A Delve Into Blackfyre Meadow | Adventure Post

[Eleatic 1033]

Ikur stared with a blank facade of disinterest to the quiet old man, his eyes tracing over him, interest growing. He steps forward; Asking the seemingly ancient ‘Mali in a cyclical tone

“Of this I hear, you are knowledgable of the art of magic.”

The man pays little heed, only bowing his head in a lowly fashion, up, down. Ikur’s facade of disinterest disappeared, instead filled with a curl of his lips, a smile; Mixed with a snideful smirk. An utterance escaping from his lips

“Excellent.”

[i’ll leave this paragraph on a note; By knowledgable, I mean in the terms knowing magic users.]

They rode within Ikur’s carriage. The old man and the Mali’Ahreal making for little conversation, simply bracing at each bump. Awaiting the revive to their destination, only a faint

“Hmph”

Erupting from the High Elf’s mouth, as they rode.

A smirk appeared on the High Elf’s face, as they reached their destination, for a moment, he was surprised it was even their.. Then doubt creeped his neck, he stared back. To the Decrepit. and shambling old man, he said in a wearily disgruntled tone

“You first.”

The old man intoned, Ikur searching around as he does, finally nodding. His hands fluttering upward, pushing past the oaken door, ducking his head. Descending into the putrid crypt.

~

Ikur entered the crypt with a reluctant. And oddly terrified.

“Let us descend.”

Obviously at a loss of what would be of value within this thing.. Perhaps he should step out, this could; After all.. Just be an old mans ramblings. But he trudges onward, pushing past the ever-growing moss, staring in an awe at the ruin.. Great banners flew from the walls, though. Obviously stained, and ruined. He ran forward. Asking the old elf in a weary tone

“I thought you said this was a crypt?!”

"It is."

He says with the most reluctant tone.

[More to be added, as the role play was never finished. The Person in question had to leave! <3 Another note; If curious. Ikur is looking for books. ;u]

[Secret Lizard President 313]

A nice piece of work Tavari, I like to read about your character's adventures and such. Maybe you should pack all of his antics into a single thread from here on out to make them easier to locate as well.

Harsh Criticisms.

((You seem to have a knack for writing, but I will criticize you just because. ^u^ There are a few errors I noticed as I read through this, but overall it was nicely put together.))

Awaiting the revive to their destination

((This being the first of the noticeable errors, I can't help but to question if this is a typo or misuse of the word revive, but I think you could tweak that sentence.))

Ikur entered the crypt with a reluctant. And oddly terrified.

((This being another noticeable error, you should remove the period here and add two commas, one before "And" and another after "terrified". I also believe, despite this being a well-typed piece, for the most part, that you could add a bit of substance to the writing and make it more of a read. I felt like this was just a small glance over of events at separate times, and that I couldn't really grasp why he or the man were riding to the place at all, unless this was intended of course. Overall, a nicely written piece, and I'll give you a +1 for it. This has been a typing lesson brought to you by Pip, for no apparent reason. ^u^))

((P.S. Please don't use the centered thingy-ma-bob so much, it makes it look a bit messy! Left indent your paragraphs so they don't look so odd, please!))

[steelersfan1221 300]

Moved to the Great Library. It shall be sorted into appropriate category shortly.