[Denied]My Application

[JoyfulHater 0]

Out-of-Character

Minecraft Account Name: Famisha

 

How Old Are You?: 13

 

Time Zone: DST (Daylight Savings Time)

 

Have you read, understood, and agreed to the rules?: Yes

 

What previous experience to you have in role-playing?: I used to play Minecraft

 

How did you hear of Lord of the Craft?: I actually looked up fun websites and this looked really cool so... I tried it.

 

Have you read the Elven lore, and shall you ensure you make use of it and follow it in your biography?: Yes

 

In your own word, define the following terms. Do not take any definitions from elsewhere:

 

Role-playing: I would think it as being creative; making up lines for a character.

Meta-playing: Implement knowledge not to be shared. It gives you too much information.

Power-emoting: To show emotion or action only YOU can do with your character.

 

In-Character

Full Name: Famisha Wild Spring

Currant Age: 332

Sub-race: High Elf

Past/History ( include childhood, major events, etc. 2+ paragraphs long.): I was raised by my father while my mother was sick and living with my Uncle. When years passed and word got out on my mother's death, my father was fairly depressed. One night, when I got up to get a glass of water, I heard a male scream in horror. Afraid, I dashed to my father's bedroom, only to see his lifeless body lay there, on the floor, with a bloody knife in his hand. He had caused suicide. 

The next day, I was sent to the Elven Orphanage, an orphanage for all young girls. There, I met my best friend Emily. She was older than me and failed to learned to walk. She now rolls around in a little chair, way too small for her. I also met Miss Prickk,  a long nosed, wicked elf that took advantage of anyone weaker. So, of course, she was my teacher there.

"Famisha," she said in her icy voice one day, " come and tell your project." I walked up slowly and once at the front of the class, turned to face them. I tucked my hair behind my pointy ear and took a breath. "Any day now!" said Miss Prickk, smiling wildly. "I, um..." I started," couldn't do it." " Why not, pray tell?" she asked. I gulped and looked down at my black, black shoes. I finally gathered up my strength. "Because I was trying to teach Emily to walk." I heard whispers throughout the room. "I told stories," I added," to make her brave. Like the one about the Elven princess who traveled throughout the land to battle Orcs! And the other one on the robbing Human, coming to steal from a damsel with no left arm, but little did he know she could use a sword quite well." I heard more whispers. Finally, all eyes looked behind me. I turned, only to find what Miss Prickk had written in the board: FAMISHA WILD SPRING SHALL BE ATTENDING DETENTION. ANY OTHERS WHO WISH TO JOIN HER WILL BE PUNISHED THE SAME. I stared at the board and then looked at the scars on my arm from last detention. From then on, I never really spoke up in class again.

Later, in my last year, I figured out my father did not commit suicide. She remember the window lay open on that freezing night when my father hated to let the night air in. I was furious! Another soul killed my father and now is living the life of a murderer! That night, I ran away, one disgusted by the orphanage's staff and school itself and second was to slay the murderer who dared to lay fingers on my father! Though, before I left, I left a note on Emily's bed with a token to show how much our friendship means.

 

Ambitions for the future: To avenge my father death 

Personality: Strong hearted, willing; brave, loving/caring

Skills: Farm work, building, battle strategizing

Appearance: Has white hair, white clothes, pale skin, black eyes, has brown beads on head, carries silver sword.

 

Open-Response-Questions

question in this section must be answered with a minimum of one paragraph which must describe the event in full. Please be as descriptive as possible and do not break character or lore at any point.

 

As you walk through the deep forests you hear the sound of whispering and snickering. Upon inspection you realize that a group of older elves are mocking a small elven child. How do you react?

I would walk up to them and say "Hey!" I would bring out my sword and say, "What's going on?" I would walk towards the elders until I was in front of the little ones. "Why this young one? Don't you have something else to do?" I would add. " We were scaring away the little BRATS from our garden!"  they might say. " What if he doesn't want to-" I might say. But from experience, I would look closer at the child, which I skipped. So, I might look behind me and sure enough, they would be covered it dirt with an arm-full of fruit. Then I would scold the young ones, tell my apologies to the elders and continue my quest.

 

Whilst wandering through the Elven forests you come across a frail old man with a walking stick. He collapses in front of you, falling to the ground with a sharp thud. Out of his pocket falls a small pouch of gold coins, which hits the ground and splits open spreading coins across the pathway. The man lies there, defenseless - what do you do?

I would yell,"Poor man!" and help him up. "T-T- Thank you." He might say, " Gotta watch out for those rocks. I would chuckle and pick up the coins, but putting some in my sleeve just in case. " What ever could I do to repay you?" he might finally say. I would hesitate., "Those coins would do." He might stop and look at the pouch. Then, he might hand it to me and be on his way.

 

 

Whilst traversing the Elven Woodlands, you come across a small clearing in which a colored carriage sits. A trader stands outside of it and calls you over, telling you of his wares. He points out that his carriage sells just about everything, and that he's willing for you to haggle for a price. What does your character do? (Please include:- item, haggling for prices and the discussion involved).

"Hello!" the man might say, "would you like anything?" I would stop and sort out my thoughts; I should steal it. But that would be wrong... but I need it. He has everything and I have nothing! I need to steal it. So, looking up, I said "Will you show me what small and light things you have?" "Of course!" He said and went busy with his job. A second later, he returned with and armful of items that all looked like it cost so much. "May you fit this in my travel pouch to see if they fit?" I said next. "Why, sure!" he answered. When all of it was in, I checked the weight: suitable. I smiled, "Thank you!" and dashed like my life depended on it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[IrishPerson 693]

~Under Review~

 

 

Sadly I have had to deny your application, here are some suggestions on things you could improve on:

• Your definitions are incorrect, thus they need to be corrected.
• Your biography is  too short. Go into detail about your characters past and how he acts and was raised, things like that. So that your character is more fleshed out.
• You also didn't have any lore in your biography again. Thus I think you need to go and read it once again. 
• All three of your ORQs are too short and need to be expanded on greatly with dialogue.

Please wait at least a full twenty four hours as of this post's edit (seen below) before posting your next attempt. If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message. Good luck with your next application.

Edited July 29, 2013 by MrGreene

[IrishPerson 693]

Moved to Denied Forum