[Denied]Firestyle7117's 2Nd Application

[firestyle7117 1]

[Roxforbraynz 251]

 

 

Not a bad application by any means, but there are a couple things that need fixing before I can accept it.

I'd like to see lore in your biography. Though you did mention Ancient Elven, it's only in passing and not really relevant. Things such as locations or events from our history would help greatly. What town did Kelvin's father go to? Whereabouts did they live in relation to another city? Things like that can help a lot. Also, an attack by Orcs is a little cliche. Perhaps Human bandits or something along those lines? It would make more sense. Not a bad history by any means... it just needs a little fixing. You can find a list of Elven city names on this Wiki page.

 

Your biography just needs some rewriting to fit these requirements. I'm sure you'll get it next time!

Please wait at least a full twenty four hours as of this post's edit (seen below) to post your next attempt. This is to give you time to think and to improve upon your application. If you have any questions or if you would like some help with your application, feel free to send me a message. I'd be happy to help!
Good luck with your next application!

Edited March 1, 2013 by Kefi Moonblossom (Rox)

[Roxforbraynz 251]

Moved to Denied Forum