Mr.sapling's Whitelist Application

[TheRoyalOnion(Aris) 101]

Out-Of-Character

Minecraft Account Name:My account name is TMdeath

How old are you?:I am 15 years old, 16 this August

Time-Zone/Country of Residence:Country:United States of America Timezone:Pacific standard time

Do you have a good grip on the English language/good grammar?:I'm not bad at grammar although I don't know everything yet.

Small 2-3 Sentence Description of yourself:I play basketball for my school team. I started playing drums about two years ago and have progressed from the trap set and am now taking steel pan classes every Sunday. Minecraft is my favorite game although I enjoy other games such as Skyrim and Mass Effect 3

How much time could you be on the server weekly?: At least two hours a day.

What do you know about Roleplaying? Give a definition of what it means to you:I don't have a ton of experience of role play but I enjoy it because it gives me an option to create a different part of me that i wouldn't be able to show in real life. I also like midevil role play because that is one of my favorite eras.I also enjoy being a lowly farmer most because its unrealistic when everyone is a hero. It takes all kinds

What experience have you had in Roleplaying, if any?: I've played on a couple role play servers such as HeroCraft and the Bashcraft Rune server. Both were horrible no one role played and the worst part was there was no killing rules so people just went around killing anyone they wanted.

In your own Words, define what the act of Meta-Gaming is:I believe meta-gaming is the act of taking information you have learned in the real wold (such as the Forums) and applying that knowledge to the game world. Example: I learn that an Ork clan is planning to attack a town of I live in. I then go warn my town to prepare for the Ork invasion. In reality the Orks would have kept this a secret and I wouldn't have known about it but I used meta-gaming to find out (witch is bad)

In your own Words, define what the act of Power-Gaming is:From what I have read power gaming is when... well let me give you an example to explain it better. I am a thief, I attack a mans house witch he is in. He tries to stop me with a knife. I use my mage powers i learned from some random book I read to Blast his hands off. He then tries to flee but i use my super speed ability to cut him off and slit his throat. So its when you act in a role play situation without giving the other person time or an option to react.

What do you expect this server will be like?: I'm really hoping this server has people who know how to role play well and don't use meta-gaming and power-gaming

What other server(s) have you played on and why did you leave them?:I have played on many survival servers as well as the two (not really) role play servers i mentioned earlyer. I left the survival servers because they lacked the excitement i later found in the role play servers. I left the role play servers because they had extremely "sucky" role play.

Have you read, understood, and agreed to the rules?:Yes I have read the rules and I will follow them to the best of my ability.

Do you promise to abide by said rules, and laws? This includes the Server, Forum, and Teamspeak set Rules:Yes i agree to follow your laws and will do so to the best to my ability

How did you hear about us?:I was searching for a good role play server and I thought i had scraped the "bottom of the barrel" but it turns out I just wasn't looking at the right server web-sight. I went to a different web-sight and found you, I decided to check you guys out because of your name and once I saw your forums I was "hooked"

Have you previously made an Application? If so could you link us to your last Application?:No i have not previously mad an application this is my fort one.

Have you posted this application on our minecraft forum thread yet? If not, just finish it up on here and then copy + paste is over there. (http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/832121-%E2%96%91%E2%96%92%E2%96%93-the-lord-of-the-craft-%E2%96%93%E2%96%92%E2%96%91-enter-the-world-of-asulon-o-f-f-i-c-i-a-l-l-y-t-h-e-n-o-1-r-p-s-e-r-v-e-r/):I have not posted on the minecraft forum but i shall as soon as i finish this.

In-Character:

Character Name:My name is Raak (rake)and i am of the Ravenclaw family

What Race are you?:I am of the eleven race

What Sub-Race are you? (note, you aren’t required to have a sub-race):I believe i have no sub-race although my mother had some wood elf blood in her veins.

Biography (Please make this at least 2 paragraphs long. This must include the history of your character and his life as well as age, appearance and personality, etc.):Here is a summary of my life and about me. I was born to a family of peaceful river and lake fishermen. I learned how to fish at a young age and often went with my big (and only) sister Casandra and my father Flanagan. While my mother Leah stayed home and cleaned our catch. My sister lives in a village not far from mine and my mother and father are retired in a cottage by a lake. We have reunions at least once a year.

