hypercrit

Moved to Denied Forum

Why did I deny you? Your ORQs were incredibly short, and you need to roleplay in them. Answer all questions, and include examples for the definitions. Give your character some flaws, quirks, personality traits etc. Some Places That May Help You Avoiding Bad Characters: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/27643-how-to-avoid-making-a-mary-suegary-stu/ Fixing Formatting: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/42682-a-guide-for-applicants/page__p__303005__fromsearch__1#entry303005 Some Tips: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/19145-tips-to-include-on-your-application/ A Question Analysis: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/34777-in-depth-analysis-of-the-application-form/ A FAQ: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/30081-application-submissions-faq-proper-etiquette/ Server Rules: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/?page_id=8 Latest Format: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/43580-official-lord-of-the-craft-application-format/ Definitions (Seriously Useful): http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/45364-roleplayingmetagamingpowergaming-definitions/ Please WAIT 24 hours before reposting, failure to do so will result in denial. If you have any questions, add me on Skype, or PM me on the forums.

Moved to Denied Forum

Why did I deny you? Your character would have experienced the move to Asulon, the destruction of Aegis. That would be included in his biography. Your ORQs were extremely short. Remember, you can go anywhere with them. Your definitions for metagaming and powergaming were incorrect. Include examples, and beef them up a bit. Some Places That May Help You Avoiding Bad Characters: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/27643-how-to-avoid-making-a-mary-suegary-stu/ Fixing Formatting: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/42682-a-guide-for-applicants/page__p__303005__fromsearch__1#entry303005 Some Tips: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/19145-tips-to-include-on-your-application/ A Question Analysis: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/34777-in-depth-analysis-of-the-application-form/ A FAQ: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/30081-application-submissions-faq-proper-etiquette/ Server Rules: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/?page_id=8 Latest Format: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/43580-official-lord-of-the-craft-application-format/ Definitions (Seriously Useful): http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/45364-roleplayingmetagamingpowergaming-definitions/ Please WAIT 24 hours before reposting, failure to do so will result in denial. If you have any questions, add me on Skype, or PM me on the forums.

Moved to Denied Forum

Why did I deny you? Alright, you followed everything I said again, and for that I am thankful. I just noticed however that your elf speaks a fair bit like a dwarf. Your biography also doesn't have much character depth, try to add personality quirks and suchlike. Beef it up a bit. Also, maybe improve your formatting so this is nicer to look at? And give examples in your definitions to make them longer and help us understand that you understand how to roleplay, what metagaming is and what powergaming is. Some Places That May Help You Avoiding Bad Characters: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/27643-how-to-avoid-making-a-mary-suegary-stu/ Fixing Formatting: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/42682-a-guide-for-applicants/page__p__303005__fromsearch__1#entry303005 Some Tips: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/19145-tips-to-include-on-your-application/ A Question Analysis: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/34777-in-depth-analysis-of-the-application-form/ A FAQ: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/30081-application-submissions-faq-proper-etiquette/ Server Rules: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/?page_id=8 Latest Format: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/43580-official-lord-of-the-craft-application-format/ Definitions (Seriously Useful): http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/45364-roleplayingmetagamingpowergaming-definitions/ Please WAIT 24 hours before reposting, failure to do so will result in denial. If you have any questions, add me on Skype, or PM me on the forums.

Denied. Too many tacos. Maybe include some pizza next time? Otherwise, your character has a really bland biography.

Moved to Denied Forum

Why did I deny you? Alright, you are definitely getting closer. I see you took my advice, and I am extremely thankful for that. I accidentally left something out of my review last time, and it was that your bio was too short. It included made up locations, no actual lore regarding the move to Asulon, and had no flaws, personality aspects, fears or quirks. Fix that up, eh? Also, I am really happy that you changed your definitions. The powergaming definition though, is definitely part of powergaming, but is not the type that we are looking for. I really, really suggest for you to look at the links below. Also, when I said 'roleplay' in the ORQs, I meant act as if your character is there, as if you are writing a book and your character is well, the character. For example, 'William run's up, flanking the men, sweating, huffing, puffing. He was not used to this kind of strain, but he would fight all the same.' That is roleplaying, and that is what I want you to do in your ORQs (Open Response Questions) Some Places That May Help You Avoiding Bad Characters: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/27643-how-to-avoid-making-a-mary-suegary-stu/ Fixing Formatting: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/42682-a-guide-for-applicants/page__p__303005__fromsearch__1#entry303005 Some Tips: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/19145-tips-to-include-on-your-application/ A Question Analysis: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/34777-in-depth-analysis-of-the-application-form/ A FAQ: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/30081-application-submissions-faq-proper-etiquette/ Server Rules: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/?page_id=8 Latest Format: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/43580-official-lord-of-the-craft-application-format/ Definitions (Seriously Useful): http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/45364-roleplayingmetagamingpowergaming-definitions/ Please WAIT 24 hours before reposting, failure to do so will result in denial. If you have any questions, add me on Skype, or PM me on the forums.