Hearth

A Pious Halfling King cackled at the declaration of the unknowing puppet of Iblees. "Ten' march 'pon our good Shire, dearest Callahan, let GOD, th' Great Farmer Billybob decoide the righteous." And with that, Cyris put his Aurum shovel to the grindstone.

"Well 'tat were ah load o' bullshite, wunnit?" A rather disappointed Halfling King mused at the news of Numendil's march against the Shire's allies- and the active support of those invading the very same peaceful wee-folk the Númenaranyë had vowed to protect. "Oi 'tought th' Oath o' ah Tar were supposed tae beh sacred 'er sumfin, specialleh tae t' Númenites."

The Weefolk Stand Tall In The Eternal Fight Against Darkness Transcribed with Crayon PREFACE For long have the Wee-Folk known peace under the watchful eyes of the Knights of Knox, it is now we are called to battle against the forces of evil, following revelations granted to us by the Aengul Zaqiel of the EVIL forces hiding among our friends, the Lurinites- with Sharpened Shovels and the Might of the Pumpkin Lord we shall purge the Serene State of Evil, we call upon the most noble Church of Canon and our Darkspawn hating grumpy neighbours to the South to aid us in this Quest. It is by our unity that darkness shall be purged from these most sacred lands that descendant kind call home. THE DECLARATION OF WAR ON THE DARKSPAWN DWELLING WITHIN LURIN'S WALLS. SHOULD THE CONDITIONS LISTED NOT BE MET BY THE END OF THE NEW PUMPKIN YEAR The Knights of Knox shall be granted the title of 'Protectors of Lurin' and shall be permitted to search each and every corner of the City to purge it of darkspawn, with or without the help of those called upon to aid us in this most holy crusade. Lurin shall trade the tile they have settled within the Cherry-Blossoms for that which Dunwen holds in the Floodplains so that each realm may have consistent scenery, thus increasing the land value of properties within our great nations. A Cathedral befitting the almighty GOD, Billybob shall be erected in place of the Vassal of Barnsley, where those of the Canon and Halfling sects of the Church may worship unhindered by any of the Lurinite people. Lurin shall change the blue hues in it's banner to a slightly lighter one so that it is less expensive to mass produce due to the availabilities of dyes. RETURN WITH THESE DEMANDS BY THE DAWN OF THE NEXT YEAR (2PM EST SUNDAY 22/11 2024 OR FACE THE UNRELENTING HOLY MIGHT OF KNOX'S STRONGEST SOLDIERS) Signed - His Majesty King Cyris Collingwood of the Square Table, Leader of the Knights of Knox.

To the Orcs of the Khanate -=+=- -=+=- In response to recent events- the assumed slaughter of our Thain and my bitch ex-wife- Magnolia Collingwood, at the peace-talks of which she was promised safe passage to in order to discuss the purging of the supposed darkspawn in our lands- the lack of a response to the peace treaty sent to the Khanate in which our Shaman presence would be increased to aid in the excursion of the aforementioned darkspawn that the Khan had claimed to be dwelling within our lands- and the kidnapping of halfling children painted to be dark mages- ah crime a child’s soul is incapable of performing; We the Weefolk now send to the Orcs of the Khanate our demands, should they fail to be met, they shall face a most embarrassing defeat at the hands of the Shire-fyrd and those that have sworn to protect our peace-loving, neutral Shiredom, they are as follows: The Khanate shall put aside this childlike, unoriginal reform and return to its historical and well-regarded title of Krugmar, to distance themselves from this unwarranted grievance against their historical allies and friends. The Elders of the Rexdom shall call a tournament amongst their own in order for a strong, honourable and incorruptible son of Krug to take the place of the word twisting elf-lover that currently sits at the helm of Orc-kind. An outpost for the Shaman-Lodge is to be constructed on the location of the Vikelan camp so that any darkspawn that may appear to terrorize our people can be purged with ease- and that communication between our peoples may be swifter. Any Vikelan accused of being darkspawn that is found on or off of the lands of Krugmar by any that bear the Rex’s banner is to face a fair and spirit-respecting trial at the hands of the Shaman-Lodge in which they are tested for the accusations put against them. The to-be Rexdom of Krugmar is to vow to never involve the Weefolk in their warpaths ever again, at the threat of dishonouring themselves- and is to scowl in the faces of others that would do the same to us. Upon the selection of a new, respectable Rex, a grand feast is to be held to both repair broken friendships caused by this pointless conflict- and to mourn those that it has taken. Any elf that did not hold the title of honourary prior to the selection of the current Rex is to be exiled from the Rexdom to seek refuge elsewhere, where they shan’t whisper ill lies in the ears of Lurak’s successor, whomever they shall be. The Men of Lorraine that have been terrorizing the halflings at the order of the Khan, kidnapping the innocent, slaughtering children- and robbing those simply minding their own business shall henceforth be banished from the lands of Krugmar until they seek penance for their actions before the eyes of Billybob and those they have wronged. Should the Men of Lorraine appear within the Shire with the intent of causing grief to the peace-loving Weefolk, they are to be hunted to the ends of Aevos by the honourable Orcs of Krugmar. The birch-forest land unlawfully claimed by the Orcs within the claim of Silasia is to be returned to those who had declared ownership prior to it’s settlement. Fulfilment of these demands shall unquestionably restore the friendship between our peoples, and any questions of the honour of those that call Krugmar home. We sincerely hope those among the Rexdom that still value the old ways, and still hold a sense of honour shall take these demands and ensure that they are acted upon. And to the Khan- if you dare march upon the lands of the Halflings, a defenseless and pacifistic people- the world shall see you as we now do- an honourless, warmongering, cowardly tyrant who would rather prop up his Human and Elf companions rather than enacting the will of the Spirits; And those that march with you shall find naught but a shovel shaped dent in their noggins. Yours, now and forever- King King Cyris James Collingwood the first, the second, Friend to the Lurs, the Ungris and to those among the Rexdom with an ounce of honour to their name.

