99 Problems: Forest Dwarf Remix

[cmack1028 549]

The Forest Dwarves are nearly extinct, so in an attempt to recruit I've created a lyrical remix of Jay-Z's "99 Problems."

 

Make sure to:

• Rap aloud (in a Jay-Zish tone) to the provided instrumental of the song
• Appreciate the lyrical genius that I am
• Plan for a new Forest Dwarf character immediately

Enjoy!

 

Instrumental -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cb2JvEU0U7U

 

Lyrics -

 

If you're having character problems, I feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but being a Forest Dwarf ain't one

 

Got the forest patrol on hard lock

Foes wanna make the trees fall and get chopped

  But they often find themselves strung up in the trees

Birds flying around, pecking their knees

Sitting by the fire, doing our thing

Telling our stories to the whole gang

Drinking, joking, doing what we do

Kicking it at home, right under the blue

Loving life, yeah we’re about it

Wars and fighting, no we ain’t about it

Spilling blood? Nah, you shouldn’t be about it

But if you’re about it, you should get out of it!

Join us and ya won’t see much of it

Might not even get another touch of it

We’re only here for a good time and some fun

I got 99 problems but being a Forest Dwarf ain't one

Hit me

 

99 Problems but Forest Dwarves ain't one

If you're having character problems, I feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but being a Forest Dwarf ain't one

Hit me

 

The year is near '200 and we're running around

Looking for a place to settle down

Got kicked out of the mountain for doing our thing

Whatever man, we're out of here... Ain't feeling no sting

Got nowhere to go, so we hit the forests

Before we knew it, we became florists

Thanks to our cousins, we got a new home

Doing better than ever out here, all alone

Out of the stone prison, finally

Together out here, a family… But what are we?

Not Cave or Mountain, so we looked around

“Dwarves of the Forest, how does that sound?”

From that day on, we’d be known

The kings in the trees on their wooden thrones

Funny how we were told that the woods were unlivable

But now look at us, thriving in the “unforgivable”

We’re out here, doing the impossible

“Wait, Dwarves without a mountain?” Yeah, we’re unstoppable

And as time passed, the change began

Turning our skin from pale to tan

Hair grew long and the beards fell short

Looking damn good on our side of the court

Proved the world wrong, yeah we won

I got 99 problems but being a Forest Dwarf ain't one

Hit me

 

99 Problems but Forest Dwarves ain't one

If you're having character problems, I feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but being a Forest Dwarf ain't one

Hit me

 

That was back then, but where are we now?

Nobody knows, we’ve become a myth in the crowd

I got 99 problems, population is one

Getting rarer by the minute, extinction ain’t fun

Don’t want to face the terrible fate

Slowly dying out? Now that’s something to hate

So join me, help me avoid this awful end

Join the greatest subrace that there’s ever been!

Seriously, what’s there to think about?

We’re the sexiest kind of Dwarves, without a doubt

Best woodsmen, best bards? Ain’t no question

We’ve always been the best at every profession

Now stop sitting there, and make your choice

Become one of us, feel the rejoice

Step out of the crowd, make it known

You’re joining us, you won’t be alone

Making a presence in this world once again

Forming the new uprising that’s about to begin

Now take a deep breath, get ready for the fun

I got 99 problems but being a Forest Dwarf ain't one

Hit me

 

99 Problems but Forest Dwarves ain't one

If you're having character problems, I feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but being a Forest Dwarf ain't one

Hit me

 

Thinking about joining us?

 

Click HERE to read our lore!

Click HERE to learn about the Treebeard Clan!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[ggggg3g2g245gggg2jjjgh 274]

wtf is this nerd?

[Fimlin 1997]

What's a forest dwarf?

[cmack1028 549]

What's a forest dwarf?

 

:(

[Mouse 324]

Moved to the Great Library. It shall be sorted into appropriate category shortly.