CharmingCavalier

The Collected Works of Who was Henry Penton? Henry Penton is the assumed name of Henry Norten. He was a playwright, poet, composer, lawyer, Orenian patriot, and politician during the Late Petrine period. Born in 1786 to two ordinary farmers, Henry grew up in the Heartlands of the Holy Orenian Empire before moving to the city of Providence in 1811 under his assumed name. In the following years, he exploded onto the literary scene and founded a successful publishing house known as Penton Napier Publishing. During this time, he was under the tutelage of renowned Imperial playwright Dame Yuliya Styrne. Penton’s body of work began as a celebration of natural beauty, and he advocated against the urban sprawl and opulence that defined much of Imperial society. However, as time passed, his work was described as increasingly bitter, resentful, and devoid of the natural advocacy he had once espoused in his youth. Most of his stories end in tragic misery for all characters, rather that be death or the realization of the futility of life. These facets have been increasingly referred to as Pentonian stories by later litterateurs. In addition to his literary contributions, Penton was drawn into politics and served as one of the longest-serving treasurers in Imperial history. For over thirty years, he developed rigorous financial systems that stabilized the Empire and made it one of the wealthiest nations in Almaris, although it lacked military prowess or success. He was a notable critic of state corruption and fought his entire career to root out thieves masquerading as civil servants. In his later years, he ascended as the 30th Archchancellor of the Holy Orenian Empire, although he was unsuccessful in the role, before fleeing into Haeseni exile in Valwyck during and following the Brother’s War. Music OREN AUT MORTEM (AN ANTHEM FOR OREN) Published in 1816 Listen Here OREN AUT MORTEM (AN ANTHEM FOR OREN) is Penton’s most celebrated work, and an orchestral rendition of the poem written in 1813. At large, this is viewed as the official anthem for the Empire and the mention of ‘Goats’ can be exchanged for any group of rivals, including elves, dwarves, or men. It was originally presented to Emperor John VIII and Penton was knighted into the Imperial Petrine Order for his musical and literary works. While many viewed this as a gift, Penton refused the titles and drapery surrounding the promotion for the entirety of his life. ~ SHE HAS LEFT ME, MY GOLDEN ROSE Published in 1818 Listen Here SHE HAS LEFT ME, MY GOLDEN ROSE was performed to Emperor Philip II in Providence’s La Fleur Theatre and was Penton’s second musical production. Although many speculated on his muse, later letters written by Penton during his exile in Valwyck detailed it was about a young love who died before his time in Providence, some assuming it was a man. Regardless, for his work, he was made the Imperial Court Minstrel. However, at this point in his life Penton’s life curse, alcoholism, began to develop. ~ O’ THE SHORELINE Published in 1825 Listen Here O’ THE SHORELINE is a heartland folk song that was standardized and performed by Penton in 1825. It was part of Penton’s effort to get people out of the city and into the rural countryside to heal ailments, a process Penton fully believed in. It is still widely sung by Heartlanders and reminds many of long days on the rocky shores near Southbridge. ~ A BIRTH DAY SONG Published in 1837 Listen Here A BIRTH DAY SONG was the Petrine’s premier birth day song. Originally created for Emperor John VIII, and performed for him on his death bed for his 80th birth day, the song saw minimal success with the common man. Instead, to the chagrin of Penton, it was often used by Petrine-era nobles and gained a connotation of a prissy song. ~ THE MOVEMENT OF LIFE Published in 1841 Listen Here THE MOVEMENT OF LIFE was Penton’s last musical composition as his political responsibilities surged. It is, by far, the longest and is a symphony in three parts. It tells the story of Penton’s life: from natural bliss, to sadness and anger, to refinding God and rediscovering faith. It is one of the most tragically forgotten treasures of the Pentonian record, and possibly one of the best musical compositions written in history. Poetry NATURAL WEALTH Published in 1810 Selections Can Be Read Here NATURAL WEALTH was Penton’s debut poetry collection that focused on appraising the urban and rural lifestyles that so drastically separated Imperial society. However, its contents, while remarkable, were not the only reason for its success. Primarily, it was because of Penton’s unique colorization and illustrations that were amongst the most pristine ever recorded in history. Each page was miraculously colored via a colored printing press. Many collectors consider Pentonian colored books to be their most prized possessions. ~ OREN AUT MORTEM Published in 1813 Read Here OREN AUT MORTEM was a rallying cry for Imperial forces after Joseph II banned the phrase Ave Orenia during the Sedanite Rebellion. Its popularization corresponded with Penton’s release of Oren Aut Mortem, a poem that was quickly turned into a drinking song recited across Providence following the Flight of the Goats in 1813. Archchancellor Sarkozy quite enjoyed the song and financed its eventual orchestral composition by Penton that was not performed until 1816. ~ SNOW’S TRUE MAIDEN Published in 1817 Read Here SNOW’S TRUE MAIDEN was a return to Penton’s fascination with the natural world, specifically the changing of the seasons. Some have attributed it to his personal life, although no record of this exists outside of rumor and conjecture. It remains one of Penton’s most illusive books as very few copies were ever made, as the block prints were stolen by a rogue Musin thief. ~ WORDS CANNOT REACH Published in 1819 Selections Can Be Read Here WORDS CANNOT REACH was Penton’s second poetry book and was commissioned by an unnamed noble. It is believed Penton took the commission to fuel his growing alcohol addiction. The contents of the book mostly deal with the troubles of loss, but are similarly colorized and illustrated. It is one of Penton’s more beloved works as his etching work drastically increased over ten years. ~ A BARREN PRICKET Published in 1822 Read Here A BARREN PRICKET was a short poem written by Penton that only widened the gap between his attraction to the natural world and the macabre. It told the story of a syphilitic man who stalked the woman of the night who had imparted him that gift. It remains largely unexamined and forgotten by modern litterateurs. ~ ALMARIS’ GEM Published in 1835 Read Here ALMARIS’ GEM was another short poem written by Penton, this time with the patriotic edge that had gained him praise during his earlier years. It espoused Penton’s usual shtick of calling for service to the country over any single leader. Although forgotten in today’s literature, it was part of Penton’s revival of Orenian patriotic literature during the 1830s. ~ VICTORY’S VISAGE Published in 1835 Read Here VICTORY’S VISAGE was the final patriotic poem written by Penton and was dedicated on the tenth anniversary of the end of the Tenth Nordling War, which was the last imperial success in warfare during the Petrine era. Like Almaris’ Gem, it is a forgotten work that is of little import to the overall legacy of imperial literature. ~ A PHILIPPIAN VERSE Published in 1849 Read Here A PHILIPPIAN VERSE was part of Penton's renewed patriotic fervor after the Aster Revolution and the assent of Emperor Philip III. Most notably, this piece symbolizes the energetic attitude that swept over Oren following the revolution, but once which was quickly doused by the realities of the world. Penton, a notable critic of Philip III, may have written the piece merely to applaud the Emperor's success for political gain, although that is conjecture. Prose THE MORTAL CHIME Published in 1812 Read Here THE MORTAL CHIME is a daunting and otherworldly piece of literature, and was Penton’s first foray into prose. Although considered a financial flop for the upstart author, the piece has gained more modern acclaim for its artwork, off putting story, and tragic ending. This was the first inkling of Penton’s darker tendencies. ~ THE LITTLE BOY IN THE MOUNTAIN Published in 1812 Copies Sold in Velec THE LITTLE BOY IN THE MOUNTAIN was Penton’s attempt to capture the attention of young readers. Although made for primarily financial reasons, the book is a retelling of a traditional heartland folktale. More impressively, the book was a picture book that contained colored illustrations on each page. This was one of the first of its kind and remains highly sought after by printers and collectors alike. ~ ON THE SUBJECT OF APTENDOTYE REX HELANII OR THE EMPEROR PENGUIN Published in 1813 Read Here ON THE SUBJECT OF APTENDOTYE REX HELANII OR THE EMPEROR PENGUIN was originally written by Dr. Charles Napier was then reformatted and colorized by Penton in 1813. It remains one of Penton’s least successful, and therefore more forgotten, works. However, those with an interest in natural sciences still seek out Penton’s books due to their colorized illustrations remaining paramount compared to post-Imperial presses. ~ THE LIFE OF DAME YULIYA STYRNE-NAPIER Published in 1814 Copies Sold in Velec THE LIFE OF DAME YULIYA STYRNE-NAPIER was a colorized biography written by Penton for the passing of his mentor, Dame Yuliya Styrne. The Dame was a remarkable woman who lived a troubled life, but is a testament to innovation and perseverance. She ranks among one of the most important women in Orenian literature, if not Orenian history. This work was an ode to this cause and symbolizes Penton’s total conviction to equality of genders throughout his life. ~ THE POOR SIDE OF BAKER STREET Published in 1818 Read Here THE POOR SIDE OF BAKER STREET was a book written in honor of Imperial State Army Sergeant Jimmy LeBlanc, who ran the paper company which supplied Penton’s printers. It tells a story that urges against the excesses of urbanization and the continual neglect of the common class in favor of the enriched nobles that plagued the Petrine era. ~ THE SCROLL OF GOSPEL Published in 1824 Read Here Copies Sold in Velec THE SCROLL OF GOSPEL is the third and longest scroll in the Holy Scrolls. With the approval of High Pontiff Jude II, Penton began engraving the Scroll of Gospel in 1812 and it took 12 years to complete. During this time Penton would sit on cathedral floors and muse at the statues of the Exalted to embolden his faith in this lengthy process. After over a decade of work the seven book series was complete, each verse written in pure gold ink. To this day, it is the truest testament to Penton’s engraving expertise. ~ THE LIFE OF MS. CYNTHIA ASHDOWN Published in 1840 Read Here THE LIFE OF MS. CYNTHIA ASHDOWN is Penton’s second longest book, and the first to be written in chapters. It tells the story of commoners in Providence during the Petrine era and focuses on the usual Pentonian tropes that have become apparent in his literature, most notably a sad ending. It has received little scholarly attention but remains a snapshot into the times of Providence and Philip II. ~ THE PHILIPPIAN CHRONCILES Published in 1881 Read Here THE PHILIPPIAN CHRONCILES is Penton's literary magnus opus. It accurately details the reigns of Emperor John VIII, through Emperor Philip III, and into the succession war of Peter IV and Frederick Fratricida. It provides insight into the actual backroom conversations of the imperial government for over five decades. Penton was extensively involved in almost every aspect of government during this time and disclosed all of the imperial secrets that were kept from the public. Through its chapters More importantly to later historians, it provides a series of recommendations that will provide a more stable government and state. Politics & Law THE NENZING PROCLAMATION Published in 1814 Copies Sold in Velec THE NENZING PROCLAMATION was originally issued under Emperor Joseph I and detailed the rights provided to each man. Although Joseph would eventually lose the War of Two Emperors his proclamation became ingrained in Imperial thought during the Petrine era. Penton republished a simplified, colorized, and illustrated document that presented these prolific rights to commoners, who Penton was always the most fervent advocate. It was one of the printing houses’ most sold products up until the rise of New Providence. ~ CONDEMNATIONS OF AN IMMORAL EXECUTION AND HEINOUS TORTURE IN PROVIDENCE Published in 1815 Read Here CONDEMNATIONS OF AN IMMORAL EXECUTION… was a handbill written by Penton on the extrajudicial murder of a Sedanite rebel. After resigning in protest from the Ministry of Justice, where he was an attorney, Penton tore into the unjust and immoral killing of a man by nailing a wig into his skull. Although Penton was an ardent advocate against wigs, he found the practice barbaric. At the time, Penton believed the piece would consign him to a life devoid of politics. However, he was incorrect and it caught the attention of numerous statesmen who courted his assent. ~ THE PAMPHLET OF THE IMPERIAL CORONATION OF JOHN VIII Published in 1815 THE PAMPHLET OF THE IMPERIAL CORONATION OF JOHN VIII was a pamphlet produced by Penton’s printing house at the incitement of the Governorness of the Augustine Palace. Although it is often forgotten due to its insignificance in the literary record, the product was one of the first colorized brochures that was observed in Almaris. Additionally, its production earned Penton the title of Imperial Record Keeper, which he eventually shed due to its frivolous and unproductive nature. ~ THE AMICUS CURIAE BRIEF ON THE JUDICIAL REVIEW OF THE DANGEROUS DRUG ORDINANCE OF 1813 Published in 1815 Read Here THE AMICUS CURIAE BRIEF ON THE JUDICIAL REVIEW OF THE DANGEROUS DRUG ORDINANCE OF 1813 was Penton’s first record produced in the imperial legal system and preceded the first verbal argument held before the Supreme Court of the Empire. In it, Penton argues against the expansion of the state’s authority into the private lives of citizens. Although ultimately losing the case to the state’s attorneys, Penton’s vigor and determination was applauded by many. Notably, this continued to sour relations between Penton and then-Attorney General Charles Galbraith, a trend that continued throughout his life. ~ THE IMPERIAL CALENDAR Published in 1820 Read Here THE IMPERIAL CALENDAR existed before Penton. However, he was the first to colorize, print, and engrave the calendar. Every year a new calendar would be distributed with the same beautiful detail of the year before. Primarily, this was fueled by Penton’s wish to standardize and easily display the imperial year for record keeping purposes. ~ THE NOTICE OF INTERDICTION Published in 1824 Read Here THE NOTICE OF INTERDICTION was the conclusion of the long-running feud between Penton and the Draskovic family which ran the tavern in Providence. Although originally their friend and bookkeeper, Penton went after the family’s corruption alongside the Providential Kovachevs in the city government. This document ordered the closure of the auction on the Draskovic’s property, which belonged to the government and was non-transferrable. ~ THE IMPERIAL TIMEKEEPER’S ASSOCIATION Published in 1826 Imperial Clock Found Here Sigismundic Clock Found Here Balianite Clock Found Here THE IMPERIAL TIMEKEEPER’S ASSOCIATION was founded by Penton in 1826 to more accurately record the time of the Holy Orenian Empire and other states around Almaris. In city centers the ITA was often seen sponsoring clock towers and held the requisite experience to standardize their timings and production. To this day, many use Penton’s clocks to track the time. ~ TEMPERING THE FLAMES Published in 1827 Read Here TEMPERING THE FLAMES was a political handbill made by Penton against the upcoming Risorgimento movement. Although the movement was ultimately unsuccessful for a myriad of reasons, Penton’s advocacy against the intolerance espoused by its proponents made it unattractive to those in government at the time. ~ FEIGNING OPPRESSION: THE IRONY OF OUR NOBLE, ORENIAN DAUGHTERS Published in 1830 Read Here FEIGNING OPPRESSION: THE IRONY OF OUR NOBLE, ORENIAN DAUGHTERS was another political pamphlet written and printed by Penton. Although often decried as one of his greatest blunders, Penton was a fervent detractor against the Rosemoor Bill. However, his criticisms, as expressed in this document, were not over the sexist arguments of his peers. Instead, Penton made the case that the law only benefited the noble women or Oren, not the commoners who were still subject to harsh marriage laws and abuse without recourse. ~ THE IMPERIAL MINT Published in 1836 Read Here THE IMPERIAL MINT was the first recorded instance of paper money being used by the Holy Orenian Empire, and possibly humanity. Each note’s block was personally engraved by Penton and its work was widely proclaimed as a success. Although the Empire never ascended to the Haeseni monetary system that is notable for its successful financing of the government, the Imperial Mint was a remarkable use of Penton’s talent to create an exceptional public product. ~ THE IMPERIAL CHARTER FOR THE CITY OF PROVIDENCE Published in 1841 Read Here THE IMPERIAL CHARTER FOR THE CITY OF PROVIDENCE was another unsuccessful attempt to reform the city government of Providence. Led by Penton as Minister of the Treasury, it fell stagnant like other city governments after only a few years of activity. Penton described the work as "blind optimism" in his later years, decrying any effort to fix the Providential city government as a gambit in which you always lose. ~ THE EDICT OF SERICA Published in 1866 Read Here THE EDICT OF SERICA was Penton's political masterpiece, but one which was ultimately unsuccessful. Originally a simplistic edict of four lines, the intervention of the Count of Temesch transformed the simplistic system into a byzantine and corruptible process that left many confounded at the orders of the Empire. Penton continued to advocate for a system of degrading noble privilege into his later years, but ultimately concluded that the efforts would be dismissed by the rising powers at the time. Miscellaneous THE CURIOUS CASE OF MRS. KLEPT Published in 1809 Read Here THE CURIOUS CASE OF MRS. KLEPT was Penton’s first play, written under the guise of famed playwright Dame Yuliya Styrne (aka Bianca la Fleur) and submitted as part of the company’s playwriting competition. Although it only scored second prize and was never performed on stage, it is a witty period assessment of lawyers in the Petrine era. In kind with his character, it details the discernible corruption that stymied the legal system. ~ THE ALMARIS BUCKETBALL ASSOCIATION Created in 1845 Read Here THE ALMARIS BUCKETBALL ASSOCIATION was the creation of Penton. It formalized existing bucketball leagues and was one of the first sports leagues ever, but it is by far the most notable. Although successors have tried to replicate the success of bucketball, notably folkball, it remains an undisputed fascination for many.

