forwhatpvrpose

Victor nods, publishing his completed reforms for the public to see. In addition, he puts out a job bulletin in search of new employees to staff his Ministry.

 

_______________________________________________

Dear reader,

 

If you have interest in working for the Ministry, please return this form to the Office of the Secretary. (Reply to this forum post filling it out.)

 

NAME:
AGE:
GENDER:

POSITION/S SOUGHT:
EXPERIENCE:

((DISCORD:       ))

The following positions are open presently. Please indicate which positions you have interest in. 

 

• Undersecretary of State for Civil Affairs
• Archivists
• Poll Workers
• Professors

 

Sincerely yours,

Secretary Halcourt

 

(Current job openings last updated: 8/12/2020)

SURNAME: Halcourt

FIRST NAME: Victor Clement

ADDRESS OF RESIDENCE: 1 Helena Bazaar, Helena, Oren

DATE OF BIRTH: 1742

 

Are you registered and eligible to vote in the Holy Orenian Empire? Yes

 

Do you have any other title, peerage or military service that may conflict with becoming a Member of the House of Commons, as per the Edict of Reform (1763)? Yes

 

If yes, do you understand that you will be required to resign or abdicate from this position should you be elected to the House of Commons, and if this does not occur your seat shall be considered to be vacant?: I am prepared to resign my military commission as I have served for decades.

 

((MC NAME)): Lyonharted

“Martin is an inspiration to us all.” remarked Victor from his office in the Helena Bazaar.

Just now, sergisala said:

@Lyonharted™ "You are also invited, by the way" a galbraith messenger would suddenly hand Mister Halcourt an invite to the wedding before disappearing in the distance.

victor sheds a happy tear probably

Victor C. Halcourt, editor-in-chief of The Helena Herald, sends a letter to Filibert Applefoot commending them and welcoming their company into the journalism industry. “Hopefully Beetroot News continues to be a beacon of light, illuminating the way through Brandybook for all halflingkind well into the future, “ he remarked to himself.

EDITIONS ○ Edition 1, 1770

NEWSLETTERS ○ Newsletter 1, 1769 ○ Newsletter 2, 1771

 

Published 14^th Godfrey’s Triumph 1773

Halcourt Publishing Co. 

LIFE
Section Editor, Peridot B. Carrington

 

 

« THIS WEEK’S HOROSCOPES »

Using the Imperial calendar’s zodiac

written by Mr. Pommul Redfern

 

I am here to bestow advice and general fortune-telling upon you. To this end, I will be using the zodiacs of the Imperial year. Remember that all horoscopes are open to your own personal interpretations and that my writings are here for you to quench your curiosity… They are simply tools in your arsenal to reach a higher level of self-understanding. For your convenience, I have listed below a conversion chart from the common calendar to the Imperial calendar. If you do not know your birth month, please select whichever feels most in line with your identity, based solely upon its name and zodiac, before reading your horoscope below.

 

[REAL LIFE DAY] – COMMON MONTH – IMPERIAL MONTH – ZODIAC

[WEDNESDAY] – SNOW’S MAIDEN – HOREN’S CALLING – SIREN

[THURSDAY] – MALIN’S WELCOME – OWYN’S LIGHT – GOLEM

[FRIDAY} – THE FIRST SEED – GODFREY’S TRIUMPH – WRAITH

[SATURDAY] – THE GRAND HARVEST – TOBIAS’ BOUNTY – STEED

[SUNDAY] – SUN’S SMILE – SUN’S SMILE – LILY

[MONDAY] – THE AMBER COLD – HARREN’S FOLLY – ELEPHANT

[TUESDAY] – THE DEEP COLD – SIGISMUND’S END - BEETLE

 

HOREN’S CALLING Horen’s Calling is the month of the Siren. Those who are under this symbol should be ready for a year filled with womanly power and feminine growth. A literal or metaphorical pregnancy is bound to bring itself into your life. This means the birth of a new project, a new quest or even a new life. This year you should respect female figures of authority more so than you usually would. If you are a female figure of authority, then you should take strength in your power and rule.

 

OWYN’S LIGHT Owyn’s Light is the month of the Golem. To the Golems, the year will bring ups and down. If you are currently having a good year so far, you should expect for something to happen which will turn your fortunes upside down. This is not entirely a bad thing, because the wheel of fortune always comes full circle. Your misfortune will turn into good luck and positive energy.

 

GODFREY’S TRIUMPH Godfrey’s Triumph holds the sign of the Wraith. For those born under the Wraith, you should expect to have a year that focuses on your inner strength. In situations of confusion, doubt, or fear, you will reign triumphant. 1771 should prove to be a year of mental growth and social fortitude. In social situations and political endeavors, it is recommended that you take control and do not fear opposition. Inner strength will help you come out on top.

 

TOBIAS’ BOUNTY The Steed represents the month of Tobias’ Bounty. Judgement is going to be especially important to you this year. Fairness and consequence will prove to either be your friend or foe. Those under the Steed should avoid political and judicial situations if you are on the wrong side. However, if you are on the right side then you should assert yourself. Fairness can be greatly beneficial for those of positive karma.

 

SUN’S SMILE Sun’s Smile is the birth month of those who are under the Lily. This year is going to prove to be one of patience and self-sacrifice. You should expect to be put into uncomfortable situations, possibly by your own volition. You should be aware of what is important and what is not. Perhaps you should reflect on what is worth making sacrifices over, then choosing wisely as to not waste your time.

