CowsGoMoo

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O-Oh... Whoops. Sorry, that was me flailing all over my keyboard. It's just that... NGGHHH. Can't talk, can only....

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Congrats to all the new GMs!

Whaat! Let's go investigate. Lone Wolf doesn't back down from exploring!

Lone Wolf the Explorer, off into the wild for another adventure!

Dora Lone Wolf the Explorer!

Boots Banedon, that super cool exploradora! 

Need your help! 
Grab your backpacks! 
Lets go! 
Jump in! 

Vámanos! 

You can lead the way! 
Hey! hey! 

(Jesus. I didn't know Dora the Explorer's theme song was this HORRIBLE...)

Hopefully, we don't bump into Swiper... That guy's one nasty fellow. If we meet him, we'll have to yell at him, "Swiper, no swiping!", to get him to stop swiping things!

Drink! Drink! DRINK! DRINKKK!!!!

What are we? Lone WOLF, or Lone WIMP? 

We're LONE FUDGING WOLF, of course!

Well... The only sensible thing left to do now is...

PAAAANIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC.

Damn, if only we could fly West. We would be able to escape into the sunset then! 

But nope. No flying off into the sunset. I guess the writer isn't THAT corny...

Fine. Let's fly over treacherous mountains and into a dense dark forest, because that's ALWAYS a smart thing to do.

As soon as it clears the bolt-hole, you pull open the

stone portal and race through

I-Is it bad... that I read that as... "As soon as it clears the BUTT-hole"? I nearly fell out of my chair laughing when I realized my mistake.

Anyways, I think we should just go for the bird. What could that dumb guard even have? The only thing that's more scarier than the GROUND, is a sword through my EYEBALL, and something like that happening seems likely if we dilly-dally with some dead guy when we have everything we need.

I-I'm not afraid of heights!

No-Nope! I'm only scared of the GROUND! Especially when I'm FALLING towards it.

So... uhm... let's just continue on ground level. It's less scary that way.

Well... I'm going to head down the path.

The portal sounds scary! Even if it isn't a NETHER PORTAL OF DOOOM. Perhaps I would've chose it if it was called "DOOR" instead. But nope! The harm is done! It's a portal, and I want nothing to do with it! 

Down the rather dark, scary, and possibly filled with cannibals path!

Home Alone style!

Push that drum down the stairs! What else do we have? Check your pockets for marbles! Darn! We don't have any! Do we have icy slippery stairs...? Ahhh, this is in a desert, so no we don't! How about lotsa string and buckets? No? Well, let's just push that piano in the corner down the stairs! What? The piano doesn't exist?

I guess a drum will do then...

Poop.

I think we should climb over the gate. No other way out of the situation...

All your posts make me laugh. Anyway, arch.

They do? A-Ahhh! A... A compliment! WhatdoIdoWhatdoIdo!? Waaaah!

A-And... Yeah. I forgot what an arch was. Which is really awkward. >_> >_< <_<

And also. I'm not sure what you mean by the one that is sensible... I mean, one leads to the garden... which may or may not be closed off, and the other leads to a tower... that will probably....

Ooooooh...  I see!

Yeah. Tower. Definitely. 

Though I don't know you well personally, I've seen you around quite a bit.

8.5/10. :)

Panic running to the ARCH!

Mainly because I'm not quite sure what an arch is. What exactly is an arch?

Whatever it is, it sounds safe. It also sounds like it turns to a safe page. 381 is a very nice number. If you add it together, you get 12! A perfectly even and dividable number.

See, if you add up 317, you get 11. An imperfectly odd and a prime indivisible number. If it's prime, it's probably a mime!

And I HATE mimes.

. . .

Jump out of the window straight into a lake! Make sure to do a double back flip, and land with your hands pointing down to avoid injury. The judges shall rank us a 10-10-10 for that stunning display of diving!

Then, we'll be sent to the Olympics and... we'll win a billion gold medals! Whooo! Go Lone Wolf!

See, running away wins you medals. The more you know!

Scavenger hunts are EXCITING!

Search through the room.

Also, Drop the warhammer and sword.

Andd... Blue triangle thingy?

I know!

We charge for... Sommerlund!!

-Raises sword and the air and screams, waving his arms around and flailing, before tripping on a rock.-

W-Waaah... WAAAAH....  I got... I got a boo-boo.

SOMEBODY KISSS ITTTT. ;m;

Well, doesn't seem TOO ominous, right? Foot prints leading into a dark scary tunnel with only one route out... Probably hidden for a reason!

But stuff like this is pretty much normal for our good old protagonist LONE FREAKING WOLF, so I mean, it's just second nature to venture into the dark scary cave that probably has a bunch of ghouls and scary stuff inside. That's just how bad-ass LONE FRIGGIN' WOLF really is.

Pull the lever!

ADVENTURE!

That video made me all happy to be alive. What a nice bonding moment, captured in anime!

Losta stuff in there. :o

8/10!

Blacksmiths are friendly.

If you go to the blacksmith and pretend to be a regular old citizen, I'm sure you'll blend in quite nicely... but then again, we're LONE FRIGGEN WOLF. Basically, we're the midevil Justin Beiber.

And you know what midevil Justin Beibers don't need? ARMOR! Because, goddammit, we're FAMOUS!

Go on ahead! Lone FREAKING Wolf doesn't need armor! Only NON-famous and not FABULOUS people need armor! Pfffft!

We are just...

Hammer for broadsword.

Listen to that door. I mean, doors need to be listened to, too! They really don't have many people to talk to... They get their feelings hurt every single day when no one pays attention to them.

Poor doors. :<

. . . Why shouldn't we look at the view?

Sight seeing in a jail cell! One of my favorite pastime activities.

Go look at the pretty hills and flowers, and trees and smell the smell of nature!

Whoops!

My bad. Since we have absolutely nothing, just take ALL OF THEM.

Who knows when we might need a warhammer, dagger, and a sword simultaneously? 

Double derp. We can't take all of them. Take the warhammer! 

Where the heck is our stuff? I feel as though it'll be DOWNSTAIRS.

I bet behind the door is the guard's quaters because no castle will have their guards climb up a whole god darn flight of stairs to get to the prison cells.

Why isn't there an option for taking off his clothes and wearing it as a DISGUISE?

That would've helped us a bit, actually... BUT OKAY BOOK. Just look through his body. No biggy, I guess.