Valannor

Careful there, Tree. You may become a...

Stone cold killer. 

IGN: altiar1011

Character Name: Tarathiel Elyra

Age: 90

Place of Residence / Street Address: The Crow’s Hearth Tavern

Position: Tribune

Quote

The idea with the chaos disconnection clause of quite literally beating it out of another boils down acting in good spirits and regards for others. The reasoning with Victor’s Justice not requiring a broken part of the code, is so that it is a stigma that is enforced through roleplay, rather than, for example, the tenet bending and rule lawyering that comes with Paladin tenets, or something similar. You are absolutely correct that the disconnection ritual itself needs to be ironed out, as the repercussions for having your blessing stripped, and you’ll see this reflected in the changelog shortly

My only worry was the extremely open disconnection clauses, combined with the vagueness of VJ and such. I take the approach of “redline the **** out of things so they can’t be abused,” rather than a more trusting approach. With the extremely open nature of the Magic, requiring a short connection ritual that doesn’t really even require IRP consent, merely OOC, I worry for people abusing mechanics that would otherwise be fine if all are acting in good faith. 

Regardless, I look forward to seeing what you put in the change log, and discussing this further with you over discord. +1

Quote

Gravens are an exception to this.

I find this curious, as Phantoms are explicitly not allowed to possess magics whatsoever. I would presume this is an exception to the Phantom redlines? 

Quote

Malchediael’s Dogma and Victor’s Justice

The Aengul Malchediael places valour and honour as highly as courage. These values combine to form his Dogma, a code which Templars over the years have drawn inspiration from for their actions.

 

1.  To needlessly kill an innocent is the action of a craven rat.
2. The act of betraying your brothers-in-arms leaves you nothing more than a snake in the grass. 
3. Accept challenges laid before you with fervor.
4. If a disagreement is allowed to fester, settle it through a rite of combat; the feud is to be  resolved upon a decisive victory.
5. It is greatly dishonourable to utilize Malchediael or his Blessing as a way to accrue wealth or fame.
    

Should a Templar assume a compatriot to have been led astray from Malchediael’s ideologies, at any time, they are able to invoke Victor’s Justice. This allows for a Templar to face another Templar in single combat within an enclosed ring which cannot be entered or exited, to ensure a fair fight. Whichever combatant emerges triumphant has the option to either suppress the fallen’s blessing for two years, or to strike it from them entirely. If the latter is chosen, Malchediael’s blessing is cleaved directly from one’s soul, the final strike entirely incorporeal as it severs the connection between a Templar and the Aengul of Courage.

 

When a Templar’s blessing is stripped, the individual loses all will to fight. Even in self defense they find themselves lacking the motivation to protect themselves. 

 

-Victor’s Justice can only be evoked by a Templar of T4 or higher in an open area.
- The dueling ring of Victor’s Justice has a diameter of seven blocks, and once created only allows for the two Templar combatants to remain within, all others finding themselves physically unable to enter or intervene. The ring’s effects dissipate upon the decision of the victorious Templar.
- If a blessing is suppressed, it lasts for 2 OOC weeks.

This is something I think gives cause for concern. With the lack of a redemption mechanic like the one found in Paladinism, incredibly subjective tenets with no exact clarification, and the ability to revoke a blessing at any time, I can very easily see issues arising from this. Even moreso, due to the format of the duel, which could lead to powergaming to avoid the incredibly egregious consequences of disconnection. 

Taking away a character’s ability to “fight” entirely is crippling, and without regulation I can easily see this being abused, in combination with the subjective tenets and lack of any legitimate disconnection rules beyond the duel. While I could see such a consequence if this were a multi-slot magic with more stringent DC rules, this is a one slot magic without such things. A minor commitment has major consequences if a higher tier Templar decides that any one of their compatriots has strayed even slightly, they can bar an entire type of RP from the persona entirely ad infinitum with no chance of recovery.

While initially this may not be abused, you have to recognize the potential for abuse. As written, Victor’s Justice doesn’t even require someone to have broken a code, or for the one declaring the duel to have belief that a code has been broken. In addition, the one declaring the duel may premeditate and ambush another Templar for the duel. E.G, Walking up to someone who is unarmored, while you are within full platemail, before declaring the duel. 

