Rumination vs Rejuvenation

[KeiaTypeBeat 3277]

I wish that I were happy, instead I'm feeling sad

Stuck reliving memories I wish we never had 

I'm better off without you, I've said this all before

Just look me in the eyes: I can't do this anymore

 

Reminders of your violence, they leave me paralyzed 

The fire in your words made my wounds get cauterized 

The presence of something sweeter isn't normal in my life 

Far more used to trauma, yeah I'm used to living with the strife

 

I wish that I could sleep

A full eight hours in a night might just be what I need 

I wish that I could dream 

Instead I'm hiding from my nightmares that I can never flee 

 

Should I stay alone? 

Hiding from my demons, boarded up inside my home 

Is she my remedy?

Met a sweet girl, maybe passion's what I need

 

Heart reignited, chest feeling light 

Talks with her always make me feel alright 

I need to slow down, don't know what I would do 

If I got too caught up and started falling for you 

 

The way she makes me feel reminds me of my worth 

She reignites my whimsy, makes me laugh with so much mirth 

Romance blooming in my chest, I think I just might 

Fall in love with you in the dead of the night

 

But the pain still stays

Love ain't strong enough to take it all away

Only with time 

Can my heart heal enough to say I've moved on?

Is it too soon?

To accept the effort and the help that comes from you?

Am I doomed?

To feel the weight of my mistakes and still never push past all the gloom?

 

Healing on my own has gotten pretty old

There's joy to living life and choosing to be bold

And if I'm being honest, I'd like someone to hold 

me throughout the night, protect me from the cold 

 

Cycles of violence are pretty normal in my life 

Her cruel words used to cut me like a knife

You don't see the pain, you see compassion in my eyes 

I love how your kindness melts my heart like it's made of ice

The way you make me feel has made me realize

That love shouldn't feel like a constant sacrifice