[Denied]pogle123 5th app!

[pogle123 0]

Out-Of-Character

Minecraft Account Name: pogle123

-How old are you?: 13

-Time-Zone/Country of Residence: NSW,Australia

-Do you have a good grip on the English language/good grammar?: Yes

-Small 2-3 Sentence Description of yourself: Very nice and understanding person which mostly spends time helping people and playing computer!

-[u]How much time could you be on the server weekly?: around 24 hours...

-How long have you played Minecraft?: About 1 year

-What do you know about Roleplaying? What is it?: Honestly, not a lot as I'm relatively new to it. But I've read and watched a significant amount of fantasy fiction which has me interested in it. Everybody has to start somewhere!

-What do you expect this server will be like?: A great community where people actually treat each other with a little respect and consideration!

-What other server(s) have you played on and why did you leave them?: This is the first server I've applied to or joined.

-Have you read, understood, and agreed to the rules?: Yeh, about 3 times

-Name the 4 races on this server: Human, dwarf, elf and Orc.

-How did you hear about us?: my friends are always saying this is the best server

-What is your The Lord Of Craft forum account name?: pogle123

In-Character:

-Character Name: luke

-What is your Race?: elf race

-Biography: There once was a young elf called luke he always wished to be a archer, after school at 15, luke wanted to train to be a elven archer so he did, for 2 years he did with his teacher Aron. After the 2 years of training he decided to sign up for the elven archers as a trainie. He trains lots and lots with the trainie archer teacher 7 days a week. Many times his teammates thought he was very talented with a boy and congratulated him when he shot the target with precise aiming. But there was lots and lots of training ahead of him to a professional archer and be in the elven archers...

-Character Age: 18

-Character Appearance: Young, cool, flexible

-Character Personality: luke is agile and moves very quickly

-Your ambitions: To become a elven archer.

-Can your character read or write?: Yes, many years in teaching.

-Can your character mine?: He is terrible at mining, he cant mine!

-Are you a capable builder?: His structures are highly big but not as big as many other buildings

-Can you wield a sword?: No, but he is good with a bow.

-Enjoy Farming?: Only when he has to.

-Does your character have any special skills?: Jumping, moving around and very good with bow and arrrow

-A screenshot of your skin: http://skincache.com/skin?id=91506878

-Other Information: Luke wishes to a very good elven archer..

[Chevalier 5]

Can you revise your biography for grammar and punctuation please?

[pogle123 0]

kk

[pogle123 0]

why??

i put alot of effort into this..

[♦ Kal ♦ 242]

I can just guess the reason, but I give it a try.

You say your character trained hard, so he can become a knight. That's fine, but then you actually write you are a Oren Knight. You are probably aware, that the Oren Knights are a real existing group in the world of Agis. Players spend many weeks of playing, to get accepted and rise to the rank of a knight. Accepting your Application, like it is now, would put you in an unfair advantage over these players and that's the reason, why you have to change it. You can't write yourself into a position you have to earn in game.

Also, try to give your persona more depth, for example by writing something about his family relations or point out some character flaws. Nobody is perfect.

good luck with your App

- Kal -