[Denied]Redpen900's Application [Human]

[TheRedPengu 0]

Out-Of-Character Information
Please fill out the following questions as accurately as possible, and ensure the essential details are accurate.

Minecraft Account Name:Redpen900
How old are you?:17
Time-Zone:Eastern
Have you read, understood and agreed to the rules?:Yes I have.
What previous experience have you had in role-playing?:I was on 4 other role-play servers
How did you hear about the Lord of the Craft?: I saw a YouTube video on it and then later on a server list
Link any applications that you have previously made for the server:http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/83719-elf-redpen900s-application/
Have you posted this application on the Minecraft Forum? If not, then please do so (link above):http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/832121-the-lord-of-the-craft-enter-the-world-of-anthos-officially-t-h-e-1-roleplay-server/page__st__2740__gopid__21798624#entry21798624
Have you read the Human lore, and shall you ensure you make use of it and follow it in your biography?:Yep

Definitions
In your own words define the following terms. Do not take any definitions from elsewhere!:

Role-playing:When yu are someone you are not/ in a different world as a different person.
Meta-gaming:Knowing out OOC information or something the character is not supposed to be aware of.
Power-emoting:Making your own emote like *Talrog sees a goat*.

In-Character Information:
Complete the following biography on your character:

Full Name: Alvor Wintershade
Current Age:21
Sub-race (if any):
Past / History (include childhood, major-events, etc. 2+ paragraphs long): One day on a boat in the middle of the sea I was born. The previous day Our boat was attacked by pirates. Wanting to keep me safe my parents tossed me off the boat into the water in a barrel. The only thing inside the barrel was me a not explaining this story. 3 days later I washed up on the shore of a nice human village. After waiting for a couple hours a man found Me on the beach this was my so called "father". His name was Marcus Wintershade, His fiancée was Charlotte Wintershade. These two took care of me like I was their own.I had 3 brothers and 2 sisters. After two years of being taken care of by the Wintershades. I started taking an interest in archery watching my older brothers shoot the targets Marcus made for them. Wondering "Why does the arrow fly?" or "am I going to be like that when I'm older?". These questions were answered in time.

2 years past and my family and I had to move out of the village to start a traveling trade caravan. This trade caravan was the best thing I have ever seen! It had marvelous colors of pink and blue and green and red! Being four I only knew that color makes everything better. But then one day my family's caravan got attacked by bandits. These bandits were the usual ones covering there faces with some sort of cloth My brothers Tried to shoot but they missed not having to practice in a while seeing as we had to leave they homemade range behind. Then without thinking I took the spare bow from the carrot barrel where no one ever looks and I pulled back an arrow and let it go and it bounced off a rock hit a tree and hit one of the bandits in the head. Of course not dead because of how dull the arrows were. Then the other bandits ran off thinking a monster attacked there friend. We celebrated that day with a nice mug of my mothers hot coco and some chocolate. 10 years have passed and my father taught me archery. We practiced on mushrooms on the trees we passed on our way to our stops . 4 Years passed and at the age of 18 on my eighteenth birthday I found the note my real parents. Sad I asset off now to look for my old parents.
Ambitions for the Future: To find His long lost parents.
Personality: Funny, kind, nice and caring but also to smart for his own good.
Skills: Archery: From when he practiced with his so called father. Speech: From his time on the trade caravan he took care of the deals when family was off getting new supplies.
Appearance (this must include an in-game screenshot of your skin): Strong but not buff brown hair and blue eyes.
Any other details you wish to share about your character:

Open-Response-Questions
Each question in this section must be answered with a minimum of one paragraph which must describe the event in full. Please be as descriptive as possible and do not break character or lore at any point.
____

1. Whilst in the mighty human capital you notice a dark-clothed figure stealthily making his way towards the Emperor’s palace - he is clearly up to no good. There are guards within shouting distance - what do you do?

Answer: I see the man slowly making it towards the palace I a approach him and say "Hello why are you sneaking around?" he did not answer. I would get my friend to call the guards distracting him as they come. "How long are you staying in the city?" he replies with "not long". I ask "why? This city is the best there is, surely u could stay a bit longer!". The man takes out his knife and points it to my throat. "Look man I don't want any-" I kick his leg he falls down I pull the knife out of his hands and pin him down. "Guards! Guards" I shout the guards come and throw him in jail for almost killing me.

2. Whilst wandering in the deep oak forest you come across a large clearing, in which sits a small cobbled cottage. Outside it stands an unstable old man armed with a small iron blade, surrounded by two heavily armed bandits - they appear to be threatening him. You are armed with leather armour and an iron longsword, how do you react?

Answer: I see the old man and I sneak behind the cottage. Undetected I reach for my longsword and I charge at the bandits one tried to hit me I dodge his swing and hit both of them in the head with my hilt. They fall to the ground unconscious then I drag them out of the field and hide them in the forest. I go back to the old man he says "Thank you". I reply with "It was nothing just two bandits up to no good". He offers me some food for my travels and a bed for the night. I accept his off but as I fall asleep I wonder why those bandits chose him an old unstable man. The next day I pack up saying Farwell to the old man he waves goodbye as I cross the field into the oak forest.



3. You are standing within the mighty human capital when you notice a small man standing behind a colourful stall. You approach the stall and notice that the man is selling a variety of general goods - he says that he is selling just about anything and that he has no set prices. He is willing to allow you to haggle and choose prices. What do you do? (Explain: your haggling, items of choice and the discussion that happens).

Answer: I walk up to the stall and see the most magnificent bow I have ever seen I think in my head "I must get that bow!". The shopkeeper looks at be and says an archer? Well we have just the thing for you!" he pulls out the bow. "How much?" I ask, "any price you want". "10" I reply with He says "20" I say " 15 him mistaking it for 1520 He says yes I wrote it down and gave him 35 dollars and walk away with my new bow.

[cruzazul 2815]

 

Unfortunately your application has been denied. Here are a few things that you should look to improve if you want to re-apply.

 

 

 

Your power-emoting definition is incorrect. The other two definitions are short and do not really explain what it means in full. I would recommend adding on them and finding the power-emoting definition, but do not plagiarize or it is an instant denial.

 

Your biography is lacking in lore, though the size is good it does need to include server lore within it. If you cannot find the lore page go here.

 

You could describe your character in more detail. With what you have said I do not really get a good picture of how he looks, thinks, and acts. Add onto that and explain even the minor details. They can help a lot when describing someone.

 

Your ORQs are a bit short, your third one mostly. Look to improve on those and add more dialogue.

 

Please wait 24 hours from this denial before reapplying. If you have any questions don't be afraid to shoot me a PM.

[cruzazul 2815]

Moved to Denied Forum