Heartland Folkball League Championships XVI 1914 Heartland Folkball League on the Fields of Valwyck Brought to you by The Miller’s Mark, Good for whatever ales you! The Crows Take Flight! After last season’s ominous message by Heinrik Rarehird of the Grenz Hurlers, many were relieved that the suggestion was literal. Over the course of the past year, the Haeseni King, Georg I, financed the move of the ancient team into the fields surrounding Karosgrad. The Hurlers’ plain white and red shields have now been replaced with the uniquely vibrant orange. However, it is still to be seen if the Hurlers will suffer from the same mediocrity of the Hurlers or if Rarehird’s return will harken in a new era. 1914 Bracket For the first time since its inception in 1899, the Heartland Folkball League Championship Tournament will be held outside the Heartlands. Venturing up north for the first time, at the behest of King Georg I, who the League learned is a fervent Folkball enthusiast, the tents were hoisted around Valwyck near Karosgrad. Gleefully, snow was non-existent these summer days, but the northern winds dulled the usual heat. Many fans found it an excellent relief to the regular broiling they usually endure down south. So, our dearest readers, we come to you in this handbill to recount the Folkball fabulousness that unfolded in the Haeseni lands. As the Black Barons of Velec secured victory last year, they now stand at a precipice with two players reluctant to work together. Likewise, the Upstreeters remain a threat to all teams so long as Charles Fisherman remains the best half in the League. Yet, as always, lots were drawn and matches set. And then the play began the next morn. Game 1 Adrian Black Barons vs Bywater Hedgehogs After last year’s smashing success for the Black Barons of Velec, the enthusiasm was combustible. Meanwhile, the Hedgehogs made it to the semi-finals for the first time since 1911 last year. Both teams seem set on retaining this success, but only one will. Bywater remains with its standard squad led by the Devilish Duo of halfs Richard Longstride and Tegan Smoothhands. Meanwhile, the Black Barons are split between the female-fan-favorite Leo Pold and the upstart Amir-Mickyle of the Qalasheen tribe of Yordanza. As the tournament’s first match began with the ringing of the bell, the players launched from the back into one another, the halflings being put on the back foot due to their short stature. Their offense was stunted as Hugh Heffher was able to break up any synergy between the Devilish Duo of Bywater. Meanwhile, the long shots of Yordanza landed several times. On the other hand, Leo Pold spent most of the game behind halfling shielder Obidiah Longfoot, who prevented Pold from scoring once throughout the entire game. Despite this, Yordanza’s shots sometimes bounce off of the buckethelm of Jerry Applebuck. However, it was only enough to gain Bywater three half-points against the four scored by Yordanza. So, in the end, the Adrians soared to the semi-finals, but discord was still ripe amongst its ranks. How will this fare for the season? How will Bywater adapt, especially with so few halflings alive these days? Game 2 Karosgrad Crows vs Joannesport Goats The Karosgrad Crows were pitted against the Joannesport Goats in their debut game. Coach Filippo Jacoson’s team has been languishing these past seasons with their foot-centric play style, so this match against a relatively aggressive team could go very well or very poorly. For the first time since 1910, the renowned half, Heinrik Rarehird, stepped onto the pitch to lead the Karosgrad Crows. With exceptional choreography, the ex-Hurlers, now Crows, took to the field to perform a chanting dance where they got the orange-clad Crows in the stands to shout, “The Crows Take Flight!” Meanwhile, Louis du Ballon was juggling balls in the corner, his team awkwardly standing behind him. As the match started, it was clear the teams were an off-suited match. The rushing plays of Karosgrad’s Willem Steav and Viktor Berenson in support of Rarehird’s deep tosses were offset by the footwork of Ballon. However, neither ended up returning a point. For most of the game, both teams marched down the field and got close to a net but ended up losing possession or throwing it into the waiting arms of a netter. However, the final minutes saw Steav dive on a ball Ballon was dribbling down the field, tossing it to Rarehird, who then made a desperate shot at the goal. The whole field went silent as it coursed through the air and Pierre Escargot dove for its interception. Yet, his body fell, and the folkball sailed past him, scoring the winning point for the Crows. Game 3 Atrus Stars vs Minitz Mootgoers On the tournament’s second day, the Atrus Stars were set to take on the Minitz Mootgoers. The Mootgoers, since coming under new management following the Minitz Folkball Riot of 1911, have yet to miss a semi-final position. However, the Stars haven’t seen a breakthrough since 1912. Many of their fans are seething at the piling of losses, but Minitz fans are also desperate to reclaim the glory of their 1912 victory season. This year Alfredo Canto was left on the sidelines recovering from a broken ankle which he received at the hands of Charles Fishermen in last year’s opening round. His loss put the team at a significant disadvantage, and the Bianc Cavaliere was forced to pick up the slack of the quicker component of the team’s offense. Throughout the game, the knight in white plate scored three points for his team by marching past the press gang of Mootgoers. Despite this, Halfbert Pocke put on a triumphant display and scored four points on his own with the backup of Reinhart Wilhelm’s shield, pushing away enemies and making plenty of space for maneuvers. Although the netters scored some half-points, the show’s real star was the halfs, as usual. Although the Mootgoers snuck out a close victory next year, with the return of Alfredo Canto, the Stars may finally have an opportunity to have a winning season! Game 4 Barrowton Bannermen vs New Vienne Upstreeters The Barrowton Bannermen may not be the strongest team out there, but they have one thing going for them - the rising half Everett 'Bad Mouth' Tillman. Will he be able to lead his team to victory, or will his lack of coordination prove to be their downfall? On the other hand, the New Vienne Upstreeters are a force to be reckoned with. Led by the exceptional Charles 'the Fish' Fisherman, who can throw the ball precisely, this team has dominated the league with their unmatched skills and strategy. As the first bell rang, the Barrowton Bannermen put up a valiant fight, but it quickly became apparent that their opponents outmatched them. Charles 'the Fish' Fisherman showcased his exceptional talent as he scored not one but two nets for the New Vienne Upstreeters. The crowd roared excitedly as they witnessed his unparalleled skills on the field. The only action Bannerman fans got from this game was from Louis 'Lasso' Longburkes, who knocked a single Fish toss over the net and scored the sole half-point for the team. As the time dwindled and the tension built, the New Vienne Upstreeters held their ground, ultimately securing a hard-fought victory. It was a moment of triumph for Charles 'the Fish' Fisherman and his team, who once again proved why they were among the best teams. Contrastingly, the Bannermen have a lot of room to develop. As the team owner, the Right Honorable Sir Cornelieus Llewellyn Fortescue Smyth XII cannot be unseated from his half position but acts as an impediment to his team. Will they be able to rid themselves of this defect? Will shielder Horace 'Dusty' Foreman retire and make way for new blood? Semi-Finals 1 Adrian Black Barons vs Karosgrad Crows On the penultimate day of the tournament, the fans of the north flocked to the first-ever HFL semi-final held in the north. In the fields below Valwyck, the Karosgrad fans piled around the field to watch their team face off against the previous year’s champions: The Black Barons. By contrast, the massive droves mainly blocked out Adrian fans, which became noticeable when Leo Pold’s army of female fans was not seen on the sidelines. As Leo Pold slothed onto the field, saddened by the lack of feminine shrieks, he was overshadowed by the tall farfolkian Amir-Mickyle Yordanza. Meanwhile, the entrance of star half Heinrik Rarehird for Karosgrad brought the fanfare to a climatic jamboree, as three carts were flipped in anticipation of the team’s victory. The opening bell set the teams off against one another Yordanza started winning possession after possession. However, Baldemar Baltsoeng and Andrik Lothar, the Crows’ netters, hit down shot after shot from the upstart. On the other hand, Leo Pold grew increasingly angry with the flaunting of Yordanza and sulked about the pitch, unwilling to play and to leave others open to double coverage. By the end of the match, the only score delivered was by the Crows’ netters, who swatted one of Yordanza’s shots over the net and scored a half-point. Meanwhile, Leo Pold had taken to leaning on the railing and heckling his team. What a diva! How low has last season’s most valuable folk fallen to be behaving in this manner?! Regardless, the Crows sailed through to the final and this marked a triumphal comeback by the ex-Hurlers from obsoletism to the brink of victory. Will Rarehird carry the team to a championship in its opening season? Will the King of Haense be impressed with his team’s performance? Only time will tell. Semi-Finals 2 Minitz Mootgoers vs New Vienne Upstreeters In the afternoon of the third day, the Minitz Mootgoers took on the New Vienne Upstreeters. Charles Fisherman, as usual, had been dominating the tournament and was now pitted against Halfbert Pocke and his shielder Reinhart Wilhelm for Minitz. The Upstreeters, without a coach, were left entirely under the control of the Fish himself. What devilish tricks could be employed? As the match began with the ringing of the bell, the Upstreeters rushed Reinhart Wilhelm. Four men, except for one netter, piled onto the man and began a beating that left him broken on the ground. Halfbert Pocke managed to score a goal amongst this chaos but was surprised to find that several plays later, he was the victim of the same strategy. Both were carried off the field on a litter. With the elimination of both of the Mootgoers’ stars, despite the protestations of Coach Gebhard von Minitz from the sidelines, the Upstreeters quickly overwhelmed the three remaining men. They marched back from a deficit to lead by two points when the final bell rang. Although the play was undoubtedly underhanded, and some argue illegal due to the obvious head trauma the two men sustained, the officials did not issue any penalties for the team, citing that the injuries to the head were sustained from “contact with the ground, not contact with other players.” Minitz fans disagree, so let’s just hope there is no riot to report next year! Championships Karosgrad Crows vs New Vienne Upstreeters The big finale to the sixteenth championship of the Heartland Folkball League was a climatic challenge of the Karosgrad Crows against the New Vienne Upstreeters. If the Crows win, this would be a triumphant return for Rarehird. In contrast, this would be the sixth championship for the Upstreeters, making them three higher than the next closest team, the now-defunct Florentine Bulls. Notably, the Hurlers, now Crows, have a storied history with the Upstreeters. Vienne’s coach, Greg Miller, was banned from the League after he paid Sedanite Roberto il Toro to grievously injure Heinrik Rarehird, the Hurlers’ star half, to avoid their return to the championship in 1910. Rarehird took years to recover and rebuild his shoulder strength, which will likely never be the same again. Once again, the fields were swarmed by masses of orange and black figures, massing to support their team. King Georg was rumored to be in attendance. He had sent barrels of wine so significant to the field in anticipation of his team’s victory that the officials had to house them in Valwyck to avoid them taking up the majority of the field and tent areas. The teams squared up against one another. Charles’ the Fish’ Fisherman approached the midline to extend a hand towards Rarehird. Rarehird approached, and we can only imagine what thoughts went through his head. The rumors that Fisherman had been involved with his targeting all those years ago must have been confirmed as accurate to him, despite the League not issuing punishment. So, at that moment, Rarehird extended one hand and then rocked Fisherman with a haymaker to the face, knocking the man on his back. Officials rushed the field, and Rarehird was ejected. He was drugged off the field, screaming, “I will get you back, Fish! We were friends! And you paid to ruin my life!” The Fish recovered, and play began, but the words certainly shook him. Every move he made was matched by the jeers of the Crows’ fans. He scored enough to tie the team with the Crows, who had remarkable plays by secondary half Willem Steav. However, in the last seconds of the game, a missed net play by Andrik Lothar allowed an opening that Fisherman exploited to score the game-winning net. However, the crowd did not cheer; fans instead took to shouting Rarehird’s name at the victorious Upstreeters. That following day, a day usually filled with celebration, was without the Upstreeters, who had packed and left for New Vienne in the middle of the night. Instead, that day was proclaimed Rarehird Day, and Karosgradians flocked to the fields to hoist their champion, who, while he did not have a trophy, was their hero! Congratulations to the Winners! of the Heartland Folkball League Championships XVI THE NEW VIENNE UPSTREETERS! List of Champions 1899 ……… Petran Suns 1900 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1901 ……… Florentine Bulls 1902 ……… Florentine Bulls 1903 ……… Florentine Bulls 1904 ……… Grenz Hurlers 1905 ……… Petran Suns 1906 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1907 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1908 ……… Grenz Hurlers 1909 ……… Bywater Hedgehogs 1910 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1911 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1912 ……… Minitz Mootgoers 1913 ……… Adrian Black Barons 1914 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters (This Year) List of Most Valuable Folk 1908 (Joint MVF)……… Heinrik Rarehird (Grenz Hurlers) 1908 (Joint MVF)……… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters) 1909 …………………… Jerry Applebuck (Bywater Hedgehogs) 1910 …………………… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters) 1911 …………………… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters) 1912 …………………… Gither von Volburg (Minitz Mootgoers) 1913 …………………… Leo Pold (Adrian Black Barons) 1914 …………………… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters) Details on Team Changes The Karosgrad Crows The Karosgrad Crows were formed in 1914 when the Grenz Hurlers moved with the support of the Haeseni crown under King Georg I. The Hurlers predated Folkball and traced their roots to the ancient Haeseni sport of Stonneball. The game was similar to Folkball in its scoring but differed with its intense violence and heavy ball made of hewn stone. Its founding members or date are unknown, but the team is known for its brutality and holds the record for most ejections in a single game, with three. They were initially called the Grenz Highlanders but changed their name in 1882. ROSTER: Shielder - Viktor Berenson Halfback - Heinrik Rarehird Halfback - Willem Steav Netkeeper - Baldemar Baltsoeng Netkeeper - Andrik Lothar Bench - Everard Franz Feodorson Bench - Seth Hairytooth Bench - Eckehard Kranz Coach - Friedrich Meier

Heartland Folkball League Championships XV 1913 Heartland Folkball League on the Fields of Joannesport Brought to you by The Miller’s Mark, Good for whatever ales you! The Goats Move… Again?! Don’t blink, or you may miss the Sedanite Goats moving again! Like a band of lost sheep, this team seems to be waddling about the Heartlands, trying to find a home. In six years, the team has moved from Florentine to Sedan, Sedan to Petra, and now Petra to Joannesport in Aaun. Talk about a wild hayride! Let’s hope coach Filippo Jacoson’s footers are willing to put up with the move or if this team may collapse. 1913 Bracket If Joannesport is good enough for the Goats, it is good enough for Folkball! That was the idea behind moving the 1913 tournament to the lonely lands of Sedan. However, the fields surrounding the city still lay barren, so the players enjoyed the perfect padding of the loamy soil. The Fifteenth Heartland Folkball League Championship Tournament took place amongst the untilled swards between the hedgerows. So to our leal readers, we come to you in this handbill to recount the glories of Almaris’ favorite and only sport! Don’t let anyone else tell you their sport matters because this is the best! After last year’s upset victory by the resurgent Mootgoers, will we see a new challenger rise? Will the Upstreeters return with a vengeance after losing Bloodshield and coach Greg Miller in 1911? Only the words on these parchments will tell you. So, as always, lots were drawn and matches set. And then the play began the next morn. Game 1 Grenz Hurlers vs Minitz Mootgoers On the first morning of the first day of the fifteenth tournament, there was a sudden shock to the fans who rimmed the pitch, expecting a match between the Hurlers and the Mootgoers. From the Hurlers’ tent came the team, led by none other than Heinrik Rarehird! His triumphant return made disillusioned Hurlers fans shout with excitement and the Mootgoers quake. However, he did not take his place on the pitch but on the sidelines with Coach Friedrich Meier. It appeared that Rarehird was back but not playing. So, the officials rang the bell, and the game launched. Each man pushed from his downward stance and rushed to the middle. Despite the morale boost provided by Rarehird, he can hardly be replaced within the Hurlers’ depth. Halfbert Pocke marched down the field and scored two points early on, a lead from which the Hurlers could never catch. On the bright side, though still admittedly dim, the Hurlers’ netter Andrik Lothar deflected one pass from Pocke and scored the team’s only half-point. By the final bell, the Hurlers trailed by two, but Rarehird headed for the team’s tent and released a cage of crows. Although many were confused by the action, it is rumored it is symbolic of next year’s tournament, where crows may fly once more. Game 2 Joannesport Goats vs Bywater Hedgehogs In their third city in three years, the Goats were dismally underperforming from the outset. Netter Alnaurd Michaelson, although not a very good player, did not show up for the match and is supposedly married to a Petran wench he fell in love with. What a fool?! To give up folkball for a girl?! Go and touch the field’s grass! As for the match, the four remaining Goats attempted to stop the Hedgehog’s rushes and were somewhat successful. However, coach Filippo Jacoson’s reluctance to allow players to use their hands continuously impeded their offensive capabilities. Instead, the young Louis du Ballon is only sixteen and can barely compete with these elder folkballers. The Devilish Duo of Richard Longstride and Tegan Smoothhands for Bywater scored one point near the final bell that sailed them to victory. While it was not a decisive win, it gives Bywater a little hope that they are no longer one of the worst teams in the HFL. Game 3 Barrowton Bannermen vs Adrian Black Barons The Bannermen were greatly disappointed when they drew lots and again found their pair to be the Adrian Black Barons. In this rematch from last year’s tournament, the fate of the Bannerman was almost inevitable. Of note, the Barons had spent much of their off-season time scouring the lands near Old Savoy and the far lands of the Qalasheen to discover athletic men, and so they did! The towering behemoth of a farfolk named Amir-Mickyle Yordanza waltzed onto the court. The rookie replaced Heinrik Franzoc, who had hurt his knee training when Leo Pold grew wroth at Franzoc stealing the attention of his female fans. Who knows when that injury will heal! The Bannerman’s offense seemed to have slightly improved, as was evident in the first half of the game. The team’s captain-owner-and ‘star’ half, the Right Honorable Sir Cornelieus Llewellyn Fortescue Smyth XII, was still his characteristically aloof self. He swung his arms wildly around the middle of the pitch, unable to see due to his hulkingly obstructive plate armor and armet. However, salvation came from Everett ‘Bad Mouth’ Tillman. Although he still, true to his name, threw insults at every player he passed, he scored the first two points the Bannermen have ever received in the HFL. Despite this effort, the star power of Leo Pold and the newly-played Yordanza dominated the game. Yordanza scored four, and Pold managed to wrack in the final two, much to the chagrin of Pold, who is not used to sharing the spotlight. By the end of the match, the Bannermen were improving but not anywhere ready to face the Barons. Opposingly, the Barons were delighted with their new player’s height and exceptional long-distance shots that easily sailed through the air, but tension brewed between Yordanza and Pold! Game 4 New Vienne Upstreeters vs Atrus Stars With the Barons watching in anticipation from the sides, the Upstreeters came up against the Stars on the second day’s final match. Both of these teams have impressive records. The Stars are the first fateful team to duel against the Upstreeters since the debacle of 1911 when their coach, Greg Miller, and experimentally rogue half, Thoric Bloodshield, were banned from the league for life. From the first bell, it was clear why Charles ‘the Fish’ Fisherman is considered one of the best in history. With ease, he had scored three goals by the end of the first half and held the Stars to a single half-point when netter Rafail Moor deflected one of his shots over the net. The Bianc Cavaliere tried to get an offensive movement going in the second half but was stunted by double coverage by Vienne’s Jaremy Smith and Simon Bishop. Towards the end of the match, Alfredo Canto attempted to cover the Fish. Still, he was so severely juked by the man that his ankle was dislocated, and he had to be taken off the pitch. With the final bell, the Stars trailed by four, and the Upstreeters returned to the HFL with a bang (or a pop if you heard Canto’s ankle). Semi-Finals 1 Minitz Mootgoers vs Bywater Hedgehogs Minitz came into the semi-finals with an aura of swagger and nonchalantism. Being faced up against the Hedgehogs was how they began their 1912 road to the championship cup, and they shut them out then. Similarly, the Hedgehogs had only just managed to beat a team of four people when they had five. Coach Gebhard von Minitz described it to one fan before the match as “a cake walk, well, y’know, if cake could walk. This would be it, if it could. But it can’t.” - Wise words! But as the game commenced, it was clear this was no cakewalk (if cake could walk). Halfbert Pocke was able to score four goals throughout the game. Still, the Devilish Duo seemed hyperactive and achieved a matching four, tying the game up by the end of the second half. Amazingly, the halflings had tied one of the best teams in the HFL to a stalemate after two halves. Once the officials convened, they began a third half that was sudden death, and both teams played as if their lives were on the line. The small halfling cheer section erupted in chants that showed their coordination, and the Mootgoers fans began to have chugging competitions in the stands, showing their… team spirit? With a pass from new half Gottfried Biermann to Pocke, he positioned himself for the winning goal. However, the fierce toss bounced off the bucket helm of Bywater’s netter Jerry Applebuck. It landed in the middle of the field. Halfling shielder Obidiah Longfoot threw his shield aside and ran forward, scooping up the ball. His tiny legs carried him far, and he threw the ball at the net with all his bodily might. And then, with minimal effort, netter Conrad Drerad patted it over the net’s crossbar and scored the winning half-point for Minitz! What a let down! Semi-Finals 2 Adrian Black Barons vs New Vienne Upstreeters The third day’s evening match was eventful, to say the least. King Charles was rumored to be watching from on high with the Prince of Sedan, and the New Vienne Upstreeters did not want to disappoint. However, the match did not even get started before it ended. As the Barons marched onto the field and fans swooned at Leo Pold’s gorgeous face, the crowds grew silent. Another hulking giant, the same height as Thoric Bloodshield, years before headed up the Upstreeter’s team. In fact, he looked the same as Bloodhsield except for his long blonde hair. Officials rushed the field, and Coach Rikhein Ingrid demanded to inspect if the giant was wearing a wig. Hugh Heffher, remembering his severe injuries outside the walls of Vienne, hid in the Barons’ tent. After close inspection, and by that, we mean the officials pulled on the giant’s hair, it was discovered the giant was Thoric Bloodshield wearing a wig! What a disgusting thing to wear!!! The officials ejected the entire team for conspiring with Bloodshield’s ruse and gave the victory to the Barons by having Leo Pold jaunt down the field and lightly toss a ball into the opposing net. His female fans rushed the field and delivered copious amounts of kisses that stained the man’s face with lipstick he was unable to remove for days. Yordanza was quite disgruntled that the coach had chosen Pold instead of him to score the symbolic victory over Vienne. Championships Minitz Mootgoers vs Adrian Black Barons The two dominant cities of Aaun met in Joannesport on the penultimate day of the tournament’s festivities to determine a new champion of folkball. Over the past year, the Barons underwent some significant changes that reframed their chances of success. Coach Rikhein Ingird became a good friend of the duke after saving him from choking on a piece of meat when the duke left his bedchambers for a midnight snack. After that, the two worked in tandem to reform the team, recruit Amir-Mickyle Yordanza from the southern desert, and move the Bydin brothers from bench positions into fieldhand positions like waterbucket boy and head shoe cleaner. Meanwhile, the Mootgoers have continued to train their folkballers in memory of Gither von Volburg and build one of the most ravenous fanbases in folkball history. Gebhard von Minitz stated this week that sales of Mootgoer merchandise have quadrupled since he took over management. This includes colored tunics, branded poleaxes, and stuffed morningstars for the kids! These teams are some of the most formidable in the HFL, so it is no surprise they ended up facing off in this year’s final. As the opening bell rang, it was clear there was a new dynamic, though. Amir-Mickyle Yordanza, a new player in the league, began to shoot shots that were believed to be impossible. From behind the half-court, the rookie could precisely place shots into the net and always be where the netters least expected it. Netters Conrad Drerad and Stam Urher seemed almost powerless to stop the onslaught and allowed five nets from Yordanza. They only managed to knock one of his fifteen shots on goal over the net, scoring Minitz a half-point. Halfbert Pocke spent most of his time brawling with Leo Pold, who wanted to keep the Mootgoer’s star off Yordanza and the ball. Pold was successful and was cheered on by his flock of female fanatics. In fact, they grabbed Pocke shortly after the second bell and drug him over the rails, eliminating him from the game entirely. This started a massive brawl between the Minitzers and the Velecian women who slashed at faces with sharpened nails. Officials did not stop the game for this distraction, and the brawl was still ongoing by the time the game had concluded. Both teams were snuck out to their own tents by HFL guard forces, deemed necessary since the events of 1910. However, in the Barons’ tent, it is rumored that Yordanza and Pold got into a physical altercation about Yordanza not knowing his place and stealing the rightful glory of Pold. So, the Black Barons won their first-ever championship in 1913! With a new star player, will Leo Pold want to share the spotlight? Will Yordanza stay with Velec or seek another team? Will the Hurlers become crows? Will Bywater still exist next year? But yet, these questions will remain unanswered. So, we will wait until next year, dearest readers and Folkball enthusiasts. Until next year! Congratulations to the Winners! of the Heartland Folkball League Championships XV THE ADRIAN BLACK BARONS! List of Champions 1899 ……… Petran Suns 1900 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1901 ……… Florentine Bulls 1902 ……… Florentine Bulls 1903 ……… Florentine Bulls 1904 ……… Grenz Hurlers 1905 ……… Petran Suns 1906 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1907 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1908 ……… Grenz Hurlers 1909 ……… Bywater Hedgehogs 1910 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1911 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1912 ……… Minitz Mootgoers 1913 ……… Adrian Black Barons (This Year) List of Most Valuable Folk 1908 (Joint MVF)……… Heinrik Rarehird (Grenz Hurlers) 1908 (Joint MVF)……… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters) 1909 …………………… Jerry Applebuck (Bywater Hedgehogs) 1910 …………………… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters) 1911 …………………… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters) 1912 …………………… Gither von Volburg (Minitz Mootgoers) 1913 …………………… Leo Pold (Adrian Black Barons) Details on Team Changes The Joannesport Goats The Joannesport Goats were originally the Florentine Bulls, founded in 1878. After suffering from the decaying state of the town and facilities in Florentine, coach Filippo Jacoson moved the team and what players he could bring along to Sedan in 1909. However, the support was minimized as the lands of Sedan faded, and many peasants left to find better fields. The Prince eventually moved his court to Petra in 1912, and the Goats combined their shield with the Petran Suns, whose sole remaining player had moved in 1911 to Barrowton. Within the same year the team relocated again, this time inside of Aaun to the town of Joannesport. The team is known for its unusual fixation on footwork and not passing or scoring with the ball through their hands. ROSTER: Shielder - Robert il Niro Halfback - Louis du Ballon Halfback - Jean-Luke Bicard Netkeeper - Hildebrando Heinz II Netkeeper - Pierre Escargot Coach - Filippo Jacoson The Adrian Black Barons ROSTER: Shielder - Hugh Heffher Halfback - Leo Pold Halfback - Heinrik Franzoc Netkeeper - Alec Ratiborison Netkeeper - Grzegorz Gadzinka Bench - Amir-Mickyle Yordanza Coach - Rikhein Ingrid

