ADHD, a Fundamental Part of Me

[KeiaTypeBeat 3277]

Inside my hyperactive mind 

Voices scream so loud inside 

Wish a bit of calmness would linger,

Memories takes the form of dark figures

 

They're lurking just out of sight 

Stalking me throughout the night

The air around me gets colder,

I hoped time would have made me grow bolder 

 

You've been gone since March

You took your life, silenced your heart

Grew fond of you, you did your part 

Of helping me find myself, yeah you freed my heart

 

Friends, they come and go

Or stab you in the back, become your foe

It's never smart to trust so easily,

Love can make a slave, just as it can free

 

I wish I got to know you,

True friends, I've had so few 

I never know what to do 

I say the wrong things, I can't keep 'em

Friends are so hard to find, and I can't keep mine

 

Wish things were more permanent 

Stuck in cycles I can't fix 

When will anyone ever care? 

Why can't people just play fair?

 

I care so ******* much, why can't I stop?

This hyperactive tongue, why won't it stop?

 

Loving blindly,

Acting kindly,

Need no reciprocation 

It's just how I like to act, how I like to be

Sharing love inside my heart, yeah it sets me free

 

But it makes the pain hurt so much more

Attention Deficit striking fast when I get bored

Putting up with me becomes a chore 

 

Don't get me wrong, I really get it

I judge myself the most when I have my fits

 

Accepting who I am,

That has always been the plan 

But these dark thoughts make it hard,

Maybe sanity isn't in the cards 

 

Calm and collected,

Then feeling loud and neglected 

The only person abusing me is me 

Just need to calm myself down, yeah I need to breathe 

 

He loved me for who I am

They all do, my real friends 

Don't know why I have to get so dramatic 

Swear to God I can think myself into a panic

 

ADHD, a fundamental part of me

He used to like it,

When I'd ramble on and on 

About any topic

 

Who am I to judge

Every little trait I disagree with?

For me to love me, that was his wish 

 

She didn't know me, 

She didn't love me,

Shouldn't feed the place in my chest where she exists, 

I've been through way too much, don't have time for this 

 

If you don't know me, 

You can't love me 

Easier to hate what you do not know,

You hide behind your hate, and damn it shows 

 

[Agy 756]

It's genuinely a rather both sweet and rather uneasy that I find this right after going through some IRL shenanigans in relation to my case of this mindrot of a disorder the very previous day. All I can say, is that I wish the very best future imaginable for you, me and everyone else that with this life-long . . . Companion, ehehe :}