 

HARREN’S FOLLY The Elephant is the sign those born in Harren’s Folly are under. 1771 will be a year of endings, and closure. This could be the end of a quest, the closing of a trial, or perhaps even the death of a loved one or enemy. Maybe you are expecting some of these things already, and if so, you should also expect them to happen this year. It is suggested that you try to accept things out of your control and to be prepared for whatever comes after something or someone’s demise.

 

SIGISMUND’S END The end of the year is the month of the Beetle. This year will sadly be a one of great catastrophe for you. If you are a great leader, a highly regarded political figure, or even just the owner a grand home, then you should start getting prepared for the worst. 1771 is going to try its best to destroy everything you have built and fought for. I suggest that those born under the 7th month of the year start moving on from past investments and prepare to begin anew.

 

 

 

 

« NONNA’S: A HELENA STAPLE » An Editorial Review of a Local Restauraunt written by Mr. Peridot B. Carrington           Milo Vitale: A Chef and Host at Nonna’s     This evening, a few Saint’sHours prior to the festival, I found myself hungry. My usual food stop in the city is the Kharajyr cuisine food truck, but the clerk wasn’t around today. Eager to try something new, I swung into Nonna’s. Behind the deli counter stood an Illatian fellow, Milo Vitale. I sat upstairs, overlooking the canal. I love this city – especially the way that the water encircles the Nauzica Square, bounding it like an aquatic wall. Great view.   Milo came to take my order and we had a real pleasant conversation. I talked to him about show business and I think he’s gonna start doing some entertainment! I’m stopping by tomorrow to meet his sister and watch her sing, play piano. Anyhow, onto the food.            For my appetizer, I got a plate of prosciutto. Prosciutto, for the uncultured among our readership, is delicate slices of cured pork leg. They are delicious and go with a fine cheese platter. I snacked on these morsels awaiting my main course. I highly recommend them; they’re a cheap addition and really complete your meal. The prosciutto costs 0.7 mina.          My main course was Nonna’s Spaghetti. Spaghetti bolognese, to be exact! The pasta was expertly twisted and clearly home-made, none of that packaged stuff shipped in from Sutica. The meal had a sauce made of tender beef mince, tomatoes, onions, garlic, and herbs. Truly an Illatian classic! I will certainly come back for more spaghetti.         I added some perfect side flavor to my meal with a glass of fine red wine, Maiden’s Blush. Its a slightly parched red; I wafted a strong berry fragrance. It certainly gives off some sweet notes and flows very smoothly over one’s tongue. It had a bit of a fruity tang, which surprised me. Perhaps it shouldn’t have with the berry notes, but alas I don’t usually partake in fruity drinks. I’m more of a white wine drinker, but the red really complemented my meal.    The vibe of Nonna’s is perfect and I can surmise that on a busy night, with Arianna Vitale playing piano, it will be hard for any restaurant to top this fine establishment. Though, I haven’t met Nonna... I wonder where the woman is. I would love to interview her one day – and question number one? Her sauce recipe.

« JUST ASK ELANI #1 » Life Advice from One Kid to Another written by Ms. Elani Redford   Are you stuck between a rock and a hard place?  Is decision-making becoming difficult?  Are you experiencing problems that you can’t solve on your own?  If you’re looking for advice on how to solve these issues, then you’ve come to the right place!   Ask Elani, she can help you solve all of your problems.  Whether it be marital discord, social exile, parental tyranny, etcetera. If you have a problem, Elani is here to help you solve it!  Simply send her a letter. Your problems could even be featured in the Herald -- under an anonymous name, of course! – to help others in a similar spot find their way out.   [You can contact Elani at Sam260#3135 on Discord]   Elani’s advice for today, however? Always be true to yourself.  Don’t let others judge you or belittle you for the decisions you make in life.  You are your own person; the only person who can judge you is God. And it is known that God loves all of his children equally. So live a life that is true to you.   That’s all from me for this week! Be sure to come back for more advice in future editions. « WEDDINGS & FESTIVITIES » A Recalling of Recent Events written by Mr. Peridot B. Carrington   Do you consider yourself well-to-do? Do you want to know the goings-on of our high society? Then this is a must read for you. This article will cover life events of the aristocracy, of celebrities, and the sort.   The Debutante Ball of Her Imperial Highness the Princess of Helena Elizabeth Anne occurred this week. It was a grand affair, taking place on the First of Godfrey’s Triumph. The Princess’ day heralded in the Spring. As a girl of ten and six, Elizabeth Anne is now a woman and received many gifts, as well as suitors, on this eve. The ball included a Mother’s Address, by the Princess Imperial, the Suitors’ Persuation, the Waltz of Effloresence, and a costume contest called Antiquity’s Memory. Attendees dressed as members of history.    Mariana Dubois and Donovan O’Rourke of Kaedrin were married in Saint Thomas this week. The wedding’s theme was a floral one, with the color yellow dominating the decorations. We wish the newlyweds a long and happy marriage.    Methas Bennet and Anarial were married this week. The city folk were wed in the cathedral right here in Helena. We wish them a long and prosperous marriage!   « TITANS FALLEN » Some Obituaries written by Mr. Victor C. Halcourt   Last edition, we published an interview with the Speaker of the House of Lords. Mr. Ruthern proved himself to be a strong leader and a loyal patriot through his words in that interview, and his actions in the chamber... Alas, even titans fall in time.    THE RIGHT HONORABLE the COUNT of METTERDEN has passed. May KONSTANTIN RUTHERN rest in peace.    Furthermore, we lost another titan of government this year. This man once lead a strong duchy in what is now the Northern Territories. After he finished his tenure as duke, he retired – but he was not finished serving his nation. Indeed, he graduated onto higher ventures, becoming a Circuit Judge. But God did find that his time has come.   HIS IMPERIAL EXCELLENCY the former DUKE of EASTMARK has passed. May TOBIAS MERENTEL rest in peace.

