[MArt] OPERATION M.O.L.O.C.H.

[milksoda 2884]

 

Spoiler

 

 

 OPERATION M.O.L.O.C.H.

You pace into the court. The chatter of wigs fills your ears with rancorous disgust as your nose scrunches. You had stood in line. 100 people meeting for 100 things with the Emporer. Things you didn’t even know required a meeting! With every honeyed word and every faux smile you prepare your own pitch. The lump in your throat grows tighter as you prepare to make a request for land. Your clammy hand clutches the smooth parchment of your house missive tightly as the smell of cheap Orenian cologne invades your nostrils. Every word rehearsed and every beat calculated. After 2 Saint’s Hours of listening to shilling it’s finally your turn. You’re about to speak. When suddenly you get a cosmic aviary bird, you close your eyes to hear it. Your fifth heir just got ousted as a vampire. You close your eyes and engage in the Halfling anger management techniques you had learned a day prior. You promise them you’ll deal with it later. The Lord of this place looks at you hastily “Well?” he queries downward. You quickly recenter and focus, with swift motions out comes your pitch. He seems amenable so far. Your metaphorical tongue reaches his metaphorical boot before your literal forehead touches the literal ground in reverence of the person you want stuff from. You gaze upward. He is about to accept before, suddenly, one of his many friends stares at you with mouth unmoving and telepathically injects knowledge into the Emporer’s mind. His speech pattern changes. He seems less interested. You are wafted away and threatened with death. You hang your head and begin to pace out of the courtroom. You see it in the corner of your eye. Your rival and his 10/10 Haenseti Reinmaren mix wife with $35 skin and $100 figura. Why was their petition accepted and yours wasn’t? Nepotism you seeth to yourself. Were you not a distinguished individual the steam would practically plume from your ears like from an angry kettle. They hold their hands up to their mouths and laugh in a pitch only mina could buy. As they talk about you in a 1x1 range. Your gaze narrows. You would not forget. You will have your land someday. You hold your chin up high yet your soul is wounded. The many trials of the day have made you tired as you procure from within the aether your soulstone. The only constant in this world anymore. The one thing that’s always been by your side. You are halted. Interrupted. “OI EMPTY YA POCKETS” speaks then one in a skin you swore you’ve seen frankensteined onto another bandit before. You beg and plead that you have nothing. CRP begins. You’ve roleplayed swordplay. You’ve read all the fiore books. Yes, perhaps today you’ll get a win. You begin to CRP at the first movement he starts to ask you about the position of your sword. The length of your blade. The position of your gaze. Your eyes roll in the back of your head as your heart begins to pump blood. I sent a reasonable emote! You think to yourself as you hail blue demons through the same cosmic illmanner that you planned this meeting through. As they begin to side with the bandit. You’ve had enough. In one emote you rise to full stature and utter the words of power as you extend forth your hand the clouds part to reveal a porcelain radiant white light. THE SUN. WHITE AND HOLY. As the bandit looks at you with passive aggressive gaze and types dreadedly with those two curved lines that makes your teeth grind ((um, what magic is this? Suddenly, a beam of holy death sunders outward from the universes eye and obliterates a nearby pinktag who was asking about the Hatsune Miku statue mid CRP.

 

  MALCHAEDIEL ORBITAL LIGHT OUTPUT CANNON HUB

 

 

DESCRIPTION OF THE ARTIFACT:
When entering Azuras one would notice that the sun was now radiant white like Malchaediel’s flame and could feel remnants of the dead star Xan. All of Azuras is under the Brazen Bonfire effect forever. It has been altered from whatever elden ring backfacing lore you guys were planning and repurposed into an orbital laser (way cooler guys) that can shoot 1 giant Vigorous Blow that appears as a big ginormo gongus laser. (See: Big fuckign Laser)

Big fuckign Laser:

 

WHAT DOES THE ARTIFACT DO?

In [1] emote [Connection + Total Obliteration] the artifact casts downward forth a beam of righteous white flame in the shape of a beam [Flavor] that would seek to render 1 person into dust only 1 time. 

 

REDLINES:

Spoiler

• THE ORBITAL LASER IS COOL
• THE ORBITAL LASER CAN ONLY BE USED BY SOMEONE WHO POSSESES MALCHAEDIEL’S COURAGE.
• THE ORBITAL LASER CAN ONLY BE USED BY ME OR ANYONE WHO ASKS ME REALLY NICELY
• THE ORBITAL LASER POWERGAMES ALL WAYS TO AVOID CERTAIN DEATH
• THE ORBITAL LASER CANNOT MISS
• THE ORBITAL LASER INSTANT KILLS 1 PERSON
• THE ORBITAL LASER DOES NOT PK (THEY MUST REMEMBER)
• THE MONKS DO NOT ERASE THE MEMORY OF GETTING MEGA OBLITERATED BY THE ORBITAL LASER
• THE ORBITAL LASER (as a downside of course!) CAN ONLY BE USED ONCE
• PLEASE

 

OOC PURPOSE:

Now that the war is over I just think we all want to see blood one last time before we die. I just think that everything has been really quiet and I think everyone would value from this. Since people can ask me nicely to use the laser I will likely let someone else use it. Probably a pinktag. I just think I should be allowed to kill 1 (ONE) person once (1) TIME. Just 1 time. Please. 

 

REDLINES:

Spoiler

• JUST ONE TIME
• PLEASE

 

HOW WAS THE ARTIFACT MADE?

I was a Paladin who survived. I stick it on his third eye and make him blink. My Asioth is like my spread always stacking. I have repurposed Xannic technomancy (real lore) to Malchaediel and Jophiael as my Paladin enlists the help of three mighty templars to bring back the Xannic egg obliteratonator. In a great ritual a maximum of THREE (3) Templar gather around the brazen bonfire and enter LOS (LINE OF SIGHT) with the sun, mages are allowed to cast upon something so long as they have line of sight and our templars can see the sun thereby justifying that the sun can be blessed by THREE (holy number) templars chanting in hymnal prayer:
 

The chant must be spoken in entirety and cannot be altered in any way or the creation ritual would fail:

 

“You take a bat and a pangolin and mix them both together

let the bat bite the pangolin (he doesn't feel better)

take the bat and the pangolin and shake em both up

and when you jab that same pangolin you've made a deadly superbug.”

 

Then upon the chants penultimate word with lettering amounting to a prime number each Templar will throw 100 trophies into the flame all grinded off of Sr_Dimentio or any other ghoul player everytime they try to give anyone content. These trophies will be sacrificed as soon as the MART is accepted because if theyre not accepted im gonna use them for something else. Thanks. I dont wanna actually risk my trophies lol. Here is proof that I have Malchaediel’s courage which is a necessity to be able to use the MArt.

 

Spoiler

 

 

Edited April 1 by milksoda

[_DreamEater_ 184]

I see no problem with this MArt, +1

[Ardory 2978]

Artifact approved. Please contact me for your in-game item. This comment and the thread's title will be edited within the next hour to display what MArt number it is being designated with.

[Turbo_Dog 3566]

🍺  Yay!