THE GENTLEMAN'S COURIER | The First Publication

[Croangutan 224]

 

[!] Across the Imperial City of Rittersberg a new publication began to show, found on benches and or before people’s doors.

 

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Hey everyone! This is my first post like this so I hope the image is readable! If not I have posted the image here: https://postimg.cc/DSkHQbk6
I also need to thank the people behind Lady Truthful for accidentally motivating me to make this. Hope we have some great fun!

 

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Transcript 

T H E  G E N T L E M A N‘ S   C O U R I E R

I M P R E SS I O   R I TT E R S B E R G E N S I S   A N N O   D O M I N I   D C L I V (Printed in Rittersberg in year of our Lord 654)

Hark! Leal sons and daughters of Horen. Victorious is our realm mighty, one of power and vigour. Peace has covered our heads like the most gentle of blankets and the fruits of labour, both that of mind and or body have given this Imperium of ours a true Saeculum aureum.  Alas, dear readers, some may deny these truths. Let it be known that this writer believes that those who deny these universal truths are nothing more than outlaws, degenerates and most importantly traitorous criminals. But, fear not dear fellow subjects for “The Gentleman’s Courier” is the bastion of virtue and truth in this very Imperium. It is a common truth that with knowledge comes responsibility and those who lack such skills often twist their facts into outrageous lies and horrid caricatures of reality, therefore rendering such fiction. In recent years a scoundrel by the disingenuous name of “Lady Truthful” has caused quite a stir up within all layers of our glorious society. We, the Gentlemen and Ladies, of this fine realm understand that her words are pure slander, but some may take her information as truth – such we reject and denounce. Do not think that this “Lady” only speaks of the most imaginary scandals of high society, but know that she will stoop to the lowest of lows. Her words even target you, the fateful and loyal. She is nay a friend. Forget that not. It is only a matter of time before she comes for you, to slander your name and legacy as well. Therefore, it is this writer’s suggestion that all whom may suspect or ideally know who hides behind the moniker of “Lady Truthful” bring such information forward to their closest Imperial authority. Keeping this a secret for any longer will cause severe damage to both you, your family and other relations. This is your choice, dear reader, for if you know speak or the silence of history shall swallow you whole. Justice shall be served, that we truly assure.

 

WHAT MAKETH ONE A GENTLEMAN?

It is recognised that in recent years acts of valour and chivalry have grown fewer and fewer. We are here to remind our dear readers that a gentleman is not only made by the acts of war and bravery, but also by good and well meaning action, in other words behaviour. Therefore, here we lay out a few good rules on how one may act and behave like a true gentleman:

One must use titles accordingly, keeping it well balanced and true to fact (e.g. “Your Grace,” when addressing a duke or duchess, simply “Your Ladyship” when referring to a Baroness and so on)

 

• A gentleman is to dress properly and is to keep themselves well groomed and maintained, same principles befall their steed and carriage if in possession of such
• Gentlemen do not flaunt their wealth, instead they display it in a civilised fashion or even hint at it trough good figures of speech
• Know when to speak and when to listen – the ratio of listening and conversing shall be 2:1 ideally
• Always know your place. Keep your head high, but do not allow it to soar the clouds. Be loyal and helpful to all who require your trust and person. 
• Respect those above you and even below you for it shows your purity

 

IN HISTORIA AMPLIORE HUIUS IMPERII HOMINIS PRAETERITO, PRAESENS ET NUNC ( In the larger history of this Empire of Man, Past, Present, Future)

One must never forget their duty of remembering the great histories of this race of Horen. That is why we, dear readers, turn to the Imperial couple which has graciously chose to present us, the humble servants of this realm, with a closer look into the early Imperial Regalia of the Tiberian era of rule. Those old enough amongst us still may remember the Burgundine Crown, the one which was used to crown His Imperial Majesty when he was simply known as King of Burgundy. The proclamation described the crown in more detail as “ broad and heavy” and “engraved with many small symbolisms, dragons, renatian crosses and rubies”. Alongside such, many other artefacts were described and engraved upon the document. The most interesting amongst them ought to be the Coronation Garments of Tiberias I, the Tiara of Duchess of Helena, Necklace of Conquest and the wedding garments of Circe of Myrine. But, many wonder will the Imperial Crown present these items of history before the common crowd in person or shall their simple documentation suffice.

THE VERY FUNNY YE OLD JEST:

“For me honour! - Character 1
“Feck me honour! I’d much rather stab ya!” - Character 2

The ever so wise Mr. Benorconnu: “It is I good friends, Monsieur Benorconnu, connoisseur of the fine art of jest and gentlemanly provocation. The jest before you pokes fun at the domination of the armed societies in times requiring pen and paper. Wise men say to wage war one must use his mind too. The boneheads in this picture clearly do not know such! Many thanks.”

ADVERTISEMENT

1. Saint Godwinsburger

HUNGRY HAROLD SPEAKETH

“Ho there, both noble, peasant and or weary knight!

I, Hungry Harold, eater of twenty burgers and servant of the sacred grill,

do proclaim this joyous decree:

For but three tibers, thou may obtain:

• One Godwin Burger of blessed beef
• Pontifical burger with a side of crisps
• A mighty goblet of sweetened cider”

 

Situated just beyond the gates of St. Godwinsburg in the Archduchy of Alba. 

 

“Come for a taste of delectable that you shan’t regret!”

 

2. Baruch’s Bears

 

THE BEAR YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU NEEDED

“The only bears left on Azuras!”

-o-

Hurry now! Before you lose your chance to own the last specimens of this species.

-o-

- Fear not, for these bears are of cotton-

They bite not! 

 

Find us at Market Street 2 in Rittersberg

 

Be quick with it now! Before our prices become... unBEARable!

SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM THE GENTLEMAN’S COURIER:

PRAY TELL

DEAREST

READER!

Rumour, truth, fabrication, well known or seldom - we, the merry Gentlemen of this publication, wish to know!

If you seek to advertise or if you wish to have a story published:

Write to us! -


IN OTHER WORDS SEND ME A MESSAGE VIA FORUMS!!

 

 

 

 

Edited May 14 by Croangutan

[ErosTea 1084]

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This is super cute, good job croangutan <3

 

[Tide1 4535]

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[ Stuff like this, which attempts a kind of period-accurate 'medieval' look, is extremely aesthetically pleasing. Please do continue. ]

 

[Laeonathan 5891]

9 hours ago, Tide1 said:

  Hide contents

[ Stuff like this, which attempts a kind of period-accurate 'medieval' look, is extremely aesthetically pleasing. Please do continue. ]

 

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I have nothing to add.

 

[cometking123 236]

To be a Gentlemen, the balance between listening and speaking is two to one?
Were that the case, this bard'd be a borish brute. 

I must adjust my tendencies...

[MisaiAki 91]

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misha stamp of approval great job