-kept and does not touch countertops.
Tables are void of excess food or drink.
Excellent fire safety.
General Notes: Tavern appears well-kept. There is an absence of exposed food or drink. The building is structurally sound and lacks fire hazards.
RANK: A
The Bouncing Bokolo
Wood surrounding the fireplace is cause for fire safety concerns.
The grill is clean.
The kitchen is void of exposed food/drink.
The main fireplace abides by fire regulations.
RANK: B+
The Watanabe Teahouse
Extra points will be credited due to the proper standards of foot cleanliness.
Customers are left to eat off of the ground. The ground looks to be clean, though. This is weird, but not a violation.
The kitchen appears well-kept and void of fire hazards.
RANK: A
Paddy's Pyre
Food is left out on the ground to mold and attract vermin.
The fireplace exhibits excellent fire safety.
Fish and meat are left out unattended/not given proper storage.
RANK: C+
The Drunker Delver
Rats climb about the cupboards!
Drinks are left unattended.
RANK: C+
Malna's Mayhem
Cleaned daily!
Clean counters.
Abides by fire safety protocol.
Proper designation of employee areas
Stores food safely!
RANK: WEE APPROVED
The Grub Bucket
Filthy counters!
Fungus grows along floorboards.
Meats left out to rot.
HORRENDOUS FIRE HAZARD- Oil left out for patrons to fall into. The following content may be sensitive to some viewers.
RANK: F
Amathine Tavern
Clean counters and floors
Fire safety hazards- Candles near curtains
Mediocre food storage
Excessive flora
Room for more table cleanliness.
RANK: C-
WARNING
THE FOLLOWING CONTENT DEPICTS NUMEROUS WEE RIGHTS VIOLATIONS.
PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION.
Norland Tavern
Upon visiting this tavern, my partner and I were berated by the biggun patrons. Not only were they uncooperative, but they held Phineas at knifepoint. Their failure to cooperate leaves us with the question of what filth lurks beyond their kitchen door. It is advised that due to the aggressive tendencies of the biggun patrons of this tavern, all wee refrain from visiting. - Jo Peregrin
A young biggun is left unattended and trying to touch patrons. HORRIFICALLY UNSANITARY!
RANK: F
FAILURE TO COMPLY
DANGER TO THE WEE
Haulun'or Tavern
Excessive flora
Food left out to rot
Livestock in the kitchen! A goat is chained to the fire! POSSIBLE ANIMAL CRUELTY. VIEW WITH CAUTION.
Sound fire safety in opposite fireplace.
A HALFLING PRISONER IS HELD ON THE SECOND FLOOR OF THIS TAVERN. HIS NAME IS JERRY AND THEY HAVE TAKEN BOTH HIS FAMILY NAME AND HIS RIGHTS TO SPEECH. FOLLOWING IMAGERY IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.
RANK: F
WEE RIGHTS VIOLATIONS
FREE THE WEE JERRY
Due to the necessity of health and safety throughout the realms, the Wee Department of Health and Safety is willing to re-review any tavern that expresses willing improvement. For a second chance, please contact Phineas Overhill-Weedsnatcher ((Hnan_T)) or Jo Peregrin ((josie_exotic)).
Documentation of Jerry has been passed to the Wee Bureau of Investigations and will be handled promptly. If you or a friend have any information about the wee fellow, please alert your nearest Halfling Authorities.