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About monkeypoacher

  • Rank
    Diamond Miner
  • Birthday 01/01/2018

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  • Location
    Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan
  • Interests

Character Profile

  • Character Name
    Fatty Peach Dog
  • Character Race

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  1. >be me

    >wake up on feburary 4 2024

    >look at forums

    >see monkeypoacher requesting account deletion


    >express thoughts of love


    >be me

    >wake up on feburary 12 2024

    >look at forums after long day of writing

    >see monkeypoacher continue to post


    1. Hunnic


      Its the law of the lotcer, everytime a gamer makes a goodbye post, their activity grows tenfold.

    2. monkeypoacher


      i got the shakes sorry

  2. TO THE ALSTION PRETENDER, KING OF AAUN (HUMILIATED BY ADRIA), DUKE OF VIENNE (CONQUERED BY ADRIA), COUNT OF WHITESPIRE (RAIDED WITH IMPUNITY BY ADRIANS), ET CETERA, ET CETERA, REPRESENTATIVE OF THE RABBLE OF ORENIAN RUMP STATES: Heed that we, the Adrian people, know the true purpose of your overtures, and know your true nature. You are a lamprey, fetid spawn of the lowest brackish pond, whose sucking mouthparts cling with vain hope and desperate ardor to the Hanseatic ox. Your substance is Canonist blood. Your edicts have no power, and your pathetic gyrations do not warrant the notice of my proud nephew. I treat with you now: Heed that our people have not seen the passage of one generation since your Court plotted to murder my brother, the Duke's father, and install a Montelliano traitor in violation of our laws and traditions. In defense of this pathetic and fruitless plot, your armies arrived in our city and were slaughtered. Your armies fought us on the fields outside Minitz, and were slaughtered. Your armies fought to defend the walls of their forlorn, rat-infested capital, and there, too, they were slaughtered. Be it that the turning of fortune's wheel sees you in Whitespire and us in a camp - if your last hope is to beg us for aid, your days will not be long. This rebellion may fail, but so will you. Your fickle, grasping assortment of self-styled knights and minor lordlings will desert you. Your covenanters will turn against you in jealous anger to seize the barren crofts and despoiled villages of the Midlands for themselves. And you, worm, will return to where you belong. If you would like to avert this fate, you have one course of action. Cede the lands to the west and north of Whitespire and accept our claim as the House of Sarkozic to the Kingdom of Oren. We will treat you as vassals more kindly than your predecessors treated us, and you will be at liberty to rule your irrelevant state as you see fit. Pay us homage, and we will forgive the many crimes you have committed against our people. Until then, writhe. Pavel Sarkozic
  3. "For the afflicted, the poor, the Law. For the prince and the prelate, our prayers." Pavel raid his quartz spectacles back over his eyes, shielding them from another reading of the obsequious missive.
  4. i was previously told to email [email protected] for this with my info but i see people posting here i am begging Admins on hands and knees: please save me from myself: it has been forever since i've actually logged on but i compulsively check the forums. this server brings me no joy please delete my account/content and ban my ign monkeypoacher and invasivecarp i would like to live a productive and charmed life free of fantasy roleplay
  5. Centralization would rob human roleplay of what makes it interesting; the squabbles between the different decentralized settlements/nations is most of the substance. A player dynmap is a good idea though! It seems simple enough to add in with a command that lets you hide yourself from the map, or maybe a slightly more difficult implementation has anonymized player icons or a heatmap.
  6. Having weathered the Third Covenant Poetry Offensive, Hadadrimmon Harrenid applies a salve for his paper cuts and sets to work with a broom to sweep up the remains of his plumes and a wet rag to daub up spilled ink. He avoids looking behind him, lamenting that he had smashed his writing desk in anger after reading Marius Lovetts's newest composition.
  7. It's a cool trope. The way it plays out in roleplay is exceptionally dumb, because everyone meta-knows that it is effective, and people are willing to suspend their disbelief about their character's own tolerance for getting their hand sliced open to get where they're going. It becomes less "painful reflection on how paranoid this fantasy world is" and more "they're making me walk through the metal detector AGAIN" The aurum "lines" outside gates made of pressure plates or gold blocks are repulsive. I can jump. I will roleplay stepping over it. A goblin will come and pry the gold leaf off the bricks. Come on, guys.
  8. These guys have been solo carrying the nations they vassalized under since Savoybileti. They made those horrible savannah islands on Almaris work, I don't think their choice of location is really going to slow them down. And since their release from their oaths of vassalage has already played out in character I don't think the number of existing realms is really relevant.