« GOING TO THE FAIR »

A New Comic Column

written & illustrated
by Ms. Elani Redford

Scene One: “Father!  Is it time?” The young lad, Howard, called as his father returned to their family home. “Yes, my son.  It is time to go to the fair.” Michael proclaimed with a smile. “You both be safe!” Helen called, waving to her child and husband.  She had to stay home, to take care of Howard’s younger siblings who weren’t old enough to go to the fair yet.

 

 

Scene Two: “How far do we have to go, father?” Howard asked from the back of the carriage. “It is not far, my son.  Just down this path.” Michael told his child, smiling back at him and pointing in the direction that they had to go.

 

Scene Three: “Father, the path splits!” Howard exclaimed, worried they would not make it in time.  He so wanted to go to the fair, all of his friends would be there! “Fear not, Howard.  I have traveled The King’s Road many times, I know which way to go!” Michael smiled, reaching back and patting his young son’s head.

 

Scene Four: Sure enough, as they continued traveling the path that Howard’s father chose, they came upon the high guard towers that signified their arrival. “Father, look!  We have made it!” Howard proclaimed happily, grinning broadly from the back of the carriage. “Yes, son, we have.” Michael smiled as he pulled the carriage to a stop.

 

Scene Five: Together the father and son headed to the castle gates.  They were greeted by the guards who let them in. Howard’s eyes were wide as they headed for the fair grounds.  He was excited, having never been before! Michael kept a hand on his son’s back, so he did not get lost.

 

Scene Six: Finally the father and son entered the fair garden. Howard, happier than ever, grinned and waved when he saw his friends “Can I go play, father?” Howard asked, looking up to his father happily. Michael nodded, a hand on his son’s shoulder “Yes son, of course you can!  It’s a festival after all, you are supposed to be having fun!”

 

 

POLITICS
Section Editor, Mr. Joseph Clement Novellen

 

« THE VICE CHANCELLOR »
Who? What? Why?
written by Mr. Bartholomew Morris, staff writer

 

As some of our esteemed readership is aware, the Emperor has appointed a new Vice-Chancellor, Armande de Falstaff. While the man wishes for privacy in his personal life, he was happy to sit down with the Herald to help us shine a spotlight on the goings-on of the Basrid Administration.

 

The Holy Orenian Empire is run by a gigantic apparatus of state. A mixture of nobility and commanders, appointed administrators and elected officials means the Imperial Government may seem hazy and confusing at times. One visible area of government is the Chancellery, and within that office we find our new Vice-Chancellor, Armande de Falstaff. The Chancellery, for those uneducated in state, is the pinnacle of the administrative pyramid. They oversee the Imperial Cabinet, which ranges from war to the interior, and therefore deals with all matters of state. Furthermore, the Chancellery develops policy with the Crown and Council, as evidenced in the Imperial Address previously reported on.

 

Mr. de Falstaff was appointed as Vice-Chancellor, which is the understudy and assistant to the Archchancellor, Simon Basrid. While this may seem like the Vice-Chancellor is simply a glorified secretary, in fact the Vice-Chancellor is almost equal in power to the Archchancellor, minus the seniority of the latter’s position. The pair of chancellors also aid in the ministries themselves, and can assist the ministers when times are trying or hectic. An example of this is the initial work of de Falstaff himself, whereby he aided the foreign affairs ministry. 

 

After the Leuven Doctrine was published by His Imperial Majesty, the diplomatic fallout was inevitable. The foriegn nations that had prematurely signed treaties with the rebels in Rubern included Brandybrook, Vira’ker, Krugmar and Renalia. They were spoken to by the new Vice-Chancellor to smooth out the diplomatic creases in the fabric of Arcas. This form of work can form a bulk of the Chancellery’s time when a member of the Imperial Cabinet takes ill.

 

With that overview of the role of Vice-Chancellor, you, the reader, may wonder what about the man behind the role? De Falstaff previously worked as the headmaster of the Haense Royal Academy, and during that time an issue between the Haense Peerage and the Imperial Government arose. During this crisis de Falstaff negotiated between the relevant parties and through this, was offered the role of Vice-Chancellor. Where did these skills come from? According to him, from his family. His father for example was Archchancellor for the late Emperor Joseph Marna.

 

To end this piece, Armande was asked what his dream for the empire was. Through his tenure as Vice-Chancellor, Armande wishes to develop the cities of the Empire. The arts, science and the cultural fabric of the Empire are the foundation of what makes the Empire great, and the development of these are important. He noted that institutions, such as the Helena Herald, are the pinnacle of human and Orenian ingenuity and therefore must be cherished. We are thankful for his support.

 

 

 

« The Ministry of Civil Affairs »
A Final Interview with the Former Secretary

written by Ms. Elene Woodward, staff writer

 

An Interview with Edward Napier, former Secretary of Civil Affairs.

 

 

Elene: “What do you think Edward think is the biggest civil issue facing our nation at this moment?”

 

Edward: “Currently - mmm, there are two but they are very closely related. We have a recession in immigration. Our population isn’t growing at the rate it used to and affects the country in many ways. The second is the sleepiness in our legislature, I do not believe a bill has been passed in the last few years.”

 

Elene: “What is causing our sleepiness in the House of Commons?”

 

Edward: “I suspect a dearth of problems, which is sort of a good thing. The house has always been a reactive body responding to problems with legislation as they unfold. In this period of unusual stability the spark for bills has been rare.”

 

Elene: “Is this affecting anything a citizen might see?”

