Drowning

[KeiaTypeBeat 3277]

Pain for me is always cyclical 

And for me it always feels so biblical 

Like a flooded shore in severe weather 

I try so hard to remember that it gets better 

 

It flows back and forth like the cold currents 

When the skies get dark I always need reassurance 

But the tidal waves they are so tall and threatening 

When the seas start to swell I find myself start wondering

If on these frigid waters will be my death they'll bring

 

Oh graceful spirit of the water are you listening?

Oh, sweet Wahzhazhe can you hear me scream?

Oh great Wah'kon-tah can you pity me?

I'm feeling so Wax^pah'the can you feel my pain?

 

My emotions ripple 

Like a puddle 

Soft and fragile like the surface of the water 

 

Chemical signals 

In my tissues 

Caught in a feedback loop that I can't stop 

 

It's like a vortex,

I'm in a spiral 

Down to Davey's Locker right where I belong 

 

I'm so dramatic 

And I can't help it 

Ruled by emotions that I just can't stop

 

I'd like to find a little island I could hide in

Tucked away nice and safe cuz the storm's getting kinda violent 

I'd hunker down safe and sound 

I wouldn't drown

No

I'd drown the world out

 

But what if it's not a bout?

What if my heart gives out?

What if I'm full of doubt?

What if my hope gives out?

 

Who will find me then?

Laying there in my bed

Just barely hanging by a thread 

Or even worse what if I were dead? 

 

How long until I'm found? 

What if I finally drown?

What if the sea takes my life

As I wallow in my strife 

Would you finally care then?

Please tell me, kin, I won't ask again 

 

Please, my sister, I beg of you

Open your heart and see my truth 

You've raised me since I was a child 

Where are you now, that the seas grow wild?

 

Will you truly watch me from the shore?

It was I you once adored,

And now my being it does abhore 

Is loving me truly such a chore?

 

You have the lifebuoy in your hands

And still you watch me from the sands

Drowning and struggling to find my own meaning 

The way you talk about me is truly quite demeaning 

 

You don't respect my name 

Or care for my pain 

You don't see in me a sister to gain 

I never knew your love could wane

 

I don't know what to do 

You've hurt me so much 

I try my best but still it's never enough 

 

Try as I might 

My light will start to die 

Like candlelight put out by rain 

I couldn't triumph over pain 

 

That's not how my story will end

God have mercy, I must find land

I'll fight these waves until I reach sand 

This cannot be how my story ends