This is not to say that the lore is bad/terrible/etc, because I do quite love the abilities. But the disconnection/connection rules do need some work, in my opinion. With such incredibly damning consequences if you earn someone’s ire, as well as the prior points, the potential for abuse among a community is very high and, with the ability of any Templar to simply... make more Templars, I can see this getting out of hand very quickly. 

My critique would be to ease on the consequences of disconnection, because at current they are some of the most extreme, if not the most extreme, of any magic I currently know the DC clauses of offhand. Clarify and expand on the clauses that can lead to a DC, and apply more regulations to the Victor’s Justice mechanic to truly enforce a “fair fight” as per the magic’s aim, rather than encouraging ambushing curbstomps. I would also advise placing more restrictions on the creation of new Paladins, which would encourage quality control and reduce the likelihood of even needing to use Victor’s Justice to begin with. I would also add specifics to the codes of Malchediel, to work hand-in-hand with Victor’s Justice and guiding new Templars on how they should behave.

Overall, a very solid magic lore, with just three major hiccups. I’ll give it my +1 if the issues above are fixed. 

The Keeper would scoff, taking the notice and shoving it into a satchel at her side. 

”There can be no balance with a hand on the scales.”

There is nothing about this post that I don't love.

Tarathiel Elyra would note the missive curiously, sipping on her wine.

”So... The plot thickens. I didn’t even know we had a plot.”

But where’s the Tavern? Why is the rum gone?

10/10, +1

9 hours ago, SquakHawk said:

Skin: Modest Elf, Haense Pride
Bid: 15k individually for each (30k total)
Discord: squak#8441

Man, I only wanted a dress. XD

1 hour ago, Dymase said:

Duncan of Kaminus would let out a low grumble as he eyed the poster. ”What the hell is this backstory? Never trained anybody... Age old rivalry?” With that, the man would shake his head turning on his back on the flyer. ”Anything for spectators, I guess. Couldn’t even get my damn name right.”

Tarathiel Elyra would giggle at her companion’s reaction, giving the aged Hexer a sympathetic pat on the back.

”Oh, come now, darling. They flatter you, ti? Give the Valah a show!”

[!] On noticeboards around Arcas, an elegant piece of parchment would be nailed, scribed in golden ink, and marked with the seal of the Elyra family.

Karin’Ayla, lliran.

My name is Tarathiel Elyra. I am one of a few tavernkeeps at the Crow’s Hearth Tavern within the kingdom of Hanseti-Ruska, as well as an amateur in the arts of culimancy & domestic housemagery. 

For those experienced in the practice, I am searching for someone to tutor me as I acclimate to the magic, as my own prowess with the art is... negligible, to say the least. I wish to provide a better service & experience for those who deign to visit the establishment, and allow my patrons to have more than the typical tavern experience. 

Payment can be arranged if desired, as I would not wish for an unequal exchange. I understand the burden of tutelage, and I do my best not to disrespect the practice.

For those wishing to contact me in regards to this notice, you may find me working inside the Crow’s Hearth Tavern most days, or you may simply send me a bird. I offer you my sincerest gratitude in advance.

Velulaei y nae ilumeh,

Tarathiel Elyra.

Haense Pride - 3k

Discord: Salty Alty#7030

This makes me excited to roleplay in Norland next map. Good ****, folks!

The Keeper, on her travels, would come across the missive on her patrol, taking the parchment from the notice board it had been nailed to.

”... Hm.”

Beneath her helmet, she would smile, before trudging onwards. 

+1, a much needed and well written amendment.

3 minutes ago, Hanrahan said:

why conflict matters:

 

it doesnt

Without conflict, no driving narrative exists. 

Conflict is quite literally essential to the server.

MC Name: altiar1011

Character's Name: Tarathiel Elyra

Character's Age: 88

Character's Race:

         Wood Elf

What magic(s) will you be learning?

         Housemagery/Soupmancy

Teacher's MC Name:

         Self-Teaching book, found in Talon's Grotto.