Edward: “Much of the work of the state is subtle - but it’s effect is there. It’s hard to say, often the lack isn’t felt until you have it. If all you’ve ever had is gruel you don’t exactly miss out on steak. For now, the effect on citizens is negligible, I think.” 

 

Elene: “How can you see us fixing these issues?”

 

Edward: “Friendly encouragement, I think.. through personal government it is possible to lit a fire under the rear of the house perhaps. The lines between the house and execute are distinct and ought not be unduly crosses but a bit of talking between the two parts would do well to help.”

 

Elene: “I think that about wraps everything up here about the state of the city. What would you like to say to the citizens?”

 

Edward: “Mmn… I would say. Be very proud of your city. It is not the government’s city; it is a people’s city as us government types wouldn’t have much to do unless people lived here. Know your identity and know your worth. It is a blessed thing to live in this ruby city, this jewel of mankind. Each and every one of you adds a little more to the size and shine of that gem.”

 

 

 

 

ACADEMICS
Section Editor, Asteria Heatheri

 

« TOP 10 MOST USEFUL HERBS »
Herbalism for the Layfolk

written by Ms. Asteria Heateri, staff writer

 

NUMBER 10 MOONMOSS Moonmoss is a herb used to cure or reduce minor to moderate inflammation in one’s body.

 

NUMBER 9 BONESET Boneset is a herb found in the desert and is used to heal bones as a powder, though it may take a few days. Though uncommon to do, Boneset is used to numb the surface of a flesh wound, though it’s better to use Blissfoil to numb wounds.

 

NUMBER 8 KING’S IVY King’s Ivy is great for people who often become stressed or anxious, for it clears one’s head from anxious thoughts and induces relaxed and happy thoughts

 

NUMBER 7 MANDRAGORA Mandragora Is a herb which is very hard to harvest, but when harvested  properly can be used as a great nutritional food.

 

NUMBER 6 BLADDERWORT Bladderwort Is mainly used for people with combative careers and women-in labour, as a recovery inducer for lost blood.

 

NUMBER 5 PICOTE Picote is a good replacement for bandages, but must be dried before applying it to the wound.

 

NUMBER 4 LARIHEI’S FINGERS Larihei’s Fingers is used to increase the effectiveness of all the main senses.

 

NUMBER 3 BLACK SUN’S SPINSTER Black Sun’s Spinster can prevent unwanted pregnancies when used properly, and can be used in many different forms such as a liquid or powder.

 

NUMBER 2 LARIHEI’S FINGERS Frost Vine is used to reduce cramps and tight muscles, as well to help numb moderate to severe burns and is one of the few things that are naturally fire-proof

 

NUMBER 1 GIKAKUL Gikakul is a herb with many mysteries surrounding the specific properties of its healing, but many people on the brink of death were saved by this special herb.

 

 

 

« GODAN, HAENSE, & THE KING »
A Theological Discussion on Current Events

written by Mr. Ardyll Gostaith, staff writer

 

Godan, Haense and the King. A simple motto?

Godan, Haense and the King is my motto, and I hope that it might become more widespread hereafter. Obviously, we can each change the word Haense for the name of our own nation and leader. “God, Helena, and the Emperor.” might be yours, or even “God, Johnstown, and the Lord Lieutenant.” or perhaps “God, Kaedrin, and the Commonwealth.”... You get my point.

It is a simple motto, easy and short. But what does it mean exactly? This part isn’t that simple. First of all, you must follow that order of importance: Godan, then Haense, then the King. But why? Simple. First of all we have Godan, the Creator; He is the most important thing in the World, so He has to be in the first place, the number one. In the second place, our Homeland. It is very important to protect and defend your Homeland. A good Canonist is a good patriot, but always remember that first you serve Godan, then your country. Everyone should be proud of their country, no matter what race you are or what political ideas you have. Canonism is the home of people of all colours and species, and no one should forget it.

 

In the third place we have the King. I must apologize to all the kings, but especially to my King, His Royal Majesty the King Sigismund II of Hanseti and Ruska, for placing them in the third place. But, the truth is that no king ever will be as great as the Lord or our beautiful Homeland. Behind the word “King” goes all the other material and immaterial things, so we can say, for example: “Long live Godan, Oren, the King and the Carrion Black!”, in the case that you are from Oren and you love the Carrion Black. 

The actual situation with Canonism

We have said that, in the motto, the most important thing in the whole Universe is Godan. But in the real world is it seen that way? No, it isn’t. Canonism is seen as a secondary thing in life that hardly ever has presence in some cities. These things must change; Canonism should have presence in all the cities of all the kingdoms. 

I have traveled a lot these days, and in all the cities and towns I haven’t found a single canonist book in any market! But one thing I did find was the Red faith books! And it wasn’t only a single book in a single city… How are we supposed to be the true and biggest religion if a book full of heresy has more influence than us in the markets? 

What can we do to stop this nonsense

We should make Canonism relevant again. How? I have compiled the two first Holy Scrolls, Virtue and Spirit, in a single book. This way we can sell them in markets and read them in churches. To have influence in places where Canonism is not the official religion, or it doesn’t have the sufficient power, we must send Canonist missionaries to preach and convert them to Canonism, with the help of the Book. I call upon the church to accept this mandate and deliver the word of Godan all acros Arcas.

 

EDITOR’S NOTE > The above article is an opinion piece. It reflects the beliefs of its author. Its publication here does not necessarily represent an endorsement of those beliefs on behalf of the Herald. We serve as a nonpartisan, unbiased source of news. Given Mr. Gostaith’s expertise on the area as a theologian, he is afforded a job here, but any other theologians may also become staff writers for the Herald if they prove their expertise.

