Josie_Exotic

WEE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND SAFETY ANNUAL INSPECTION REPORT Two health inspectors travelled across biggun realms to ensure compliance with the strict wee health codes. Health codes exist to prevent the spread of disease and miasma. Published here are the findings of our wee inspectors. Please consider these findings when drinking at your next local tavern. RANKING SYSTEM W- Wee Approved A- Absolutely Spotless B- Biggun Worthy C- Crusty D- Don't Go Here F- FILTHY HEALTH CODES AND REGULATIONS ARE AS FOLLOWS 1. CRITTERS- ESTABLISHMENTS SHOULD BE FREE OF ALL LIVESTOCK AND INFESTATION. IF ANIMALS (barring bigguns) ARE TO BE FOUND IN AN ESTABLISHMENT, MEASURES SHOULD BE TAKEN TO RID THEM TO COMPLY WITH HEALTH AND SAFETY REGULATION. 2. GENERAL CLEANLINESS A. DRINKS AND FOOD SHOULD BE PROPERLY STORED. FOOD SHOULD NOT BE LEFT OUT UNCOVERED OR IT MAY GO STALE AND YUCKY. FOOD LEFT OUT IN TAVERNS ATTRACTS CRITTERS AND CONTRIBUTES TO A LASTING MIASMA THAT WILL CAUSE DISEASE. B. COBWEBS AND DUST SHOULD BE ELIMINATED TO AVOID THE CLOGGED AIRWAYS AND POTENTIAL ILLNESS OF PATRONS. C. MEATS SHOULD BE STORED IN A FREEZER TO ELIMINATE POTENTIAL MIASMA. MEAT IS PARTICULARLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO MIASMA, WHICH MAY SPREAD FASTER IN WARM AIR. D. COUNTERS, TABLES, AND ALL OTHER SURFACES SHOULD BE WIPED CLEAN. DIRTY TABLES ARE YUCKY. 3. FIRE SAFETY A. FIREPLACES SHOULD HAVE AN AIR VENT TO ELIMINATE SMOKE WITHIN AN ESTABLISHMENT. B. TO PREVENT FIRESPREAD, FIREPLACES SHOULD BE WELL SURROUNDED WITH FIRE-PROOF MATERIALS (NOT WOOD.) 4. PLANTS A. PLANTS SHOULD BE CONTAINED IN POTS TO PREVENT BUG INFESTATION. B. PLANTS THAT PRODUCE EXCESSIVE POLLEN SHOULD BE REMOVED. Health inspectors reserve the right to add additional point eliminations based on extenuating circumstances. Any establishment that has been ranked has been entitled to a posted sign, if so desired. HEALTH INSPECTION REPORTS The Fairweather Pub OLD Haense Tavern- SHUT DOWN DUE TO POOR HEALTH RATING The Tipsy Tarchar (NEW "IMPROVED" AFTER SHUTDOWN) Da Hungry Howler The Bouncing Bokolo The Watanabe Teahouse Paddy's Pyre The Drunker Delver Malna's Mayhem The Grub Bucket Amathine Tavern WARNING THE FOLLOWING CONTENT DEPICTS NUMEROUS WEE RIGHTS VIOLATIONS. PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION. Norland Tavern Haulun'or Tavern Due to the necessity of health and safety throughout the realms, the Wee Department of Health and Safety is willing to re-review any tavern that expresses willing improvement. For a second chance, please contact Phineas Overhill-Weedsnatcher ((Hnan_T)) or Jo Peregrin ((josie_exotic)). Documentation of Jerry has been passed to the Wee Bureau of Investigations and will be handled promptly. If you or a friend have any information about the wee fellow, please alert your nearest Halfling Authorities.

Who is your favorite U.S. president (alive or dead)?

[!] A formal letter is stapled to the bulletin board. The edges of the thick paper are neatly scalloped and have been carefully decorated with flowers and lace. (( See https://gyazo.com/ea456ef5646f8d9ffe8731dd90070272 )) It is with great pleasure that I invite you all to the event of the season. A grand dinner party will be hosted at the Peregrin estate. May all halflings come to enjoy a carefully curated 5-course meal experience, complete with drink, music, and laughter. The dinner will begin in the afternoon ((3 PM EST)) on the upcoming Wee Tuesday ((March 5)) and will carry on well into the evening hours. Please arrive in your best formal attire and leave shovels at the door. Each course will be paired with a wine/ale/Peregrin lemonade! Bigguns are "welcome" to attend as servers and busboys. All bigguns worth their tremendous weight will be compensated with a meal and a bottle of ale, ((All are welcome. Feel free to pop in the burrow any time between 3 PM and 6 PM EST)) Signed, Jo Peregrin

Jo encounters the article somehow, her brows furrowing as she scans the page. "Ah, I know ah use fer this," she nods and shuffles out of her burrow and towards the village outhouse, paper in hand.

+1 Don't stop a race that you would have fun playing from being made just because you think it ~might~ die off. I would relive MANY of my good experiences even if they had tragic endings. Also maybe just play the race and it won't be an issue? lol. Also shelve humans.

^Rio posing for their year-book photo. Say yeast! *Snap* Rio embodies strawberry bread because pink. Pros: -Strawberries are the best berry, right next to raspberries. -Is sweet in bread context -Nommy af Cons: -Diabetes -Looks like they oppress poor people

^A picture of Spoons staying organized with their Toast-It notes. Spoons is the crouton because croutons are nommy. Pros: -Can eat in handfulls -Excellent snack for the financial struggle -Cronchy -The only part of a salad worth eating Cons: -Will kidnap your family for no reason

^You bread my mind Mason! Here's a portrait I made of you. Mason is cornbread and you cannot tell me otherwise. Pros: -Corny -Easy to make -Tastes pretty good Cons: -Corny -Can be hard to swallow ^I'm on a roll with these bread puns, Dev. Here's your yearbook photo! Dev embodies the croissant because croissants are magical and so is Dev! Pros: -May contain chocolate! -Light and fluffy! -Will make you seem ~fancy~ Cons: -A lil flaky but it's okay -Expensive

^A real photo of Latte that I took yeast-erday. Latte embodies turtle bread because turtles are cute and bread is cute! Pros: -Loved by all -Smol -Thoughtful af Cons: -Hard to eat because I don't want to kill lil turtles -Beady eyes that will stare into the depths of your soul ^A picture of Shoalstone getting popped by a boar. Butter luck next time! Shoalstone embodies the belgian waffle which I have now classified as a bread! Pros: -Sweet and fluffy! -Easily customizable and ~very~ interesting -PRETTY -Better than pancakes, which are not bread Cons: -Capable of murder

^A real picture of Sunny thinking my bread puns have grown stale. Sunny embodies cheesy breadsticks because I vibe with cheesy breadsticks! Pros: -Business on the outside, party on the inside -Kinda cheesy -Very satifsying Cons: -Sold at Pizza Hut -Incapable of loving the lactose intolerant