Le Vide et la Culpabilité

[JadeStryuu 534]

Spoiler

This isnt a pk, but just some proper lore of what is going on into a widow and my character...so the lovelies that rp with me knows :3

 

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Le Vide et la Culpabilité

 

Since that day, the world has lost its color.
Everything seems wrapped in a thin veil — not of mist, but of sorrow.
Dawn no longer shines with gold, and night brings no peace.
Even the sea, once my confidant, is silent now:
as if it too has lost something, as if it knows my grief.

 

Since he’s gone, trust has shattered inside me like broken glass.
I can no longer meet another’s eyes; every face feels like a reflection betrayed, a promise unkept.
They say pain ennobles the soul — but I feel no nobility, only emptiness.
And in that void lies a guilt that will not let me breathe.

 

Because I was the one who let him go.
I told him to leave, to be brave, to follow duty as he always had.
And now each of those words turns against me, like a blade twisting endlessly in an open wound.
I don’t know if the sea has claimed him, or if fate itself tore him from me out of cruelty or whim.
But I know that had I only asked him to stay — perhaps, perhaps we would not be two broken shadows now.

Each night he returns in dreams, eyes gentle, never accusing — always forgiving.
 

And still, I cannot forgive myself.
Not for his absence, but for my weakness.
I let my trust die with him, and since then, the world has felt like a lie.
The voices around me sound hollow, the smiles are masks of wax.
I walk among people like a ghost, searching for a fragment of truth I will never find again.

And within me, the wound stays open.
It doesn’t bleed — it burns.
A silent flame consuming all that I once was: the woman, the lover, the believer.
Now there is only Viola — empty, guilty, surviving.

 

And yet sometimes, when the wind slips through the curtains and the scent of the sea returns,
I think I hear his name, carried softly, like a caress that dares not touch me.
Then, for an instant, the pain grows quiet.
But as soon as I close my eyes, it returns — sharper, truer.

Perhaps this suffering is how the universe forces me to remember him.
Perhaps it is my punishment — and my bond.
And if he never returns, then let the pain remain —
for in pain, at least, he still exists.

 

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