The Claw Lore, According To Bod

[Bawd 222]

Unknown to most who would come into contact with him, Bod Claw has kept a rather detailed records of the events of his family, the Claws. It is, in fact, written down on the potato sack that he wears as his informal clothes, as opposed to his snazzy hat and fancy jacket. His records read as follows;

The Claw Family

Ash day der wus a bootifool Gobbo wumman. Dis am wus Momo Claw. Momo Claw am wus be obsesd wif hur uppeerunce und fought she wus am all bub’hosh and stuv. Momo Claw med a bub’hosh man whu made many cubbies wif hur.

Da first cubby wus Jingeh.

Jingeh am be a supur bub’hosh Gobbo wub keep all da udders in urdur. Hi am hav red nuse und he am be hozsh uld.

Da next cubby wus Jangle.

Jangle am wus nub knuwn much abut by Bawd. All Bawd am knuw is dat he wus called Jangle, und he am da furst ash tu hab da uxplosive shet disurder.

Da next cubby wus Kungg.

Kungg am a hozsh Gobbo. Kungg am sell toiz fur boff playin agh eatin!

Da next cubby wus Glob.

Glob am a funneh Gobbo. Bawd am nub fink he am all quite der in da head. Bawd am unly seen him ash ur dub times.

Da next cubby wus Mingle.

Mingul am bub'hosh sezzeh ladeh wub hab purpul hayur and is bub'hosh, yub.

Da nexts am wus Clack und Tineh, wub am twins.

Clack und Tineh ur small, smelleh Gobbos wub wear War Paint und bof hab da uxplosive shet disurder, a curse wub am caused by da Roseus Klomp Serpent gedding angreh and shouting da ancient Skah Wurds ad dem. Dis am create mojo munstur wub klomp wif da twins until dey defeat id, bud id leabs da turrible curse ob da uxplosive shet disurder.

Da next am wus Bobo.

Bobo am stil a yung Gobbo wub am peezful yed can ged vereh ungreh when he doesn't get his fud. He am peeps up tu Jingeh as he sees him as da biggur bruddah and fathur at da sayme tiyme. Oll Bobo cayres aboud am habbing fun und he does nub fink about da results ob his akshuns vurry much.

Da nexts am wus Bod und Klobb.

Bawd am a bub’hosh mojo warriur whu am klomped all da ebils in da wurld und klomped in a war fer da Rex und klomped maneh munsturs in da nayme ob da Claws. Huwevur, Klobb am stinkeh skah-head wif nub frendz.

Da next cubby am wus Keggi.

Keggi am a skah-head tuuped poop-hedd wif nub braynz! Hi am nub strung ur smurt ur mightee und nub ged ladehz tu mayte wif.

Der ur maneh uvver Claws, bud Bawd am furgut abut dem.

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Da Stury Ob Claw Manor

Claw Manor am wus covvurred in shet back in da day wen Jangul wud shet on id. Den Clack und Tineh came alung und made id wurs. Dey am suppusedly Jangle’s luv childrun. Den sezzeh ladeh, ulso knuwn as Umulia, came ulung und cleaned id up. Bawd am unly gud tu shet in da Manor ash ur dub times, maybeh gakh. Udder dan dat tiyme wen dat Uruk came in und Bawd und Jingeh klomped bravehleh wif da puwer ob da Roseus Klomp Serpent und ulso da puwer of da shet und furts.

Dis am da Claw Famuhlee Histuree, as recurded by Bawd.

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Da Gobbo Code

Da Gobbo Code am a cuwde dat muzd be ruspekted by awll ruspektabul Claw Gobbos. Id konzizt ob gakh main rules.

I. Lat am nub klomp a wumman.

II. Lat am awlwehz azk tuh mayte wif a wumman.

III. Lat am nub flat anuddur Gobbo.

[steelersfan1221 300]

Moved to the Great Library. It shall be sorted into appropriate category shortly.