SANCTA LEX MIHYAAR | THE LAWS OF CHALDEES

[Melpomenne 2032]

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SANCTA LEX MIHYAAR

THE LAWS OF CHALDEES

 

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The regnal banner of the Pharaohate of Mihyaar

 

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THE DECREE OF CHALDEES

 

FROM THE DESK OF THE PHARAOH OF MIHYAAR, PRINCE OF CHALDEES

Recorded on Chaldees stationary, Kadarsi straw paper:

 

ALL CHALDESHI ORDINANCES ARE PRESIDED UPON BY THE PHARAOH AND THE BETH ES-SULTAN, THAT IS, THE SENATE OF THE VILLAGE.

 

THE PHARAOH OF MIHYAAR IS RESERVED THE RIGHT TO ADD, ALTER, OR ESCHEW ANY LAWS, RIGHTS, AND PRIVILEGES, AS WELL AS PUNISHMENTS AND PENALTIES TO THE VIOLATION THEREOF AS SEEN FIT.

 

THE LAWS AND PRIVILEGES OF THE PHARAOHATE OF MIHYAAR ARE ENFORCED IN THE LANDS SURROUNDING AND ADJOINING THE VILLAGE OF CHALDEES.

 

LOCAL LAWS PERTAINING TO ONE’S CULTURAL OR RELIGIOUS AFFILIATION MAY BE PRACTICED AND CONDUCTED IN THE LANDS OF CHALDEES AND MIHYAAR PROVIDED EXPLICIT PERMISSION IS PROVIDED BY THE PHARAOH AND/OR VIZIER.

 

IT BEHOOVES ANY AND ALL CITIZENS AND DAYTRIPPERS TO ENACT THE POLICIES AND APPROPRIATE PUNISHMENTS TO VIOLATORS OF THE BELOW LAWS AND ORDINANCES.

 

CITIZENS AND DAYTRIPPERS MAY MOBILIZE ORGANIZED MILITIA IN THE EFFORT AGAINST VIOLATORS OF THE POLICIES OF CHALDEES AND MIHYAAR.

 

THE BELOW LAWS AND POLICIES ARE INVIOLABLE. PENALTIES CAN AND WILL BE ENACTED IN THE EVENT OF VIOLATION, AT THE HANDS OF BOTH CITIZENS AND CITY OFFICIALS.

 

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THE LAWS OF CHALDEES

 

ORDINANCE ONE: One cannot hop on one leg within the palace. This behavior is penalized with a dunk in the Chaldeshi Pool of Waste.

 

ORDINANCE TWO: Those with red and/or fair hair are to be fined if entering the city. This fee can be avoided if they agree to shave their head.

 

ORDINANCE THREE: All “Rhenyari” must pay a five mina fee for forcing citizens of Mihyaar to endure their presence (see: Gorhen’s Folly). This fee is yearly, whereon it will increase in five mina increments each year,  but can be avoided if said “Rhenyari” attends approved treatment.

 

ORDINANCE FOUR: Qualifiers for the top one-percent of Chaldees-Mihyaari are characterized by possession of more than ten goats.

 

ORDINANCE FIVE: None can have more than three golden sheep. The spare are to be gifted to the Pharaoh of Mihyaar until the adequate number is reached.

 

ORDINANCE SIX: All men over the age of sixteen are entitled to duel another man over presumed slights to honor or misgivings. This duel may be settled through gambles, games, or steel. The terms must be mutually agreed. In the event of a draw, the disputants will engage in a goat auction. Whoever is able to offer the most goats is the triumphant of the dispute. These goats will cede to the possession of the Pharaohate after the custom is conducted.

 

ORDINANCE SEVEN: Violation of any divine laws will be penalized through a public shaming, or a dunking in the Chaldeshi Pool of Waste.

 

ORDINANCE EIGHT: Inability to report a thievery quota (i.e., one individual fooled in some way, shape, or form per year) will be penalized by a public shaming.

 

ORDINANCE NINE: It is a criminal offense to commit manslaughter, or the unintentional slaughtering of another individual. All acts of violence must be intentional.

 

ORDINANCE TEN: It is a criminal offense to organize a coup or mobilize a rebellion against the Pharaoh of Mihyaar without the explicit consent of the Pharaoh of Mihyaar.

 

ORDINANCE ELEVEN: In order to be eligible for citizenship in Mihyaar, you must be a citizen of Mihyaar.

 

ORDINANCE TWELVE: Any joke given without at least one source of laughter is penalized by a dunk in the Pool of Waste.

 

ORDINANCE THIRTEEN: Reaching the age of maturity is characterized by dueling another individual (see, ordinance six) who is also on the cusp of maturity. Failure to fulfill this duel or otherwise lose will disallow said individual to reach the age of eighteen. They will be considered seventeen no matter their true age until said duel is fulfilled.

 

ORDINANCE FOURTEEN: Upon a man’s reaching the age of maturity (i.e., eighteen years old), every year gone unmarried or without a goat will be penalized by a yearly dip in the Chaldeshi Pool of Despair.

 

ORDINANCE FIFTEEN: Dwarven visitors will be required to consent to a beard-check on entry, to ensure no contraband is being smuggled into the village.

 

ORDINANCE SIXTEEN: No object or property on its own, in Chaldees, will be considered contraband or illegal.

 

*The lord Pharaoh reserves the right at any given time to alter or eschew the above ordinances, policies, and privileges without explicit notice. Failure to act in accordance with these changes on  account of pure ignorance is inexcusable and will be penalized as necessary.

 

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In witness hereof, I set my seal,

HER SUPREMACY, the Grand Vizier of Mihyaar,

Ur-Zainab.

 

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[oliviaaahr 6]

A mihyaari youth espies the official publication of her father’s hard work - and admires the ever-growing pile o’ gold that amasses ‘pon his desk! 
“Ai, ai! These men of snow are good for something, after all!” Chortled Ur-Zoya, divvying up the minae into sections sourced from specific laws.