Heartland Folkball League Championships XIV 1912 Heartland Folkball League on the Cliff-Fields of Hohengarten Brought to you by The Miller’s Mark, Good for whatever ales you! The Suns Set Over the Mountains & the Goats Take Petra! Barrowton Bannermen join the HFL! In a blur of confusion and anger, the Petran Suns, after years of neglect following the devastating Cuck’s War, departed from the riverlands. The sole remaining player of the Petran Suns, Shielder Craig Gregerson, announced he intended to join the Barrowton Bannermen. The Bannermen were a local team, but now coached by Gregerson, they intend to take the HFL by storm. Although disliked by other minor league teams, their entry shows that, in time, the sport may very well entertain more crews and even spread the Heartland sport westward. Who knows, by the time this author is forty and near the end of his life, we may even see elvenfolk passing around the folkball! That would be a sight?! However, Petran peasants did not sulk for long, as the Sedan Goats moved with their Prince months later. The once proud lands of Sedan now were squaller. In the slightly less squallered lands along the Petra, the Goats adopted a new shield and new players, firing much of the dead weight they had held onto since their move from Florentine in 1909. Now, longstead coach Filippo Jacoson intends to use footwork and speed to defeat the passing games employed by many teams. The Minitz Folkball Riot of 1911 Minitz Under New Management! After the appearance of the Mootgoer’s owners, a bunch of Kralto-Malinorian outlanders, violence erupted in Minitz. With a loss to the Balianite Stars in the first round, the emotions of another loss enraged fans. Despite the vows of Coach Franz Bauerbecken to score at least once per game, the lack of any championship appearance in over four years led to the cataclysmic team revolt of 1911. The Kralto-Malinorian owners were brought to the city in chains, surrounded by notable figures such as Reinhart Wilhelm and Halfbert Pocke, who remained loyal to the people during the riots. All four Malinorians were defenestrated multiple times, hanged, drawn, and quartered by the vicious frenzied sea of those wearing green, blue, and yellow. Their chippies, which raked in vast sums of coin after each loss, were burnt to the ground. Coach Bauerbecken was spared this misery and banished from Minitz and the sport of Folkball under the penalty of death. Some say he wandered west to the lands of the elvenfolk. Some say he ended up in Karosgrad with a team of crows, preparing for his comeback. However, I heard from my fifth cousin that he worked with Iblees to build a team of grumpkins and devils! Best beware of those! Collectively, the Mootgoers underwent drastic changes in their leadership. Ownership was proclaimed to be shared among each Reinmarian tribesman of Minitz. Never again would outlanders run a team of Heartlanders in Minitz! Gebhard von Minitz was declared the new coach, and Stam Urher replaced Angela Ziegler at the net. Likewise, a young player from the fields was brought up named Gottfried Biermann. He is positioned to take over as half from von Volburg upon his retirement in 1915. 1912 Bracket 1912 was a year to remember! The Suns disbanded, the Bannermen took their place, the Sedan Goats went to Petra with their pauper Prince, and the Mootgoers were essentially a new team after their riots. High above the homelands, the Heartland Folkball League (HFL) hosted its first game on the mountainsides near Hohengarten, the old Azor manor. Fans from across the Heartlands and beyond flocked to the fields, and only a few were drunk enough to walk off the cliffs into the valleys below. So to our leal readers, we come to you in this handbill to recount the glorious Thirteenth Championship Tournament of Folkball, the sport of the Heartlands! After last year’s double ban against the Upstreeters’ Greg Miller and Thoric Bloodshield, there is a considerable gap in Vienne’s lineup and strategy. Without Miller, how will they go on?! Yet, as always, lots were drawn and matches set. And then the play began the next morn. Game 1 Atrus Stars vs New Vienne Upstreeters With the loss of their giant and coach after last year’s championship, the New Vienne Upstreeters were only left with the magnificent arm of Charles ‘the Fish’ Fisherman. However, he was nowhere to be seen. In fact, the entire Upstreeter team was absent from the tournament. Perhaps it was in rejection of the ban of Miller or Bloodshield? Maybe it was a necessary break so they could recuperate from such a loss. Whatever the reason, the officials did not care. After a few hours of waiting, the Stars were awarded a win as a folkball was symbolically tossed over the net to grant them a half point. Atrus’ coach, Kaream Jabar, commented that it was a “deplorable showing from New Vienne to be this cowardly.” He was supported by the boos from the few Upstreeters fans. Game 2 Barrowton Bannermen vs Adrian Black Barons As tensions increased between the two towns off the pitch, they certainly erupted on the pitch. Craig Gregerson led a team of minor players onto the field, but they looked as if they were veterans of the HFL. From the first bell, any onlooker could tell this would not be an easy win, as the Barons had expected. Barrowton’s strongman and shielder, Horace ‘Dusty’ Foreman, had Hugh Heffher in a headlock multiple times through the game and was even seen putting fingers up Heffher’s nose. However, officials claim this did not happen. Nevertheless, you do not win games based off of shieldwork. You win it on the net and pass work. Barrowton’s halfs were a sight as neither seemed to realize the game’s purpose. Everett ‘Bad Mouth’ Tillman spent the entire game cursing and using insults to distract Barons’ Heinrik Franzoc. However, the Right Honorable Sir Cornelieus Llewellyn Fortescue Smyth XII, the second half of Barrowton, was defenseless against Velec star: Leo Pold. To the adornment of his shouting women-fans on the sidelines, Pold scored three points by the end of the game and flexed his impressive muscles. Meanwhile, Smyth was seen haplessly moving about in his full plate armor, unable to see the quick movements from the thin slit in his helmet’s front. He was, if anything, an obstacle to movement moreso than a player. Despite this, Smyth is a descendant of the Bannermen’s founder and, in fact, owns the team. His removal is unlikely as a result. The only bright side beside Dusty’s shieldwork was the Bannermen’s Louis ‘Lasso’ Longburkes. With three half points being the Bannermen’s only result, Longburkes has established himself as one of the best netters to play. Their development as a player will be considerably judged. Game 3 Minitz Mootgoers vs Bywater Hedgehogs Under the direction of Gebhard von Minitz, a former player for the Mootgoers, Minitz was primed to surge this year. The metaphorical and literal fat had been cut from the team’s roster. On the other hand, Bywater remains complicit with being invited every year. However, you cannot say the fans of Minitz had the same reaction. They started at least seven brawls during the ongoings of the match, claiming the half-shits had started it by being so short. On the other hand, the halflings claim the Minitzers kept trying to rest tankards on their head and calling them “the perfect little beer rests!” From the opening bell, the Mootgoers were a different team. Halfbert Pocke took to running the folkball throughout the game and skirted around the desperate Devilish Duo, Bywater’s Richard Longstride and Tegan Smoothhands. The only salvation the halflings had came in the disoriented but practical net work of Jerry Applebuck. His buckethelm knocked fifteen attempts away from the goal and set a record for the most blocks in HFL history. However, the Devilish Duo could not get started. Reinhart Wilhelm smothered them with his shield and was seen running through them with such force that Smoothands retreated from the field in the game’s last minutes to seek medical attention. Nonetheless, the game ended, and the fans of Minitz saw a glint of hope for the first time since their team began in 1908. Game 4 Grenz Hurlers vs Petran Goats The beleaguered Goats of Sedan managed to find refuge in the recently abandoned fields of Petra. While it saved them from relegation or disbandment, the fields of Petra were already dried of talent and life far before their arrival. Meanwhile, the Grenz Hurlers are still actively measuring a potential flight to the north, where Karosgrad beckons for a team. As the officials rang the bell, the teams took off for the folkball. Louis du Ballon masterfully passed the ball around on the ground, using the unconventional footwork he is known for. Jean-Luke Bicard of the Goats was quick to pick up anything Ballon passed him, which drew screeches from coach Filippo Jacoson who told Bicard to “leave the fottuta ball on the ground, you idiota!” This confusion in strategy led to the Hurlers slipping by with two nets that won the game. Although Heinrik Rarehird had not returned from his injury sustained against, now banned, Sedanite Roberto il Toro, the team was still in capable hands with halfs Seth Hairytooth and Willem Steav maintaining their scoring capabilities. However, will the Hurlers ever have a chance at the championship cup without Rarehird? How many more tournaments will the legend sit out for? Semi-Finals 1 Atrus Stars vs Adrian Black Barons These two teams played each other twice, once in 1908 and once in 1910. Since then, they have changed very little. Both times, the Barons managed to win against the Stars, but will this year bode the same for the southern exiles? The Bianc Cavaliere started the match by lifting Leo Pold into the air and out of the fenced pitch. Although Pold tried to return, officials informed him that once a folkballer leaves the enclosure, they are barred from returning. However, the women-fans of Pold were not so forgiving. Within minutes they had marched onto the field and began to remove the armor of the Balianite Cavaliere, some even attempting to scratch his eyes out. Despite this, order was restored, and the Cavaliere was back in the match, although notably missing all of his white armor. Hugh Heffher took advantage of the fact and began to bully the knight into corners where he would lean on him with his shield. Meanwhile, Baron’s half, Heinrik Franzoc, with assistance from netter Alec Ratiborison, scored Adria’s sole goal. By the end of the second half, the Stars were down one point, and it was only with the exceptional juking of Alfredo Canto that they squeaked past Ratiborison and scored not one but two nets. Canto, right at the end of the match to clinch victory from a draw and overtime, used Heffher’s shield to launch himself in the air towards the net and throw himself and the ball entirely in. With that miraculous feat, the Barons were knocked out of the championship match for the first time in two years! Better luck next time, Velecians! Semi-Finals 2 Minitz Mootgoers vs Grenz Hurlers The third day's evening match was to pit the Minitz Mootgoers against the Grenz Hurlers. After the second day's victory over the halflings, the Minitzer turned out in force. An endless expanse of green and blue filled the sidelines, so much that many Hurlers fans had to climb the cliffs above the field to see their team play. The old blocking strategies the Mootgoers were known for must have gone out of the window because they took to pressing the Hurlers from the moment the first bell rang. Reinhart Wilhelm was seen swinging his shield like a hammer, making considerable space for Halfbert Pocke to pop shot after shot on the net. Although not all of them found their home, thanks to the net work of Alec Ratiborison, four were correctly delivered on target. This put Minitz in an impressive lead that the Hurlers could not catch. Although Seth Hairytooth managed to score a single net against the Mootgoers by the final bell, that was all the Grenzers could come up with. They retreated off the field and almost immediately were seen heading on wagons for Karosgrad. Coach Friedrich Meier refused to comment on the move's significance, but Gebhard von Minitz had a few words for the crowds after the win. He proclaimed from the middle of the pitch, "we beat them so hard they are gonna turn into crows! This year is our year!" It was met with the volatile cheers of Minitz's fans. All that was left was to secure the final victory. Championships Atrus Stars vs Minitz Mootgoers The morning matchup between the Atrus Stars and the Minitz Mootgoers signified the first time Minitz had been to the championships and the second time for Stars, who only appeared in their unsuccessful bid against the Bywater Hedgehogs in the odd year of 1909. The crisp, thin air of the Arentanian mountains carried the sound of Balianite priests singing hymns throughout the previous night and the breaking of the fast. The Minizters answered with the catchy Reinmarian tune, “Leon Barclay is Still Alive.” Officials attempted to stop the singing so others could sleep but were shouted down and tied up to trees on the cliffsides in several cases. By noon, the teams had met on the field and warmed their arms with practice. With little warning, the officials mistakenly rang the bell, and the teams jumped on the gaffe to start the match. The pitch quickly turned into a brawl that included even the netters. Reinhart Wilhelm emerged with the ball from the initial pile and swung his shield to bat away opponents. He attempted to net the ball from the middle of the field, but with a tink off the top rail, it soared over. With that, the Stars took the lead with a half point. Play continued until the Bianc Cavaliere made an off-kilter shot that he later blamed on his bent breastplate impeding his throwing arm. Minitz’s netter, Conrad Drerad, managed to perfectly deflect the charged shot over the net to tie the game with a half point each. The Cavaliere later called out Adria’s Leo Pold for this failure and challenged him to a duel. Pold sent back a letter filled with human excrement and a rose with all its petals removed. The significance, we have no idea. Was it funny, though? Absolutely! A very Adrian affair! As the game approached the final bell, it was tied, a half to a half. An unusual third round would need to be instituted. However, just as the officials began to prepare for overtime play, there was a sudden push by Gither von Volburg, the old man of Minitz. Despite being 58, which is an archaic amount of years for a peasant, he picked up a dropped folkball by Stars’ shielder Alekos Georgopoulos. He rushed forward at speed unknown to other elders. However, the Atrusian netters Rafail Moor and Tahir Omer stood before him. He paused and then fell to the ground gripping his chest. Moor and Omer rushed forward to check on the grey-haired man, a legend of folkball in his own time. And then he looked at them both, crouched over him, with clear eyes and a wide smile. For behind them, Minitz’s star half, Halfbert Pocke, picked up the slowly rolling ball and chucked it into the net. With that, the bell rang, and Minitzers rushed the field. Von Volburg danced in front of the two bewildered southerners and was lifted high into the air and praised as a hero and a masterful trickster. Even now, my nephews call feigning injury to gain an advantage “pulling a Volburg.” As the fans carried Volburg off to the victory tents, he was awarded the cup of the Most Valuable Folk. He is said to have drank from it all night and into the morning, where he wandered home to Minitz. However, the HFL is sad to announce that von Volburg died several weeks later from his old age, found surrounded by women, wine, and the championship cup of the league. So, as the bittersweet ending of one of Folkball’s least likely heroes, a man who played back when Philip III was still about, this handbill closes. The Minizters got their win, but the Upstreeter’s absence creates more questions than it provides answers. Will they be back next year? What tomfoolery will be about? But yet we will wait until next year, dearest readers and Folkball enthusiasts. Until next year! Congratulations to the Winners! of the Heartland Folkball League Championships XIV THE MINITZ MOOTGOERS! List of Champions 1899 ……… Petran Suns 1900 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1901 ……… Florentine Bulls 1902 ……… Florentine Bulls 1903 ……… Florentine Bulls 1904 ……… Grenz Hurlers 1905 ……… Petran Suns 1906 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1907 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1908 ……… Grenz Hurlers 1909 ……… Bywater Hedgehogs 1910 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1911 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1912 ……… Minitz Mootgoers (This Year) List of Most Valuable Folk 1908 (Joint MVF)……… Heinrik Rarehird (Grenz Hurlers) 1908 (Joint MVF)……… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters) 1909 …………………… Jerry Applebuck (Bywater Hedgehogs) 1910 …………………… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters) 1911 …………………… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters) 1912 …………………… Gither von Volburg (Minitz Mootgoers) Rest in Peace Gither von Volburg 1854-1912 Gither von Volburg started playing Folkball in 1861 at the age of seven. He was not particularly adept with running, passing, shielding, or netting. However, he was known as a man who could trick his way into any net or bed, for a matter of fact. Although once a loyal imperial, he was wounded fighting for Frederick I in 1870 by remnants in the Grenz. He lost four fingers on his left hand and most assumed any chance he had at being a successful folkballer was lost. However, von Volburg never gave up and was instrumental in the rise of the Minitz Mootgoers into the Heartland Football League in 1908 when he was four and fifty years of age. Although often forgotten behind notable Mootgoer half Halfbert Pocke, his crowning achievement was his deception against Balianite netters in the 1912 championship that allowed Pocke to score the winning goal. He died shortly after, surrounded by the things he loved: women, wine, and the folkball championship cup. Details on Team Changes The Petran Goats The Petran Goats were originally the Florentine Bulls, founded in 1878. After suffering from the decaying state of the town and facilities in Florentine, coach Filippo Jacoson moved the team and what players he could bring along to Sedan in 1909. Although a hastily made plan, the team has the backing of the Prince and his coffers. However, the support was minimized as the lands of Sedan faded, and many peasants left to find better fields. The Prince eventually moved his court to Petra in 1912, and the Goats combined their shield with the Petran Suns, whose sole remaining player had moved in 1911 to Barrowton. The team is known for its unusual fixation on footwork and not passing or scoring with the ball through their hands. ROSTER: Shielder - Robert il Niro Halfback - Louis du Ballon Halfback - Jean-Luke Bicard Netkeeper - Alnaurd Michaelson Netkeeper - Pierre Escargot Coach - Filippo Jacoson The Barrowton Bannermen The Barrowton Bannermen were originally a local folkball team named the Barrowland Bowman, founded by Sir Cornelieus Llewellyn Fortescue Smyth X in 1902. They remained a local team until late-1911 when the sole remaining player of the Petran Suns, Craig Gregerson, became their coach and negotiated their rise to the HFL. Although the newest addition to the league, the Bannerman show promise in their unusual use of concealed props and tools, including lassos and something they refer to as “shoe-lances.” ROSTER: Shielder - Horace 'Dusty' Foreman Halfback - The Right Honorable Sir Cornelieus Llewellyn Fortescue Smyth XII Halfback - Everett 'Bad Mouth' Tillman Netkeeper - Adam Henson Netkeeper - Louis 'Lasso' Longburkes Bench - Sir Gent Bench - Edward Byers Bench - Andrew Andrewson Coach - Craig Gregerson The Minitz Mootgoers The last of the 1908 expansion teams, the Minitz Mootgoers, were founded after the fourth Leonite Moot by the Reinmaren tribes, with their interests piqued by the 1907 Minitz-based tournament. Although many initially favored calling the team the Minitz Boars, some believed it too similar to the now-defunct Helena Hogs. The Barclay’s team underwent substantial changes in 1911 following the Minitz Folkball Riot. A new coach was installed, the roster adapted, strategies modified, and ownership was conferred to all legal Reinmarian tribesmen of Minitz. ROSTER: Shielder - Reinhart Wilhelm Halfback - Gottfried Biermann Halfback - Halfbert Pocke Netkeeper - Conrad Drerad Netkeeper - Stam Urher Bench - Angela Ziegler Bench - Pul Memstein Bench - Vein Stecksnyder Coach - Gebhard von Minitz