"Tat' is just ah child, yeh gobshites." A rather tired Halfling King corrected.

The King of the Wee cracked his knuckles at the word of his bitch ex-wife's assumed slaughter at the hands of the grace-fallen Rexdom. "'Tem bastards d'nae know what's comin 'tere way- when ‘tem Orcs come at meh, Et'll take 10,000, 100,000 o’ ‘tem tae take meh do’on. So tha's how miniscule ye’ are tae meh soize, right. Meh stature o’ intelligence, character n’ body an er-..., Reverence in ‘tis realm. Nae man, ‘cause Oi’m gonnae do backflips, flourishin’, evereh’ting all t’ shoite, trenches, what’eer t’ fock trebuchets are, Ye’ dennae understan’ tat’ ye’re talking tae loike- a Blundermore o’ moi time, roigh’?. Loike oi’m a genius, Dragur level, Historeh book makeah. Ye’re gonnae be forgotten loike the dust in t’ sand when yer in th’ fecken Krug desert, an’ ‘’tere's an ‘undred million thousan’ billion sand grains, ye’re gonnae be one o’ ‘tose, and oi’m gonnae be ah statue erected in pure fecken aurum." And with that his shovel was thusly sharpened for use.

Your Dear Leader Speaks! "Good evening. Today, our fellow citizens, our way of life, and our very freedom come under attack in a series of deliberate and bad faith Orcish threats. Those demanded from us were in Vikela, before its fall; Butchers, Bakers, Candlestick Makers, Elves and Men; moms and dads, friends and neighbours. Thousands of descendants were suddenly displaced by evil, despicable acts of terror, others were slain where they stood. These acts of murder were intended to frighten the Eastern Alliance into chaos and retreat. But they have failed; our Union is strong. A great Alliance has been moved to defend a great people. These baseless threats may strike fear into the peace-loving Weefolk amongst us, but they cannot touch the foundation of Dúnwen. These brutes may have caused Vikela's walls to crumble, but they cannot dent the fine bluesteel that is the Halfling resolve. Dúnwen was targeted for attack because we're the brightest beacon for freedom and opportunity in the world, because we granted asylum to those who desperately needed it. And no one will keep that light from shining. Today, the East sees this evil for what it is, as the worst of Orcish nature. And we responded with the best of Dúnwen -- with the hospitality and kindness of the halflings. Our priority is to protect those who have been displaced and to take every precaution to protect our citizens at home and around the continent from further attacks. The functions of our Shiredom continue without interruption. Our Sheriff patrols day and night for the first sign of raiders. Our barns remain prosperous, and the Halfling economy will be open for business, as well. Dúnwen and her friends and allies join with all those who want peace and security in the world, and we stand together to win the war against Krugmar. Tonight, I ask for your prayers for all those who grieve, for the children whose worlds have been shattered, and for all whose sense of safety and security has been threatened. And I pray they will be comforted by a power greater than any of us, the benevolent embrace of Knox. This is a day when all peoples of the East from every walk of life unite in our resolve for justice and peace. Halfling kind has stood down enemies before, and we will do so this time. None of us will ever forget this day. Yet, we go forward to defend freedom and all that is good and just in our world." Thank you. Good night, and Knox bless Dúnwen.

A particularly stout King peered over the missive from his retirement home at Dúin's Shore. An amused smirk crossing his visage: "T'werth be wiyes tae pace kep'th midst thine neighbours. Blōd fædes pay'th many men t' great expense..."

