The Rusty Drain Pipe

[KeiaTypeBeat 3277]

[!] Fliers are found within Helena’s sewers, Underlena, and other places where ne’er-do-wells often lurk

The Rusty Drain Pipe is Open for Business

https://youtu.be/McNhU-mhDC0 

Officially sponsored by the Dancing Duufle Brewery

 

It is with the greatest of pleasures that I, Valius Voltaire, warmly welcome you to the Rusty Drain Pipe for a night of gambling, debauchery, and alcoholic indulgent. We have an ever growing menu of alcohols, teas, and consumables prepared for your convenience while you spend your evening playing one of our exciting gambling games. 

 

Services Provided

 

Beverage Menu

The Rusty Drain Pipe offers a nice selection of alcohols and beverages available for purchase. Please seek out one of our bartenders or waitresses and we will try our best to satisfy your needs. When a bartender or waitress is unavailable, one may access any of our refreshments through our automated vendor. However, be aware that there is a small convenience fee. If you are in need of something that is not on our menu, it is encouraged that you inform Management, and we will see what we can do about making additions.

 

• Literal Sewer Water: straight from the drain - 1 Mina

• Dancing Duufle Wine: aged to perfection - 5 Mina

• Dancing Duufle Vodka: a cool, refreshing bite - 5 Mina

• Dancing Duufle Brandy: double distilled, double the strength - 10 Mina

• Wake Me Up Tea: so your sleep schedule won’t determine when the night ends - 10 Mina

• Sleepy Time Vodka: this is so your lightweight friend has an excuse to pass out - 20 Mina

• Just Straight **** Me Up: you don’t know what’s in this, neither do we. Let’s Party - 50 Mina

 

Dining Menu

The Rusty Drain Pipe’s kitchen occasionally offers  a small selection of food and treats available for purchase. Please seek out one of our bartenders or waitresses and we will try our best to satisfy your needs. If you are in need of something that is not on our menu, it is encouraged that you inform Management, and we will see what we can do about making additions. When making your selection, ask about our “special” offers, and with an additional fee, our pastry chef will prepare something that is sure to promise you a relaxing night.

 

• Chicken - 5 Mina

• Beef - 5 Mina

• Cookies - 10 Mina

• Cake - 10 Mina

 

Gambling Games

The Rusty Drain Pipe features a fun commodity of games for our patrons to enjoy, should they have enough Mina. We implore you to take a seat and lose track of time while you experience the exhilarating rush that gambling can provide.

 

• Amber Suicide - Table minimum per patron: 200 minas, 3 players minimum. Drink a concoction of my own design, and whoever’s left standing wins half of the pot.

• Kai’ireen’s Fortunes - For a 50 mina fee, you can have a mystical experience that will show you how, when, and where your wildest dreams will come true.

• Roulette - To Be Constructed

• More to come, suggestions encouraged.

 

Bounty Board

The Rusty Drain Pipe offers a bounty board for any mercenaries for hire to view. Should you wish to place a bounty on the board, simply speak to management and, for a single fee, the notice will be posted for all to see. For a special price, the Rusty Drain Pipe may even hire its own mercenaries, leased from the Dancing Duufle Brewing Company, for you! Simply add such a request to your bounty inquiry, and management will take it from there. As long as the price is right, no request will be ignored.

 

Current Bounties:

 

House Rules

 

While the Rusty Drain Pipe is a place for fun and relaxation, we do have a list of rules our patrons must abide by for their safety, should they wish to enjoy our services.

 

• All sales are final. No refunds will be given for dissatisfied service.

• Bar fighting is not encouraged, however it is not discouraged. 

• Management is not responsible for settling any disputes, physical or not, between patrons, no matter the circumstance.

• Management is not responsible for any injuries, up to and including death, that result on property.

• Patrons are responsible for keeping track of their belongings. Management is not responsible for confronting patrons who have been proven to have stolen from others.

• Management is not responsible for patrons who enact retribution towards other patrons they may or may not have wronged.

• Stealing, harming, or otherwise acting in a way that results in the loss of property or injury towards Management is strictly forbidden. Violation of this policy could result in banishment or mortal harm.

• Breaking furniture is fine, so long as it’s the cheap stuff.

• Management reserves the right to protect their property in any way they deem fit.

• Gambling involves risk. Management will not, under any circumstance, reimburse a patron for their losses.