I myself am an average sized man with a pale complexion. I have light brown hair after my father and turquoise eyes after my mother. My favorite possession is my hide cap that was a gift from my grandfather. I have a small secret I want no one to know but ill tell you... I have a fear of large fires always have ever since i burnt my hand when cooking salmon as a young lad.

What is your Character's ambitions?:My ambition is to meet a lady friend and maybe one day earn enough coin to retire in peace were I can spend my time tending to a small garden.

What is your character’s favorite tool? (sword, pickaxe, shovel, etc):My favorite tool? well of course its the fishing rod. I've been using it all my life after all.

What is one of your Character's most skilled talents?I am not bad with a bow (might be that wood elf blood I was talking bout earlier.

A screenshot of your skin (must be in proper format):p.s I'm sorry for having to do these as screen shots and having to make them so small

Other Information about your Character:None I explained most in my summary.

Open-Response-Questions

Whilst traveling from the Cloud Temple you see a small halfling, being harassed by two armed warriors. They appear to be trying to steal money from him, how does your character respond?I run back to the temple for help (possibly guards)and lead them back to the spot the mugging occurred.

Your character wanders into Alras, and comes across a small stall, behind which a well dressed man is standing. He’s offering various wares, the merchant turns to you and says in a posh accent " 'ello there, what can I do you for today?" What is your character response?Hello good sir I am in the market for buying some wool. My cat has recently shredded my old bed cloth and I'm taking wool to my sister so as she can make a new one.

Whilst wandering in the wilds, your character comes across a small hut, which looks abandoned. Inside it you see a chest containing a few iron bars, and a golden sword. How would your character respond?:At first I would check around to make sure there are no signs of life, if I saw none I would take the items back to a blacksmith and see if I could get a good price on them

Hungry and lost in the wilderness, you stumble across a small trading camp nestled among the forest, they greet you you in the common tongue, how do you respond?I ask them if I could purchase food and a place to stay then I would ask if they knew of a path to the nearest village.

You hear word that bandits occupy the road outside the town in which you have been staying. The town guard have gathered, and are asking for assistance to help eliminate them. The leader of the party is offering a reward for any who offer their support. How does your character act on this information?:Not being good at fighting but feeling that I should help I offer my bow in assistance.

P.s Sorry for using so many I's :)

[James Undercroft 129]

Denied.

I am going to do a little test here, bare with me.

I will give you two sets of feedback. Both will say exactly the same thing, but one will be a LOT longer than the other. One of curt, straight to the point, the other is filled with words and will describe things in depth, or at least other things relating to the topic. Tell me in a PM which one you prefer.

Review type 1:

-You did not give a definition of roleplay, you just gave two examples.

-Your powergaming definition while most correct seems to heavily rely on "being overpowered" which is not what powergaming is. Please revise this.

-Your biography is by far too short, lacking depth, doesn't include lore and is less than 2 paragraphs.

-How is your character good with the bow? You have not mentioned anything about it previously, you need to justify this.

-The screenshot of your skin is way to small for me to see it properly.

-Write full paragraphs for your ORQ's. You also need to write in full RP.

Review type 2 (My normal style):

I am very sorry, but your application has been moved to the denied section of the forums. There are numerous reasons for this, all of which I have included in my feedback below this message. In the mean time there is an abundant source of information, stories, guides and other helpful tips to get you on your way to being accepted; all you need to do is look around. I would suggest the lord of the craft wiki and application submissions section of the forums to start off your little quest to make the best application. Good luck!

The reasons that I have denied you are:

Your definition of Roleplaying is not what we are after.

Your current definition of Roleplaying displays to me that you do not fully understand what Roleplaying is all about. It is either too short and needs expansion, or it contains information which goes against what Roleplaying is all about. Please go back and so some research as to what Roleplaying is. I needn’t remind you that this is a Roleplaying server, if you do not know how to role-play or do not show evidence that you are keen to learn how to role-play I suggest you find a Minecraft server better suited to your needs.

Your definition of power-gaming is incorrect.

In lord of the craft we use an RP definition of power-gaming, rather than an RPG definition. While these may seem like the same thing, we can loosely judge that an RPG definition would fit in with games such as World of Warcraft or Skyrim, and the RP definition would fit in with games such as D&D or other person to person Roleplaying. Please do not confuse the definition we use to the definition that other Roleplaying groups may use, relating to creating a character which is too powerful, or doing an “overpowered” action; this is not the definition we use. To make sure you have the correct definition you can either have a look at the Lord of the Craft wiki, or by joining our Team Speak channel (send me a message if you need help getting started) and asking an experienced member. I would also like you to include an example of the term as it demonstrates your understanding of the concept.

