A Message to the Dwed - From Pervinca Driftwood

[Jade_Emen 203]

 "Dear Dwarves, I was just sitting on one o' me burrow's lovely chairs when all o' a sudden I hear about all of this drama! Somethin' abou' Dwarves tryin'a commi' murder on t'a Spicy Shrimp ship, 'n then somethin' 'bou' the Dwarves wan'in' us to stop tryin'a s'op people from murderin' people t'ey don' like!

 

Lemme ge' this straigh' wi' ye Dwarves: I nay dislike yer kind. Some Dwarves 'n t'a past 'ave caused us trouble, but those troubles are long since gone. We are technicalleh kin af'er all! Nays makes sense for us ter be doin' troubles on the other! But 'n spite of tha', I'm still nay amused about this whole situation!

 

Murder is nay allowed 'n Brandybrook, an' never will be allowed 'n Brandybrook! I don' care if tha' person being murdered 'as three legs 'n seventeen eyes! T'ey ain' gonna be murdered, 'cause tha' is nay t'a 'alflin' way! T'is also nay 'n our nature ter allow others tar commi' murder 'n Brandybrook if we can do anehthin' abou' 't! An' as can clearleh be seen wi' tha' fac' tha' t'a murderin' thin' t'a Dwarves tried ter do failed, we CAN do somethin' abou' 't!

 

So please, s'op tryin' ter make us abandon our ways and allow ye to go bumblin' around our village murderin' anybody ye nay like. If yeh realleh do insis' on keepin' murderin' people 'n Brandybrook, then ye will 'ave ter answer ter our Sheriff department who will lock ye up fer ah few moments un'il yeh cool down. I nay want ter 'ave ter wipe off BLOOD from me burrow's door due ter yer schenanagins, so please don' make me!

 

p.s: I ain't cleanin' up any dead bodies either! If I wake up t'morrow 'n see ah dead person there, I will be very angry! Don' make dead bodies 'n Brandybrook! Tha' much ough' ter be clear to ye.

 

-Pervinca Driftwood, local halfling grandmother"

 

[!] An excerpt from the rules of Brandybrook is attached to the note:

 

Rule #1: No killing of any kind is allowed inside Brandybrook