Heartland Folkball League Championships XIII 1911 Heartland Folkball League in the Fields of Barrowton Brought to you by The Miller’s Mark, Good for whatever ales you! 1911 Bracket We whisk you away over the Arentanian Mountains to the setting of the 1911 Heartland Folkball League championship. It has become known to the officials of the HFL that in the hinterland village of Barrowton, our productions have a sizable following. Therefore, it was declared that the town should play host to the league’s next joyous celebration of community and sport. So to our leal readers, we come to you in this handbill to recount the glorious Twelfth Championship Tournament of Folkball, the sport of the Heartlands! After last year’s stunning performance by the New Vienne Upstreeters, and their mysterious giant that was unseen at the team’s arrival, many groups have gone home and practiced their strategies. Atrus fans are frothing for a victory, Minitzers demand results from their coach, and Bywater is just happy to be here! So, as always, lots were drawn and matches set. And then the play began the next morn. Game 1 Petran Suns vs Bywater Hedgehogs After several disastrous seasons, the Petran Suns have swiftly dropped in respect amongst the teams of the HFL. For the third year in a row, the Suns could not bring an entire team to the pitch, and it should be no surprise to onlookers as the city of Valfeur sits desolate and devoid of life. If you want a good fright, look to that ghost town, as it is rumored among the heartlanders that the ghosts of the Cuck’s War wander about, scaring the living from the land. As for the game, Petra showed up again with a team of three: Simon Cowl, Craig Gregerson, and Glenn Clarke. This time, Coach Peter Norton did not even bother to attend the affair and is said to have left Petra for greener pastures. With this pitiful display, the three remaining members offered a deal to the Halflings. They would intentionally throw the ball over the net and give the halffolk a half point, very rhymey! Bywater’s Coach, Flanagan Greenwhistle, agreed and ended the game moments after it had started as the Suns walked off the field. However, it could be seen that Craig Gregerson talked to Barrowton fans long after the performance and during the following day’s games. Does this signal a possible move from the deadlands of Petra to the dreadlands of Barrowton?! Game 2 Grenz Hurlers vs Adrian Black Barons The Hurlers and the Grenz squared off in the first vigorous action of the first day following the pitiful display of the Petrans. Fans erupted as Adrian half Leo Pold entered the field. It was told that he had a section of women so dedicated to him they wore shirts crudely depicting his face and generously providing for his physique. Nonetheless, the Grenz Hurlers took the field without their star, Heinrik Rarehird, who was grievously injured by Sedan’s Roberto il Toro. Their decisive offensive passing has been diminished as secondary half Willem Steav and replacement half Seth Hairytooth have been less than cooperative. It seems the entire team’s charm has been impacted by the loss of Rarehird. If he does not recover, the Hurlers could quickly find themselves relegated to the lowest portions of Folkball, especially with so many teams battling to gain a spot in the league. Nonetheless, the game was a defensive showing. Adrian netter Alec Ratiborison scored two half points, and co-netter Andrik Lethen scored another. Leo Pold, too distracted by his fans and pinned down by shielder Viktor Berenson was ineffective, to his screaming fan’s dismay. Willem Steav scored a single point on the opposing side, but it was not enough. The Hurlers were a half point behind as the final bell rang and went back to the cold Grenz with colder news. Game 3 Atrus Stars vs Minitz Mootgoers The Bauerbecken Vow stood strong last season. But now Minitz fans are frothing for a championship appearance. The team, having gotten out of the opening stages for the first time last year, is now prepared for a championship season. However, they were faced against the infamous southern immigrants, the Atrus Stars. For the first time since the beginning of the HFL, the owners of the Mootgoers made an appearance in a specially designed box along the pitchside. However, many were surprised to see the owners were not Reinmarian knights but Kralto-Malinorian outlanders with dark mauve skin. As the opening bell rang, the Blanc Cavaliere and Halfbert Pocke took at each other. Both halfs were so thoroughly invested in beating each other in heavy armor that they scored very little. Instead, netter Rafail Moor scored three goals for the Stars, and secondary half Gither von Volburg scored two for Minitz. After the half-bell, the Stars shielder, Alekos Georgopoulos, effectively deterred the netters back to their posts and neutralized their offense. Meanwhile, the Stars continued to score while Halfbert and Reinhart Wilhelm were pinned by Alfredo Canto. This failure on the part of the Mootgoers led to the Stars victory, though the vow to never get shutout was still upheld by Coach Bauerbecken. Game 4 Sedan Goats vs New Vienne Upstreeters The New Vienne Upstreeters, after an impressive victory last season in their home fields, returned to Barrowton with a determination but an aura of mischief. Specifically, the HFL is still investigating if Vienne’s coach, Greg Miller, was involved in paying Roberto il Toro to permanently injure Hurler’s legendary half, Heinrik Rarehird. Notably, Rarehird is the biggest competition to the arm of Upstreeter’s half Charles ‘the Fish’ Fisherman. So, some speculate, the intention was to make Fisherman the star of the HFL by taking out the only other impressive arm in the league. Nonetheless, enough speculation. The game began with an impressive goal from Louis du Ballon, who managed to kick (not throw) a ball into the net after feinting the netters with his intricate footwork. Nonetheless, this was Ballon’s only goal. Coach Filippo Jacoson’s prodigy has to make a lot of improvements before he is ready to face teams like the Upstreeters. By the final bell, New Vienne was up by three points thanks to an impressive four nets by the Fish. His play with secondary half Simon Bishop is so immaculate that it makes many question if anyone will be able to beat the Upstreeters. However, Thoric Bloodshield, the giant of New Vienne, was unseen during this match or the previous day’s affairs. Is it possible King Charlie ordered his team to leave the beast behind so far from home? Semi-Finals 1 Bywater Hedgehogs vs Adrian Black Barons After their first trip to the Championships last season, the Adrian Black Barons were ready to return. They dismissed the notion that the halflings would threaten that success. Famously, the Hedgehogs and Barons have had a troubled past. The coaches, Flanagan Greenwhistle and Rikhein Ingrid are rumored to despise one another. Both teams went into the match intent on brutalizing their opponents. The Devilish Duo of Bywater, Richard Longstride and Tegan Smoothhands, took straight away to beating the Adrian half, Leo Pold, to the ground using the patented knee-chops of Obidiah Longfoot. Leo Pold’s screaming girls in the stands could not take to see this brutality and rushed the field. When the women were finally pulled off the trio of folkballers, all three were bloodied and ridden with scratch marks. They were carried off the field in litters. Play continued with officials clearing the field and having the three taken to the priests on the sidelines for inspection. Baron’s netter, Alec Ratiborison, shut down the little offensive pushes of Longfoot, who, without his halfs, was the only one left to score without leaving their goal undefended. Heinrik Franzoc and Hugh Heffher racked up an impressive three points and closed the game out for the Adrianites. Semi-Finals 2 Atrus Stars vs New Vienne Upstreeters The Stars and the Upstreeters took each other on during the tournament’s third day. This evening’s game was wonderfully lit by the lowering sun of the over-Arentania plains and the thousands of excited onlookers clustered around the dusty dirt pitch of the western extent of humanity. Notably, New Vienne’s coach, Greg Miller, was not seen during this game and was supposedly being questioned by HFL officials in a distant tent. With the opening bell, the Blanc Cavaliere took to covering Charles Fisherman. Although the Fish does wear a colored gambeson, his padding was no match for the plates of the Cavaliere. Throughout the game, the Upstreeters had to rely on the efforts of Charles Fisherman and the net work of Merrett the Brown Knight. The Stars relied on the net tossing of Rafail Moor and the catching, running, and shooting of Alfredo Canto. However, sometime in the second half, the Cavaliere was struck from behind by Jaremy Smith. Placing his shield on the knight’s knee, he struck down, and the knight could be heard screaming southern profanities amongst cries for his comrades’ help. This brief pause in the defense allowed Charles Fisherman to masterfully score two goals and march the Upstreeters back from a deficit to a half-point lead. Although the priests of Atrus were seen praying for the team, their prayers did little. The Upstreeters’ fans quickly started rallying around the cry that the cup was “staying home,” in reference to last year’s chant that the cup would be ‘coming home’ to the capital of the Heartlands. Championships Adrian Black Barons vs New Vienne Upstreeters Amazingly, the 1911 tournament brought together the same two finalists as the 1910 season, the Adrian Black Barons and the New Vienne Upstreeters. The Barons, riding off their victory and the newly bustling city of Velec, came up against the Upstreeters, who may definitively be one of the best teams in all of the Heartlands. This would be a rematch for the history books. As the morning settled in and the teams made their way onto the pitch, the sidelines were quieter than a Canonist mass. From the tents of the Upstreeters lumbered the Beast of Vienne, Thoric Bloodshield. This hulking giant had just the previous year been ejected from the match after chucking Hugh Heffher and his shield dozens of yards into the crumbling walls of Vienne. Heffher was seen requesting a substitution from coach Ingrid, who sent in novice, token shielder Aleksei Vakera to replace the mainstead. As the opening bell rang, the Baron’s shielder, Aleksei Vakera, quickly outmaneuvered the dull giant. He used the fence sides of the pitch to launch himself onto the shoulder of the giant and began to punch at the shoulders and back of the beast. It was a truly heroic showing that made many fans clap furiously for the Beast’s demise. They had finally found the counter to the Upstreeter’s secret weapon! However, Thoric Bloodshield did not take kindly to this offense. With a mammoth movement of energy, the beast grabbed Vakera by the waist and began to beat him on the ground as a child does a toy he does not care for. His tangled remains were then chucked out of the pitch to the shrieking of fans. Officials rushed to eject Bloodshield, but it was too late. Vakera lay dead, and the priests were powerless to help him. After confirming the news, officials announced that play would resume by Thoric Bloodshield was officially banned from all future Folkball league matches for the entirety of his miserable life. As the increasingly macabre affair marched on, the Fisherman demonstrated his usual skill and sailed in three nets. Leo Pold, notably damaged from his match against Bywater and in shock about the loss of a teammate, did not muster a single goal. All three of the half points scored by the Barons were a result of the net work of Alec Ratiborison. However, even Ratiborson couldn’t stop the Fish! By the final bell, the Upstreeters led by two points, and they had claimed their second back-to-back championship, the first in league history! Nevertheless, the following feast day was filled with news that shook the HFL. New Vienne’s coach, Greg Miller, had also been permanently proscribed from the league for his involvement with the maiming of Hurler’s half, Heinrik Rarehird, in the previous season. According to officials, Miller paid Roberto of the Sedan Goats to purposely injure Rarehird to prevent the Hurlers from reaching the finals. Roberto has similarly been banned from the HFL. So, as scandal rocks the HFL, we close out our handbill with a call for good people to enjoy the company of their neighbors. Take to the fields and play the sport because despite the chicanery about these matches, the heart of folkball is spending time playing a sport we love! So, until next year, dearest readers and Folkball enthusiasts. Until next year! Congratulations to the Winners! of the Heartland Folkball League Championships XIII THE NEW VIENNE UPSTREETERS! List of Champions 1899 ……… Petran Suns 1900 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1901 ……… Florentine Bulls 1902 ……… Florentine Bulls 1903 ……… Florentine Bulls 1904 ……… Grenz Hurlers 1905 ……… Petran Suns 1906 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1907 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1908 ……… Grenz Hurlers 1909 ……… Bywater Hedgehogs 1910 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1911 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters (This Year) List of Most Valuable Folk 1908 (Joint MVF)……… Heinrik Rarehird (Grenz Hurlers) 1908 (Joint MVF)……… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters) 1909 …………………… Jerry Applebuck (Bywater Hedgehogs) 1910 …………………… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters) 1911 …………………… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters)

The Kralto-Malinorian outlanders who owned the Minitz Mootgoers sat in a smoke-filled cigar room somewhere west of the Heartlands. The one puffed on his cigar before nonchalantly mentioning, "did you see what that Reinmarian lad said about us?" The room erupted with laughter and even more dense smog from the tips of their stogies. Another commented back, "and they don't even realize we own the chippies! Win or lose; we always find minas!" With that, the camera panned away into the darkness...

Heartland Folkball League Championships XII 1910 Heartland Folkball League in the Fields of New Vienne Brought to you by The Miller’s Mark, Good for whatever ales you! 1910 Bracket Outside the walls of New Vienne, the colossal crowds shoved into tents and amongst the merchant stalls. Hawkers could be heard over the jovial masses, calling for passersby to try their exquisite wares. Any plain folk was inundated with at least seven marketers proudly detailing their jewelry as the best in Almaris. Yet, to the keen eye, it was but glass and cheap plated copper. Yet, you are not reading this for mercantile advice. Nay, ye come to hear the recounting of the glorious Eleventh Championship Tournament of Folkball, the sport of the Heartlands! So, if you are so inclined to pick up the bladder and try it yourself, gather your neighbors in the market square and partake in communal delight (rules here). But if not, let us delight your sensations with the detailing of this Eleventh Annual Championship tournament in the Heartlands of man. Notably, this year the tournament was held in the fields outside of New Vienne overlooking the shimmering sea, where it was once rumored the Duke of Sunholdt would lay a castle. Now though, those fields aren’t for the noble folk, but for the sportin folk! Upstreeter fans could be seen proudly brandishing their team’s colors and shouting, “it’s coming home!” So, as always, lots were drawn and matches set. And then the play began the next morn. Game 1 New Vienne Upstreeters vs Petran Suns Many did not place much weight on the Petran team after their disastrous civil war. Those smart enough to heed this advice profited handsomely in the gambling tents, as the Petrans showed up with only three players and no coach. Although New Vienne’s coach, Greg Miller, called for the game to be called off for the sake of mercy, the officials did not find any rule that states a team could not have less than five players at the start of a match. With the opening bell, it was clear the scarce team of Petra was no match for the historical heavyweights that are the Upstreeters. Charles ‘the Fish’ Fisherman made light work of the shielder’s pitiful defense. Craig Gregerson, Petra’s shielder, and their half, Simon Cowl, left the game after colliding heads and being left without breath or thought. All that remained by the half bell was the netter Glenn Clarke, who arranged a truce with the Upstreeters and headed back to Petra on a lone donkey named “Davis.” With that, the game was over, and the final half was left unplayed. The chants of “it’s coming home” grew louder with each passing moment, and Vienne fans were enthralled by their team’s splendid display. Game 2 Bywater Hedgehogs vs Minitz Mootgoers The returning champions, the Bywater Hedgehogs, squared up against the Minitz Mootgoers in the afternoon showing of Folkball. The Mootgoers have been unsuccessful in their advancement for two straight tournaments, eternally stuck in the quarterfinals. However, this year they had a slight edge as the Hedgehogs have suffered from a declining population in Bywater and the sudden death of Linel Hogbrush, their secondary netter, often forgotten behind Jerry Applebuck. The game was a hot affair from the opening bell to the closing one. The sweltering heat left both teams drenched in sweat. Reinhart Wilhelm, the shielder for Minitz, was exceptionally effective at holding Obidiah Longfoot in position, locking shields, and tackling the halfling to stunt Bywater’s defense. Without Longfoot’s direction and guard, the Barclay’s team managed to squeak out an extra point lead they held to the end of the game. Minitz fans will be delighted to know that the Bauerbecken Vow came true and their coach has built a franchise that is not resting on its laurels. It could be that we are entering the Minitz era in the realm of Folkball, or was this just a fluke? Game 3 Adrian Black Barons vs Atrus Stars The Bianc Cavaliere marched onto the field, leading the Stars against the Adrians on the morning of the second day. Coming off last year’s loss to the halflings, the Stars intended to reclaim their glory in the name of their Kingdom. The Adrians opened the game in Adrian fashion by mocking the southern team, asking them if they intended to win while wearing their bedsheets, in reference to the flowing garbs of the Atrusians. It wasn’t long after the opening bell that it became clear the Adrians knew the weakness of the Stars. Although the Cavaliere wore white plate armor, the rest of the team was quick but vulnerable. Adria’s Hugh Heffher and Leo Pold took to tackling the ball carriers with intense gusto, even breaking some ribs on the Star’s less-known half, Alfredo Canto. This aggressive playstyle netted the Barons a hefty two-point lead that they only expanded in the second half. The only score by the Stars was from the Bianc Cavaliere, who managed to sneak one past Adrian netter Alec Ratiborison. Game 4 Grenz Hurlers vs Sedan Goats As the sun was setting on the tournament's second day, the Grenz Hurlers faced off against the Sedanites, or the team formerly known as the Florentine Bulls. Play started as usual, with Heinrik Rarehird of the Hurlers racking up two nets against the helpless Goats. Spectators and betting men alike suspected the game was over as the dominant Rarehird flexed his exceptional throwing arm. However, something was amiss. Shortly after the second bell was rung, Roberto il Toro, a half for the Goats and known brutalizer, rushed at Rarehird with sickening intent. After a few moments in which both teams rushed the field to break up the fight, officials restored order. Despite this, Rarehird's arm appeared broken in several spots, and his head was soaked with a red stain. Officials ejected Roberto, but the fate of the Hurlers was sealed without their star player. With the help of Antonio la Bianca and the netting skills of Pierre Escargot, the Goats marched back and scored four nets in the latter half. While they did manage to win, it is clear that some chicanery was afoot. The HFL has launched a full investigation into the incident, and officials speculate that Roberto was paid for his intentional disfigurement of Rarehird. However, those allegations are still without evidence. Semi-Finals 1 New Vienne Upstreeeters vs Minitz Mootgoers For the first time in history, the Minitz Mootgoers entered the semi-finals on the third morning of the Folkball Championship Tournament. Coach Bauerbecken was exceptionally optimistic about the match’s outcome, despite going up against one of the most decorated teams in the league: The New Vienne Upstreeters. As usual, the Upstreeters strutted onto the field on their home turf and flashed the crowd the badges that proudly displayed the faces of King Charles and Prince James of Aaun. These stylish cockades really show off the Upstreeter’s dedication to the homeland. However, more importantly, the crowds were alight with cheers of “it’s coming home” and “I believe in God, Charles, and Folkball!” By the opening bell, the Vienne lads took to play like honeycomb on a donkey. Charles Fisherman, the Upstreeter’s half, was indomitable and quickly took the lead by four points. Although Halfbert Pocke managed to squeak in a single goal and Reinhart Wilhelm forced Fisherman to miss one of his numerous shots on the net, it did little to stop the bleeding. By the end, the Fish had scored 6 nets, tying his record for the most points scored by a single baller in a game. Without a doubt, Charles Fisherman demonstrated his prowess on the field and why he is quickly being acclaimed as one of the paramount players in Folkball history! Semi-Finals 2 Adrian Black Barons vs Sedan Goats The third day’s evening was daunting for the Adrian Black Barons and the Sedan Goats. Either team would be pitted against the remarkable Green Wave of the Upstreeters on their home turf after an exceptionally thorough routing of the Minitzers. Additionally, the Goats had to substitute Roberto the Bull as he was barred from playing for the remainder of the tournament after his aggressive play against Heinrik Rarehird. In his place, Coach Filippo Jacoson brought in Louis du Ballon for his debut game. It was a close game from the onset, and it all relied on the netters. Alec Ratiborison was responsible for all three of the half points scored by the Barons and, coincidentally, all the points the team mustered that game. Baron’s half, Leo Pold, was unsuccessful in his attempts to score against formidable netter Pierre Escargot and benchwarmer Jean-Luke Bicard, who substituted in for the old Bulls netter Stefano Valentina. Meanwhile, the peculiar style of Louis du Ballon was revealed to the world and has ignited quite a controversy inside the world of Folkball. To all the onlooker’s aghastment, Louis used his feet to dribble and pass the ball around the field instead of passing or running it. While it was certainly not as effective as the arms of Rarehird or Fisherman, it did manage to score a single net for the Goats. Nonetheless, the footwork was not enough to carry the Goats to the finals. The last bell rang with the Barons holding a half-point lead due to netter Alec Ratiborison. Yet, even though victory was achieved, the Barons did not celebrate and took to their tents to mock up strategies against the Upstreeters, intent on securing a victory in the next day’s game. Championships New Vienne Upstreeters vs Adrian Black Barons And so, on the fourth and final day of the tournament, the New Vienne Upstreeters faced off against the Adrian Black Barons. Truly a clash between the unstoppable Green Wave and the immovable Black Rock! The suffocating heat mixed with the dust of the camp paths was enough to make any man lose a lung. Yet, the teams entered the fenced pitch, and surprise hit every face on the Barons. Standing before them was an eight-foot-tall, hulking giant who wore a bright cockade, a plumed hat, and bore contrastingly pale skin. His hair was aflame with ginger tones, and he was introduced to the officials by Coach Greg Miller as the newest member and shielder of the Upstreeters: Thoric Bloodshield. As the Adrians composed themselves around their fearless coach, Rikhein Ingrid, the Green Wave surrounding the pitch erupted with cheers and insults. The rallying cry of the Upstreeters, “it’s coming home,” was echoed so loudly that it is said men in the Grenz thought the storming worm from the south had tunneled its way to New Vienne. So, as the bell rang, the play commenced, and a game unknown to Folkball took place outside the walls of New Vienne and above the crumbling remains of several cities. Thoric waltzed towards his opposing shielder, Hugh Heffher, and picked the man off his feet, holding him by his collar. Intent on chucking him into the crowd, officials stepped in and informed Bloodshield that any attempt to throw a player from the field would result in his ejection. Despite his undeniable strength, speech comprehension appears to be a weakness for the giant of a man who simply ignored the officials’ pleas and threw Heffher against the distant walls of the city. Although Heffher is still alive, clergy from the Stars’ entourage informed the officials that he had suffered quite a set of injuries. As a result, Bloodshield was ejected from the game to the jeers of Upstreeter’s fans and the stunned face of Baron’s fanciers. After nearly thirty minutes of delay, play continued. Charles Fisherman once again demonstrated that the best defense is scoring more points than your opponent. Although Heinrik Franzoc scored a goal alongside fellow Baron half Leo Pold, neither could keep up with the impressive arm of the Fish. By the final bell, four points had been scored by the Fish, and many fans’ attention still laid on the mysterious giant who debuted that day. Nonetheless, the New Vienne Upstreeters claimed the Championship Cup thanks to the likes of Charles Fisherman and the bewildering beast known as Thoric Bloodshield. Fans in New Vienne started several house fires in the poor district. Similarly, they managed to flip twenty-three carriages to ‘celebrate’ their victory. The phrase “it’s coming home” is carved into every wooden surface in the city. Some even had the words marked on their body by inky needles to their bodies with the date 1910 below. As expected, Charles’ the Fish’ Fisherman was awarded the Most Valuable Folk award and stated, “my prayers go out to my good friend Heinrik Rarehird and his speedy recovery.” Yet, officials from the HFL spent days following the tournament interviewing New Vienne’s coach, Greg Miller, on his possible involvement with the attack by Roberto il Toro. Speculation abounds that Miller may have been involved in a scheme that put a bounty on Rarehird, one that Roberto intended to claim. However, that drama will have to wait until next year. With this, our detailing of the HFL’s 1910 tournament outside New Vienne concludes. Until next year, dearest readers and Folkball enthusiasts. Until next year! Congratulations to the Winners! of the Heartland Folkball League Championships XII THE NEW VIENNE UPSTREETERS! List of Champions 1899 ……… Petran Suns 1900 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1901 ……… Florentine Bulls 1902 ……… Florentine Bulls 1903 ……… Florentine Bulls 1904 ……… Grenz Hurlers 1905 ……… Petran Suns 1906 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1907 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1908 ……… Grenz Hurlers 1909 ……… Bywater Hedgehogs 1910 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters (This Year) List of Most Valuable Folk 1908 (Joint MVF)……… Heinrik Rarehird (Grenz Hurlers) 1908 (Joint MVF)……… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters) 1909 …………………… Jerry Applebuck (Bywater Hedgehogs) 1910 …………………… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters) Troubles on the River Petra? After the Petran Civil War, colloquially referred to as the Cuck’s War, between Archduchess Renilde I and Archduke Constanz I, the Petran Suns stand decimated. Their once decent roster has rather wandered south with Constanz or wallowed in the pyrrhic victory of Renilde. Regardless, until the Petrans can regain some semblance, they may be unable to compete on par with their peers, which opens plenty of rumors that other Folkball teams across Almaris may be eyeing their position in the league. However, time will only tell.

