TreeSmoothie 4896 Share Posted August 22, 2022 Please do not metagame the contents of this letter if you're not @Werew0lf😎 During the night, some horrid amalgam swoops down from the sky and lands with a tiny 'THUD', letter held tight in a toothy beak. It was a hefty white crow with curled horns and an impish little lizard's tail, with bones that jutted out in such awkward places that made it seem like it was a child's drawing come to life. It let out a hoarse caw and dropped the parchment on the ground, awaiting its receiver. TO The Dark God Malik, My name is Astaroth! I'm an Inquisitor of the Greed Hand just recently heralded, though I find my rank somewhat unbecoming. You see, I am EVIL! Very evil, as my usage of red might allude to ... And the list I gave of my evil deeds hardly scratch the surface of my . . . Evilness! Thus, I will tell you a few short tales and pray you find them worthy enough of me acquiring the title of a Greed Lord. Once, I was banished from Orenia for giving my child a blast potion. Not quite on purpose, but she did end up having a few shards of glass getting thrown in the face of some snotty child (who ended up attempting to sue me for insurance!), so it worked out very well. In my PRIME (did I mention I'm immortal?), I had a great flock of children I adopted slash stole slash procured with plans to create my own army. If they were weak, however, I simply gave them to the mutated rats beneath Oren. They either came out a champion or food for the rats. I've also had, at the VERY least, ten husbands ('Sir Alren DeNurem', 'Philip Pruvia', 'Edward Edvardsson', 'Sir Heath Linnord', like ... A lot.), which can attest to how extremely charming I am. However, most of them I've woefully had to put down or send off to sea for being rude and/or infidelity. And FINALLY. I once convinced the entirety of Oren that I was a Daemon named Al'adalm after I planted bombs and exploded their bank, hospital, AND tavern in a few nights with the aid of my son and long-dead undead companion. I never even got a scratch on me, which either shows that I am truly a strong woman or the Orenians of yore were pathetic little vermin. Both? P.S. Here's an evil diagram of ME, hand-painted by a peasant girl I found on the streets. P.S.S., if I am evil enough to ascend to the title of Greed Lord, can I please be something cool? Like ... The Lady of Abominations! Or ... The Lady of Crows! Note the 'r' in Crows. It does not say Cows. I write 'r's very small sometimes. I do not wish to be the Lady of Cows. This is not to say I dislike Cows, however. YOUR'S, 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
satinkira 5875 Share Posted August 22, 2022 Spoiler this frightens me Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TreeSmoothie 4896 Author Share Posted August 22, 2022 7 hours ago, satinkira said: Hide contents this frightens me Spoiler Be frightened 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Werew0lf 12021 Share Posted August 23, 2022 The Dark God Malik the Freak would pen a response in return."I have considered a promotion, but you are a woman, so I have to make sure you aren't lying. We shall meet soon and I shall see how terrifying you truly are." 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TreeSmoothie 4896 Author Share Posted August 23, 2022 4 hours ago, Werew0lf said: The Dark God Malik the Freak would pen a response in return."I have considered a promotion, but you are a woman, so I have to make sure you aren't lying. We shall meet soon and I shall see how terrifying you truly are." Astaroth cackles, rubbing her hands together like a fly. "Hooray! Technically not a woman, but I'll take it," that Magi grinned, reaching out toward the table beside her to begin whittling away at a piece of wood she held. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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