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[!] The esteemed brother to the now-armless and illiterate merchant Boon, Bane, begins writing a wicked letter of complaint toward the Thorn of a White Rose newspaper on his brother's behalf! Penned and issued by Bane on the 4th of Owyn's Light, 1953 Dear Penner of the Rose, Madame Thorn, I am writing on behalf of my brother Boon, listening to his pained words and cries carefully. The matter of fact in this letter is that you did not mention him and subsequently our business or the tragedy that struck him a few moons ago during the trial of Richard of Stassion. This is a great disaster to Aaun, our customers, yourself and your newspaper. As an upstanding citizen of Aaun (who has always paid his own and other's taxes out of sheer generosity), he believes, and I believe, his now lack of arm should have at least received ONE sentence of mention. He is a beloved figure within the Kingdom, and when he was being taken captive, screams of his name, of worry, were echoing throughout the hall. Rescue missions and teams immediately scrambled in their dozens to save him. You are underappreciating the work he has done for this nation and making the event seem like a non-issue. Therefore, you are slandering our business and damaging our reputation. Might I let you know, personally, as his brother, this is me speaking now, he is STRUGGLING to knit, as he has one arm, this is on top of us jointly mourning for our recent lost friends in the Aaunite nobility, and yet you add on to our GRIEF. That means our wares are on a delay and are struggling to reach the hands of our beloved visitors, which means their beloved gold in their nice purses are struggling to get into our hands. If any poor quality garb or product gets out to the citizens of Aaun, this is blood on YOUR hands. You are single-handedly crashing the Kingdom of Aaun's economy. In conclusion, we as a international conglomerate are DISSAPPOINTED and Boon is ANGRY. As an apology from your silly little paper, we have some demands. It should be publicly known that those that assisted Boon received lifetime loyalty cards to Boon & Bane's, which included, His Majesty John of Aaun, as we are loyal subjects, and he even saved Boon FOUR slices of pie, which is FOUR more than you have given him. We would be delighted to be interviewed by your paper for your next issue, please contact us. If you do not do this... there WILL be issues. But unfortunately, no, I will not enjoy your next issues, because frankly you are a prick, a thorn in MY side. Yours most angrily, Co-Owner, Co-Founder, Proprietor, CEO, Possessor, Lease-Holder, Landlord, Keeper, Chancellor, Esteemed, Lord, Logistics-Master, Accountant, Architect, Designer, Quartermaster, Chutney-Taster, Lawyer, Dish-washer, Administrator of Boon & Bane's Ltd. and Boon's Brother, Bane
