Freezing

[JoanOfArc 4604]

Freezing

Written by Keeper Heron Volaren

In honor of Paragons Vykk and Robin Volaren

 

An artist’s depiction of a holy hearth being tended by several Keepers.

 

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As I ventured further and further into the valley of darkness,

I heeded not the single call to repent.

My Father beckoned me to the light, to submit myself to his bosom,

But instead I ran to the far corners of the world to escape his holy hearth.

Coming to a place that no kin of mine has ever known,

I cowered in the corner where He could not touch me,

Where He could not see me-

Freezing.

 

Must I always loathe my Father?

The virtues he proclaimed, I abhorred since my youth,

The vices he denounced, I swore to all since the womb.

But I cared not, for who knew righteousness but myself?

And then in my rotten form, did I lay,

Wallowing in this disgusting wretched state of my sins,

Forever cursing my Father’s name-

Freezing.

 

So I sought more than what was necessary,

To give in to the lusts of my flesh.

I drank and was merry, consuming food and good drink,

But as I drank, as I ate, it meant nothing, bearing no fruit,

For what can sustain me when I crave only more?

I decided this endeavour was folly,

And yet moved onto the next-

Freezing. 

 

Next I sought out for the vanity of the flesh,

Adorning myself with jewels and wealth,

Believing that such made my soul complete,

But no jewel can shine so brightly,

As to remove the darkness around myself.

This then I too considered folly,

And yet continued onto more-

Freezing.

 

Next I sought battle and glory,

Forever enveloped in a rage against my own person.

To obtain status and glory for myself,

But no battle would ever enough for me to be happy,

Being then consumed by the self,

My anger then took unto depression,

And yet I sought on my sinful path-

Freezing. 

 

Pitiful, I allowed myself into ruin,

Battles I fought turned into cowardice.

The way laid bare for me for the next year was one of melancholy and angst.

But how unworthy are those who do not fight for righteousness and are craven!

As is the  mortal sin of all elfhood, 

I let my life take precedent over my soul,

I feared death and wished cower behind walls-

Freezing.

 

I wished for love,

I wished for peace,

I wished for happiness,

I wished for joy,

I wished for mercy,

And I wished for freedom.

But all you feel outside of my Father’s grace is-

Freezing.

 

Then like a child, knowledgeable of their evil committed to their parents,

I went back to Him and his holy hearth.

And in His temple, he granted me mercy and granted me love.

His Goodness showed me that chains to Him is freedom,

And that liberty through the darkness is slavery.

Through His abundant mercy was the darkness cast out,

A light within my soul finally at last-

Burning.

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