Raids for a mage

[Jentos 9422]

A... Well... Not that simple Orc raid

On the quiet land of Istria, a, well, actually not that quiet man, a stinky, thin but strong highlander under the name of Jentos Blackwood was walking in the streets of the town. Bored and with nothing to do, he decided to walk around until something happened.

 

He finally returned home. After a while he heard some rubbish talking outside in the fields, he looked out his window to see a woman which was surrounded by a legion of powerful Uruks! Of course, Jentos had better to do than to go get help, no of course not. So he decided to go outside, meet the orcs and made a sound that resonated like a leg-less pig being strangled by a 5.6 feet tall Kha'panthera. Before deciding to insult them "Hey! Ye' saltey' mud dicks!" (Not that I ever heard a pig being strangled by a kha).

 

 The orcs immediately turned away from the woman to meet the proud highlander. The powerful orcs sounded they're war-horns, sending the legion after the man (well... They're  we seven orcs.) With a mind of steel! Jentos bravely fled to the keep, being pursued by the legion of seven Uruks.

 

He arrived at the keep door, opened it with his key, and with the force of lightning, bravely smashed the iron door on the face of one of one of the invaders, which was right behind him! The Orc howled in pain from the unmatched power of the blow, with the force of ten men! It was sure that from the force of his blow that this was to be sang for ages to come! The Blackwood then thought of a truly... Horrid, cruel plan... He hid under a table at the feast room! He thought "Aha! Me' power is unlimited an A' am invincible! Vell.. Tha' orcs probabley have kangaroo horsies..." He thought  "A'd bettar get out in t'woods b'fore they get in 'ere..."

 

The Blackwood raced outside to the walls, he could hear the orcs approaching. Quickly, he jumped off the walls and off in the southern forests of Istria! After a while running in the woods, with the grace and agility of an elf... Or rather what seemed more to be a misshaped boar. Jentos stopped to a halt, the orcs hadn't seen him leave, and were probably butchering the poor guards and inhabitants of the castle. "Wait... A'm tha' steward! A' should do something!" He thought, and so he went right back to the keeps walls, of course, people who know the poor creature would know that his head has acquired quite a few problems over the years.

 

 

 

Once he got back at the front walls of the Istrian hold, he could hear the slashing of blades, it was clear that the orcs we slaying what was left and would soon go after the populace, but Jentos had another idea, no, not hiding this time of course. He went as close to the walls as he could get, and with will of steel, he shouted "Hey! Ye' virgin parrots! Over 'ere!" It was evident that the orcs had heard him, but they probably had other to do than fight a such... Wonderful warrior! So Raveran Jentos continued "Diced cucumber heads!" "Hoigh fried pieces O' kha!" "Snorting swines!" And of course, the famous "filthey' salt dicks!" "Boohoohoo! T'poor sand frogs be' havin' a booboo so they can't foight'em! Boohoohooooo!" And /that/ did the trick, the orcs turned from the battle, gripped they're giant lizards and raced after the highlander. 

 

 

They followed him into the woods, but the mighty branches of the pines proved to be quite damaging for the Uruks' heads, Jentos ran, and ran, with the grace of a drunk turkey, finnaly, he had lost the orcs, and they had now gone away from the town. What a victory for the old Blackwood! So he ran back to the town. As he walked through the houses, 

 

He found a single Orc which seemed to have stayed when his brothers had 'fled' from the powerful Jentos. And this particular Orc had a fresh scar on his face, it was the same one who received the keep door on his head. So Jentos rallied the men of Istria and formed a mighty army of 4 peasants. He shouted! He waved his blade, to give courage to his men for what seemed, the final battle! The decisive battle between a single Orc and a bunch of angry highlanders.

 

The battle started rapidly, the clash of blades were heard and the epic battle had begun. After a glorious fight, the remaining Orc fled to return home under the powerful words of Jentos "Yer' mother would make yeh barf yer' balls out!... Vell... If y'have a mother..." And so he rode... Well unrided since his horse had been brutally murdered by some unknown enemy. Once he was back home, he decided to take an ale, and go outside and walk until something happened

[Arctic_Guard 1068]

((Did this actually happen?

[Jentos 9422]

12 minutes ago, Arctic_Guard said:

((Did this actually happen?

Yeah

[CheekyNolan 5420]

Moved to the Archive. It shall be sorted into the appropriate category shortly.