Heartland Folkball League Championships XI 1909 Heartland Folkball League in the Fields of Velec Brought to you by The Miller’s Mark, Good for whatever ales you! The Florentine Bulls Relocate! Sedan Gets Team! Over the last six years of the HFL, the Florentine Bulls have faltered as a team and ultimately been left with minimal talent in Florentine. Under the direction of Head Coach Filippo Jacoson, the Florentine Bulls, the team founded by Servo Falcone in 1878, packed up bags and trotted to Sedan. The Prince welcomed the new team, but most observers expect it will be a few years before they can settle in and compete against other drilled squads. However, how can you not love their painted shields! Striking and stunning! HFL Commissions Championship Cup During the afterfeast of the 1908 championship tournament, the HFL gifted Heinrik Rarehird and Charles Fisherman a large cup of specialty sweet wine to honor their success on the pitch. However, the idea quickly developed into a fashionable statement and trend across the Heartlands. Working with famed Qalasheen smith Mobho Tott, the HFL commissioned a Championship Cup. Each year, following the conclusion of the finals, the winning team will be awarded this tremendous cup filled with the finest vintage to share or sip as they please. 1909 Bracket Although heartland tension, especially along the River Petra, has swelled, the Heartland Folkball League must play on! For all those reading, stay safe and take comfort in knowing that the HFL officials and players will not be intimidated by wars or recession. Even in the darkness of bad times, there is a light in communal recreation and sport! If you are inclined to spread that light, try out Folkball with your local townsfolk (rules here). But if not, let us delight your sensations with the detailing of this Eleventh Annual Championship tournament in the Heartlands of man. With over a decade of existence, the HFL selected a location from amongst the pitches across the Heartland and beyond. This year, the tent town of Velec under the Adrians was chosen. Although rumors abound that Haverlock would be selected, the HFL has walked back any association with playing on such hallowed ground. As the week of festivities began, the coaches and captains of the teams drew the lots. However, the Petran Suns had not arrived. They were given the last lot, but it happened to be the first-place seed. However, there was a noticeable lack of any Suns fans in the crowds and eatery masses, for the yellow sun had dimmed. Game 1 Petran Suns vs Atrus Stars As the first day opened, the morning match between the Suns and the Stars, monikered the Light Bowl by cackling fans, was uneventful. In fact, officials could not find a single Suns player, and their tents were never moved into. After waiting nearly till mid-day, the officials had the Bianc Cavaliere toss in a token net to call the game a win for the Stars. With that, the Petrans were declared to have forfeited the match by failure to appear. Stars fans took the time to reflect on the ongoing conflict, and coach Kaream Jabar of the Stars prayed at half-field for God’s guidance during these troubles. With humility, the Stars managed to advance to the semi-finals, though the victory felt hollow… Game 2 New Vienne Upstreeters vs Sedan Goats The newest team to the HFL marched onto the field against the oldest team in the afternoon game of the first day. The Goats’ seamstresses had not been able to complete a full kit for each player, so the uniforms they displayed were utter hodgepodge. Giuseppe il Muro, the Sedanite shielder, had crudely painted over the black bull of Florentine with a white splodge and drew a smiling face over it. More notably, though, Roberto il Toro was not seen on the team and was later announced to have been left in Florentine with no chance of moving with the team. As for the match, the Fishman dominated for the Upstreeters! The new recruits to the Goats had little chance against such a famous or infamous team. Some compared the rout to that of the Downstreeters following the St. Ari’s Day Massacre. However, this pamphlet assures you that no player was hurt that badly, we think. Although Charles Fisherman did not get to the impressive six nets he had scored against Minitz in 1908, he did manage to knock in a total of five against the abysmal defense of the Goats. Filippo Jacoson, coach of Sedan, clarified that this was the beginning of a rebuilding process. Over the coming years, he hopes to recruit and train new talent of Sedanian natives, including an elusive Auvergne player that is rumored to be exceptionally talented. Although Jacoson never stated the name, most believe he refers to Louis du Ballon, who was recently seen on the benches of the Goats this season. Game 3 Grenz Hurlers vs Minitz Mootgoers The returning champions of the 1908 bracket, the Grenz Hurlers, squared up against the Minitz Mootgoers for the second day's morning game and did not disappoint. Out of the gate Heinrik Rarehird, the half of the Hurlers knocked in three nets for an impressive early lead. Although Minitz half Halfbert Pocke scored a comeback net, and netter Angela Ziegler, one of the only females in the HFL, knocked one of Rarehird's shots over the net, it was not enough. By the end, Rarehird had scored four nets alone, with two others by netter Andrik Lothar and half Willem Steav. However, the Bauerbecken Vow was not broken, and Minitz did not go home shut out. Although coach Franz Bauerbecken once again expressed disappointment with the turnout, he said it was unfortunate to run up against one of the best teams in the HFL in the first game. He continued, "Fear not, Minitzers! We will be back with a vengeance next year! FOR LEON BARCLAY IS STILL ALIVE!" The troupe was seen marching around the game, singing the song every day at least four times, much to the despair of the other teams' ears. Game 4 Bywater Hedgehogs vs Adrian Black Barons The impressive Hedgehogs went to take on the home team in the Black Barons, though they had unfortunately pulled the lowest lot. Coming off a second-place finish, the Hedgehogs came into this game with a jovial mood, but after the starting bell, the intensity hit them. Hugh Heffher, shielder for the Barons, rolled out Obidiah Longfoot with such force that he had to be removed from the field after a few minutes. However, Jerry Applebuck settled the score when he ‘accidentally’ hit Heffher over the head with his buckethelm, causing the shielder to lose consciousness. After a lengthy argument with the officials, he was still ejected for a hit to the head. By mid-game, the Hedgehogs were down to three players against the Barons’ four. Despite this, the Bywater halfs, known as the Dancing Devil Duo, Richard Longstride and Tegan Smoothhands, managed to rack up net after net against netters Andrik Lethen and Alec Ratiborison. Ratiborison only managed to knock one shot over the net for a defensive half-point, but it was not enough by the final bell to award the home team a victory. Both teams refused to shake hands after the game and appear to have developed quite a rivalry. Baron’s coach Rikhein Ingrid was heard referring to the halflings as “shit-shaven dwarves.” Bywater coach Flanagan Greenwhistle replied to the comment by saying that “the bigguns should just get better at their own sport, so we don’t beat the living snot out of them every time!” Semi-Finals 1 Atrus Stars vs New Vienne Upstreeters Eager to return to the finals, the Upstreeters strode onto the pitch on the second day’s morning. Each Upstreeter wore a cockade bearing the profile of Prince James of Aaun, who the team admires and has invited to be their patron multiple times. This public show of affection will hopefully woo over the princeling and heir! Meanwhile, the Stars were intent on not stopping at the semi-finals. Through the morning dew, the men clashed in the fields of Velec, the tent city bustling with activity as traders could be heard hawking their wares from beyond the sidelines. Going into the match, the stars were aware of Charles Fisherman’s prowess and heavily prioritized his coverage. But even with this protection, the Fish snuck past shielder Alekos Georgopoulos three times to score. Alfredo Canto, half for Atrus, managed to score two nets along with a single point from the handiwork of the Bianc Cavaliere. It was barely enough to keep the game even, and the Fish was constantly pressuring the net. During the last few minutes, Stars’ netter Rafail Moor managed to faint Charles Fisherman into a poor shot and knock it over the net. With a roar from the crowd and the sudden bell ring, the move had managed to win the Stars their first semi-finals. Fans rushed the field, and Moor was proclaimed a hero of the team, hoisted high on the shoulders of the masses. However, we are unsure if anyone told them they had only won the semi-finals and still had a final match to prepare for the next day. As the day went on, various Balianite players were seen disobeying their coach’s orders, drinking copious amounts of wine, and feasting on heartland fares such as rich pepperwines, buttered beans, and bacon-wrapped trout over lentils. Semi-Finals 2 Grenz Hurlers vs Bywater Hedgehogs In a rematch from last year’s finals, the Bywater Hedgehogs took on the Grenz Hurlers. Haeseni fans were seen streaking in from the North for this game, a noticeable feat for a Heartland sport to achieve. The Grenz’s star player, Heinrik Rarehird, was benched for this game after a supposed injury to his throwing arm. This led many to favor the Hedgehogs as Rarehird’s substitution, Seth Hairytooth, was less than appealing in physical form or vain appearances. Richard Longstride and Tegan Smoothhands, the Dancing Devil Duo, showed off their passing skills throughout the entire affair, scoring two nets. Hairytooth proved utterly useless in taking up the role of Rarehird, but then again, who could expect such a man to fill the shoes of a giant. By the game’s end, Bywater had sailed to victory, and the Hurlers were down by a point and a half with little recourse. As the final bell rang, the teams showed the utmost respect for the sport by shaking hands and even hugging. Although the Hurlers were undoubtedly let down by the loss to the halflings, they do still hold the 1908 championship over the Hedgehogs. Championships Atrus Stars vs Bywater Hedgehogs For the first time in HFL history, two expansion teams have come up against one another in the finals. This proves that the Heartlanders are not the only ones who know how to play on the pitch. The Halflings are, in fact, the first all-non-human team to have a chance at winning the cup. And to think, this is the first year the championship cup is being delivered to the victorious team. Those little fellas will end up drowning in that deep dish! The third and final day was flooded with people as Heartlanders poured from across the fields to see these foreign teams play for their league’s championship. Although some were disappointed or angry at the inclusion of outsiders into a Heartland sport, the league has always been open to all races and nationalities. The Dancing Devil Duo and the Bianc Cavaliere were consistently embroiled in spats. Longstride and Smoothhands were at one point fully clinging to the body, arms, and legs of the white armored knight to slow him down. Although the Cavaliere claims he was bitten multiple times, the officials did not call a foul, so play continued. The Stars’ shielder, Alekos Georgopoulos, has developed into a slight weakness for the team. Especially against versed shielders like Obidiah Longfoot, he was quickly outmaneuvered and downed on several occasions. Moor and Applebuck, netters for Atrus and Bywater, respectively, were impressively on top of their game. As the halfs were constantly distracted, the netters could force over shot after shot. In essence, this game came down to the netters more than the halfs. In the final minutes of the affair, a misstep by the Bianc Cavaliere caused a kilter shot. Striking the buckethelm of Applebuck and flying over the net, the officials signaled a defensive point. Although a few more attempts were made by either side, the over-aggressive rush of the Stars managed to come back to bite them in the end as Bywater squeaked out the victory by a single half point. So, by midday, the halflings claimed the first-ever HFL cup and their first-ever championship, only in their second year of play. The celebrations, as usual, were extravagant and bedecked with the colorful pendants of each team. Because of his exceptional net work, Jerry Applebuck was proclaimed the Most Valuable Folk and given the same cup as Rarehird and Fisherman the year prior. Although some fans thought it should have gone to the Dancing Devil Duo or even the Bianc Cavaliere, the HFL officials stated their decision was impartial and based on the highest contribution. And so, amidst the turmoil on the Petra, the HFL closed its 1909 tournament. Until next year, dearest readers and Folkball enthusiasts. Until next year! Congratulations to the Winners! of the Heartland Folkball League Championships XI THE BYWATER HEDGEHOGS! List of Champions 1899……… Petran Suns 1900……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1901……… Florentine Bulls 1902……… Florentine Bulls 1903……… Florentine Bulls 1904……… Grenz Hurlers 1905……… Petran Suns 1906……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1907……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1908……… Grenz Hurlers 1909……… Bywater Hedgehogs (This Year) List of Most Valuable Folk 1908 (Joint MVF)……… Heinrik Rarehird (Grenz Hurlers) 1908 (Joint MVF)……… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters) 1909 …………………… Jerry Applebuck (Bywater Hedgehogs) The Sedanites Join the HFL! The Sedan Goats Originally the Florentine Bulls, founded in 1878, the Sedan Goats are the newest team in the HFL. After suffering from the decaying state of the town and facilities in Florentine, coach Filippo Jacoson moved the team and what players he could bring along to Sedan in 1909. Although a hastily made plan, the team has the backing of the Prince and his coffers. Likewise, it has positioned itself to cater to Auvergne fans across the Heartlands. ROSTER: Shielder - Giuseppe il Muro Halfback - Roberto il Toro Halfback - Antonio la Bianca Netkeeper - Stefano Valentina Netkeeper - Pierre Escargot Bench - Jean-Luke Bicard Bench - Louis du Ballon Bench - Robert il Niro Coach - Filippo Jacoson

Heartland Folkball League Championships X 1908 Heartland Folkball League in the Ruins of Vuillermoz Brought to you by The Miller’s Mark, Good for whatever ales you! Introducing Four New Teams! In recent moons the popularity of Folkball has swelled, and swept across lands outside of its traditional home, the Heartlands. Although still the preferred sport of Heartlanders, the dunes of the south and the miniature towns of the halflings now are dotted with Folkball pitches. With this added attention the Heartland Folkball League (HFL) is proud to announce the inclusion of four new teams. Their details can be found at the end of this handbill, including their rosters. 1908 Bracket With another year comes another championship tournament of the Heartland Folkball League! Although things might be getting dicey, take a moment to relax and root for your favorite HFL team. No matter where you are in Almaris, there is always time to enjoy a bit of sport. If you so enjoy it, perhaps you will try it with your neighbors and enjoy the communal affair that is Folkball (rules here). But if not, let us delight your sensations with the detailing of this Tenth Annual Championship tournament in the Heartlands of man. This tenth tournament is held in the ruins of Vuillermoz in the Grenz, the home turf of the Hurlers. Although warm summer days have been an essential part of any tournament in the last years, winds and rains blustered about during many of the matches this year. Luckily, the sand fared better than the dirt paths connecting the playfields. It wasn’t long before vendors and sightseers were knee-deep in the Grenzy brew! But, without further adieu, the lots were drawn by the teams. This is the first tournament with eight teams, so there will be double the number of matches as in past contests. To the loser’s despair, though, this tournament will likely remain single elimination for the foreseeable future. Time constraints, especially social conflict brewing on multiple fronts, have caused many veteran HFL players and staff to prepare for hiatuses. Yet, we must play on! Game 1 Grenz Hurlers vs Florentine Bulls In the first match of the 1908 tournament, the Grenz Hurlers took on the Florentine Bulls. Not only were the Grenz on their home turf, but the Bulls have been languishing in each tournament. Unable to progress past the first round for the past four years, most describe them as the worst team in the HFL. However, Roberto il Toro was let off the bench during this match and replaced Giuseppe il Muro as the shielder. Within the first few minutes of the game, Giuseppe the Wall had already gotten himself ejected for bashing Hurler’s netkeeper, Andrik Lothar, several times in the neck and head. He had to be removed from the field by several strongmen and his teammates. Whatever plan they had that involved the Wall ended then and there. Throughout the rest of the game, the Hurlers dominated once again. Heinrik Rarehird threw four goals from great length, and the Bulls netters were helpless. Although Francesco Falcone scored a singular goal, it was not enough to stop the onslaught of the Hurlers. So, with their home fans cheering loudly, the final bell rang, and the Hurlers walked away victorious. After the match, Filippo Jacoson declared that the Bulls were looking for a new home because of the lack of talent in the fields of Florentine. Although he did not confirm which offers are circulating, speculation exists that the Bulls may soon be packing bags for the fields of Sedan and renaming themselves the Goats! Game 2 Atrus Stars vs Adrian Black Barons In our first matchup of the new expansion teams, the Atrus Stars faced off against the Adrian Black Barons from the tents of Velec. Both teams were relatively shaky on their feet for the first half of the game but found their footing in the latter half. Despite a halftime draw of nil to nil, Baron’s shielder, Hugh Heffher, managed to roll out the Star’s shielder, Alekos Georgopoulos, several times. This allowed Baron’s Leo Pold to score two goals in quick succession. However, a third attempt ended up flying over the net and scoring the Stars their first-ever defensive point. The Star’s all-star halfback, known only as the Bianc Cavaliere, managed to march back down the field to score an impressive two goals, but it was not enough to render a victory for Atrus. When the last bell rang and the first day’s games were finished, the white knight humbly handed over his team’s shield to the Baron’s coach, Rikhein Ingrid, as an honorable gesture, the Stars accepting their defeat. Game 3 Bywater Hedgehogs vs Petran Suns The following day the storm clouds were brewing from the south, but the rain did not yet soak the fields of Vuillermoz. It nicely framed the thunderous applause of the crowds as the Bywater Hedgehogs entered their inaugural match against the Petran Suns. The Suns, runner-ups to the 1907 tournament, were surprised to discover what came next. Right out of the gate, Coach Flanagan Greenwhistle’s Hedgehogs were impossible to catch. For Obidiah Longfoot, the shielder for the Hedgehogs, it was a personal match against his old team. Petra’s shielder, Craig Gregerson, was no match for the leg chops of Longfoot and had to retire toward the end of the game as he could no longer stand. Yet, despite both teams focusing on the rough-housing, the halflings could not score. Getting the folkball up and over the barricade and into the net made for a real challenge for the short-statured halffolk. However, it was eventually a mistake by Sun’s halfback, Roger Norton, that ended the game well into overtime. Norton caught a pass from the netters and shot but overestimated the angle. With a clink off the net’s top bar, it rolled over the net and into the adoring fans behind. That lone mistake meant the Hedgehogs won the sudden-death match by a single defensive point. Game 4 Minitz Mootgoers vs New Vienne Upstreeters Despite the Mootgoers pulling a decent lot, they ended up against the champions of the last tournament, the New Vienne Upstreeters. Although some may have shown mercy to the newcomers, Charles ‘the Fish’ Fisherman of the Upstreeters seemed to use the opportunity to practice outlandish tosses, some of which found their mark. By the affair’s end, Charles had racked up six total goals, the most of any single player since records began in 1907. The defensive formations of the Mootgoers seemed rickety at best. Although mimicking effective battlefield shield walls, the formidable expertise and movement of the Upstreeters made them ineffective on the pitch. The only attempts on goal came from Minitz’s Halfbert Pocke, with two caught throws by an expectedly effective Merrett the Brown Knight. To the delight of long-traveling Minitiz fans, Coach Franz Bauerbecken stated that this was a great learning experience for the Mootgoers. He explained that next year, the team will train for longer hours and with more intense drilling on formations. Vowing to never let the team be shut out again, fans have taken to calling it the Bauerbecken Vow! Semi-Finals 1 Grenz Hurlers vs Adrian Black Barons On the third day of the tournament, the sun was barely visible, and a fog had rolled into the ruins of Vuillermoz that persisted for the entire day. Yet, the play had to continue, and the Grenz Hurlers took to the field against the upstart Adrian Black Barons. Both teams are known for their aggressive play, so the affair was rumored to be bloody, and they did not disappoint. Mid-way through the first half, Baron’s halfback, Leo Pold, got into an altercation with Hurler’s half, Willem Steav. Both players were ejected for violations as the brawl turned into a face-bashing, head-smashing rumpus that took both teams stopping play to break up. Without Pold to lead the Black Baron’s offense, they were sadly neutered for the remaining time. Although Velec netter, Alec Ratiborison, was able to stop several plays by the legendary Hurler Heinrik Rarehird, they ultimately squeaked by with two goals that the Barons could not answer. When the final bell was rung, the Barons ended up with only a single defensive point but held the Hurlers to two. For their first showing in the HFL, it was not a disappointment. Semi-Finals 2 Bywater Hedgehogs vs New Vienne Upstreeters By mid-day, the clouds had lifted a little for the semi-final match of the Bywater Hedgehogs versus the New Vienne Upstreeters. Bookies heavily favored the Upstreeters, but the succeeding contest was hardly a rout! The dynamic halfback duo of Richard Longstride and Tegan Smoothhands for the Hedgehogs managed to drastically overturn expectations. With five goals between the two, Longstride’s throwing with Smoothand’s catching made such a powerful combination that even veteran Vienne shielder, Jaremy Smith, commented after the game. He said, “those two can throw and catch better than most heartlanders! I would ask them to join us if they weren’t on the Hedgehogs! Damn short devils be dancing around out there!” The nickname, the Dancing Devils, has stuck with some Hedgehog fans. Even while the two were repetitively scoring, Upstreeter’s famous half, Charles ‘the Fish’ Fisherman, managed to rack up another five nets for his team. That brought his tournament total to eleven, an astronomical level unseen in HFL history. If the Fish doesn’t end up going down as one of the best players of all time, something went terribly wrong! In the end, though, an off-step attempt by Simon Bishop, Vienne’s other half, was deflected by Jerry Applebuck and his enlarged buckethelm. Going over the net, a defensive point was given to the Hedgehogs. That managed to hold them over until the final bell rang out, letting them advance to face the Hurlers in the championship match scheduled for the tournament’s fourth day. Championship Grenz Hurlers vs Bywater Hedgehogs So the fourth day came, and the rain that had been daintily edging around the ruins finally poured. Yet, per regulations, play must continue regardless of the weather. So as the morning sun rose and the blustering winds pushed the rain sideways, the Hurlers and halfling Hedgehogs made their way to the pitch with fans huddling in tents or awe-stricken under covered overhangs. Regardless, the weather nicely framed the ensuing showdown. The aggression of the Hurlers was funneled nicely by Obidiah Longfoot and forced them into making several poor plays early on, allowing for three defensive points. This brought the Hedgehogs out to an early one-and-a-half-point lead over the Hurlers. However, the coverage on renowned duo Richard Longstride and Tegan Smoothhands was intense, and the netters could not compensate for the rest of the game, limiting the Hedgehogs to solely defensive points with the assistance of the buckethelmed netter Jerry Applebuck. Although an early detraction from their usual domineering personality, the Hurlers marched back. Heinrik Rarehird, one the best throwing halfs in the league, managed to score a goal that was quickly followed by several denied Bywater pushes, courtesy of Grenz netter Andrik Lothar. Lothar even managed to force a defensive point by Longfoot, which tied the game. In the final minutes on the rain-drenched pitch, Rarehird managed to scoot around the shield of Obidiah Longfoot and get off an excellent curved attempt. As it sailed through the ferocious gale, it found a home in the net, past the grip of Applebuck. With that, the final minutes were filled with desperate attempts by the Dancing Devil Duo to generate a tying net, but it was for naught. So, as the sun set and the wind subsided, the victory went to the Hurlers. Yet, the teams shook hands following the game and delighted in the fifth-day festivities that included outstanding brews by The Miller’s Mark and plenty of greasy meat to please the palate. Rumor has it that the exceptional halfs, Heinrik Rarehird and Charles Fisherman, shared a large cup of specialty sweet wine jointly gifted to them by the HFL officers for the best player in the tournament. Some even speculate that this cup will become a common trend in HFL tournaments, awarded to the most valuable folk! Congratulations to the Winners! of the Heartland Folkball League Championships X THE GRENZ HURLERS! Past Champions 1899……… Petran Suns 1900……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1901……… Florentine Bulls 1902……… Florentine Bulls 1903……… Florentine Bulls 1904……… Grenz Hurlers 1905……… Petran Suns 1906……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1907……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1908……… Grenz Hurlers (This Year) Most Valuable Folk 1908 (Joint MVF)……… Heinrik Rarehird (Grenz Hurlers) 1908 (Joint MVF)……… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters) Details of the Four New Teams The Bywater Hedgehogs Named after the famed amateur league bucketball team, the Honeyhill Hedgehogs, the Bywater team was founded in late 1907 by enthusiastic halflings and the ex-Petran Suns player Obidiah Longfoot. Although short in stature and more easily broken by a kick or hit, they make up for it in experienced rough-housing and exceptional dodging abilities. It is rumored that halflings play the sport daily after day labor in the field ceases. If so, that makes them the most avid and well-trained team in the HFL. ROSTER: Shielder - Obidiah Longfoot Halfback - Richard Longstride Halfback - Tegan Smoothhands Netkeeper - Linel Hogbrush Netkeeper - Jerry Applebuck Bench - Falfer Hillbutt Bench - Welly Mistbelly Bench - Lamon Softbaugh Coach - Flanagan Greenwhistle The Adrian Black Barons The Adrian Black Barons were founded by Heinrik Otto Sarkozic, Duke of Adria, in 1908. The Duke’s intense fascination with the Heartland sport encouraged his people to band together and form a team. Although sometimes referred to as the Velec Vixens, this was never an official name. The team is widely acknowledged as the most aggressive of the 1908 expansion teams. ROSTER: Shielder - Hugh Heffher Halfback - Leo Pold Halfback - Heinrik Franzoc Netkeeper - Alec Ratiborison Netkeeper - Andrik Lethen Bench - Dzho Bydin Bench - Aleksei Vakera Bench - Boris Bydin Coach - Rikhein Ingrid The Atrus Stars The Atrus Stars were founded in 1908 after interest in the Folkball revival reached the southern lands following the 1907 championships. Named after the star of Saint Lothar, the Stars are known to pray before each match and usually have a few Canonist clergy praying during a match. Their play style relies on fast-moving, lightly armored players as they are more accustomed to playing in the arid southern dunes. ROSTER: Shielder - Alekos Georgopoulos Halfback - The Bianc Cavaliere Halfback - Alfredo Canto Netkeeper - Tahir Omer Netkeeper - Rafail Moor Bench - Bertando di Atrus Bench - Uloco il Veca Bench - Celiso Longo Coach - Kaream Jabar The Minitz Mootgoers The last of the 1908 expansion teams, the Minitz Mootgoers, were founded after the fourth Leonite Moot by the Reinmaren tribes, with their interests piqued by the 1907 Minitz-based tournament. Although many initially favored calling the team the Minitz Boars, some believed it too similar to the now-defunct Helena Hogs. Primarily recognized as the Barclays' team, the Minitz Mootgoers are defensively-minded and tend to use their halfbacks and shielders in a wall formation. ROSTER: Shielder - Reinhart Wilhelm Halfback - Gither von Volburg Halfback - Halfbert Pocke Netkeeper - Conrad Drerad Netkeeper - Angela Ziegler Bench - Stam Urher Bench - Gebhard von Minitz Bench - Pul Memstein Coach - Franz Bauerbecken