The Grand Reformation Of the Empire of Men and Half-Men Proclaimed on the 9th of The Amber Cold, in the 175th year of the Second Age; By the Council of His Omnipotence Emperor King Cyris Collingwood the First, the Second. -=+=- It has come to the attention of his absolute supremacy King Cyris Collingwood I II that a fellow representative Empire of Man has arisen within Aevos, thus challenging his claim to absolute domain over the Race of Man. His excellency believes that sharing is caring, and would be wholly in favour of such a development- however. The exclusion of: The Sovereignty of Hyspia, The Kingdom of Norland, The Kingdom of Númendil, The Principality of Reinmar, The Principality of Vlachia and of course the Koyo-Kuni Shogunate from the Covenant of Man is rather impolite, if not mean-spirited. THUS His Majesty offers the following: I. An invitation to those left out to his own, better Empire, with greater benefits and more holidays than the Covenant. II. An invitation to those within the Covenant to any and all future parties, festivals or shindigs held by the Neo-Orenian Empire. III. An invitation to the League of Veletz, to reform itself as an independently governed territory of the Neo-Orenian Empire. IV. Packed Lunches to any and all that would seek to engage in a diplomatic mission with the Neo-Orenian Empire seeking an Alliance and/or Trade-Pact. -=+=- It is with these tidings that His Royal Absolute and Fair Highness bids those concerned, and those merely curious- adieu. -=- Signed - His Majesty Emperor King Cyris Collingwood the First, the Second. - Thain of Dunfarthing and her vassals, Prince in-Law of the Petra, Protector of the Wee, Lord of Greater Bramblebury, Bywater, Barnsley, Honeyhill and the Hillmen. Father of Foxes, Liberator of Frogtopia, Leader of the Merrymen, Slayer of Gods, The Oathbreaker, Grand Wizard of Bogwartz: School of Shamanism and Housemagery, Tamer of the Forest, Chairman of the League Of Super Best Friends, Wielder of most holy Knoxscalibur, Emperor of the Former Holy Orenian Empire of Bywater, Shogging Champion, Price Gouger, Guild Mason, Market Manipulator, Attorney at law, Rescuer of the Tar, Lord of Barnsley, Distributor of Golden Stars, Emperor of the Neo-Orenian Empire.

A proud halfling King began writing to his legal team.

https://youtu.be/S91wQbYYX3Q?si=oEruNTRwpBaZoXPv

A rather idle halfling King glanced up the the tear in the sky. "Oh aye, ye?" Before opting to pack up his pipe and light it up, willing the cataclysm would sort itself out.