 

 

 

« AN ISLAND WITH QUESTIONABLE MORELS* »
A Report on a Far-Off Mushroom Island

written by Mr. Juan Lyons, staff writer

 

An Artist’s depiction of the strange land, having been titled ‘The Island of Mushrooms’

Nudged in between Korvassa and the Queen’s island is a little, hidden gem of Arcas: an island where there are no trees, rivers, or grass! Instead, it contains many gigantic mushrooms, rivers of a green slime, and cows that grow small mushrooms on their back. Even stranger, upon some taste-testing, their meat is already seasoned!

 

If you jump from a high enough distance and land on the strange slime, you will bounce unharmed into the sky. This is the closest any being descendant in Arcas can get to flying like a bird!

 

Should you wish to visit such a peculiar place, find the giant skeleton of the dragon near the coast, then head up the mountain of the slime river. Take your beloved, friends, family, whomever- and jump! You will bounce harmlessly towards the old skeleton, you cannot go wrong!

 

 

 

WORLD
Section Editor, Nenica Dubois

 

« KAEDRENI HOMEBREW »

The Verdant Sceal Tavern

written by Ms. Nenica A. Dubois

 

 

A portrait of Quinn and Padraig O'Rourke

just outside their newly-opened tavern

 

 Just past Haense, and just before the Northern Territories, sits a small gem: Kaedrin, a suburban hub. It, of course, has its own tavern. Recently, The Verdant Scéal Tavern has undergone a change in ownership, with Ms. Quinn O’Rourke now holding a majority stake. The recently evicted Edmund Bren was its previous proprietor. Upon Bren’s eviction, Miss Quinn was offered the tavern during her period of ‘soul-searching ’ -- as she had just arrived at Kaedrin at the time. She later commented that gaining stability for the tavern was rough, and she only later gained it due to the support of her family. The tavern’s grand opening was held on the 15th of Tobias’ Bounty, 1771. Ms. O’Rourke clarified that there was a VIP-only sampling before, of course.

In its menu, the tavern serves a variety of goods -- some are even homebrewed, like the popular Mountain Whiskey! (When asked for a clue as to its recipe, Quinn simply responded: “Secrets are fun to keep, and precious to competitors.”) Other drinks include the popular choice of Sona Eire Coffee, a brew of coffee and whiskey with cream, and the Everlasting Vieux Carre, a cocktail made of vermouth and whiskey with cherries. In the future, Ms. O’Rourke plans to open trading or plainly selling wares to other taverns- drinks like the Kaedrin Mountain Whiskey spreading, for example, to Helena. She also plans to hold another game night, much like the traven's grand opening -- though isn't quite sure how big she would wish to make it. At the end of the interview, Quinn’s brother Padriag O’Rourke stated, “This is a wonderful place, the light of the city if you ask me.” Ms. Mary Jane, earlier mentioning she had donated a good sum, quipped: "I was there the opening night of the tavern! I just saw so much potential and just had to donate! I will absolutely be going back; [it is] a great place ran by great people!" 

 

« KRUGMAR: A TRAVEL GUIDE »

On the land, its safety, and culture

written by Mr. Monte Russo

As most know, the orcish territory tends to be sands and deserts of harsh weather. Somehow, orcs have amazingly adapted to these harsh climates, finding a way to survive there. Unless you’re an orc born and raised in the sand, then it’s preferred to be prepared to enter the harsh climates with water and food!  In the desert, the best way to survive is to bring lots and lots of water, as dehydration is the biggest enemy in these lands. If you cannot get food or water, digging among the vegetation is a possible last option.

 

Clothing that helps protect you from the strong effects of the sun is best to be used; generally, those who do not prepare will face the consequences of the climate. Though, through my travels through Krugmar, I have learned that if you know blah tongue – do not use it unless you are an Orc! This will help prevent you from losing limbs or getting beaten up. It is clear that they find it disrespectful to their culture. In a way, it is viewed as mocking or patronizing.

 
Shelter is a must to stay cool. Overheating is a genuine threat to your well-being. Too long in the desert may cause problems with your skin, such as sunburn. It is also important to note that you are considered an outsider – perhaps even an intruder. Because of this, it is best to bring some kind of shiny or well worth gift as a tribute. Without it, you may need to pay tax for your arrival in such lands. If you have neither, you must expect an unwelcome amount of hostility. 

Orcs may congregate in groups called clans -- which, in the easiest way to put it, is a form of a medium-sized family of Orcs, like a tribe.The clan members hold massive amounts of loyalty to their kinfolk; they will show their devotion to their clan with this fierce verocity, and protect their clans with their lives. There are many clans to count, as orcs have left their cities by and large. Newly formed clans may find hostility from older and/or more respected clans. For example, Gorkil, Lur, Braduk, and of course, Ugluk.

 

Each of these clans has its own fort and land which they protect and develop. This often that war between different clans if one clan intrudes on another. Though orcs may be born into a clan or brought in by some form of trial, each trial is different, perhaps being trial by fire or trial by combat. Each clan has a different trial, or ritual if you will; when done correctly they are welcomed into their family. Generally, each clan tries their best to stay out of each other’s business. This is with the exception of times of war against a common enemy, like an intruder or factions of an imposing race, where they may rally up and collaborate for their common good.

 

All in all, Krugmar is a risky place to travel to, but bearing witness to the unique orcish culture and the beautiful vistas of the desert may be worth it. Just make sure to go prepared; otherwise, you might lose limbs or even your life.
 

 

 

 

 

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Halcourt Publishing Co. 