Teacher's RP Name:

        https://gyazo.com/40a32942c74c9331bf0236e17c4f1358

Do you have a magic(s) you are dropping due to this app? If so, link it:

         No

Do you agree to keep Story updated on the status of your magic app?:

         Yes

Are you aware that if this magic is undergoing an activity trial and fails said trial, that you will lose the magic? And that if it is apart of the Lore Games, it might drastically change soon?:

         Yes

{field_name_147}

         {field_value_147}

((MCname)): altiar1011

Name: Tarathiel Elyra

Age: 89

Are you a citizen of Haense?: No

Are you a knight of Haense?: No

Which event do you desire to compete in (Joust, Fisticuffs, Archery)?: Fisticuffs

Orlanth told me to leave a comment, so I will.

I support my Anime Antagonist for S tier PvPer.

I mean, so far you seem like a pretty chill and mostly humble dude. 

I vibe with it.

The Ghost of a Keeper would smile beneath her helmet as she heard the news, both of the treaty, and Haenseti independence. 

”Long live Haenseti-Ruska. Long Live Norland. May our friendship make us strong.” She’d mutter with a chuckle, before once again resuming her eternal patrol. 

The Ghost of a Keeper would grunt upon retrieving the scrap of paper from its place on the tree, ripping it from the nail pinning it to the bark. Reading the message scrawled onto the parchment, a thought would come to her mind. 

Later, under the cover of darkness, the symbol would be carved into a hollow tree within the dark swamps, the phantom intent on invoking this “Widow” figure. 

The Revenant of a Keeper looked over the work curiously, looking over Alisa’s shoulder. ”... Indeed. It’s refreshing to glimpse the truth of our nation being spoken by the rest of humanity.” Her voice whispers, echoing distantly. 

MC Name: altiar1011

Character's Name: Chryssa Stormbringer

Character's Age: 34

Character's Original Race (N/A if not applicable):

         Human (Highlander)

Transformed form:

         Phantom/Revenant

Creator's MC Name:

         N/A

Creator's RP Name:

         N/A

Briefly explain the lore behind this construct or creature:

All phantoms are born from those who are unable to pass on to the soulstream, and to the afterlife as a whole. There are many reasons that a soul may simply refuse to pass on, be it from a horrifically violent death, tragic circumstances surrounding their death, or simply sheer willpower. Here they sit, cast adrift in the Elysian until they take form as a Revenant within the corporeal realm.

Revenants are newly born phantoms, not quite able to grasp the circumstances of their death, and barely able to take a semblance of corporeality. These souls are lost, confused, and ultimately wracked with numerous mental illnesses as a result of their undeath. Their new ectoplasmic form is unfamiliar and foreign, a milky gray effigy of their past selves, and their very soul struggles to put together the pieces of how they died, or that they’re even dead in the first place. Their ‘bodies’ will show marks and wounds, depending on how they died. Revenants will often make an attempt to return to their normal lives, only to fall into despair as they come to the unfortunate realization that they are, in fact, dead. Neither malevolent, benevolent, or obsessive, these phantoms are the closest thing to neutrality that a spectral creature could reach by its very nature. Often, they will fade in and out of reality as their emotional state shifts and churns, their voices mere echoes of what they once were. With time, a Revenant will move past this nascent state, becoming one of three distinct types of phantom. 

The most grisly, and perhaps the most notable, would be a Poltergeist; a black spirit. These are souls who refuse to accept their demise, lashing out in anger as their ectoplasm takes on a dark black or red hue, the Poltergeist slowly becoming more and more absorbed in its hatred. Tormented by their new state, and utterly absorbed by the trauma of it all, these spirits are the most violent and aggressive flavor of phantom, hell-bent on domination and reliant on predatory instinct. That is not to say all Poltergeists are cruel, vile creatures, but moreso ravaged by the mental maladies of undeath to a dangerous extreme, causing most to act as feral beasts. Any evident wounds they bore as a Revenant will be exacerbated tenfold, causing them to be unrecognizable as the people they once were. Their voices are often characterized by hissing, wailing, and other animalistic or unpleasant sounds. Unlike Revenants, who lack the ability to manipulate or interact with the material world in a meaningful capacity, Poltergeists possess the same strength they held in life, and combined with the ability to shift their form, will often act as direct participants in the world at large, rather than sitting by and observing from the Elysian. Those in their presence will feel a distinct feeling of unease or fear, the Poltergeist’s sheer hatred and negativity seeping into the world around them. 

