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ANOTHER MISSIVE FOR PUBLIC SCHOOLS IN HELENA AND BEYOND

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ANOTHER MIſSIVE FOR PUBLIC SCHOOLS IN HELENA AND BEYOND

OR

AN EſSAYE ON THE NECEſSITY OF ſCHOOLING;
FOR WOMEN, POOR-CHILDREN AND ALL OTHER BEAſTS,
AND WHY THE EMPEROR MUST FUND IT

 

BY INKED QUILL OF Dr. JOHN W. ORßELBAR.

MDCCLV


I perceive with no ſmall delight that Ms Octavia Amelie Pruvia of Oſtwick haſ indiſputably proved, that women and poor-folk are in every reſpect naturally equal to noble men, not only in mental abilities, but likewiſe in bodily ſtrength, boldneſs and the like.

 

But all this, however, is only an approximation to the great truth that there is no ſuch thing as ſuperiority of nature; and that any thing, when minutely and accurately examined, will be found to be of indifferable value and intrinſically equal.

 

Animals have long been known to have reaſon and to communicate with one another. If men diligently ſtudied the language of little known ſimple-peoples, ſuch as the Raevir or Illatian, they would find them very intelligible; ſimilarly the languages of animals could be learned if men did bother.

 

There are among common men a wealth of anecdotes of loving and intelligent animals: oxen who could count to one hundred, the number of buckets of water each carried daily to the Emperor’s gardens in the forefront of Novellen; elephants who were clever and affectionate, eſpecially to ladies to receive dinner-treats of delicious peanuts; magpies who were natural musicians, and dogs who were natural actors and dramatiſts. 

 

An orchestra of magpies and an acting troupe of dogs could provide much public entertainment if placed ſtrategically in the ſquare of the city, and their wages, because animals care not for money, could be used to increaſe the imperial coffers.

 

And thus has been proved, as theſe animals and beaſts are equal to men in many capacities, it only now remains to demonſtrate the same great truth of equality of men and women to be shared with men and beaſts. The diſtinction between claſses of intelligent creature muſt be entirely subverted, subordination aboliſhed, and all matter of education be common to all.

 

To allow oxen and other beasts of the field right of education will turn these beaſts into productive members of ſociety, and laſtly, it is everyone's GOD given right to attend school and have baſic knowledge of the world and religion.

 

Funding is important for any government eſtablishment, I propoſe that the government should fund these ſchools in Helena, for it would be cruel and unfair for a beaſt that cares not for the weight of coin to shoulder a financial burden that is not of its realm of sophiſtic interest - natural-philoſopher I am, I have yet to see a horſe pay tax and doubt they would be willing to diſcuſs the proſpect.

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