• Management and fortune tellers working for the Rusty Drain Pipe are not responsible for any ill willing fortunes one may receive.

• If you believe you may have a gambling problem, please ignore such notions. It is scientifically, spiritually, and magically proven that there is no such thing. 

• Unless licensed by Management, Management holds no responsibility for any tasks involving mercenaries or bounty hunters. 

• Unless licensed by Management, Management holds no responsibility to ensure a mercenary or bounty hunter completes a task properly. Buyer discretion is advised.

• Dancing Duufle Mercenaries (DD Mercenaries) are licensed and paid for by the Dancing Duufle Brewery Company. If a paid for task is not completed, or is completed outside of the buyer’s adhered to agreement with said DD Mercenary, Management may be held responsible for any dissatisfaction the buyer has experienced. For more information on Dancing Duufle Mercenaries and the rights the buyer can claim responsibility for, please request a DDM Form from Management.

• On a case by case basis, one’s soul may be considered a form of currency.

• The Employee Break Room of the Rusty Drain Pipe, and other areas marked being for “Employees Only”, is strictly reserved for employees unless guided on a tour hosted by Management. Patrons found in violation of this policy may face banishment and or harsher punishments.

• If you begin to feel symptoms of anxiety, distress, emotional turmoil, impending doom, nausea, unnerving dreams, or sleeplessness after prolonged exposure to certain patrons or employees of the Rusty Drain Pipe, it is advised you take a small break between visits.

• The Rusty Drain Pipe and its sponsor, the Dancing Duufle Brewery, is a nondiscriminatory establishment and company, respectively. Management is not permitted to deny a patron service based on race, sex, species, magic alignment, religion, moral alignment, poverty status, or age. If you believe you have been a victim of wrongful discrimination (defined by being discriminatory against one of the preceding variables) at the hands of Management, I urge you to contact me immediately and I will make sure you are righted.

• While still allowed on property, Holy Magi and those of positive moral alignment are discouraged from entering the property. Management holds no responsibility for any wrongful discrimination made at the hands of patrons.

• While still allowed on property, Fire Magi are expressly FORBIDDEN to cast their fire magics within or around the premises of the Rusty Drain Pipe. Those found in violation of this policy will face immediate banishment and possible mortal harm. 

• It is expressly FORBIDDEN to start fires larger than such found at the tip of a lit match within or around the premises of the Rusty Drain Pipe. Those found in violation of this policy will face immediate banishment and possible mortal harm. 

• Please ignore any disembodied voices, wails, or shadows you may hear or see within or surrounding the Rusty Drain Pipe. They will not harm you in any manner, and probably belong to lost souls struggling to find their way back to the soul stream. 

• The Rusty Drain Pipe is officially sponsored by the Dancing Duufle Brewery Company. The Dancing Duufle Brewery Company does not claim responsibility for the actions of The Rusty Drain Pipe’s Management. The Dancing Duufle Brewery Company is recognized as a separate entity from the Rusty Drain Pipe and its Management, and there is no correlation between the two entities and its employees unless otherwise stated, such as the case with DD Mercenaries.

• It is the patron’s responsibility to routinely check the house rules for any changes made by Management. 

• Management has the final word on all transactions and disputes. 

• Management’s word is law. 

• Management holds all rights. 

• By entering the Rusty Drain Pipe, you legally, comprehensively, and soundly agree to abide by its policies, procedures, and house rules, written or unwritten, lest face banishment or mortal harm. 

 

Staff

 

Owner

• Valius Voltaire

 

Managers

• Kai’ireen Ventress

• Pink Greyson

• Zaroi Mendoza

 

The Rusty Drain Pipe is Hiring for the Following Positions

 

1 Live Band

Roulette Staff

2 Waiters/Waitresses

1 Chef

 

I truly wish for you to get the most out of your leisure time by paying us a visit. Allow yourself to indulge  your inner chaos and thrive in a place without judgement. No kings to chain you down, no governments to rule over you. Come on down to the Rusty Drain Pipe, and let’s see what you can get away with.

 

[Anore 2015]

As Gustav Ratmane goes about his daily routine of bathing in various spaces around Helena’s waterworks he finds a flyer while reaching for his scrubbin’ brush. “Only one mina for fresssssh sssewer water? Th-h-hatsss a sssteal” he says, while literally bathing in said water for free.