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Hearth

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    A message to the Wee-folk.

    in The Village of Bramblebury

    Posted

    [!] A simple parchment would be nailed to the notice-board, the handwriting on it would appear to be imperfect- but by no means rushed.

     

    ~x~

     

    My dear Gardners and Peregrins, Applebottoms and Applefoots, Mowoods, Greenholms, Sackvilles and Goodbarrels (and the many of you I have yet to formally meet); Many of you I am aware are rightfully concerned over the status of our Lord Knox and the events following the... undesirable outcome of the Knoxmas tree-decorating festival. While I wholeheartedly apologise for the abrupt end that came following the-- quarrel between myself and the being, I speak true when I say that my actions were just and necessary. The being claiming to be our dear Knox was in-fact merely another deceptive creature posing as he whom we hold dear in order to maintain influence over this world; and while it is true that he has been spoken to historically have aided us in our voyage to this beautiful land- the burning touch of Knoxscalibur that branded the fiend's face is proof enough that they are indeed not- and never were- our mighty Lord Knox...

     

    I know not where our beloved God dwells- or whether we shall be graced to see his form wander our village as in days of yore again- but I can speak with trueness in my heart that Knox's honour has surely been restored on this  fateful day; No longer will a false idol toy with his loyal followers- no longer will a false idol drink our booze and take what they please from our mighty-harvests- our Lord Knox's good name is now back in his own rightful hands, and I shall fight to keep it that way.

     

    Yours truly, King Cyris Collingwood.

     

    PS: No harm, nor cruel words are to be laid upon Miss Applebottom, while she may still press her faith unto this questionable figure- she is both legally and morally innocent in this.

     

    ~x~

     

     

     

    2

    WARNING: KNOX IS A DEMON

    in The Village of Bramblebury

    Posted

    "It woul' seem 'tat weh mus' repent- 'tis impostor 's seduced 'tose who call 'temselves loyal Knoxists... an 'tat cannae stand. Knox wills 'tat weh shall bring back 'is Lordship tae 'is rightful spot 's our beloveh'd god... Nae 'tis brutal fiend." Monologued the God King of Halfling-Kind upon reading the notice, before offering an simple nod of reaffirmation.

    2

    The Last Will of Hearth James Underson

    in Miscellany

    Posted

    To those it may concern:

     

    If you are reading this, then I have made the decision to end my life.

    The means of such I am currently unsure of, I’d vote to check a nearby river perhaps, hm?

    Either way, you can trust that I am, one hundred percent- Dead. Gone. Deceased.

     

    And in a way I suppose that could be considered unfortunate- I’m certain I have atleast another hundred years in me at the time of writing this. And I’m sure many would see such a decision as this to be a selfish act on my behalf- to those people I apologise, though my most utter sympathies go to my many many orphaned children.

    To remind you all that this is indeed a will: I am glad to announce that every single one of my material possessions shall be handed down to my youngest blood- Arlene Uialben-Underson.

    And the role of guild master shall be passed on to Blair Fester, my dearest concubine ally in my absence, of whom I entrust to relay this document to those it may concern:

     

    To the Dwarves of Urguan, I send forth my most sincere apologies- I shall not be joining you in your war effort.

    To the people of Thania, I wish you luck in your future endeavours, and leave to you my daughter Arlene, whom I shall entrust you to protect in my absence.

    To my Ex-wife Incadence, I leave to you the burden of a child. Enjoy yourself now~

    To Mika Uialben, I leave with you the knowledge that I have bedded your wife.

    To Captain Fay, I relieve you of any debt that was owed, entirely due to the fact that I will not be able to collect it.

    To Trade-King Corwin of Sutica, I leave to you the gift of relief- as well as the knowledge that Mystery was a superior trade monarch.

    To my Grand-daughter Anne, I leave my trusty Zweihander- the location of which I shall not be disclosing out of spite. Find it and it shall be yours- however the dead have better things to do than searching for lost relics, suck it.

    To my Eldest daughter Mhel, I leave a feeling of deep embarrassment, as-well as the knowledge that despite all that has come to distance us, I still hold you in great regard.

    I have prepared separate letters for matters deserving of my secrecy.

    In the odd occasion that my body is infact found, I request that I be buried at sea, one may find the blueprints of the vessel in which I wish to be contained within- underneath my living-room desk.

     

    To sign off- I leave you all with this:

    Though I shall be absent for whatever paths you all decide to take, know that I shall be watching over you all from beyond the void. And for those curious as to my reasoning behind such a drastic decision to end my life- I give the simple reason that my theory must have been flawed- and/or incorrect.

     

    -Kindest Regards- Hearth James Underson of Sutica. Knight of Courland, Royal Spymaster, Previous Guild Master of Rosewood, Doctor of the Athermoore, Ex-Shire Reeve of Dunshire, Guardian of the Crown, Tavernkeep of the Golden Moon, Slayer of the Cerulean Forktail, Master of fire Evocation, Swordsman, Bard, Knight of Knox, Tailor, Blacksmith, Author, Son of Geodarin and Laurelene Underson. Shagger of Mika’s Wife (and a fifth of the population of Sutica). Father of Arlene, Mhel, Bla- 

     

    [!] The document would end abruptly.

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