Heartland Folkball League Championships IX 1907 Heartland Folkball League in the Fields of Minitz Brought to you by The Miller’s Mark, Good for whatever ales you! 1907 Bracket Somehow this leaflet has found its way into your hands as you venture throughout Almaris. However, fear not; we will describe the world’s most riveting sport to you within the confines of this handbill. If you so enjoy it, perhaps you will try it with your neighbors and enjoy the communal affair that is Folkball (rules here). However, if there are no neighbors nearby, let us delight your sensations with the detailing of this Ninth Championship tournament in the Heartlands of man. We set the scene at the Ninth Championship series of the Heartland Folkball League (HFL) outside Minitz. These warm summer days are a true test of a man’s determination to claim the crown for his team and bring home the glory. This year lots were drawn for the ordering of the teams. While the Grenz Hurlers and Florentine Bulls pulled well, the Upstreeters and Suns did not. So, we have our bracket! Let’s get on with the games. Game 1 Grenz Hulers vs New Vienne Upstreeters Our first contest was set between the Grenz Hurlers and the New Vienne Upstreeters. Both teams have had violent streaks in the past, but they can certainly play the sport. It all started off with the shielders guarding the ball exceptionally well. However, after a few minutes tussling in the midfield, we saw the Hurler’s halfback, Heinrik Rarehird, throw an impressive long-range shot into the net for an early lead. Yet, the lead was lost with many successful catches by the long-range icon, the Upstreeter’s Charles ‘the Fish’ Fisherman. He has impressively been able to catch long and deep throughout his career, which was undoubtedly handy for this team. However, three overshot balls ended up awarding the Hurlers a point and a half in defense points. The only thing slowing down the Upstreeter’s offense was the poor net work of Merret the Brown Knight. Known for constantly falling face-first in the mud performing daring dives, they did not pay off in this game. The Hurlers, led by Rarehird, feinted and perfectly predicted his movements. In the end, a last-minute kick of the ball by New Vienne’s shielder, Jaremy Smith, sealed the deal. However, the Hurlers did not disappoint, only losing by a half point. There is talk about making the tournament a double-elimination contest, so in the future, a loss may not spell the end of a team’s season. We all know Hurlers fans will be happy to hear that! Game 2 Florentine Bulls vs Petran Suns Next, the Florentine Bulls took on the Petran Suns in a slightly uneven match. The Bulls have been desperately struggling to find new talent amongst the dwindling population of Florentine. Coach Filippo Jacoson has stated that there is a real possibility they will need to look for a new home or just disband. Meanwhile, the game itself was filled with failure by the Bulls. Of their nineteen shots on the net, none found their mark, and one went over the net to award the Suns a defensive point. Roberto il Toro being benched in this game certainly made the Bulls less fiery, but from his hand gestures on the sidelines, it can be presumed he would have been too violent to let into the game. The Sun’s shielder, Obidiah Longfoot, one of the only halflings ever to partake in the HFL, did an exceptional job. His short stature puts halfbacks and fellow shielders off guard and even allows him to grab the ball several times. Yet, the rushes only resulted in one score with a pass to Petran halfback Roger Norton. Overall the game showed promise for the Suns and a lack of cause by the Bulls. Without noticeable improvements, the Bulls may be bound to stay the lowest-ranked team in the HFL. Championships New Vienne Upstreeters vs Petran Suns The Championship Match was between the New Vienne Upstreeters and Petran Suns. After a dominating victory against the Bulls, most bookies favored the Suns. Overall, it was a close game in which the teams carefully avoided unnecessary shots on the net. As a result, no defensive points were awarded to either team. While Petran halfback Roger Norton dominated the catching game and scored four times, the Fisherman scored five for New Vienne, receiving some excellently placed and long-range catches from netters and halfs alike. Both men carried their teams, but Norton was left as the only scorer for Petra. Longfoot, the Sun’s shielder, could not generate much traction because of Jaremy Smith’s grappling. His rotund presence certainly outweighed the meager size of the halfling and made his patented ‘leg-chops’ less effective. At one point, Smith was seen to try and sit on Longfoot, which prompted interference from several Suns players to avoid those predictably disastrous consequences. In the end, the work of halfback Charles ‘the Fish’ Fisherman sealed the deal for New Vienne. When the final bell was rung, they stood triumphant and claimed the title of champions. For two years in a row, they have squeaked out above the other four teams of the HFL, but how much longer can their luck last? Find out next year! Congratulations to the Winners! of the Heartland Folkball League Championships XI For the second year in a row, THE NEW VIENNE UPSTREETERS! Past Champions 1899……… Petran Suns 1900……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1901……… Florentine Bulls 1902……… Florentine Bulls 1903……… Florentine Bulls 1904……… Grenz Hurlers 1905……… Petran Suns 1906……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1907……… New Vienne Upstreeters (This Year) History of the Heartland Folkball League The Heartland Folkball League (HFL) was founded in 1882 by the four oldest surviving Folkball teams in the Heartlands. Throughout the wars that plagued the 8th Empire and its subsequent successor states, Folkball became a luxury in which few could partake. However, in the aftermath and succeeding years of peace, many veterans and farm folk took to the sport to join their communities and hone their physical abilities during these times of peace. They agreed in 1899 that for one week a year, in the hot days between the planting and harvesting seasons, they would assemble to play for the title of best Folkball team. (Find out more about the sport here)

MC Name: CharmingCavalier Discord: CharmingCavalier#7089 Image: Description of Image: A shop logo Dimensions: 1x1

The Origins, Rules, and League of Heartland Folkball By Peter Norton Folkball at Play c. 1899 By Reginald C. Logreene Origins Recreational physical activities, especially communal ones, have always been a necessity. The Heartlanders are no exception, and the rural folk have played the game of Folkball for hundreds of years. Johannian city-dwellers are rumored to have played a game similar to the sport, focusing on two teams simultaneously keeping their team’s colored ball in the air while the others attempted to knock it to the ground. Little is known about the exact rules. However, the small ball that was used was traditionally made of leather and stuffed with feathers. John III was rumored to have a specialty ball created for the sport, which he much enjoyed, and had it stuffed with dove and swan feathers. Although some authors have tried to connect the origin of ball sports amongst the common folk to the Kha handball sport of Tlachtli, there is little evidence to support the contemporaneousness of this factoid. Likewise, a passing fad of bucketball in the mid-1800s stained and overshadowed traditional Heartland sports like Folkball. The specific start of Folkball is hard to conceptualize or investigate, as most know the sport fondly. It may trace its origins to Auvergne Bal de Guerre, a mob sport brought by Savoyard immigrants to Petrus in Athera. It lacked rules, was played between villages, had no player limit, and was incredibly violent. Since the Chivays, bucolic communities have played Folkball amongst their fields. With recent lulls in warfare, the sport’s popularity has climbed. Yet, it has always remained popular during the interlude between planting and harvesting seasons when most commoners are left with little to do. Seeing this, this treatise will lay out the rules of the sport, as they are commonly understood, in hopes of encouraging its play amongst all people. Rules A Folkball pitch is 21 meters squared and made of sand. On all sides, a wall is erected, usually a fence or barricade. In the middle of the field is a leather ball filled with straw. Especially fancy games may have a ball made of boiled pig's bladder, painted, and stuffed with various feathers. A game lasts 60 minutes and is traditionally monitored by two line officials, two net officials, and one master referee. At the two ends of the field, the wall is waist-height. Above the wall is a net. The ball must be thrown, kicked, or headered into this net for a point to count. Any attempt by the opposing team that goes over the net results in a half-point given to the defending team. A standard Folkball team is made of five players. There are no substitutions or replacements allowed. Their start positions are shown on the grid below. Each tile of the grid represents a one-meter squared section of the field. Those shown in blue below are the Shielders. Shielders are given a shield to block, push, or bludgeon their opponents. However, they must mind not hitting an opponent's head, or they will be ejected. The Netkeepers are shown in green, more commonly known as the Netters. They must prevent the folkball from entering the net. Likewise, they must ensure that any attempt is caught or goes over the net; the latter is preferable since it delivers a half point to their team. The Halfbacks, also known as the Halfs, are shown in magenta because they are halfway between the Shielders and the Netkeepers. Their job is two-fold: First, offensively, they are to charge forth and secure the folkball for their team. A common tactic is to let the Shielders push others away while the Halfs dive in and run the ball down the field. They are the most skilled in running and catching the folkball. Second, defensively they must tackle, block, and beat the opposing Halfs if they attempt to score in the net. N N H H S S H H N N The physicality of Folkball is defined by only two rules. First, no weapons are allowed except a shield for the Shielders. Second, any blow is legal if it comes from the foot, leg, body, arm, or hand. There is no biting or spitting allowed. Likewise, no hit can go above the neck, and heads are strictly forbidden from being used as a weapon or hit by another player. Players who violate these rules are ejected by a referee. ((OOC Rules:)) The Heartland Folkball League The Heartland Folkball League (HFL) was founded in 1882 by the four oldest surviving Folkball teams in the Heartlands. Throughout the wars that plagued the 8th Empire and its subsequent successor states, Folkball became a luxury in which few could partake. However, in the aftermath and succeeding years of peace, many veterans and farm folk took to the sport to join their communities and hone their physical abilities during these times of peace. They agreed in 1899 that for one week a year, in the hot days between the planting and harvesting seasons, they would assemble to play for the title of best Folkball team. The four founding teams of the HFL, currently the only teams still operating, are the Grenz Hurlers, Florentine Bulls, New Vienne Upstreeters, and Petran Suns. Each team’s roster and history are detailed below: The Florentine Bulls The newest of the teams, the Florentine Bulls, were founded by Servo Falcone in 1878. Although named after the Hyspian bulls that were freed in the region following the Brother’s War by rogue imperial forces, the Florentine bulls dominated Folkball during the early 1900s, winning three consecutive titles from 1901-1903. Their streak was only broken in 1904 when they were disqualified for an illegal headbutt by Roberto il Toro to the Hurler’s Netter, Pate Mors. With the recent decline in Florentine’s prosperity, the team is struggling to find new talent. ROSTER: Shielder - Giuseppe il Muro Halfback - Francesco Falcone Halfback - Antonio la Bianca Netkeeper - Stefano Valentina Netkeeper - Carmin Stello Bench - Roberto il Toro Bench - Carlo Bordin Bench - Robert il Niro Coach - Filippo Jacoson The Grenz Hurlers The Grenz Hurlers predate Folkball and trace their roots to the ancient Hanseti sport of Stonneball, or stoneball in common. The game was similar to Folkball in its scoring but differed with its intense violence and heavy ball made of hewn stone. Although recruiting from the country folk of the Kingdom of Haeseni-Ruska, the team mostly plays in the northern Heartlands. Its founding members or date are unknown, but the team is known for its brutality and holds the record for most ejections in a single game, with three. They were initially called the Grenz Highlanders but changed their name in 1882. ROSTER: Shielder - Viktor Berenson Halfback - Heinrik Rarehird Halfback - Willem Steav Netkeeper - Baldemar Baltsoeng Netkeeper - Pate Mors Bench - Everard Franz Feodorson Bench - Seth Hairytooth Bench - Eckehard Kranz Coach - Friedrich Meier The New Vienne Upstreeters The New Vienne Upstreeters have seen the rise and fall of many cities but have stayed steadfast in their dedication to the sport of Folkball. Hailing from the small villages surrounding the most formidable Heartland city, they originally formed the Helena Upstreeters in 1784. Since they have moved from the original field to ones in Providence, New Providence, Vienne, and finally, New Vienne. They are most well known for their storied rivalry with the Downstreeters. In the chaos following the St. Ari’s Day Massacre, the Upstreeters ended the feud by playing a game of Folkball with no rules, which allowed for all weapons. Although only three Upstreeters survived, the Downstreeters were never reformed from that defeat. ROSTER: Shielder - Jaremy Smith Halfback - Simon Bishop Halfback - Charles Fisherman Netkeeper - Merrett the Brown Knight Netkeeper - Walter Roberts Bench - Clarence Wilson Bench - Morgan Robins Bench - Bryar Harris Coach - Greg Miller The Petran Suns Founded in 1620 as the Mardon Mudeaters, the Petran Suns are the oldest Folkball team in the HFL. Throughout their centuries, they have waned in continuity and, at times, have disbanded. However, they have returned from every slump. Some of the names this team has used over the years include the Courland Cats, Marna Hogs, Helena Hogs, and Providence Pipers. They are considered the quintessential Heartland team. Although disputed, the Suns claim the most titles. This is only possible due to their claim to have won archaic championships, which are not recognized in the HFL. ROSTER: Shielder - Obidiah Longfoot Halfback - Roger Norton Halfback - Ferris Newman Netkeeper - Joseph Green Netkeeper - Glenn Clarke Bench - Craig Gregerson Bench - Byron Hammond Bench - Simon Cowl Coach - Peter Norton

The Miller's Mark Good For Whatever Ales You Somewhere nestled deep in the heartlands, there’s a miller that works for more than money. A Miller by trade and surname, they realized long ago that the industrial brewing of the city wasn’t gonna cut it. Haste makes waste; that’s what we always say. We are a family-run business that puts love into every drink we make. We aren’t your average tavern swill that is mass-produced and thrown in your cup. We carefully select the ingredients that go into each one of our wines, whiskeys, and spirits every year. Then we let our strong sons carry the barrels to the mill’s basement and let it rest, the way God intended. With every barrel, we guarantee it is good, or we wouldn’t put The Miller’s Mark on it! And that’s the Miller’s Guarantee! Limited wares! Place your order today to avoid missing out! Orders can be placed via bird to Paul or Debra Miller at 14 Mill Lane, Heartlands. Examples of Our Work:

SPECIAL TITLE RELEASE THE EDICT OF SEPARATION Bards & Nobles (B&N) is proud to announce the special publication of the 100th Anniversary Edition of the Edict of Separation. Initially issued by Emperor Anne I in 339 E.S. (1786 IST), the document examined the existing dissatisfaction within the Haeseni realm. Resultingly, the co-monarchs released the Kingdom of Hanseti-Ruska from its subjection under the Imperial crown. As celebrations thrive over Haense this year, B&N thought it proper to release such a historical document with colorized pages and our signature formatting. Every Haeseni household should own one, but hurry before we run out! Located at Crown Avenue IV Karosgrad, Haense

A NEW BOOKSTORE IS COMING TO YOUR LOCAL AREA!!! Flagship Store Opening - Located at Crown Avenue IV Karosgrad, Haense Bards & Nobles (B&N) is a multi-national publishing conglomerate formed by the merger of Penton Napier Publishing and Hieromar's Novel Hovel in 90 S.A. (439 E.S./1886 IST). This acquisition of a sizable collection of titles and ample funds has allowed the business to open its first store in record time. However, we are still looking to expand! B&N could be moving into your neighborhood and bringing you the premier titles you wish to read, including... THE SCROLL OF GOSPEL Published in 1824 IST NATURAL WEALTH Published in 1810 IST THE MORTAL CHIME Published in 1812 IST The Poor Side of Baker Street Published in 1818 IST The Philippian Chronicles Published in 1853 IST AND MANY MORE...

MC Name: CharmingCavalier Discord: CharmingCavalier#7089 Image: Description of Image: A shop logo Dimensions: 2 wide, 1 high

IGN: CharmingCavalierCategory: "Creative Writing / Poetry"Artwork: https://www.lordofthecraft.net/forums/topic/214559-the-philippian-chronicles

