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SmackSmack

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  1. “Yacht does not rhyme with Jerry” It was early the morning of the siege of stassion. Drolzu’Gorkil, known often to the common-man by his nickname “Jerry” stood upon the Covenant’s oddly high walls. He peered over expecting to see the ‘anthill’ as it had been termed. Indeed his gaze revealed the target of his attack, yet more than that even he saw his comrades, and orcish brothers prepared to face the fire of the trebuchet he was prepared to fire. He had received a letter prior from the soldiers of Veletz and warriors of Krugmar, and kept it unopened, yet now he could not help but read. Jerry now I know I was wrong, I messed up and now you’re gone Jerry I’m sorry I neglected you, oh I never expected you to run away and leave me feeling this empty. Your blah right now would sound like music to me. Please come home because I miss you Jerry. Jerry come home, Jerry come home. Drolzu cast his blade to the ground. He would fight no more. It would be better to stand and perish alongside his friends than to triumph among snakes. He would fight rather than be forgotten as just another ‘fleeper’ of the Covenant. The battle ensued, and as he started his departure from the battleground, he'd stop and say, "Zorry Banjo, but nub zorry everyazh elze." As he starts laughing mischievously, he strolls his way in the sunset, not towards Haense but towards Veletz. Jerry was returning home. You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?
  2. JERRY’S FERRY “Thanks Jerry” -Captain Banjo https://youtu.be/c9ps42Frh6Y?feature=shared IN A GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY… A continent torn by war! On the continent of Aevos, two sides duel for supremacy of the world, where friendships are tested on the battlefield, a sailor named Drolzu’Gorkil makes a daring choice. Switching from the sinister VELETZ forces to join the valiant ranks of the YACHTMEN, led by Captain Banjo. As alliances shift, a new chapter unfolds, and the fate of the cosmos hangs in the balance. Drolzu’Gorkil met the Captain upon his galleon docked in the Haense harbor. It was a fine winter night, Ferrymas Eve, and the two friends rejoiced in a fine drink of Hot Chocolate (the Haense Queen’s finest) and a little jolly Ferrymas music played by Captain Banjo’s legendary banjo. “Drolzu, you need a better nickname my friend. What about ‘Jerry’?” “Yub yub, mi lyke Jerri.” Drolzu’Jerry’Gorkil responded to the Captain, delighted by the thought of fighting alongside his old friend. Memories were coming back to him of the good old days… back when he first joined the Ferrymen. Captain Banjo… Adzy… Valentin… Django… Avalloc… Leonidas… [the list goes on]. Perhaps one day his comrades would all be fighting on the same side once again. “Mi zo hahpi wi klomp tugehtda mi ol frehynd. Zing mei e zong Banjo!” Banjo took out his banjo and began strumming his guitar before breaking out his new greatest single, JERRY THE ORC. “You know Banjo and Brick and Adzy and Lyulen… Jesus and Django and Andronikos and Valentin… But do you recall? The most famous Ferryman of all. Jerry the red-skinned orc Had a very shiny tusk! And if you ever saw him, you would say he’s so sexy! All of the other Ferrymen, Used to laugh and call him names! They never let poor Jerry, join in any Orenian raiding parties! Then one foggy Ferrymas Eve, Captain Banjo came to him. ‘Jerry, with your great strength Will you fight the Adrians with me?’ Then all the people loved him! As they shouted out with glee, ‘Jerry the Red-skinned Orc, you’ll go down in history!’ Signed,
  3. Drolzu'Gorkil dunz zah borgondi aend redyz hyz zult vur zah waghs tu komz.
  4. SmackSmack

    JerryTheNoob

    You’ve just arrived in a swampy, dim town. As you look around, your gaze is met with shacks and cabins. It smells of rotted wood and wet moss. You duck and step into a tattered tent, illuminated by a series of candles suspended in the air. At the back of the tent, an old hag raises her head, “What brings you to this dingy town? she begins, then pauses to study your face—”Ah, it’s you. I’ve been expecting you. Sit,” she gestures at a cushion, “Tell me your story.” ((How do you respond)) Drolzu sat down on the seat. He was very careful not to crush it under his weight. "I have journeyed far and wide across the lands looking for the most delectable chicken cuisine imaginable. I have discovered many dishes since I left home, but none have reached the true potential of chicken taste." His stomach rumbled. "Do you happen to know any good recipes, or where I might find some?" "Oh, I just, uh…" you stutter, tensing up. You eye the crone, then back outside the tent. For a moment, the air thickens with anticipation, until…
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