Bread Fight Club 2: Kal'azgoth

[TheNander 241]

Bread Fight Club II: Kal'Azgoth

 

 

          A young dwarf walks down Kal'Azgoth's main promenade towards the throne room and begins to hear faint sounds of yelling, whistling and occasionally splashing. The sound gets louder as he approaches the back wall on the right. "There must be a door around here somewhere.", he thinks to himself. He finds a trap door and looks down into it. He sees a burly dwarf staring him down intimidatingly. Ye 'ere fer t'e event? "Aye..", he says. The burly dwarf unlocks the trap door for you. As you descend the ladder, almost instantly he is brought into a room with a wood beam in the middle over a pit of what you assume based on the scenario, is a cocktail of sweat, blood, and what one would hope is just water. The trapdoor is then locked again as a fellow dwarf greats him "Welcome tuh t'e Bread Foights!", trying to speak over the yelling rabble. "Bread Foights?!" He asks, trying to speak over the yelling Dwarves. "Aye, lad. Bread Foights. Over t'e past few monfs we be gettin plenty o' bread from t'e farms. Ye ever wunder w'ere all t'e stale bread guhs?" The young dwarf shakes his head no. "T'at knuckle 'ead over t'ere be t'e founder ov it." The man gestures toward Nalro Grayhammer fighting in the pit. Through the crowd he notices a dwarf beating his opponent savagely with a loaf of bread before swiftly delivering his finishing blow to the jaw knocking loose several of the mans teeth and causing him to fall into the putrid liquid. Nalro walks towards the young dwarf. "Ye be new 'ere?" Still in shock from the events that just occurred, the young dwarf nods. Nalro grabs the young one's wrist and raises it up, "We 'ave a new 'un!..." The crowd silences. "I be guessin ye dunnae kno t'e rules 'ov t'e fights?" The young dwarf shakes his head back and forth no. "Aye, alroighty t'en." He begins to explain the rules:
 

 

 

Welcome tuh Bread Foight Club

 

T'e ferst rule ov Bread Foight Club be: Ye dun't talk about Bread Foight Club.
 
The second  rule ov Bread Foight Club be: You DO NOT talk about Bread Foight Club!
 
T'ird rule of Fight Club: If some'un yells “stop!”, goes limp, 'r falls off t'e log, t'e foight be over.
 
Forf rule: Onleh tuh lads tuh a foight.
 
Fiff rule: Un fight at a toime, lads.
 
Sixf rule: T'e foights be bread onleh. Nuh shirt, nuh shoes, nuh weapons.
 
Sevenf rule: Foights'll guh on as long as t'ey 'ave tah.
 
'nd t'e eif and foinal rule: If t'is be yer ferst toime at Bread Foight Club, ye h'ave tuh foight.

[lιoɴ 248]

Moved to the Great Library. It shall be sorted into appropriate category shortly.