Your biography has a lot of errors.

You have not included any (or much) lore from the world of Asulon or the lore you did include contradicts that of Asulon. I recommend that you do a lot of research as to what you race is and how they act, as well as towns and places that you could use in your biography. I would also like to note that the entire server escaped from Aegis about 25 in game years ago to move to Asulon, I suggest you do some research on this point. Do note this is not Skyrim or Lord of the Rings, we have our own universe with our own races. For ideas and lore you can look on the Lord of the Craft wiki (link on the main page), the Role-play or History sections of the forums or better yet; talk to the people themselves. Just join in our Team Speak channel and ask around! We welcome new people :)

Your biography is not substantial enough. You need to write more about your character, write more

detail and more depth. If your biography is less than two paragraphs long or is a bit too short it will be automatically denied. You need to write a minimum of two paragraphs (which in themselves must contain at least five full sentences).

You need to complete the entire biography, detailing all your characters history, age, personality and description. We also like to see little role-play quirks such as habits like the constant brushing back of a fringe, or the scratching of an itchy palm.

Every single thing in your application must have a justification. For example:

John’s father taught him swordsman ship and the lay of the land. X BAD

John’s father was a retired swordsman in the Oren military, after the undead attacks and the moving to Asulon he decided it was time that he lay down the sword for more important matters, family. Now days John’s father teaches John the way of the sword, not so that he can join any particular military, but so that he can defend himself for future experiences to come. √GOOD

Part of your best skill question is unrealted to your application.

You have not justified your character's skill with the bow. For every single skill it must be explained in your biography how you learned it. Otherwise we would have Mary su's and Garry Stu's running around with every skill they can think of.

Your skin is by far too small for me to see.

We require full sized pictures of your skin so we can judge what your skin looks like. If you are having trouble uploading the skin for any reason you can embed an image by following this tutorial:

1. Go in-game and press the “F5” button TWICE. (Not once as this will show the back of your character)

2. Take a screen shot by pressing the "PrntScr" button on a windows computer or press F2 on the keyboard, then go to start => Run and type in this: %appdata%/.minecraft/screenshots

3. Find the screenshot and open it in an image manipulation program such as Paint or Gimp.

4. Crop the image so that only the area close to your skin (including the skin) remains.

5. Save the file and go to tinypic.com

6. Upload the file

7. Click ONCE on the text box underneath: "IMG Code for Forums & Message Boards"

8. Right click and copy the entire text

9. Paste in your new application

*Note* If you want a tutorial for Macs, please send me a message on the forums.

Some or all of your answers to the Open Response questions need a lot of improvement.

Instead of describing what your character would do, you need to assume that your character is in the situation and acting as they would in that situation. You need to describe a scene of RP. This means that you cannot write “If this happens, then my character would do that.” As this shows that you are not Roleplaying, you are answering the question from what you think that your character might do. You need to show us that you know who your character is, you know what the situation is and you know how your character is going to react.

This also means that you need to write in full RP. For example:

Josh talks to the shopkeeper, buys a few apples, pays the shop keeper and leaves. X BAD

Josh walks up to the man standing behind the rough oaken market stand. The sounds of a busy market can be heard all around him. An annoying fly buzzes around his head, so he absent-mindedly begins to inefficiently swat it away. “Ah, greetings shopkeeper! I was just browsing your wares.” The shopkeeper nods at Josh and then turns towards another customer to attempt to assist them the way all market shopkeepers must. Suddenly Josh felt a slight tugging sensation on his belt. He was about to brush it off as nothing, perhaps just someone bumping into him until he realised his belt was slightly lighter. He noticed a man beginning to run off in the opposite direction of himself. He glanced down to see that his coin purse was missing. He put two and two together and then shouted at the top of his lungs. “STOP THEIF!”… √ GOOD!

We expect that you write in full RP and that you write a full paragraph or more for each question.

If you have any questions about my feedback, or would like to create some constructive criticism about the way I give feedback (I.E am I being TOO blunt, or am I coming across rude) then please send me a message! I take all questions, none are stupid! :) You are not allowed to apply again for a full 24 hours.

Tell me in a PM which one you would prefer an application team member respond with.

[James Undercroft 129]

Moved to Denied Forum