By Henry Penton -| FOREWORD |- Dearest reader, I must begin by properly introducing myself. I am Henry Penton, and for over sixty years, I observed the history of Oren. I lived and experienced this history. From Joseph II to Philip III, I had been immersed, by a manner of my trade in statesmanship, in the decisions that shaped this era. Bearing witness to the triumphs of the state brings along the simultaneous, and most uninvited, observation of the mechanisms by which they were developed. This is the true story of these Emperor’s reigns, feats, and moreso their failures. This is the story of the Philippian Era. -| CHAPTER I |- || THE END OF THE PETRINE ERA || The reign of Joseph II came to an end in 1814, and with his death, the Petrine era concluded. While some scholars have mistakenly described the time after Joseph II as being continuous of the Petrine years, I posit that, following his death, there was a distinct and altered environment of Imperial politics, virtue, and life. This was partly fueled by the dissolution and further obscurity of the Josephite party and ideals, which disbanded in 1815. Moreover, the Philippian era was characterized by the increasing desperation of leaders, turmoil and violence upon succession, conflict abroad, and the deterioration of Petrine values The Pentonian Model of Orenian History Following the historical era system presented by Josephine Augusta and Simon Basrid in both volumes of the Epochs of the Empire, I have constructed the above timeline of Imperial Eras. Likewise, I divided the previously indicated Petrine era at the death of Joseph II in 1814. Although some of the reforms conducted by Joseph II were of important use to me in my work in the Imperial Treasury, notably the Edict of Revaluation from 1807, the totality of his reign following the death of Anne in 1800 was the beginning of a decline. Although in some ways held together through his political connections and the respect of the state’s bustling bureaucracy, the very tail of his reign was impotent. The Sedanite Rebellion of 1811 to 1813 is a successful accolade Joseph II retains. However, it was somewhat tarnished by the Committee of Public Safety implementation in the same year. Though composed of the leading figures from his cabinet, it was rife with the Josephites’ traditional corruption and wanton disregard for legal rights. Joseph II had many personal characteristics that would have made him a more effective ruler in different times. He was highly educated, urbane, and of paramount intellect. He directed investments into the arts, science, and agriculture, exhibiting a genuine interest in topics in which past rulers had displayed little. His Imperial Majesty had been raised in a time of great cultural upheaval within the Empire and taught by pioneering statesmen like Basrid and Armas. The Emperor was simultaneously able to relate to the masses while quietly chafing under the constraints that the new model of monarchy had entailed. But he was also fundamentally conservative and dogmatic in his belief in the systems and institutions of the last century. He always denied the need for reform; if he had not denied it, he would have rejected that the monarch had any role in bringing that reform about. Like his late wife and co-ruler, he feared interfering with his ministers, preferring to let them make their own decisions, no matter the risks. Despite all of his flaws, Joseph II remains viewed favorably by history. His docile and legalistic nature following the death of Anne I is revered for its pragmatism but disgraced by its inadequacy. To this author, he is seen as the beginning of a decline. -| CHAPTER II |- || THE LAST STABLE YEARS || HIM John VIII, Holy Orenian Emperor Circa 1835 For all his legal knowledge and government experience, much like his father, John VIII lacked the internal exertion to see through much change in an ailing Empire. From the onset of his reign, the man demonstrated a flaw in the imperial succession: three generations waiting for the throne. First was his brother, the Duke of Crestfall, who was announced as his heir presumptive by edict in 1815. Behind that was the son of the Duke of Crestfall, Philip Aurelian, the Duke of Adria. The same year as the edict Philip Amadeus, later known as the Duke of Furnestock in 1836, was born and entered the succession. From this point forward, there would be no less than three men in the line of succession, each grappling for support well before their time and being drained of good health and years by a matter of time. The year following the Edict of Renzfeld, 1816, saw Joseph II’s Archchancellor, Franz Nikolai de Sarkozy, retire to southern estates. The reigns then fell to Ledicort d’Azor. At first, it must be said that Ledicort excelled in the role. Having been a member of the House of Lords and in the Council of State, he had the requisite experience. Despite the continuous rise of political parties and movements, both legal and illegal, during the reign of John VIII, he balanced the niceties and firmness an Archchancellor must be capable of. Both John and Ledicort’s most significant achievements came from the years of 1818 to, effectively, 1821. These were the years of the Tenth Nordling War, declared by King Sven II of Norland in 1818 on the precept that his lands were assaulted by a band of Orenian noblemen going under the name of the “Sons of Horen.” There is little evidence that this happened, in truth, and the reality is that this was nothing but a guise for a war the king intended to press regardless of circumstance. John VIII Commanding at the Battle of Outer Arentania Circa 1821 This all coalesced after extended skirmishing at the Battle of Outer Arentania in 1821. There, Emperor John VIII personally commanded his armies and crushed the invasive Norlandish and Ferrymen forces. Ledicort’s crowning moment came on the battlefield as he personally led contingent brigades from the front and fought alongside the common man. He is the last Archchancellor to have done so. -| CHAPTER III |- || THE ACCEPTANCE OF INDOLENCE || The 26th Archchancellor of the Holy Orenian Empire, Ledicort d’Azor, Duke of Azor However, after the war’s conclusion in 1824, though it had all but ended at Outer Arentania three years prior, the pair fell into a lull that would last the rest of their reign and tenure. By all accounts, John was adverse to change and took after his father on the nature of the monarchy: that bringing about reform was not the monarchy’s prerogative. Instead, that task fell to Ledicort, who admittedly failed. Although Ledicort’s early years were exceptional, his latter years were cluttered with various periods of long hiatuses, failed attempts to rejuvenate the government, and constant distractions from his own familiar kin. Most notably among these was Joseph d’Azor, the firstborn son and heir of Ledicort. Appointed to the role of Minister of War during the Nordling conflict, he did little to reform the continuously degrading army. If anything, it was a sign of nepotism that haunts Ledicort’s record. As mentioned earlier, political parties were quickly stifling society around this time. Some, such as the Risorgimentists, Adrianites, and White Glovers, were passing crazes that had little impact on the broader historical portrait. However, being both social and political, the Rosemoor movement is of keen interest to those investigating this time. In fact, it was one of many factors that spurred the empire’s decline. In summary, the Rosemoorian stance was that succession laws within the empire should become absolutely cognatic, or in layman’s terms, female children should inherit on the same ground as men. As you can imagine, this flared a fiery debate between the nobility. Some, such as this author, criticized the movement for only focusing on securing these rights for noble women. As it must be noted, ordinary women were, and still are, unable to marry without the permission of the head of their household. Regardless, the Imperial Princess Elizabeth Anne was the originator of the movement and the Rosemoor Bill in the House of Lords. A contentious argument occurred in 1830 between the princess and the Duke of Crestfall, the heir to the empire and future Philip II. Philip was a known anti-Rosemoorian on the more traditional ground that women were not equal to men. Through the rules of the House of Lords, Philip sanctioned and silenced his sister, Princess Elizabeth. Although she nobly pursued other routes of expression, and the broader society was wholly discontent with Philip’s handling of the affair, she died in 1831 of grief and stress. This traumatized John VIII and permanently put him at odds with Philip, the Duke of Crestfall, as he blamed him for the death of his most beloved sister. Perhaps this could have been mended by Ledicort, but as was foreseen, the man was distracted and oft struggling to get his ministers to meet. In the years following 1831, both men lost their power and will to rule, damaging their reputations, both at the time and historically. By the time John VIII passed away in 1837 at the age of eighty, the empire was stable and wealthy from years of peace, yet entirely unmanaged and economically faltering. It should be remembered by all that despite the institutional decline concomitant to his reign, John VIII is, at the time of writing this work, the last monarch to lead Oren to victory in a war against a foreign power. His successors, with their own legacies of consistent failures, often did their utmost to avoid drawing attention to this reality. This can only be considered a dishonest and nakedly cynical attempt to improve their image. In honesty, John VIII was the last Emperor of the eighth Empire to not harm the state intentionally. He was also the last monarch to have a peaceful transfer of power upon his death. Malice was not on the agenda of this Emperor, and from this author’s many youthful nights spent sitting with the aged monarch, I can testify that he was a man beset by his life before the monarchy. Nonetheless, he never let this interfere with his duty and is only partly culpable for his inattentive nature, partially relieved due to his fifty-seven years of hard, war-torn life before ascending to the throne. Generally, the reign of John VIII was promising at first but severely suffered in its later years. Perhaps the imperial trajectory could have been diverted with more resolve from Ledicort following the Nordling War or dedication by the Emperor to change dying systems. Almost certainly, the Duke of Crestfall being made the heir to the empire drastically undercut these occurrences. This author ponders what the world could have looked like if John VIII had sired a legitimate child or legitimized his bastard son. But hopeful reflection is a game played by fools, and I am no fool. History stands that Emperor John VIII was a good man who led a stable and formidable empire yet was part of a decaying system that he and his Archchancellor did not have the will or strength to fix. -| CHAPTER IV |- || AN ERRATIC EMPEROR || || AND AN ASININE ARCHCHANCELLOR || HIM Philip II, Holy Orenian Empire Circa 1847 It is a sinister idea to name one’s son Philip. As if Our Lord had not blessed the Empire with enough foul luck, it was with these last two Emperors that the deterioration of the state, a semblance of cohesiveness, and all hope was snuffed out. Although some would argue which of the two’s reigns they preferred, it is unattainable to this author why anyone would prefer idiocy to perfidiousness. Upon the death of Emperor John VIII on his eightieth birth day, on which occasion I sang him a very catchy tune to most Orenians adopted shortly after to celebrate their name days, his brother, Philip, the Duke of Crestfall, quickly moved to coronate himself. He was in his seventy-eighth year. To his benefit, the newly-anointed Philip II was a devout man but an old dotard nonetheless. His initial edicts to reform the floundering Imperial Diet did little. The only thing that flourished during his early reign were plots, both of assassination and overthrow. From the palace, army, bureaucrats, and imperial family, the stirrings of insurrections against His Imperial Majesty were around each corner of Imperial life. Yet, it was usually Philip II’s son, the Duke of Adria, though unpopular in his own right among many classes, that made tensions subside. The 27th Archchancellor of the Holy Orenian Empire, Drasus DeNurem, Count of Mordskov However, his initial choice for Archchancellor was deplorable. Drasus DeNurem, relative of the famed General Alren DeNurem, was unknown and disliked by the vast majority of his councilors. In fact, he had not held a government posting his entire life prior to assuming the role. A white-haired maniac, although more attentive than in the final years of the preceding ministry of Ledicort d’Azor, DeNurem was also impertinent, hostile, and ill-natured to work with. In 1840 the delusional Philip II put into effect the Edict of Visgia, forcing every one of his subjects to read the Holy Scrolls in their entirety and each noble house to select a patron saint. This was, if anything, a passing trend that died with the elder Emperor. Likewise, the Society of Saint James was a rather lackluster and short-lived project of Philip II that sought to debate religious matters personal to the Emperor but not his people. The Then Heir-Apparent of the Holy Orenian Empire, HIH Philip Aurelian, Duke of Adria Philip II’s succession is also due for analysis. Since the man was older than I am now as I write this, he had not only a grandson but a great-grandson vying for the throne. Three generations of Novellens had been placed behind the decrepit despot, and, as all men do, they sought power. First in line was the aforementioned Philip Aurelian, the Duke of Adria. He was in his fifty-third year upon his father’s ascent and confined to a group of isolated supporters in the nobility. Following the Duke of Adria was Philip Amadeus, the Duke of Furnestock. He was more popular among the Imperial masses but inattentive to government matters like his father. Finally, there was Peter Augustus, also known as Peter the Greater, who was the third in line to the throne but a child, born in 1842. In essence, the very arrangement of the succession was wrought with destruction. The Duke of Adria and the Duke of Furnestock were concerned about the other’s power, and the Emperor was equally suspicious, as was his nature. If anything, this has taught students of history that successions that stretch beyond one or two generations are detrimental to the state. When the supposed body of Philip Amadeus, the Duke of Furnestock and second-in-line to the throne, was delivered to the Imperial capital in 1844, every member of the Council of State could tell that the man lying in state was an imposter. The corpse was not the appropriate height, was plump, and obviously not a man of Imperial stock. Philip II, who was by now half-blind and senile, obstinately refused to accept this. Even Rev Vuiller, the ordinarily stoic Solicitor-General, prostrated himself before the sovereign’s wheelchair, alternately flattering, pleading, cajoling, and crying in despair. It was to no avail, so let it never be said that we did not try. “That is my grandson, who lies dead,” proclaimed the trembling Emperor, and a state funeral was held. This failure to adhere to advice was foundational in the eventual conflict that was to come. Nonetheless, the Emperor was unswayed and wrongfully put aside the issue of succession. The Duke of Furnestock was dead, and that was the end of it. Or was it? -| CHAPTER V |- || WAR AND WOMEN RULE THE DAY || It was in 1845 that the Council of State rose up and forced Philip II to assign his daughter, Josephine, Princess Imperial, as the new Archchancellor. Many viewed this as desperate since a Princess Imperial assuming the highest government office was not only irregular but unheard of throughout centuries of Imperial history. Josephine was undoubtedly better than her predecessor but was pent up in her office, drafting designs for what would become New Providence. For her part, she was incredibly reluctant to take this unprecedented appointment. Though she would never get to enjoy her crowning accomplishment, her tenure was an arduous struggle most would not undertake. Between governing and corralling the erratic whims of her father, she chose the latter, and there were no competent statesmen who would have been as successful at the task. This work does not intend to speak on the tenures of the Archchancellors, as that is not its purpose, and another tome I will release soon. However, as the first female Archchancellor, Josephine personified a progressive era, though she was staunchly conservative. We can only hope that time will look favorably upon her. The 28th Archchancellor of the Holy Orenian Empire, HIH Josephine Augusta, Duchess of Crestfall A Great Writer, Leader, Architect, Conservative, and Friend. We do not know if Philip II’s nurse came up with his next stratagem for 1848. This author hopes so, as it is much more comforting to believe that this next crisis was a consequence of an enfeebled Emperor taken advantage of by his carers, than it is to believe that any occupant of the Imperial Throne could be such a brainless buffoon. At eighty-eight years old, His Imperial Majesty’s next plan to win the public’s support was to start a war with Urguan. Naturally, no one was informed of this until the war was declared in 1849. Secretly meeting Grand King Ulfric Frostbeard, the geriatric Emperor even believed he had secured “a polite war,” whereby no raids would be conducted, and prisoners returned after each clash. He was not only wrong but disastrously so. It is still seared into my memory to see the ancient man, clad in hob shackled plate, meandering aimlessly across the bridges before Providence. He screeched orders at forces long gone in pursuit of the enemy, a man moving paper armies and surrounded by staff that had to simply observe his outbursts. Shortly after the War of Lower Petra broke out and a series of brutal losses to the Urguanites, a conspiracy came to light. The reader can imagine the Council of State’s shock when it was revealed that the Duke of Furnestock was not only alive and well but had faked his death so that he could plot against his grandfather and father without scrutiny. For almost a year, the second-in-line to the throne had been amassing support amongst the aristocracy for a coup. Not a single peer had divulged this information to either the Emperor or his government, which is a fair gauge of public opinion at that time. -| CHAPTER VI |- || A REVOLUTION OF BLOOD AND LITTLE CHANGE || The Adrian Assassination, By Sara Greenhoof, Circa 1850 The Mistress and the Apparition of Anastasia Murder the Duke of Adria It was also in 1849 that these plotters commenced their conspiracy. The Duke of Furnestock, his wife, Anastasia, and the Prince of Savoy, Olivier Renault, plotted in the south to kill Philip’s father, the Duke of Adria, and then coup his grandfather. This assassination came to fruition in the early part of the year when the last bricks of New Providence were being laid. The Duke of Adria was lured into the chambers of one of his mistresses and stabbed through the heart. This particular mistress, of which the Duke kept many across the empire, was vexed by the recent imperial decision to not recognize their child as legitimate, as it was born far from the Duke’s marriage bed with his own cousin. Despite warnings from astute advisors such as myself, who had keen insight into the ongoings of the plot, Philip II existed in a state of ignorant bliss. Only after the Duke’s death did the Emperor begin to take on an even more accelerated manic state, with chaos in his empire quickly ensuing. Many of his nobles flocked to San Luciano, the capital of Savoy, to swear new fealty to the more able-bodied but perhaps no more stable-minded, self-proclaimed Philip III. Very rapidly, in the course of a matter of days, the armies of Savoy were marching across the bridges to Providence, and the Imperial State Army under Major Erik Othaman surrendered the city after a conversation with Lord Marshal Erik Ruthern, the grandfather of Anastasia and now turned sympathizer. It still haunts me to this day to hear the old Philip II, in some of his final remarks, wail about how his grandson had no support. Even as the black banners bearing the white sun of the Savoyards marched into the city, he frantically wrote orders to armies that only existed in his mind. He remarked that his grandson only had herds of voracious women and proclaimed that he would reign for another fifty years if he could talk to his grandson privately. The pitiful Emperor that was Philip II passed shortly before he could see New Providence surrender. He was found slumped over his desk in his favorite wicker wheelchair. His daughter, Josephine, on the other hand, had traveled briefly to the northern lands of Haense to offer the northmen the title of Emperor, the Imperial lands, and the crown jewels. King Sigismund III, compelled by his advisors, denied this last hope, though, and Josephine returned to the city she built mere minutes after her father’s death. In the chaos, while ordering records be destroyed to not fall into the hands of the usurper, she was run over by a carriage carrying the rotund Anne Bertha de Novellen. Anne Bertha was a distant but peculiar imperial family member trying to escape the city with her assortment of jewels, sweets, and small dogs. The Emperor was dead, and so too was the Archchancellor. At this point, the Duke of Furnestock made many promises and pledges when he entered the capital. Looking back, the simple fervor of the moment obscured the man’s significant disabilities. He had killed his father, promised the world to the empire, and was prepared to deliver none of it. And so Philip Amadeus, Duke of Furnestock, was crowned Philip III, Holy Orenian Emperor by High Pontiff Everard VI in the Basilica of the Argentine Star. The rushed ceremony was conducted after the High Pontiff, who had a knack for stumbling into situations, was compelled by the assembled mob to anoint their chosen Emperor without contemplation or the curia’s advice. The Aster Revolution was complete, and Philip III was on the throne, but this was merely the escalating point for the failure of the empire, which had by now become a glorified client state of the Savoyards. Philip II shared many characteristics of his grandson, although most would prefer not to say it aloud. Both Philip II and the future Philip III were brash men who often shied away from good counsel in favor of ill-fitted desires for godliness or glory, respectively. My Own Printing of the Aster Revolution Depicts Savoyard and Orenian Armies Marching Across the Unification Bridge in Providence, Circa 1849 To boot, some of the lesser-known stories of Philip II only further delude the remainder of the respect some have for him. When this author was Minister of the Treasury, he once set boats with over seventeen thousand golden marks and had men row them to the high elven capital. Despite protests from his councilors and any reasonable man, Philip II loaned the Silver Principality these funds and only took six elven erotic novels as collateral. To say the least, the elves did not ever repay the debt. Although this was unprovident, his spending did not stop there. During my tenure as Minister of the Treasury, Philip II spent over four thousand marks on miniature chinchillas. It is a most unpleasant memory to think of the dotard sitting amongst his flock of foreign wooly rodents while commanding the treasury to spend lavishly on soirees or procuring him a galleon, a dream of his that I was able to squander on several occasions. Likewise, Philip II lacked awareness of the taboos which he committed. In 1848 he married his granddaughter-in-law in a celibate marriage, which, while not sacreligious, was irreverent. -| CHAPTER VII |- || THE TRUTH OF THE CO-RULERS || HIM Philip III, Holy Orenian Empire Circa 1846 Of Note: Philip III did eventually abandon and condemn wigs, though he began his reign in one. Philip III came to the throne with widespread adulation. Extremely prematurely, in the first month of his reign, the Aster Revolution agents had called him ‘Philip the Great.’ Philip Parricida was a more suitable moniker, and it carried the benefit of this author’s favorite literary tool: alliteration. It must be conceded that parricide does not reasonably fall within Philip III’s twenty most dire sins if this author were to rank them. We could undoubtedly find great men in history who have killed their fathers. Philip Parricida was not one of them. To start off his reign, once the dust of the “Revolution” had settled, very little changed. The Vice Chancellor, Minuvas Melphaestus, was made acting Archchancellor. He was never appointed by Imperial Writ, Philip not wanting to be the first Emperor to proclaim an elf as de facto leader of humanity. Prince-Emeritus Olivier Renault of Savoy “One of the Worst Statesmen in Modern History” However, what was clear from the beginning was the failed promises of Prince Olivier Renault of Savoy. He promised the unification of humanity, immigration of all Savoyard populaces, and unconquerable military forces upon Philip’s ascent. The moronic move to hand over the power of Savoy to his son, then Prince Olivier Laurène, spent any control over the state of Savoy he had and destroyed any assistance he could have offered to Oren. This author can easily say that these were but words uttered by a historical loudmouth. If Olivier Renault should be remembered for one thing, it is not the unjust overthrow of an impotent monarch, but rather his utter failure in ruling the aftermath. Around the first years, the Emperor began to lose confidence in his acting Archchancellor, the Prince Minuvas Melphaestus, perhaps believing that he had too many ideas or was too elvish in demeanor. The time had come to retire him to an elven reservation known as Ebonwood and appoint a new government. Philip had a particular skill-set in mind when looking for a new Archchancellor. They expressly wanted someone incapable, much like Philip’s wife. The reason was simple: the conundrum-inducing future co-monarchs were set on ruling incompetently on their own, relieved of good advice and sound men. The monarchs conducted interviews along these constraints and eventually found their perfect man: Joseph d’Azor, the Duke of Azor. He had been a lifelong companion to the Emperor and one of his first supporters in his revolution. Notably, his father had been Archchancellor to John VIII, so this was to be the Second Azor Ministry. The 29th Archchancellor of the Holy Orenian Empire, Joseph d’Azor, Duke of Azor “A Man Who Enjoyed Eating and Having Affairs, Not Governing.” In the end, Azor did precisely as he had promised when the co-rulers had interviewed him: nothing. Bearing in mind what the monarchs had prescribed, there was no more adept candidate for this. Azor was of the background of the new nobility, whose father had bequeathed him both considerable wealth and a political legacy. Still, these resources were squandered by a man who was simultaneously indolent, slow-witted, and almost perpetually paralyzed by indecision. No policies, programs, judgments, or decisions came from the Archchancellor during these years. The good Duke spent most of his energy in his office carrying on an affair with his mistress, who he then subsequently made a minister of the Crown. This went against the advice of myself and all of any mental capacity. During the early years of the Second Azor Ministry, an obscure cousin to the Emperor from the Temeschine line, Henry Constanz de Novellen, masterminded the Michaelite, or Petty, Schism of 1849. The term ‘mastermind’ is a vast overstatement of his competencies. This pallid, twisted character appeared to have no education, skills in critical reasoning, or even any redeeming qualities, which was, in fairness to him, a broader complication in the Temesch family. For some reason, he had embedded himself deep in the counsel of Philip III. A rot that would further blemish a reign. The Petty Schism was not only poorly planned and executed but a testament to the deficiencies of Henry Constanz. It began during the coronation of Prince Olivier Laurène of Savoy and ended a little under a month after its inception. During the coronation, the Prince not only forsook the Pontiff, but the Emperor joined him, encouraged by the whispering lies of Henry the Half-Wit. While Savoyard soldiers were meant to guard the High Pontiff, Everard VI, they became enraptured with the enthronement process of the false Michael I. It was then that the Duke of Valwyck, Eirik Baruch, along with other notable Haeseni, simply ushered the aged clergyman out the front door. A pitiful ending to a petty schism. The 57th High Pontiff of the Church of the Canon HH Everard VI High Pontiff Everard VI subsequently excommunicated those involved, including Emperor Philip III, the Empress, and Prince-Emeritus Olivier Renault. As many good Canonists made up the Imperial ranks, a walk of atonement was shortly thereafter agreed to by the Emperor, Empress, and Everard. Although a disgrace to Imperial honor to be hauled through Haeseni streets under a hail of tomatoes and expletives, it pales compared to the diplomatic damage done by Henry the Half-Wit. This irrevocable action set the Empire on a collision course with Haense and the High Pontiff, who promptly joined the War in Lower Petra on the side of the Urguanites. Tangentially, the Empress, in her usual oblivious and witless state, was enthralled with the idea of wearing rags and walking in front of her people. Her surprise and sudden rage when she realized it would be done barefoot are memorable. A true testament to the clueless nature she maintained throughout her reign. In a twist of irony, the entire reason why Emperor Philip III was even seduced by the Half-Wit in the first place was that myself and Archchancellor Azor were previously engaged in diplomatic dinners that evening. Within a few minutes, the good governance this author had tried to retain, in whatever semblance it could be found amongst the rubble of the ‘revolution,’ was smashed. By listening to Henry Constanz, Philip III had started the rockslide that would bring down the Petrine Empire. Although they conducted the walk and received penance from Everard VI while simultaneously disgracing the imperial honor even more than they had done thus far, the Pontiff had ulterior motives. Before the Petty Schism had even begun, the Pontiff had secured letters in the Empress’ own hand, discussing the plans for killing Philip Amadeus, the Duke of Adria, her father-in-law. Despite being delivered to the Church by a known azdrazi, the validity of these letters is undeniable, and I can reaffirm their authenticity. May God only understand why she would have ever put pen to paper with these thoughts, but it is yet another testimony that idiocy runs in the bones of Novellens. This evidence prompted the Second Excommunication of the Empress and Emperor, just days following the lifting of the first. In essence, the Pontiff had wisely embarrassed the imperial figureheads first with a promise of atonement yet judiciously withheld evidence that was used for another excommunication. And this time, there would be no walk of penance. Both sides made sure of that. -| CHAPTER VIII |- || FURTHER CONUNDRUMS OF THE CO-RULERS || HIM Anastasia I, Holy Orenian Empress Seen here riding about the streets with her usual oblivious, inattentive, and cross-eyed expression. Following this arduous time, Philip III proclaimed his wife a co-monarch in 1853, one with equal power to the Emperor, who would rule after his death. This created several issues for the state. First, Anastasia was a Ruthern by blood and held no claim to the Novellen mantle. Second, Anastasia was incapable and arrogantly removed from all government affairs. Days would pass without her being seen in council meetings for her to return, reignite conflict, be in a perpetual state of inept confusion, and then disappear for the cycle to repeat. Philip had tried to nullify these failures by the state in the proclaiming edict that a widowed Empress Anastasia could not remarry. However, as his advisors informed him, Emperors, nor Empresses, are not bound by the edicts of previous Emperors. Therefore, a widowed Empress of Ruthern blood could remarry, have offspring with another, and then found her own dynasty by overriding the succession, as is the sole prerogative of an imperial monarch. Undoubtedly this was a mistake that future Emperors should avoid. Setting the precedent that decidedly unfit individuals ascend to the throne would only perpetuate the fall of any state. Emperor Philip knew this well, though, during these times. Instead, he took to destroying the empire on his own with a magnificent display of irresponsible promises. Around this time, the Emperor had promised his third and youngest son Frederick Charles the crown. He also simultaneously promised it to his eldest son, Peter Augustus, as was his birthright. The second imperial child, James Maximillian, was rumored to be a hunchback with vast physical deformities due to his family’s inbred nature. He was overlooked not only by his parents but by society. And at that, the stage was set for conflict between the young Peter and Frederick, both promised a crown by their father. Peter, admittedly, squandered his time in preparing for an inheritance dispute, as he unsuccessfully led many ventures during his father’s reign. Dichotomously, Frederick readied for a war against his brother from the day he had heard his father promised to uphold Peter’s succession. His entire early adulthood was squarely focused on plotting, securing, and negotiating his ascent against the rightful succession of the Imperial Throne. One could not estimate the bounds of the co-rulers’ bizarre innovations, which throughout we endeavored to warn against. Their son Frederick began to keep company with a community of foreign easterners from across the seas and had adopted their customs. These refugees from Oyashima sought to settle somewhere in the empire. In other circumstances, we would have been glad to have them. On this occasion, however, Prince Frederick entered a meeting of the Council of State wearing a floral kimono, their traditional dress, while brandishing a half-completed Imperial decree. This decree stated that Their Imperial Majesties were to surrender Oltremont and transalpine Arentania to Frederick’s rule. He was to become the independent ruler of the Oyashiman people on imperial land. It only required the monarchs’ signatures and was presented to the council as fait accompli. Philip III initially spoke words of great support for this proposal. The Empress sat in her high seat, wide awake yet simultaneously comatose. Azor slithered obesely but said nothing. Fortunately, those counselors unafflicted by premature dementia convinced the monarchs that the surrender of a third of the country to create an ethnic land for a people who owed us no allegiance amid an existential war was, in mild terms, imprudent. This was one of the rare times where the co-rulers took heed of good advice. Nonetheless, the co-rulers quickly found themselves defeated at the Siege of Southbridge in 1854. Their armies had had the chance to intercept the approaching coalition forces in the preceding months. Still, in his strategic mastery demonstrated throughout his reign by successive losses, Philip ordered all brigades to avoid contact with the enemy and hide behind the ramshackle walls of Southbridge. For four years the land of Lower Petra, just over the Petra River from Providence, was held and defiled by the coalition forces. Orenians were rooted from their homes, and many noble manors were burned. The estates of the Galbraiths, Arkents, and Darkwoods being amongst them. Of particular insult, the Urguanites installed the Goats of Sedan, a break-away Orenian rebel organization subject to the dwarven crown from the times of Joseph II, on the road to Providence in a newly constructed fortress named Haverlock. It was only in 1858 when the imperial forces were able to reconquer the land and a further two years to oust the Sedanites from their newly constructed keep. During the Siege of Haverlock, there was a rumor that Philip had determined to double his efforts in reforming the country. The bloated Archchancellor, Joseph d’Azor, was meant to retire and a successor named shortly after the inevitable victory. This never came to pass, but it still impacted the battle. The Duke of Azor took the rumors of his eventual replacement with horrible whines and proclaimed to the entire council that he would scale the walls and die fighting. The reality was a far less glorious scene. The bloated and belching Duke was lifted with cranes onto the walls, as good Orenians died protecting those assembling and operating the crane. His waddling around the city, carelessly stepping on the bodies of wounded men who screeched from the immense weight they bore, is still etched in this author’s head. The victorious Orenian forces were led out of the city by the bumbling Azor, carried on a litter, and dining on exotic meats. Manfred von Arichsdorf, Margrave of Arichsdorf Yet, at that time, there was perhaps nobody in the Empire more responsible for the victories at Lower Petra and Havelock than Manfred von Arichsdorf, who sadly, was in all other ways a completely repellant character. The other leading figures were mockeries of glory. Their Imperial Majesties were well away from the fighting in both battles. Azor was hoisted over the walls in a palanquin, too rotund from years of beer-bellied living to ascend the siege tower unaided. In contrast, the Baron of Arichsdorf, a mustachioed maniac originally from the Nordling lands, was perpetually in the thick of the melee, covered in blood from head-to-toe and surrounded by his coreligionists from Westergrenz. The Nordling’s biggest problem was that his berserker rage was never confined to the battlefield. The Bloody Baron of Arichsdorf’s feud with the Duke of Cathalon was one such example of his proclivities. The quarrel had been ignited by an issue so trivial that only the Imperial nobility would even concern themselves with it in the first place, that being the placing of a sign on a public street corner. Manfred’s anger was so great that he nearly smashed the Duke’s head with his hammer over this placard-related disagreement. Yet, he went unpunished. Several months later, the Baron of Arichsdorf once again stirred trouble by beating the Baronet of Westfall, Cesar Komnenos, for sitting on a bench the Baron claimed as his own during a public meeting of the Adriatic Court. Once again, Arichsdorf was not punished but rewarded, as Philip III enfiefed him as the Margrave of Westergrenz shortly thereafter. The reasoning provided by the Emperor was simple: the Nordling baron had settled the western lands of the Empire and increased their productivity tenfold, so retaliation against his actions could not be too harsh. In reality, the Emperor was powerless to stop the von Arichsdorfs. They were above the law, did not pay taxes, and commanded a far more effective army than the Imperial state. To only solidify this facet of Imperial doctrine, Arichsdorf’s bastard son stabbed the Baronet of Westfall a few years later during a chaotic court session. Empress Anastasia had been presiding over the affair, although as with everything she touched, she had lost all control and simply observed, totally insensate. The Emperor’s ‘just’ and ‘decisive’ response: ten lashes that were never delivered in fear of inciting rebellion from the von Arichsdorfs. It was known to all by this time that the Emperor’s ability to rule had been severely diminished. His reign was propped up by little more than Arichsdorf, Blackvale, and unsavory characters from the shadows. -| CHAPTER IX |- || THE BEGINNING OF THE END || During this time, the Empire was not quiet. Empress Anastasia caused a scandal to erupt in 1864 over the hand of her firstborn son, Peter Augustus, the Prince of Providence. Due to the Empress’s and Frederick Charles’ meddling, the betrothed of the Prince was publicly disavowed by the imperial family. To clarify, the plan had been hatched by Frederick and Anastasia because of their inherent dislike of Ioanna Elisheva of Susa. She was, admittedly, obnoxious, uncouth, and disliked by almost all imperial society. Her aloofness and arrogance in her inexperience were her downfalls. In a public court session hosted by the floundering Empress herself, Archchancellor Joseph d’Azor presented his daughter, Lucia Annunziata d’Azor, as a replacement for the Susa woman. He then announced his retirement and threw socialite and government circles into chaotic disarray. Despite appearing random, this was orchestrated by the imperial couple, their Archchancellor, high levels of government, and nobles such as Princes Frederick Charles. Ioanna was enraged and left the city shortly after, effectively disqualifying her from the Prince’s hand in the eyes of the imperial family. Nonetheless, it is often noted that Frederick claimed to be unaware of his family’s dastardly moves. However, this author can testify that he was made aware and used the situation to his advantage. Following the courtroom debacle, Prince Frederick found an ally for the eventual overthrow of his brother in Ioanna. He abused her connections and anger with her courtly disgrace to fuel his kingly ambitions. The 30th Archchancellor of the Holy Orenian Empire, Henry Penton Besides the societal impacts this messy divorce from Ioanna caused, the governmental consequences were real. Although often on the inside of state decisions, the Archchancellor's task now fell to this author, the elderly Henry Penton. Like most positions I was placed into, I was forced to assume the role. As was the case with the Vice Chancellor selection under the Second Azor Ministry, the powers that be offered the position to me and threatened to give it to someone horribly incapable if I declined. In good conscience, I could not allow the state to be corrupted by these people, so I begrudgingly took up the mantle and began my reforms, most of which were stifled by the ongoing war, peace negotiations, and my monarchs. I could not curb the rampant abuses of nobles such as the Arichsdorfs. Although I did my best to foster mutual trust between the various parties of imperial society and government, it was already in such a deteriorated state that little could be done. Without the interest of the monarchs in such affairs, which we never had, it was a futile struggle I persisted in right until the end in 1868. Admittedly, I was a poor Archchancellor. However, I hold that the position was most likely untenable for any honorable Orenian at the time. Especially with the monarchs in power and Prince Frederick's inherent want for the throne upon his parent's death, circumstances played most of the cards during my tenure. I was simply the handyman sent to sweep the streets after the disasters. Philip’s Folly, By Renaldo Mundo, Circa 1867 A Foreign Mercenary of the Tripartite Accord Looms Over A Defeated Orenian Knight Meanwhile, Philip wrongly believed in 1866 that his forces were strong enough to launch a counteroffensive into Urguanite lands, specifically through the neutral port of Eastfleet. Although his brother, John Casimir, and others on the council had urged for peace due to the decades of continuous wars draining resources and morale, the Emperor pressed on. And it was at the Battle of Eastfleet, also known to history as Philip’s Folly, that his numerically disadvantaged host was decisively crushed. This forced him into a more vulnerable position during the peace negotiations in 1867, and they would last up until days before the end of his reign. Following the battle, Philip and his Empress experienced the Marriage Crisis of 1866. In the early mornings of Sun’s Smile, the Council of State was alerted that Prince Frederick Charles was planning on marrying Princess Vivienne of Savoy. Notably, Savoy was a country that was actively at war with the Holy Orenian Empire. The entire imperial government rejected the marriage and informed the monarchs that they must cancel the wedding or issue an edict compelling the union to be morganatic, to avoid Frederick or his children any claim to the throne that would inevitably be supported by Savoy. In essence, to prevent a hostile usurpation by a Savoyard-backed Frederick. Little did we know that Philip was conspiring with his son on this matter. Instead of issuing the edict and barring his son from succession, which could have prevented inevitable bloodshed over a claim, he did the opposite. In private, the impotent imperator told Frederick to stop the marriage and wait until a later date. He did not even insist on breaking off the betrothal with a hostile foreign principality. This could only be seen as intentionally harming the state and allowing the future war we all knew would develop. With this mistake alone, Emperor Philip set the Empire on a collision course with ruin. If it were not for his multitude of failures before this, it could be overlooked. Alas, it was but one of many in the long list of Philip Parricida’s faults, the faults that would bring down an Empire. -| CHAPTER X |- || THE LITTLE KNOWN TRUTH || The Poisoned Philip, By John Gisheem, Circa 1870 The Look of a Man Who Betrayed The Empire, Then Betrayed By His Son, Frederick. Towards the end of their reign, in 1868, God's wrath abruptly caught up with the two. Philip III and Anastasia were engrossed with dangerous and vile people, against most of the advice of their councilors. Much like their predecessors, though, the two believed that their decisions were not only superior but above any supervision or comment. As many history books should distinguish, Philip III did not die of some benign disease. He was poisoned for his involvement with the very men he had entangled himself with since the beginning of the War of Lower Petra, colloquially known as the War of the Wigs among the half-men. However, the events that unfolded in the final months of Philip III's reign have also been misunderstood. While this author was tucked away in a northern room negotiating with the representatives of King Sigismund III of Haense, Philip and his apathetic Empress were plotting with these devious ones whose names are lost to history. Many speculate that their plotting concerned their youngest son, Frederick, ascending to the throne. They are woefully wrong. In fact, the Emperor had even directly expressed to many people that both of his sons were incompetent, vengeful, and greedy children of Iblees. He explicitly did not intend to name Frederick as his heir, nor did he intend to back Peter. The truth is that the co-rulers were engaged with a plot that would divide the Empire in two only a few months after the treaty with the Tripartite Coalition was signed. The eastern half, including New Providence, would be given to Willem van Aert of Blackvale, while the western remainder would be set free under Manfred von Arichsdorf. Neither of his sons would have an empire to govern over. But before this day could pass, Philip III and his lethargic co-ruler died. It was a spy amongst their midst that had given these plans to Frederick but a few days from their implementation, and upon hearing of his parents' betrayal, it was none but Frederick who sent the vial of poison with his men to end their reign. -| CHAPTER XI |- || A WAR MADE BY IDIOCY || HIH Peter “The Greater” Augustus, Prince of Providence, Duke of Petra Also Referred to as Peter IV First-in-line to the Imperial Throne When I heard the news of the Emperor’s death, I had just concluded peace talks with King Sigismund III and Karl Sigmar, the future Karl III, in Karosgrad. Although I attempted a swift return to the capital, by the time I had gotten safely to Ebonwood in the west, there were too many armed men to approach further. I spent the rest of this brief period of time working out of a mountain monastery I had sponsored for the Scriptorium of Saint Daniel of Abresi. This was before I fled to Haense under the protection of their Lord Palatine. What is seldom known by the onlookers of the time, or the historians who were not intimately affiliated with the information of the state, was that following the death of Philip III at the hands of Frederick’s lackeys, there was a private meeting that took place between Peter Augustus, Prince of Providence, and Frederick Charles, Count of Mardon. Peter offered Frederick terms of good faith during this meeting during his reign, promising not to interfere with the young Count so long as he respected the authority due to the Emperor. HIH Frederick Charles, Count of Mardon Third-in-line to the Imperial Throne “A usurper and man of low morals” Although his exact words are lost to time, Frederick informed his brother that the throne was his by the will of their parents. Although neither had left one, this mattered little in times of political disarray. In fact, what is often forgotten by both sides is that Philip III wanted neither of his sons to inherit. Instead, he had explicitly plotted alongside many in the imperial government and nobility to split the empire between Manfred von Arichsdorf and Wilem van Aert. However, Manfred had likewise been killed by Frederick’s manservants for conspiring and Wilem now suddenly flipped to support Frederick in fear for his own life and land. The plot that ultimately led to the death of the Emperor was defeated soundly by Frederick. However, rightfully, Frederick pointed out that his support had been festering in Mardon for years under their father’s reign. On the other hand, Peter had only the support of those who were traditional supporters of the crown and, more often than not, reliant on the lax nature of the state. The meeting did not ease the tensions, as was to be expected. If anything, it laid the groundwork for the sides that would divide into the Brothers’ War, which broke out in 1868. HIH James Maximillian, Count of Morton Second-in-line to the Imperial Throne; Nowadays: The Rightful Heir. “Known for his physical deformities on account of his parents incestious relations.” At the outbreak of the war, the deformed and little-known James Maximillian, Count of Morton and second-in-line to the throne, departed with great haste for the distant lands of Aeldin. He had no intention of being killed in the ensuing war and had sent letters to me indicating his location if there should ever be a need for a restored imperial claimant with rightful descent. Regardless, the war broke out, and supporters of both sides raised their banners. Most of the traditional houses of Oren had few household guards. Mercenaries were conscripted by both sides, and skirmishes quickly ensued. The roads of the empire ran with Orenian blood. The St. Ari’s Day Massacre, Circa 1869 The Loyal Imperial Forces were Routed and Butchered in the Streets Defending the Rightful Heir, Peter Augustus. However, what some could have seen as an extended war ended relatively quickly. In 1869, Peter Augustus was captured in a St. Ari’s Day celebration. Though many advisors, including myself, had explicitly warned him not to partake in the lively carousing, his enjoyment of revelry won out. Many supporters of the Imperial cause had left to tend to their land and celebrate with their own families, so the once swollen imperial forces were now depleted. Amid the celebration, Rivian and other royalist houses stormed over the walls of Reutov. They sacked the city, and the young Prince of Providence was hauled back to the capital. Prince John Casimir mustered what forces he could, but most were preoccupied and far from the fighting for the holiday. The numerically smaller force was lured into New Providence and slaughtered, the blooded remnants fleeing to boats at Henry’s Wharf and settling sail to found the Grand Duchy of Balain in the south. The uncoronated rightful successor to the Empire, Peter Augustus, was killed by an unimportant Ivanovich traitor, and his detached body was paraded around mockingly on a stake. More often forgotten is the savage and unholy abortion conducted by royalist forces shortly after the battle. Ioanna Elisheva of Susa, on the orders of Frederick, stabbed a pregnant Lucia Annunziata d’Azor in the courtroom of the Aster Hall in front of Canonist clergy. Not only did this occur, but she later published a public letter thanking Frederick for the order and claiming she had no remorse for her sin. Although I presented this to High Pontiff Tylos II, the Church never took action against this wicked debauchery, fearing that Frederick would betray the Church. Simultaneously, Laurentina van Arichsdorf, the widow of Manfred, took up the mantle of Margravine of Westfall following her husband’s death. She, against my advice to her in letters, sided with Frederick. She had done so under the pretext of independence for her people following the conclusion of the war. As I had told her many times, Frederick’s words meant little, and he would betray the promise shortly after fighting ceased. Although she did not heed my advice, my words quickly became a reality, and what semblance of autonomy enjoyed by Arichsdorf and Westfall promptly fell upon the defeat of Peter. Conclusively, the entire Brothers’ War was caused by Philip III’s reluctant and eventual devious behavior to name and support a successor during his life. In fact, the man was so set on denying the emperorship to both sons that he had promised the crown that he intended to split the empire among various factions strong enough to eradicate both of their claims. If a lesson can be extrapolated from this messy affair, it is that succession should be far more solidified by an Emperor. Of important note, those who would pose a risk to the rightful heir, be they the first-born or designated choice, must be eliminated swiftly. Letting these divides fester caused this war and the downfall of the empire. -| CHAPTER XII |- || THE RHYMING OF HISTORY || || LESSONS FOR THE FUTURE EMPIRE || The Holy Orenian Empire was my country. From my birth, I had served it with unyielding enthusiasm and dedication. The things I have seen are unmatched, as I have been involved in imperial government for over six decades. I was, in essence, intimately involved and a part of all this history. Although some may deny the history presented herein, I can assure you the validity of the contents is undoubtedly correct. Their motives to discredit this work are self-motivated in an attempt to improve their, or their ancestors’, image. Furthermore, regardless of the flaws of its rulers, the empire deserves to exist. Oren today is not the Oren that was, nor the Oren that will be. A future empire will rise, and I believe they will use my words, the lessons of this time, to avoid the tragedies that befell our people. But what are the lessons, you may ask? Well, I assert the following: The stories of Philip II and Philip III were not unalike. They had unpopular heirs, extensive lines of succession, failed to listen to the sound advice of the men they appointed, and died before their times. First, both Emperors had notoriously unpopular heirs that were inattentive to the matters of state, offensive to a vast majority of the population, and eyed by various competing siblings or sons. Therefore, future leaders must take the succession into account far more seriously than during the Philippian age. A ruler must not rule so long as to force three or four generations to wait in the wings, and furthermore, unpopular heirs must be disposed of forthwith. Second, advisors of the state must be heeded. Both of the Philips were unwilling to listen to advisors on many matters of state. When they did and incorporated it into decisions, the empire's decline was temporarily stalled. When they did not, disaster struck, and the consequences of ruling by a single man's pen became strikingly clear. Third, both attempted to reform the very incoherent and weak Imperial culture. During my time in government, I wrote no less than seven extensive drafts of reform in this matter. The reborn empire must understand that culture connects a community. While this does not solely entail the government fostering only one culture, although that could function if it is developed enough, it does mean that a failed culture produces a failed state. Fourth, the importance of martial practices must not be forgotten. In the eighth empire, especially following Lord Marshall Peter d'Arkent's death in 1814, the Imperial State Army was ineffective. Although beating the numerically inferior forces of King Sven II in the Tenth Nordling War in 1821, subsequent bouts against numerically superior coalitions were decisively lost. However, this does not mean that vassals are effective either. Vassals, as seen with the rule of Philip III, devolve into entities the monarch cannot control, break the state's control over the nation, and ultimately are used for malcontent lords to rebel. The solution to this martial deficit, as I have taken to calling it, is not one that this author can solve. It is for the future generations to figure out how to make an effective central army, as seen with the early Imperial State Army or the Imperial Legions of yore. Those institutions, when they crumbled, preceded the destruction of an empire. In some ways, the world is still dictated by a might-makes-right mentality. So, a weak army produces a weak empire. A weak empire delivers defeat. And defeats complete the descent of an empire. -| POSTSCRIPT & ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS |- Finally, I must give thanks to the multitude of people who have provided me the accommodations to produce my works of acerbic wit: Mariano Saturnino Ferraz shall be thanked for tending my candles during the many late nights. I must thank my wife, Nancy P. Cavelle, for her dedicated services and lifelong acquaintance. I must give unsurpassed gratitude to Eirik Baruch, the former Duke of Valwyck. I must also thank the current Duchess of Valwyck for their protection and unfettered hospitality. An old man like me could not want more gracious and kind patrons. Finally, but certainly not least, I must thank Dame Yuliya Styne for giving me the pedestal all those years ago. My success and life could have never been where it is today without you. Thank you, and may we meet in the Seven Skies soon.

