Your Holiness

[BenevolentManacles 2232]

[!] A private letter arrives for His Holiness, James II, from the Prince Philip Augustus, bearing the seal of the House Novellen [!]

@VIROS

 

 

Your Holiness,

 

I write to you from the front.

 

Do you recall when you told me to consider the purpose of the sword I would wield? I was a young boy then, even younger than I am now. You told me that I must determine when that sword is used to purify, and when it is to sacrifice.  The front is not pure, Your Holiness, but it is livening. Battle makes my blood boil. I’ve killed several of the enemy, dragged my blade through them, and felt nothing. I feel as though, in pitched battle, my mind considers them animals to know no remorse for.

 

I grieve for my conscience. These men have lives of their own, and yet I cannot compel myself to show them mercy, or consider them creatures of the Lord when I swing my sword.

 

My comrades bleed and die next to me, the battles are pitched. So how can I claim that now I must purify, when so many are sacrificing?

 

On my return from the front, where the relief forces began to hold the line, even then there was no lounging to be had. I spoke briefly to my brother before the Lieutenant Colonel rallied the reserves to the assistance of High Elven delegates. The scene was grotesque. A dozen elves, torn to pieces by some demonic, towering creature. Lieutenant Stafford and I were mounted, and we charged to assist the dying elven retinue. I thought only that this was some servant of Iblees, and that here surely my sword should purify.

 

As the creature battered the Orenian retinues, severely injuring the Lieutenant Colonel, I was compelled to wield a spear of light. An elf forged for me this strange weapon. It was crafted of some deity’s magic, and with it, I struck the creature. The Lord’s hand was on my spear, Your Holiness, and even then, with some foreign magic an embodiment of my passion for God and His purifying light, I was resolved in my faith. It struck so truly that I was nearly blinded by it, and the flash of light rendered the creature helpless to my Lieutenant’s fatal blow.

 

I have returned to the front, after the ordeal.

 

Your Holiness, you taught me once that you are not all knowing, and that many of my questions to you are questions I must answer myself. This war, and these demons, they are so different. I defend my country from bandits, and my blood boils with rage and vigor. I slay real, true demons, and instead I find myself closer to the Lord. Perhaps this is a holy war, Your Holiness, but these vagabonds are not the demons of Iblees... Or are they, an amalgamation of the Lord’s enemies, pagans and heretics, given flesh form to test us? I will not trouble myself too much. I must have revenge for Peter, but I must seize it with the hands of a Saint, and learn the Lord’s mercy, even in my rage, as my blood boils. 

 

But how, Your Holiness, when we are all such sinners?

 

With all of my grace,

Philip Augustus

 

 

 

 

[VIROS 2915]

Your Imperial Highness,

 

Nothing strains our conscience more than war. Who can say, truly, whether each soldier on the battlefield deserves life or death? In every conflict, one side has the wrong of things; some causes are more just than others. Yet there are many who fight against their will. Others care not for who rules their homeland, but for their own kin who live there. Can we hold a servant accountable for the commands of his master?

 

To consider this is commendable, and it is foremost in the virtuous exercise of war. But only GOD can judge a man’s intentions. We, with our feeble senses and finite minds, must act according to the path set before us; to have faith is to trust that GOD will not mislead you, that He will judge your heart before your body. Though the physical world tempts us, the decision to give in is the heart’s alone.

 

You told me once that you wished to study magic. I cautioned you that such individuals walk the edge of a knife, with sin calling perilously below. I will warn you now that war is even more  perilous. Though we are all tested, the choice between life and death is the most uncertain we can make.

 

Nevertheless, some wickedness is so brazen that to question it is itself a lack of faith. Unlike men, demons have no hidden place of conscience, where we may worry that they regret or repent. To kill a demon is to be assured of righteousness. Having voluntarily accepted the touch of the Void, which is separation from GOD, they have set themselves apart from such moral considerations. They are sinners who have left their prison, and must be struck down or sent back.

 

Unlike the servants of Iblees, however, the men of the Begrudged Alliance remain men. Who can say what moral quandaries they face, what hidden thoughts drive each one to battle? It is likely that many soldiers on both sides of this war will perish, only to meet as friends in the Seven Skies. So we envy those who reside in that timeless place, who are free of misinformation, of filial obligation, of the gulf between GOD and man. Free of flesh and judged by their heart alone, they are eternal and unambiguous. Thus I do not doubt there are men in Sutica who truly believe their king is innocent, who fight to repel an Empire they were taught to reject. We may trust that God will see their desire for justice, rather than the accidents of history which condemned them to battle. 

 

The Canticle of Faith says that we must not judge our own virtue, be it great or small. This is the first commandment GOD gave to man. Once we believe we are assured of our place in the Skies--or even in the Void--we are already lost, for we have lost faith in GOD’s judgement. It is this uncertainty which gives weight to our morality.

 

So take heart when you doubt yourself, for it is an opportunity to trust in GOD. We cannot regret a decision we have yet to make--a sin cannot be forgiven before it is committed. If the Lord calls you away from the battlefront and into the hinterlands, go into His arms joyously, for to fight demons is assuredly virtuous. But if your heart weeps for your brethren who fight in the war, go to them and defend them as well. God does not keep a tally of good and evil: he who never sins is equal in virtue to he who sins and is forgiven.

 

I will leave you with a verse from the Proverbs of Godfrey.