 

 

1781 NEWSLETTER

« ANNOUNCING OUR NEWSLETTER »
Keeping you up-to-date on the Helena Herald

 

 

In order to sell advertisements, recruit staff writers, and update our readerbase on the business of our newspaper, we will be distributing a newsletter. This newsletter will be put out a few days after each edition. Editions are released on a weekly basis, chock full of the latest news affecting the Empire and the world at large. We will release these newsletters so that you can purchase ads, join our staff, or suggest stories for the upcoming edition.

 

« NEW ADVERTISEMENT TIERS »
Restructuring to allow for flexibility

 

 

We have restructured our sponsor tiers so as to allow our clients more options. As the newspaper with the largest reach in all of the Empire, we offer immense value to our clients. Our advertisement syndication service flawlessly embeds topical inserts right into our content, ensuring that the correct audience receives your message. 

 

Purchase an advertisement today. There are so many ways that ads can help you. For your convience, we have compiled a list of common reasons for purchasing an advertisement in the Herald.

 

• BUSINESS PROMOTION – Drive sales to your in-person business. We have a track record of helping generate revenue.
• PERSONAL INQUIRY – Looking for a date? Wanting to propose in a fancy fashion? Put it in an ad so the world can see!
• PERSONNEL RECRUITMENT – Need more soldiers, barkeeps, or anything? We can help connect you with new employees.
• POLITICAL OUTREACH – Do you have a message that you want the world to see? We can get it out to all the world’s voters.
• AND MORE – Your imagination is the limit. Give us your money, and the whole of the Empire will read whatever you want.

 

So without further ado, here is the new sponsorship structure!

 

 

• PRINCE TIER – 2,500 MINA | ONE SLOT LEFT
  An article-length insert on the front-page of the latest edition, with a custom printed image of your desire. EXAMPLE:
  Spoiler

  

   

 

 

• DUKE TIER – 2,000 MINA | TWO SLOTS LEFT
  A 50- to 100-word text insert in either the first or last article, meaning that, by our estimates, 95% of our readers will see it. EXAMPLE:
  Spoiler

  

   

 

• EARL TIER – 1,500 MINA | THREE SLOTS LEFT
  A 30- to 50-word insert in one of our top performing articles. Top performing articles usually are the first in their section and garner serious engagement. EXAMPLE:
  Spoiler

  

   

 

• COUNT  TIER – 1,000 MINA | FOUR SLOTS LEFT
  A 10- to 30- word insert at the end of a topical article, hand-curated by our editor-in-chief. These garner a decent amount of engagement. EXAMPLE:
  Spoiler

  

   

 

• BARON TIER – 500 mina | FIVE SLOTS LEFT
  A 5- to 10-word insert selected in whatever slot remains. These get moderate engagement. EXAMPLE:
  Spoiler

  

   

 

If interested in buying an advertisement slot, please fill out the inquiry form below.

 

« STAFF REPORT »
Diligent arbiters of truth

 

 

Our staff is listed below in full. If you would like to write a letter to the editor, whether it be a section editor or the editor-in-chief, you may contact any of them as you see fit.

 

 

 

« HIRING STAFF »
Positions listed below

 

 

We are hiring staff for the following positions. Note that editors are in charge of running an entire section. They edit all articles submitted by their staff writers and may optionally also write their own articles. Staff writers are assigned a portfolio and write within that particular topic or subject set.

 

• EDITOR for the WORLD SECTION – Editing articles on global reporting for topics such as regime change, international conflicts, peace treaties.
• STAFF WRITER for PERSONAL UPDATES – Cataloging the deaths, marriages, and births of Imperial notables such as royalty, government ministers, generals, etc.
• STAFF WRITER for ECUMENICAL REPORTING -- Delivering news on the Pontificate, the Holy Synod, and other church business such as sainthood.
• STAFF WRITER for BUSINESS REVIEW -- Visiting restaurants, shops, bars, and other businesses in order to write objective reviews of their quality.
• YOUR IDEA HERE – Want to write for us or start a new section, but don’t see it listed? Tell me about it via our inquiry form!

 

If interested, please fill out the inquiry form attached below.

 

« INQUIRY FORM »
Fill out and pin to this poster

 

 

Want to buy an ad? Interested in working for the Herald? We pay our writers! Got a question? Fill out this form.

 

Quote

 

NAME > 

DISCORD >

INQUIRY > 

 

 

Below are some examples of this form properly filled out.

 

Quote

NAME > Jimbo B. Halcourt

DISCORD > Jimbo#4144

INQUIRY > I would like to apply for the position of Editor for the World Section. 

 

Quote

NAME > Bobby Big Money McGee

DISCORD > BigMoneyBro#1414

INQUIRY > I want to buy every ad that I can. Take my money. I love the Helena Herald so much.

 

6 minutes ago, extinct_00 said:

Odette Silversteed squints at her copy and the label of 'Halcourt Publishing Co'. She'd sip her morning tea, before asking aloud to no one but herself: "huh..Halcourt Publishing Company? Funny how he had never brought this up to the council or Matriarch.." she scoffs, tossing the paper lazily unto her table.

Victor, meanwhile, muses on the continued operation of the Halcourt Publishing Co., which was founded and published its seminal work hundreds of years ago. 

 

“One day soon, those red and white stripes will fly over the burning, rotting corpse of Rubern, “ remarked ensign Halcourt. ”They will learn the might of the Empire.”  He continued – ”And then the House de Falstaff can be returned to its rightful rule over the Leuven plain. Perhaps they might bring prosperity once more to that troubled region.”

