A Child's Duel

[MatronMaeve 170]

 

 

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Spoiler

This is a silly post for a child trying to settle their grievances against another. The event time will be announced if Internetdanny (Imchad) is free and willing to duel. Hope you all enjoy, and please come and bet on the child fight club.

 A Summons to Duel! 

Hear ye, hear ye! By quill and ink and no small amount of righteous indignation, this summons is penned on behalf of Miss Morwen Callaghan, proud daughter of House Callaghan, who has suffered most grievous wrongs at the hands of one Imchad Greye‑O’Rourke, colloquially known as "Chad," the most bothersome of bullies and an all‑around menace to decent society.

Chad has been wagging his tongue, slinging vile names and dreadful insults at Miss Morwen and her sister Mereid. Thus, to restore her and her family’s honor and put a cork in his ceaseless blathering, Morwen hereby challenges him to a duel.

1. The duel shall be held at the tournament grounds of Garenbrig, where there’s ample room for onlookers and proper, honorable walloping.
    
2. The time of said duel is to be within five Saint’s Days, or sooner.
    
3. Each combatant is allowed two weapons of choice. Wooden blunted weapons or fists are the only permitted weapons. Morwen has announced ahead of the duel her chosen pick of a bar stool, valiantly conquered from the Númenost tavern, and an abnormally large wooden spoon fit only for settling the gravest of playground feuds.
    
4. Rules: No biting, no pulling of hair, and no crying for your ma if you lose.
    

Should Chad refuse the summons of the duel, run, or otherwise vanish into the bushes, all shall know him for the cowardly cabbage he truly is, and the Callaghans shall consider the matter settled with his everlasting public shame.

May the best child win.

Signed with proper Callaghan flair,

(A sloppy crayon signature)

[IrradiatedGoose 305]

Kieran read over the letter for a child duel as he stood in the street of Numenost. A gloved palm came up and slapped against his face. "Ay explicitly said to nae cause any feckin' issues." He said aloud, pocketing it for later to give to Roran and Elise to set their child straight.

[ChainedDragons 1374]

Nickolai groaned upon reading the paper. "Vy could have at least talked to Roran first vy shitlin-" Lord they were not going to hear the end of this.

[The Vulgate Cycle 578]

Arthur read the post and let out a hysterical cackle from his room within the Tower of Angrenost.

[rose6614 245]

Elise stifled a laugh as she red the missive. Her daughter truly did take after her own self. "Kieran is going ta kill me... eh, worth it." She pocketed some money to bet on her own child.

[Pepto 677]

Anti-Piracy ahh signature

[PoliteEquation7 202]

Child Fight Club??????

 

[Tainga 521]

Somewhere near the Palace of Númenost...

Athaenis Vourkehardt, clad in her family's armor, remained near the palace, overseeing the removal of the city's defenses–those hastily built against the threat of The Mountain. With the danger passed, it was time the people walked freely through their streets once more. 

In the midst of giving quiet instruction to a few passing workers, a servant approached and offered her a parchment. 

She took it, her gaze falling to the title: "A Child's Duel." A soft breath escaped her nose–almost a sigh–until one particular line caught her attention. 

"A bar stool?" She echoed aloud, baffled. "And... a spoon?"

Then came the snort. Then the giggle. And finally, a full-bodied laugh that rang across the stone. She gave her head a slow shake, folding the parchment with amused care. 

"I wouldn't be surprised if the other shows up with a broom and a bucket... maybe a bench and a soup ladle." She mused, shaking her head with a small smile. With that, the High Chancellor folded the parchment and neatly tucked away, returning to her duties with a faint laugh still lingering on her lips.

[Aimy_lol 429]

Mereid would carefully read the missive in her hand with a bold grin. "Yeah! Ye get 'em, Morwen! All blonde men should be punished fer bein' bullies, meanies, and jerks!"

Edited August 5, 2025 by Aimy_lol

[confusedjester 819]

Einin glowered at the missive upon its delivery, tongue retaining hundreds of snide replies, though none were said just then. She merely crumpled the missive to her forehead and slumped against her door with angry grumbles and mumbles spoken under her breath. 

 

A cartoonish tornado swirl appeared above her head, and steam from her ears!

 

Einin opted for laying across the floor like a starfish, face hidden against the floorboards.

[Monty Cobra 921]

Aurus Greye-O'Rourke, father of the infamous Chad, glanced down at his son with a raised brow as he held the missive.  "When did this occur? You've not left the house in ages and I've found your behavior to be improving greatly..."

 

A sigh was given, as the Greye rubbed his beard. A sage advice was offered to his son —  "Well, ought to do the honorable thing and let the lass win."

[Xayshi 49]

Ser Boromir sat alone on a worn bench in the square of Númenost, one arm draped lazily over the backrest, the other holding a crumpled scrap of parchment. The late afternoon sun cast golden light over the cobbles, but his attention was fixed solely on the inked absurdity in his hands.

 

The first time he read it; his brows rose slowly from disbelief. 

 

The second time, his mouth curved into a grin, the disbelief giving way to something dangerously close to pride.

 

"Whoever taught this child to write," he muttered, voice already tight with stifled laughter, "may the Creator bless you and protect your home from flying bar stools."

 

A sharp snort burst from him. Then a chuckle. And then he was gone --- doubled over with a full, roaring laugh that echoed down the square like a drunken knight falling down a staircase. He slapped his knee, barely able to breathe, head thrown back as he gasped---

 

"A bar stool and a ******* spoon---!"

 

He leaned back, tears in his eyes, laughter still shaking his chest. He wiped his eyes with the heel of his palm, still chuckling, and lifted the parchment again like a sacred text. 

 

"No biting, no hair-pulling, and no crying for your ma...." he read aloud, shaking his head. 

 

"God above, Morwen, you are truly a menace."

 

He sat there for a moment longer, letting the laughter fade to a soft, warm grin. Then, solemnly, he folded the parchment and tucked it into his belt as though it were a dispatch from the throne itself.

 

"I'm framing this." He muttered under his breath as he stood and stretched, then walked away, a light chuckle trailing behind him. 

 

[drtrollado 267]

"If Morwen is as good of a fighter as she is a player of Dastardly Darkspawn..." Franz thought to himself "I would be scared of fighting her"

Edited August 5, 2025 by drtrollado

[Fluffy Horror 496]

"Oooh, Imchad's done it now!' Julia had never met Adrian's infamous sibling, but she had heard of plenty of his exploits. She was ready to show up to cheer on Morwen. Ladies had to stick together, after all.

[Flynnigan 267]

Estelwen read over the missive. "...this is what Yachachiq and Senor Callaghan was yelling about?" she asked quietly. "Ay dios mio... interrupted my sparring." Inti sighed softly, shaking her head. "Morwen and Rodrigo would get along..."