A deer grazes from a field around Providence. He looks into the camera and says "oh deer!!!"

Henry Penton looked befuddled as he read the paper his aides delivered to him outside his office. “We offered them a simple peace and it was them who denied it at every turn? To think they now come to the public with such profound cries of peace is not only defunct of reason but lacking what little intelligence I attributed to them. Such a shame too. They complain about a path they actively chose.” He strode off down the hall and placed the missive in the public privy paper reserve that had grown rather large with recent publications from the laughable King of Haense.

Henry Penton nodded from his desk, stating to an aide as they walked past, "we shall find a way or make one. Blackvale must have its land."

Henry Penton sat at his desk and wondered why the auditor was so fascinated with this matter and not the reinvestigation of the natural death of Philip Aurelian. He commented to an aide as they passed, “next they’ll have leal canonist Azdrazi testifying against faithful Orenians! What lows a church has sunken to fulfill the wishes of the half-men and lizards. The Canonist Church is now nothing but the Church of Yaomir and Yemekar.”

Henry Penton scrambled nervously in his office, aides running every which way as paper flew up into the air. "They did what to the unemployment numbers?!" As he shrieked another paper was dropped off at his desk, the sweaty bald man panicked as he read it over. "They must never know the real numbers."

Peter read over the missive while nodding at its astute observations. Before long he was searching his study for a certain tome, something he had not done in a long time.

Henry Penton sat in his office at night, muttering over a crowded desk of papers. He was alone, in faith and peace. He offered a simple prayer to God on high: "Lord, come what may, I ask for your guidance and wisdom during these trying times. Every great act of Your magnificence can be traced to kneeling men, not those who stand. May You guide me, and help me, O' Lord. Amen." With that the old man, the top of his head shining in the candlelight, closed his books. He stood to leave before an aide rushed in, "another missive, Mister Penton!" The old man snarled, snatching at it. He threw it on his desk, marching off. "What I should have prayed for is one damn night of sleep in this world!"