  9. Indirectly responding to a criticism in the OP of lore written "out of boredom" and not to satisfy some arbitrary measure of quality. I really hate it when people take a shit on other players' creativity, and I also hate it when catty personal drama is couched in euphemisms about "data" "activity" "metrics" and so on. I might just be a bitter ******* though.
  10. This is such a nice format. I don't really run events but I think it would be useful for just roleplaying your character too.
  11. The motivation behind everything here is boredom. You are not roleplaying in Minecraft because you have an obligation to, or because it is instrumentally productive, even if you tricked yourself into believing that. You are writing lore because it is satisfying and you are bored. Glad to see monkey men are back though
  12. Rousing from a waking dream to news of the "Duma," Pavel turned his chin up from his houppelande. His eyes light up in a way they had not in years before or since, and a fretful smile crossed his chapped lips. "Who has the lottery?" He croaked. "Oh- there's no time. Let me taste.. the Duma wine."
  13. Cursed and imprisoned in a piscine body, a sorcerer lets out a plaintive gurgle at the notice of the elder Obediah's death. The image of their quarrel clear in the murky pool of his memory: Whatever the reason for their duel, Solomon dealt him a blow honorably, and spared his life when mercy was the less expedient choice. The moment their swords crossed proved beyond doubt that the notion of honor existed in others, even if it had left him. As he diverted, reeling from the defeat, Baozhen could no longer pretend that the pursuing misfortunes and cruelties harrying him on his path were devised by anyone but himself.
  14. As somebody with neither Narthok or Yoppl's charisma, I also think the "activity" problem isn't that bad - I barely have any time for the server at all, and running around Haense or Veletz or wherever roleplaying a low effort character I still manage to find RP. Try to tell a short story and players who are sprint hopping around not doing anything anyway tend to get sucked into it. Let 2024 be the year you try to get creative and try to write your own plotline instead of passively looking for events or RP hubs.
  15. The point at which this argument fails (and also the "just make vassals" argument fails, I'll get to that) is that as a self-interested Realm Leader why would I bother to annex some barely active settlement, spending at minimum a month of my time and effort and a fortune of minas to gain... what? Another tile I can just buy? The ill will of the server and all my neighbors? A "vassal" group who hates me? I don't think the unwillingness to go conquer Clownst Isle comes from stringent rules or an overly concordant diplomatic system on LoTC, I think it's because no nation is particularly envious of, or threatened by, their cache of bicycle horns. I think there is similar logic at play with vassals. Vassalizing external groups is fraught because your existing vassals will feel threatened if you move some group of randos up to their status, and it is difficult to sell those same randos on less land and lower status than they would get as independents. You also just don't get much vassalizing groups that aren't already a good fit for your nation. It's not even like it's easier to be independent. If I had a nation leader willing to vassalize me I could have land for my players the very same day, to make an independent nation I need 15 signatures and 5000 minas and I have to wait for staff to approve me and I have to listen to players complain about and question the existence of my player group. But the incentives do not align for a nation leader to take my playerbase, most of the time. I think to encourage interaction between playerbases (and not just afk taxing collecting land and resources) we should make tiles purchaseable only through some form of activity. A playerbase must agree to settle the new territory, with the same 15 signatures, or the nation leader must conquer the tile from some NPC threat in a sort of warclaim-event, in which other groups can intervene. The requirements should be just as onerous and should beg the same sort of "why do I need this, exactly?" questions we ask of new groups. On the other hand I think new Realms should be required to place themselves close to existing ones. As you attempt to build a new settlement from the ground up, you will need to trade with existing ones for resources and laborers, and so it should OOCly get more expensive to build further away. You should also be forced to roleplay at least some of the journey to your newly founded settlement. Events should be organized to defend your party and the growing settlement from the untamed wilds. There should be more detailed, RP-centered requirements for new/expanding realms (i.e. if a tile is barren and cold, you should have to trade for food and fuel for the expedition. If a tile is infested with dragons, you should have to fight off dragons).
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