 

 

OUR GOALS

Our goal is to serve as the premier source of journalism within the Empire. As Helena’s primary news journal, we will of course syndicate local news and current events. However, owing to Helena’s status as the Imperial City, we will also distribute news on the world and Empire at large. We will be a nonpartisan outlet, hiring both Josephite and Everardine writers. Above all, we hope to better inform and educate the Imperial populace, working to build a better Empire day by day. Our hope is that you will read the Herald each morning with your daily cup of coffee, hence our news-print coffee cup logo!

 

 

FIRST PUBLICATION

Having received assent from the Company of Scriveners and the Undersecretary of State for the Interior, we have the legal prerogative to operate and to distribute newspaper publications as we see fit. Hence, our first publication is currently being drafted, and our company is being formed. We are being incorporated as a wholly owned subsidiary under the Halcourt Publishing Company.

 

 

 

SEEKING SPONSORS

There will be portions of the publication devoted to recognizing our patrons and sponsors. Tiers of sponsorship are available below and will afford your name to be listed in the publication. There are also slots for advertisements which are associated with some sponsor slots. 

 

PRINCELY SPONSOR – 3,000 mina | 0 slots available | front-page feature-length article 

 

Cardinal Arthur – The Diocese of Helena

 

DUCAL SPONSOR – 1,000 mina | 0 slots available, 5 taken | mid-sized brief advertisement, 100 word maximum, large picture

 

Sir Henry – Imperial Crown Jewels, Grouch Carrington – The Company of Mercers, Farooq Gray – Imperial Constabulary, Jonah Elendil – Josephite Union, Edward Falkenrath – Green Co.

COMITAL SPONSOR – 500 mina | 9 slots available, 1 taken | two or three sentence footnote advertisement, small picture

 

Renee Antoinette – War of the Two Emperors Remembrance Festival, Lorena Helvets – Letter to the city

BARONIAL SPONSOR – 100 mina | 19 slots available, 6 taken | one sentence insert at end of publication

 

Edward Williams – Ministry of the Interior, Sarrion – Hot single looking for fine maiden, Simon Basrid – In honor of 30 years of the Basrid Ministry (1739-1769), Imperial State Army – Recruitment is re-opening!, Fredgar Burrowes – The Honorable Company of Tylers, Bricklayers, and Paviors, Viktoriya Bennet – Imperial Boxing Association 

 

HIRING STAFF

We are still looking for writers and editors on various subjects. Our staff is broken down into sections, which currently include the Politics Section, World Section, Life Section, and Religion Section. Each section has an editor. There are a number of staff writers assigned to each section as well, and every one of them is assigned a portfolio. For example, the World Section has staff writers for domestic and foreign reporting.

 

 

CONTACT US

Interested in becoming a sponsor or joining our staff? Contact Mr. Victor C. Halcourt, Editor-in-Chief. [Join our Discord chat and private message me. Click here for that.]

 

 

 

A letter would be delivered via courier to the described address.

 

Dear sir,

 

The Helena Herald is opening its doors! Your family’s history and your political acumen would make you a more than qualified writer for our Politics Section.

 

Please send word posthaste if political reporting is of any interest to you. I would be happy to begin the onboarding process.

 

Yours sincerely,

 

Victor C. Halcourt

Editor in Chief

Helena Herald

On Joseph of Marna

An essay on liberalism

 

 

A thousand years ago, humanity was binary. 

 

There were those who bled red and those who bled blue. The bluebloods were born into wealth and luxury, but in return they owed their people a service. This service was that of governance -- a truly taxing task. 

 

These blueborns rode off to war atop great stallions; they wined and dined on the finest of imports; they enjoyed the greatest decadence but also the greatest pressure. For while they enjoyed the benefits of their station in life, so too did they struggle with the duties that it entailed.

 

Meanwhile, the redbloods toiled in the fields; they marched and died without ceremony or pomp; they ate piss poor bread and slept on beds of hay… Indeed, their suffering was a sort of service too, but it was a service which confined them to never know the joys of life, and which disbarred them from achievement purely as a result of their birth. 

 

It is through the lens of this governing philosophy that we learn of history’s greatest. Horen the Father, Owyn the Purifier, Godfrey the Redeemer, and Sigismund the Preserver all governed in this fashion. For their time, this mindset worked, but times have changed greatly.

 

And so another great leader changed the tide of history. 

 

Joseph of Marna realized that one’s birth ought not decide the trajectory of their lifetime. He believed that opportunity was every man’s birthright, that each and every one of us should be able to rise to the occasion and serve our Empire if our merit and ability warranted it.

 

Of course, the highborn are indeed the spine of our civilization. His Imperial Majesty the Emperor is our benevolent supervisor, whose God-given duty is to maintain and develop His Empire. But our liege has only so much time. 

 

In empowering a strong civil government, he has multiplied the work that he can achieve ten thousandfold. Now, the Emperor simply decrees -- build me this great work, O loyal servant; raise me an army, O general of mine; make me an Empire, O humanity… and his great horde of aides and assistants see to it posthaste. 

 

As you go to vote on the morrow, know that we are the inheritors of Joseph. He dreamt of inviting the baseborn into the fold of government, and our gracious Emperor has seen that dream to fruition. Now, Dukes and Princes debate alongside merchants and soldiers, for the betterment of all who live within our good Empire.

 

But hark, sons of liberty! Our war is not yet won.

 

There are those that would undo the progress we have achieved. Many of them adorn themselves with the moniker Everardine. Know that these men do not realize the beautiful wisdom of Joseph, and that if they achieved power, they would turn back time…

 

O brothers and sisters, thank God Almighty that today we fight not on the field of battle, but rather in the halls of government, and know that He dispatched good Joseph to deliver us into this enlightened era. 

