A few bio Issues.

[Phibbup 286]

Well, I was questioning myself "Does this Bio sound like it could be accepted? " After reading it in the Point of view as a Game master, I wouldn't accept it on the first time around. So, I got to thinking and finally decided "Forget it, I'm redoing this."

So, this is where everyone else comes into place. I wanted to see if you were a Gm or a forum moderator, which bio would you rather prefer over the other? My first bio :

Entering the world being raised by his family until he was two, Drew grew up in a rather harsh life. His mother and father died from the undead, leaving me to my brother when I was only 2. I never got the chance to live as a "normal child" because I was being raised by my older brother, who could never afford to pay for housing. Every opportunity to earn a few Minas always helped My and I brother to nicer things like new clothes.

My brother had died from starvation, which left me to fend for myself. I worked day-in, day-out to earn some minas for food and shelter.

I was trained to stay quiet and never grow attached to others, because I've learned from experience that no matter how much control you have in things, everything falls apart. My insane brother however always insisted "to look to the future; Believe in yourself and even the darkest moments light will shine."

Though the rough life I had, I found out recently of a distance uncle, who lives in Oren, was eager to lend a hand for me. I know have nicer robes and a job working as a waiter at the local Pub. I am as well learning to craft, as my uncle is a skilled craftsman. With the conditions I am living with now, I'd say things can only keep getting better.

Now, this is the one I spent about about 5 hours thinking and preparing : Drew Graylorne Wished to become a well known archer in Oren, yet despite his dream it was shunned and deferred to be forgotten by the monster that was his step-mother.

Ever since his his mother died from a fever when he was 5, his father was looking for someone to help raise him. When his father met the witch that only wanted him for the money, he was struck with fear by the rage within the evil smile. Since then, the witch of a step-mom has taken over Drew's family, enforcing that No one was to talk without permission, and to never leave or back talk her. If she was to find out if someone went behind her back, she would beat them until their shirt was covered in blood and they had the inability to move.

Being as the coward Drew's father was, he wouldn't stand up for his children or himself, and sat there watching. Watching the woman scream and demand power and minas. Finally, having enough of his father hiding in shame to speak, he decided to sneak out at night when everyone else had fallen asleep, and to find his way in life in the streets of Oren, looking for a brighter future.

Well, I hope I did a good job on the Bio, and I'd greatly appreciate

some answers. Thanks for reading. :)

[Everman111 16]

Here this is what I am using as a guide to write mine.

http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/13144-petyrs-guide-to-accepted-server-applications/page__gopid__79966#entry79966

[Phibbup 286]

Thanks! The bio part really help me know how to shape the Bio.