 

“The righteous shall be in everlasting remembrance. He shall not be afraid of evil tidings, his heart is ready to hope in the Lord: His heart is ready, trusting in the Lord. His heart is established, he shall not be afraid until he see his desire upon his enemies.” (Proverbs 3:12-13)

 

Your Humble Servant,

James II

[BenevolentManacles 2232]

Your Holiness,

 

Your words are a comfort beyond what you can know. I have studied closer the Proverbs of Godfrey, and am nearly resolved now that there is no decision I can make which will be sin, for I have insurmountable faith and trust in the Lord. I need not determine whether I am sinful for when and what I choose to fight for, so long as I know there is Godlight in the soles of my shoes, taking me where He would guide. I have the freedom to choose to know the Lord’s word, are to know that I am a sinner, whose path will be righteous only when I am resolved that the Lord is with me, wherever I go.

 

Yet even so, nothing is absolute. Is doubt the nature of we sinners? 

 

The war rages on, and in reserve, we perform police actions within the city. A child, accosted by her supposed father, held hostage. He was an enemy combatant, and so I called my officers to take the reigns of the situation, and we pressed on. 

 

I smashed through the glass of the shop he had used for his escapade, and leaped in aside my friend, Erik Ruthern, a Recruit. We landed behind the vagabond, my crossbow prepared to fire. Though I was unsure. Sergeant Markus and Sergeant Felix insisted that we should talk down the combatant, get him to release the girl, and they tried. For an hour, back and forth, to no avail, they attempted to convince the man to release the girl, till the unthinkable.

 

Captain DeNurem ordered that I fire.

 

Before the Lord, and before a dozen of my fellow soldiers, my bolt struck the girl held hostage, killing her. I had rendered this young life forfeit. You would say that my intention was true, and that to follow the direction of my superior was a display of duty. Yet surely this is a stain on my soul, even so, for what life is more precious than a child’s?

 

I killed her, Your Holiness, and then we killed her father. Sergeant Markus and Sergeant Felix were enraged with me, though I told them only that the Captain ordered it of me; but did I still make the choice? I knew there was great risk, and I followed instantly, without hesitation, and killed her.

 

I took her corpse, buried her, and prayed before her grave for hours, hoping only for forgiveness, but mostly hoping I could take it back. I remembered the Proverb you so aptly quoted.

 

“The righteous shall be in everlasting remembrance.” (Proverbs 3:12-13)

 

Could this be righteous, Your Holiness, to slay a child by mistake, by my Captain’s command? Lord help me, I am torn apart.

 

With all of my grace,

Philip Augustus

[VIROS 2915]

Your Imperial Highness,

 

I am glad to be of comfort, but I confess that your response causes me concern. I must admonish you that all men are capable of sin, and we are at no greater risk of this than when we believe we are beyond it. Men like you and I, in positions of great power, must remember the example of Ex. Godfrey. Though our prophet waged war virtuously and never lost his faith, he still sinned grievously against God through his pride. So we do trust that God will judge us fairly--but a fair judgement may mean damnation, if we have chosen sin. Only God is absolute, and as sinners we are cursed to fall short of him in doubt, in arrogance, and in every kind of iniquity the Holy Scrolls warn us against.

 

Nevertheless, I am assured of your righteousness and devotion. I caution you against becoming enamored of your own faith in God, and thus allowing it to be perverted into pride in yourself. For the faithless, Iblees seeks to draw them into atheistic amorality. For the faithful, his task is harder, but not impossible: He instead seeks to make what is unholy appear holy, as he did with Saul, Malin, and Urguan. While we may trust God’s judgement, our own decisions must always be examined for the trickery of the Void. But you have good moral sense, and I have confidence you will always seek the Lord’s counsel. 

 

Remember that there is always hope, no matter how grievously we fail. God forgave Ex. Godfrey and all the prophets; in the time to come, he will redeem Malin, Urguan, and even Krug.

 

I weep for the girl that perished in your attempt to save her, and I weep that this trial has been thrust upon you. Were that you were a boy again, safe in the walls of Helena, far from the difficult choices you must make. Were that all children had the safety of young princes. But know that the Lord tells us our trials will strengthen us. Though it may be little comfort, the poor girl has entered the Skies and rests safely in the bosom of God. He promises us refuge in all times and all places.

 

Your latter question, whether you are guilty of your commander’s negligence, is as difficult as you say. I will offer what counsel I can, though I beg your forgiveness if it is inadequate.

 

The Canticles command us both to fidelity, which is obedience to our station, and to patience, which is the charitable love of all people. I’m sure it is apparent to you how difficult these commandments are to reconcile. How much fealty do we owe to a wicked superior? How much fealty do we owe to a pious fool?

 

The answer is found in the Gospel. When Ex. Owyn served in the court of Harren, he was witness to blasphemies and atrocities we cannot imagine. Yet he served patiently as the Lord commanded, raising objection when he could, until such a time he outraged the people of that kingdom and they spoke against him. At this time, he rejected Harren entirely and indeed commanded him to release his slaves. Thus according to Scripture, we are told to serve our superiors, but we must resist sinful commands when it is necessary to instruct them in Virtue.

 

Ultimately, we are accountable for our sins, not those of others. The Lord judges our intentions, and if we truly sought to model the virtue of fidelity, rather than carelessly tossing aside our obligations, we can be forgiven. But we are not mere tools in the hands of others: each of us makes the decision to obey or to disobey. In the future I admonish you to examine your obedience more carefully--do you obey because it is easier, or because you believe you must model fidelity?

 

As you have confessed your sin and made penance through her burial and your prayer, I so absolve you. I suggest that you tell Captain DeNurem to seek the same penance. I am proud of the man you have become.

 

I will leave you with a passage from the Canticle of Patience.

“And as I have created for you the struggles of the world, so too do I create the struggles of the spirit. And as I have created the struggles of the world and the spirit, so too do I bring their remedies. For I have given you the pains of the world, and I have given you their cure. And you shall know the trials of this theater of virtue, and know that they shall strengthen you.” (Virtue 5:5-8)

 

Your Eternal Friend,

James II