[Denied]Beetree172's Application

[Beetree172 1]

Minecraft Account Name: Beetree172
How old are you?: I am 14.
Time-Zone: Eastern Standard Time.
Have you read, understood and agreed to the rules?: Yes.
What previous experience have you had in role-playing?: I have played D&D for about 2 years.
How did you hear about the the Lord of the Craft?: My Older Brother.
Link any applications that you have previously made for the server: None.
Have you posted this application on the Minecraft Forum? If not, then please do so (link above): http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/832121-the-lord-of-the-craft-enter-the-world-of-anthos-officially-t-h-e-1-roleplay-server/page__st__3540
Have you read the Elven lore, and shall you ensure you make use of it and follow it in your biography?: Yes.

Definitions
In your own words define the following terms. Do not take any definitions from elsewhere!:

Role-playing: Role Playing is becoming a fictional character and acting like them.
Meta-gaming: Meta-gaming is using outside information to help your character or hurt others.
Power-emoting: Power-emoting is making yourself the only one with a say in RP no one else has a say in what you did/do.

In-Character Information:
Complete the following biography on your character:

Full Name: Ilia Farlick
Current Age: 18 (human years, so she's young even in elf years)
Sub-race (if any): None.
Past / History (include childhood, major-events, etc. 2+ paragraphs long): Ilia lived in Normandor most of her life. She loved being under the Great Tree's leaves and just spen hours saring up at them. While she was still very yong her father took her away and they lived on the road for awhile. Her father was no one special, just that he always wore a white robe. Now eventually they came to the Kingdom of Renatus, a human kingdom. A battle was raging, this battle would cause the humans to loose the region, It was the Battle Of The Boot. Her Father became very worried, and told her to stay hidden in the woods until he came back for her. Hours and Hours later, a boy came to her, he was wearing a white cloak and it had blue insignia's on it. His name was Talathar.
Ilia and Talathar became Half-Siblings, they traveled the roads many years searching for a sutible place to live and make a living. Her Half-Brother, hated elves, except for Ilia of course, so whenever they ran into some, Ilia did the talking. Ilia and Talathar are still looking for a home, and are still trying to simply stay alive.
Ambitions for the Future: Find a home, grow a garden.
Personality: Shy, reserved. (In D&D would be Chaotic Good)
Skills: Skilled Marksman, learning how to fight with swords.
Appearance (this must include an in-game screenshot of your skin): http://minecraft.novaskin.me/skin/6392210/Powerful-Girl-Mage-Fix
Any other details you wish to share about your character: Will always be with her Half-Brother.

Open-Response-Questions
Each question in this section must be answered with a minimum of one paragraph which must describe the event in full. Please be as descriptive as possible and do not break character or lore at any point.
____

1. As you walk through the deep forests you hear the sound of whispering and snickering. Upon inspection you realize that a group of older elves are mocking a small elven child. How do you react?

Answer: I look at the older elves in disgust and slowly approach, my shy nature makes me nervous. They hopefully notice me and i ask what they're doing. Upon their answer i'd go from there. Whether I tell them to leave the child alone, or walk away if based upon their response and body language for I don't want to cause a fight.

2. Whilst wandering through the Elven forests you come across a frail old man with a walking stick. He collapses in front of you, falling to the ground with a sharp thud. Out of his pocket falls a small pouch of gold coins, which hits the ground and splits open spreading coins across the pathway. The man lies there, defenseless - what do you do?

Answer: I am a sucker for weakness. I run over to the man and ask if he's ok, scooping all the gold together and putting it back into his gold pouch. I'd put the pouch back into his pocket and then proceed to carefully help him up. I'd then bring him home, if he asks me too, or if he needs medical attention I'd take him to the nearest town or city. IF and only if the old man died there. I would bring his body and money back the way he came hopefully finding his house and family. Giving them his body and money.

3. Whilst traversing the Elven Woodlands, you come across a small clearing in which a colored carriage sits. A trader stands outside of it and calls you over, telling you of his wares. He points out that his carriage sells just about everything, and that he's willing for you to haggle for a price. What does your character do? (Please include:- item, haggling for prices and the discussion involved).

Answer: I'd look at his items. If i find any arrows, maybe a better sword i'd take the value of the items there made of and offer him a price for the items. If he agree's i'd pay and be on my way. If Not I'd ask him what price seems reasonable to him. If I don't agree with the price, i'd try and bring it down a little by using my charm as being a young girl. If i cannot bring the price down at all however, i'd simply leave or if i really need the items I'd buy them for his amount. It all comes down to can i afford to survive.

[ski_king3 0]

 

Both your meta-gaming and power-emoting definitions are a bit iffy, if you ask me. They hint at the proper definition, but don't necessarily strictly denote it. I would advise reading this wiki article to try and ensure you have a proper grasp upon these two terms, and perhaps also add examples in your next application.

 

Your biography could use a bit of work. For one, it's a bit short, I'd suggest adding a bit to it. Also, the Battle of the Boot occurred in Asulon, the previous map we were on. We are now in Aegis, at 18 years of age, your character would not have been alive in Asulon. I'd like to see you use a bit more lore in your biography. You used some, but parts of it were not exactly relevant, such as the Battle of the Boot. It may be wise to make her a bit older, as being 18 years old is still well within elven childhood, although physically she'd be the same as a human 18 year old.

 

Please expand a bit on your ambitions, personality and skills. Also, add a description to your appearance to go along with the skin. And... does that skin have pants? It may be good to go to our skin sub-forum and request a custom skin, or at least somebody to edit that one slightly so it is more apparent she has pants on, as some may find that skin a bit unacceptable.

 

Now lastly, your ORQ's are a bit short. Try to add some to each of them. Also, rather than say "if he dies, I would do this," for example, determine it yourself whether or not he dies. This would not be applicable on the server, since you cannot make decisions for people, but the point of ORQ's is to judge how your character would act given a specific situation. It is your job to form the situation in a manner that helps paint a picture of how you roleplay and what your character is like.

 

I realize I wrote a lot here, and it may sound like I'm being critical of you. However, I think you have a pretty good character, and a good start to work from. It is my guess that you'll be able to fix your application to be fully accepted in one or two more tries, and become a great part of our community.

 

If you have any questions, feel free to PM me. You may reapply 24 hours after the time on the post below this one.

[ski_king3 0]

Moved to Denied Forum