Crest designed by @_RoyalCrafter_ Our History "Bring unto the realm halfling ire." These are the words of the crowned fox of the Collingwoods, a steadfast call to arms that echoed throughout the Kingdom of Haense when I, Cyris Collingwood, the first of his name- broke an oath to King Karl III in order to abandon the Shire of Honeyhill with the hope of granting my people, the Weefolk, a freedom they had not tasted since the evermore distant days of Dunshire. The lineage of the Collingwood family stretches back to the ancient days of Atlas, though then we took a different name. In those distant times, my great grandfather, Glenn Collingvine, a valiant Knight of Knox, found himself wounded and maimed, seeking refuge in the Dominion of Malin to escape the ruthless hordes of September. It was there, amidst the care of the elves who tended to his injuries, that he encountered and ultimately married a young Ame woman, my great-grandmother, Arleigh Ainawood. Their daughter, my grandmother Arlen Collingwood, remains a mysterious figure, her presence fading from historical records after her youth. It can be assumed that at some point in her life, she crossed paths with my grandfather, and together they cultivated my mother, from a patch of Pumpkins no less. It is said my mother was the spitting image of Knox himself, which raises several questions regarding her bone structure and general health- however, those are for another familial document; Through reasons that to this day evade me, she left when I was but a babe, leaving me in the care of my father, a distant, cold man- though protective of his own when it mattered; I miss him dearly. When I came of age the very avatar of the Pumpkin Lord himself appeared before me, on one of my frequent walks through the ever twisting brambled woodlands of Elvenesse- though what events transpired as a result of that fateful encounter can be found in the library under the 'Bramblebury' section. I do not regret the discourse my actions fueled- while to this day the Peregrins hold their grudges- we are under the control of Arugula's puppet no longer and even they cannot deny Knoxscalibur's aurum blade scorched its tainted hide, but I digress. Since the days of Honeyhill our family has flourished beyond simply myself and those before me- we have grown into something greater; As the records now stand we are the largest family in the Shire. Knox's magic flows through our veins stronger than ever, as does the knightly courage and honour of our ancestors; With these gifts at our side, the Shire shall know peace for centuries to come- under our crown, whomever's heavy head it shall rest upon… Our Virtues & Traditions The Collingwood family upholds the value of integrity above all else. For us, once a promise is made, it becomes an unbreakable commitment that we honour by any means necessary. Our family name is synonymous with unbroken trust, a quality that strengthens our resolve to fulfil Knox's will and safeguard the Weefolk. In our possession, we have heirlooms passed down by the head of our family, symbols to remind our successors of our legacy and the values they are expected to uphold. Our sigil, a fox adorned with a golden crown, represents our noble and resilient nature. We embrace the cunning and resourcefulness of the fox, embodying its traits as we navigate challenges. Its crown signifies our noble lineage and the Knox-given authority we wield with honour and integrity. Bravery, honour, and trustworthiness are the cornerstones of our character. We constantly strive to embody these virtues, guiding our actions and interactions. Through upholding these principles, we seek to create an environment where the Weefolk can flourish under our protection. Our ultimate goal is to foster a Shire that reflects our values and enables the growth and prosperity of those we hold dear. Our Faith Foremost and above all, the Collingwood family remains unwavering in their loyalty to the Pumpkin Lord, Knox. Amidst recent whispers painting the fiend Arugula as some supposed harbinger of justice, we raise our voices in defiance, declaring such notions as blasphemy. Let it be known to all that the Pumpkin Lord is the one true patron of the Weefolk, and no heretical Arugulean Cultists shall divert our unwavering commitment to this eternal truth. Our allegiance rests solely with Knox and Knox alone. May his shadowy radiance forever guide our steps and illuminate our path. Our Blood Excluding the many that have been adopted into our noble family of course; The Collingwoods have through countless generations clung to a few distinctive, physical traits that set us apart from our fellow weefolk. Our children are most commonly born with hair as black as the night and as thick as the sheaves that scatter Knox's golden wheat fields. Collingwoods possess irises of varied colours, as is reflected in our heraldic crest of silver, blue and gold. Our lineage boasts a delicately defined bone structure, a testament to the fairness of our most distant ame ancestors. Notably, even among the halflings, our shorter stature stands as a beacon of distinction, an enduring mark of our most proper halfling blood. These defining characteristics, interwoven into our bloodline by the hands of time, are treasured reminders of the indomitable spirit that courses through our veins. As the Collingwoods journey forth, may these traits continue to unify and distinguish us as a resilient and noble family. Our Heirlooms While our family has persisted for shorter a time than most, we have acquired many treasures and trinkets throughout our time in this realm, some simple keepsakes- others powerful magical artifacts that should never fall into the wrong hands. I, Cyris, feel it necessary to catalogue them- to ensure that they are not lost to history, or to theft. Knoxscalibur - The Shovel of our Kin, granted to I, Cyris, by the Pumpkin Lord Knox. It's Aurum blade has scorched the false idol's retched hide, and has slewn many more creatures of the night. May it serve my descendants well, for the world is vast and full of monsters. The Collingwood Crown - A trinket, and all I have to remember my mother by. It's origins are hence unknown, though it serves a symbol of our divine obligation to protect those that would call us royal. Frogtopia's Favour - A golden medallion, gifted by one of the founding chieftains of Frogtopia in the days of Honeyhill, following the victory against the Spider Queen by myself and the honorable Breasal Nimblefoot. A reminder of our friendship with both him, and the many frogs he- as frogkempt- protects. The Time Scythe - A dangerous and powerful relic, pried from the scheming hands of Watermelon-Joe, I daren't imagine what destruction could be wrought should it's nature be discovered by any that hold ill-will, hence it shall be kept from this record. The King's Shield - A personal keepsake from the Mori-Siege of Norland in Almaris, it held back many a blow as I lead the charge to take back the inner-chambers of the city's walls, preventing a flank from underneath what forces remained atop it's ramparts. A Closing Word of Advice Do not mistake our kin's gilded exterior as superiority, the Great Farmer made all of us as equal folk, the duty of our family is to protect such. Heavy is the head that dons the crown, as the rest of the world shall see it as it is seen amongst the realms of men, though we know better than to put ourselves above others, wield the influence it shall bring within the realms of men and elves to deter foreign mingling amongst our folk, there may come a time when Emperors, or Biggun Kings shall try and subjugate our folk once more, wield the crown of our kin as a tool to show that we do not need them. Knox has granted us our freedom and we shall protect it fiercely, lest our Shiredom crumbles and our people are driven to obscurity once more... "Bring Unto The Realm Halfling Ire" -House Collingwood-

+1 There's already Kha druids. I mean- I don't see any reason they'd not be able to

This is so ******* cool. Best way to guarantee roleplay without axing small relams.