The polar opposite of the Poltergeist would be the Spectre; a white spirit. These souls have, over time, come to terms with the circumstances of their condition, accepting their demise and the circumstances behind it. A stark contrast to their more violent counterpart, these spirits are benevolent, and perhaps the most ‘evil’ they could get is playful mischief. This acceptance of their death, and being at piece with such, grants their ectoplasm a soft white, yellow, or blue coloration, and will bear no wounds or markers of how precisely they died. Their form would be, while not perfect, notably pristine yet... unsettling. Porcelain skin, pupil-less eyes, and other such features grant them a distinctly more pleasing appearance than a Poltergeist would possess. Their voices are often melodic, echoing and ultimately soothing to hear. They radiate a soothing, positive aura, calming those in their immediate presence. Oftentimes, a Spectre will pass on to the soulstream shortly after their transition, though some may choose to stay and contribute to the world they once knew. These phantoms are distinct in that they may, in actuality, pass on at any time of their choosing. 

The final type of phantom is a curious one; the Graven. Brought back from the grasp of death not by denial or acceptance, but sheer obsession or passion for what drove them in life. Their ectoplasm takes a grey, green, or purple hue, but these phantoms do not share the incorporeal nature of their proverbial cousins. Instead, their worldly bonds and motivation bring them closer to the physical plane than any other phantom, allowing them to take true form within the mortal realm. Like Spectres, these spirits do not bear any obvious marks of their demise, but their overall physique would be that of what they possessed in life, with a twist; their ectoplasmic form would give their skin the aesthetic of a glass-like or gelatinous appearance, making their status as an undead known. Oftentimes, a subtle ectoplasm smog would emanate from their skin, though this is not present in every Graven. So long as they pursue their passion, goal, or task, a Graven is relatively free of the mental maladies that mar other phantom types, though not entirely. Should they be prevented from pursuing their obsession, however, a Graven could become more dangerous and violent than even a Poltergeist, driven to despair and intolerable rage by being unable to accomplish their goal. These phantoms are one of the most unlikely to pass on, though such is still possible. 

If this construct or creature has some form of aesthetic choice, can you describe how they look? 

Revenants: More undefined spectral figures, grey in coloration and shifting in and out of reality depending on their emotional state. Will often bear subtle reminders of their demise.

Poltergeists: Monstrous spirits, black or red in coloration and their cause of death being made apparent across their entire body, causing them to be unrecognizable from the person they were before. Can change into other forms. be it an animal or a more monstrous version of themselves. 

Spectres: Kind, benevolent spirits, they are either blue, white, or yellow, and will bear no reminders of their demise. Their features are often pristine and unsettling, much like that of a doll’s. 

Gravens: Obsessive, passionate spirits, these phantoms either take on a green, purple, or grey coloration, their skin becoming glassy or gelatinous in appearance. Like spectres, they will bear no reminders of their demise, though a faint ectoplasmic smog may emanate from their skin, though this isn’t always a guarantee. 

Do you have a magic(s) you are dropping due to this app? If so, link it:

         No.

Do you agree to keep Story writers updated on the status of your magic app?:

         Yes.

Do you understand that if this creature's lore is undergoing an activity trial and that trial fails, you will no longer be able to play this creature and will be forced to either revert the character back to its normal form (if it was a transformative type) or stop playing the character entirely (if it is an entirely new creature)?:

         Yes.

Memey RP or using this CA for subpar villain/bandit RP can lead to your app being denied, even after acceptance. Please put "I understand" as your response once you have read this part and understand the consequences.

         I understand.

Have you applied for this creature on this character before, and had it denied? If so, link the app:

         No.