 

Vote Josephite for the liberty and prosperity of all.

 

Signed,

An Anonymous Josephite

1 hour ago, ReveredOwl said:

“Hear hear, one can not lead as both Vice-Chancellor of the church and as the leader of a political party for many reasons, mainly it is against established dogma.” said Boniface in agreement.

“Exactly. Mr. d’Aryn was right to resign his clerical office. So too was Mr. Elendil right to resign his military station, “ notes a random passerby. “Yet the Everardines tacitly attack Mr. Elendil, insulting his military service and acting as if he was wrong to step down. This is blatant hypocrisy.” 

4 hours ago, LithiumSedai said:

“O, Mother Orenia, their opponents preach progress, yet keep you chained to daemons of the past and their own failures,” declared Charles de Rennes, an elderly former Administrator. “To everyone but a fool it should be obvious by now that the only path forward is Everardine. Say NO to obstructionism and revisionism, say YES to promises kept!”

“Huh. I guess the Everardines are the party of the Pertinaxi and the Renatians, “ remarks a passing old man. 

1 hour ago, Xarkly said:

“So he's Peter II and Peter III? Well, that's just confusing,” Konstantin Wick grumbled, unable to wrap his head around it.

“There were two Peters that held the title Holy Orenian Emperor before him, but only one Peter that held the title King of Kaedrin. He is, therefore, Emperor Peter III and King Peter II.”

Very nice. You are now my son. Congratulations.

If you guys would like to read some more of my poetry, click here for a new post. 

Here’s some more bad poetry I wrote.

 

Again, some of it is quite political; please be respectful.

 

And please don’t steal as this is original content.

 

If you want to read more, you can click here.

 

---

If you’d like more context on this one, just google the names on the first line.

 

Port of Exit
Óscar and Valeria set off for a better tomorrow
Tired of the eternal strife, and the sleepless nights
In the footsteps of millions of migrants they followed
Hoping only to live a better life, to reach higher heights

 

And so they marched towards the future, freedom bound 
Hoping only to escape their abuser, and this battleground
Risking their lives in the pursuit of happiness
Their reward? Hatred, vitriol, and death’s bitter kiss

 

So close to their prize, almost having passed freedom’s door
Their future just over the horizon -- stolen by a wanton tidal pour
With their heads underwater, they dreamed of America no more
If that were you and your daughter, would you not try to cross the shore?

 

---

Death, Tomorrow
One day burial will be boring
There will be a number of options instead
Clever novel ways of body disposing
Expensive ways to rid ourselves of the dead

 

Some will bury their brains in microchips
Living a life in virtual paradise for infinity
Til of course the company they paid's stock dips
And then someone comes to unplug their computer city

 

Some will send out spacebound sarcophagi
Others will be intentionally fossilized
But a handful will choose to pass these by
With no hope of being reatomized

 

Theirs will be a new sort of suicide
Saying no to that tantalizing possibility
That one day the stars will be aligned
And some futurist will revive them wholly

 

It is the choice to live a life full and true
Accepting and cherishing our mortality
Choosing to die through and through
Gives life its value and finality

 

---

Kitty Crimes
Counters aren't for cats
Fridges aren't for felines
Only bipeds in the bathroom
And no kittens in the kitchen
 

(Very cool, though I was a bit startled, because Lyons is my real-life last name.)

Here’s some incredibly awful poetry that I’ve written. I’m bored and felt like sharing.

 

Warning: some of it is political, so some of you are bound to disagree. Please do so respectfully.

 

Also, this is original content, so please do not steal it. 

 

---

A Colossus Fallen
“Give me your tired,"
So long as their Visa hasn’t expired

 

“Your poor, “
Just make sure they don’t move next door

 

“Your huddled masses, “
But make sure that their skin tone passes

 

“Yearning to breathe free, “
First, pay a naturalization fee

 

“The wretched refuse of your teeming shore, “
Only if their country of origin isn’t at war

 

“Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, “
As long as they’re a famous artist, or have a PhD

 

“I lift my hand beside the golden door!”
The door to a nation whose heart beats no more
 

---

Hamlet’s Misjudgement
What does it mean to be human?
Shakespeare debated -- "To be or not to be?"
What if he was asking the wrong question?
What if the choice were not so binary?

 

This illustrates an original misconception
But we have no time for this dishonesty
Let the era of Hamlet's misjudgement be done
Now we must ask -- "How best to be?"

 

For we are here, and this issue is pressing
Death is always near, and this life is a blessing
Squander not your days, lest you soon forget
You can die a million ways; what will be your epithet?

 

When the children of posterity tour your skeletal avenue
As they meander aimlessly betwixt the gravestones
And their eyes wander to a plot meant for you
What words will be etched six feet above your bones?
 

---

Here & Not There
These moments sustain me
For my lungs are full of stolen air
My feelings betray me

For this world is so full of despair

 

Why am I here and not there?

 

I do not know why I get to live
When others die without reason
I do not know what I can give

To earn myself another season

 

Why am I here and not there?

 

If good people rot in hell
And others starve on Earth

How, then, can I live well?
How can I prove my worth?

 

Why am I here and not there?

 

For what reason do I live
If not to serve and to fight
Surely something will give
If I work until my very last light

Victor frowns. “I gave him 2,000 mina for stock as well, but I am not on the list, “ he notes.

1 minute ago, rukio said:

Lily Greythorn would recall when an Orenian Curonite sucked orcish toes. “A shame they’ve always been so vile.” 

[This is the quality content I’m here for.]